So I felt the need to write you how I was feeling. This isn’t some sad attempt to try to get you back or to try to make you feel bad, I just feel like I need to say some things that have been on my mind, and to get some sort of closure on whatever it was that we were. I’ll start with the part that will likely be easier to hear.
Oddly enough, I do think that you’re a good guy. You’re fun to hang around, you make me laugh, and I feel like overall we had some pretty good times together. I hope that someday you will make some girl really happy and that she will treat you right and make you happy too. I know that you have been hurt in the past, and that really sucks, but don’t let it affect who you become. I also really hope that in the process you realize that what you are doing to girls now is really hurtful. I can’t understand why you do it – this is one of the toughest questions I have about you because I really don’t think you’re a bad person, but I just don’t understand why you do what you do.
I also don’t think that you will ever be truly happy if you continue on this path. I could be totally wrong, but since I’m practically a psychologist, I’m going to give you my opinion. I know that you want to be happy, but I don’t think that you will ever find true happiness until you first change yourself. Try being the kind of person that you’re looking for so that when you do find her, you don’t have to lie and pretend you’re somebody that you’re not. I get the feeling that you’re always trying to impress others. Trust me, your current lifestyle doesn’t impress anyone (except maybe people like Chris who don’t have souls – ha!). You have so much going for you in your life, and I know if you just got your sh*t together, it could be so much better. I don’t really know why I’m telling you this to be honest, but I guess some part of me does still care about you (or maybe feels bad for your pathetic life – ha, just kidding!).
Anyways, take my advice for what it’s worth, maybe I’m way off, but I feel like I’m a pretty good judge of character. I also want you to know how you have made me feel. I’ve ever felt more hurt, alone or worthless in my life. I trusted you and you absolutely abused that trust and hurt me in the worst way possible.
I don’t go through a day without thinking about what I now have and will have for years to come.
How I no longer feel worthy of a good guy in my life because
I feel so tainted and dirty.
The hardest part to get over for me is the fact that I got this from somebody who didn’t even care about me – that hurts so much. That up until the very end, you said that you would be there for me to help me through it, but now you won’t even reply to my texts or answer my phone calls. I hope that you never make another girl go through this kind of pain. Like I said before, I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, I just want you to know what I’m going through. I know that I am a strong person, and that I will obviously get over this. I might just not show up to the exam, but we’ll see.
I also really hope that you realize that you sure as fuk are contagious regardless of symptoms and that you will be for a while – don’t make any stupid decisions. So basically I just really needed to get some of these thoughts off my chest. You can reply if you want to, but I’ve pretty much given up expecting anything from you, so I will be fine either way.
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