Divorce, how did you deal with it? SRS

[NotBigEnough206]

So been a hell of a month, one friends marriage down the drain, wife said she is leaving him cuase of constant cheating, well mostly my womans friends, but nonetheless two kids and it made me feel bad.

Yesterday morning woman texts me says call me now. So I call and say wtf you want. j/k

Basically my cousin, found out her hubby has been with another woman for a while now, 3 kids, yes 3 kids. She found out, somehow left his Ipad home, she confronted him. He admited, said he pretty much loves the other woman and is leaving my cousin and her 3 kids.

So ladies, what is the best advice I can give her. I already told her not to have hopes for him coming back at all, and to speak to a lawyer immediaetly. Her 6 year old spent last night at our place and it broke my heart watching him at that age knowing what is going on and just not bein himself, tried cooking for him, playing games with him and talking to him, but the poor kid just wasnt there.

SRS question for the ladies.

Fuking idiot, 3 kids and a wife, and he goes and tattooes this chicks birthday on his body, then tells the wife its a date when my mom was sick or some ish like that, I have always wanted to knock this guys teeth in, but now I really really want to and wish I could see him and say some things to him.

[BEEvon]

So, a real d bag with a stellar set of morals? Ya, ought to be a real peach to divorce.

Under the best of circumstances, when children are involved- divorce is awful. But it really doesn't sound like he's the kinda guy worth trying to save a relationship for. She would be better off without him.

Im sorry for what she's going thru and all you can do is be there to listen, help with the kids when you can, and let her know you've got her back. She's in for a rough road and will need all the support she can get from those that care about her.

[LV2MODEL]

Geeze! He has some serious issues! It's obvious that he's unconcerned with his wife's feelings. I'm sorry to hear this. I'm not a psychologist but it sounds like it's for the best. She doesn't deserve to be cheated on continuously. She may need to see a professional to help her cope, but the fact that you are there for her means a lot! That's a tough situation.

[NotBigEnough206]

Yeah it sucks big time for her now, 3 little kids, the guy is out there telling her its her fault, all of it this and that. On top of that wants everything out of court to be settled, her move out of the house, him and his gf move in there. Just retarted demands on his end.

I pretty much told her go to court, get a lawyer, take him for everything he has, she needs to put her kids as priority one, and told her pretty much that she would be stupid not to talk to a lawyer and get this done right.

[BEEvon]

Sometimes 'taking him for everything he has' and 'putting kids as priority #1' can't be accomplished together. It's going to take a lot of compromise and taking the high road for the kids sake. The More squabbling, fighting, trash talking, blaming, and nit picking the harder it is on the kids. Kids don't want to see their parents fighting period. But, it's so hard to keep that in mind when you've been hurt. Been there.

[NotBigEnough206]

Sometimes 'taking him for everything he has' and 'putting kids as priority #1' can't be accomplished together. It's going to take a lot of compromise and taking the high road for the kids sake. The More squabbling, fighting, trash talking, blaming, and nit picking the harder it is on the kids. Kids don't want to see their parents fighting period. But, it's so hard to keep that in mind when you've been hurt. Been there.

I understand, but obviously this fool has completely disregarded his family, no loyalty and no honor in that at all, I come from a place where people kill or die for honor, this man has none and doesnt deserve any. The whole family is pretty much out to get him, one way or another.

Talking about seeing the kids few hours a week is all he needs, been 3 days already and he hasnt called once to see how the kids are, his own kids. In the last 2 months has completely drained their savings to nothing, bought the new gr a ring and all.

[latebloomingmom]

jeeeeeezuz I came in here thinking this was about you NBE

[mrshester]

I understand, but obviously this fool has completely disregarded his family, no loyalty and no honor in that at all, I come from a place where people kill or die for honor, this man has none and doesnt deserve any. The whole family is pretty much out to get him, one way or another.

Talking about seeing the kids few hours a week is all he needs, been 3 days already and he hasnt called once to see how the kids are, his own kids. In the last 2 months has completely drained their savings to nothing, bought the new gr a ring and all.

She may not be able to take him for everything, but if that was me I would be fighting to take him for everything I could. It absolutely blows my mind how ANYone could do that to their children, let alone a spouse. I'm not a person who typically wishes ill will on folks, but this guy has it coming. And the broad he's with? What would make her think she's gonna be any different? I don't know what the couple's relationship was like, but those babies don't deserve to be treated like crap like that and their mama shouldn't be left to take care of them with no help. I hope she gets as much as she can and then the state takes even more for child support. Scum of the earth are those who desert their babies.

[NotBigEnough206]

jeeeeeezuz I came in here thinking this was about you NBE

Yeah no, thank god Im not in that boat. It sucks either way for her though, and she realy didnt deserve this. This is a woman that got married at 20, and he was the only man she has ever been with period. After 12 years of marriage and 3 kids he drops the bomb on her just like that, and wants to take it all from her too.

[BEEvon]

I understand, but obviously this fool has completely disregarded his family, no loyalty and no honor in that at all, I come from a place where people kill or die for honor, this man has none and doesnt deserve any. The whole family is pretty much out to get him, one way or another.

Talking about seeing the kids few hours a week is all he needs, been 3 days already and he hasnt called once to see how the kids are, his own kids. In the last 2 months has completely drained their savings to nothing, bought the new gr a ring and all.

I hear ya. Thoughts of revenge can get really consuming though. I like to think that kind of scum gets what is coming to him one way or another. I don't envy your position or hers. So sad for everyone involved.

[latebloomingmom]

Yeah no, thank god Im not in that boat. It sucks either way for her though, and she realy didnt deserve this. This is a woman that got married at 20, and he was the only man she has ever been with period. After 12 years of marriage and 3 kids he drops the bomb on her just like that, and wants to take it all from her too.

I think with a good attorney she could get child support, a working vehicle, the house and maybe spousal support
by the way..an attorney can freeze his assetts immediately
is she a stay at home mom? her family or someone she knows may need to help her with the retainer fee
but her husband will pay the cost of the attorney and court fees of the divorce
if she is going to move on this
best to do it quickly before he empties all the bank accounts, the savings, and moves all his stuff out

[Artemis00]

Yeah no, thank god Im not in that boat. It sucks either way for her though, and she realy didnt deserve this. This is a woman that got married at 20, and he was the only man she has ever been with period. After 12 years of marriage and 3 kids he drops the bomb on her just like that, and wants to take it all from her too.

Some people can be so incredibly selfish and should never be allowed to have kids or even interact with society in general. Sorry to hear that her and the kids are going thru that. Lawyer is best option and quick. That way when he pulls the stuff...like draining the savings...it can get in him a lot of hot water with the judge.

[NotBigEnough206]

The guy has already drained the savings in the last two months on shopping sprees with new gf and her diamond ring, its all in the bank statements, that his wife had to go to the bank and get.

There is not much money left at all, I plainly told her if she doesnt get a lawyer, she is stupid, he is actually blaming her for things, and is guilting her in to not going to the lawyer, talking about how can you leave the father of your kids broke etc etc.

She is not a SAHM, but she did work part time. I just am in disbelief, if there ever was a perfect wife she was the one, I think too perfect, and that can be a problem too.

Business trips for weeks, shopping sprees, etc etc and she never asked him what the fuk he is doing, where he is and why all the expensive clothes, jewelry, shoes etc etc.

[littlelady]

I would tell your cousin that she didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes people just don't know how to control themselves and they will pay the piper in time. She deserves better and it is possible to love again.

For now, she needs to take care of herself and the kids. DO NOT speak badly about the father in front of the kids. DO NOT use them as pawns in an ugly game. She may hate the father, but she should not let the kids know that. He is still their father and talking badly about him will make them very uncomfortable. She can badmouth him on her own time without the kids around. And it is important that they see their father whether she wants them to or not. If he is willing, she should allow it (unless he is doing anything damaging to them). They need a relationship with him if possible.

Try to keep things as neutral as possible. Get a lawyer and ask for what you need, but try not to get in a fighting match. The more amicable you can make it, the easier on everyone it will be.

In the end, the kids will suffer the most. They are the ones who need the attention. They don't need to hear nasty words or witness fighting or be stopped from seeing the other parent. Far too many people only worry about themselves and their anger towards the ex-partner and it is the kids who end up all messed up because of it.

[UnaChispita]

This is heartbreaking NBE. Sorry that happened to your cousin.
You're right; the man has no honor.

Watched the same thing happen to my sis.

My advice:
Tell her to get a lawyer.
Get her hands on whatever $ she can in the accounts.--Do you really think a guy who doesn't care to see his kids is going to care about paying child support?
Tell her not to bad mouth her ex in front of the kids. This puts the kids in a stressful position.
Start saving $ for a divorce-the nastier they get, the more expensive they are.

As for you and your wife. I don't think there is anything you can say, but just be a support to her. Raising 3 kids as a single mom will be tough. Whatever you can do to help her out/watch the kids so she can have a break would be a good idea.

It also sounds like you will need to step in as a positive male role model for the kids since their own father is a cheating, lying, scum sucking dog.

[latebloomingmom]

The guy has already drained the savings in the last two months on shopping sprees with new gf and her diamond ring, its all in the bank statements, that his wife had to go to the bank and get.

There is not much money left at all, I plainly told her if she doesnt get a lawyer, she is stupid, he is actually blaming her for things, and is guilting her in to not going to the lawyer, talking about how can you leave the father of your kids broke etc etc.

She is not a SAHM, but she did work part time. I just am in disbelief, if there ever was a perfect wife she was the one, I think too perfect, and that can be a problem too.

Business trips for weeks, shopping sprees, etc etc and she never asked him what the fuk he is doing, where he is and why all the expensive clothes, jewelry, shoes etc etc.

she wanted to be the happy little wife and mother and she is probably a very nice person..he knows this and he is using it against her
he is a manipulator and a selfish prick
she is still in a state of denial and disbelief
and if she calls an attorney and initiates this thing
well..that makes it real now doesnt it?

[NotBigEnough206]

Thank you all for the replies, I cant really do much but be supportive and help out with the kids.

I just dont understand how some men can do that to their children, how can a vagina be more important then a child, or let alone 3 of them. I just dont see it, its not logical. Its a vagina, its nothing special, the same one that his wife has, its the same thing.

I dont know, Im just stressing and venting, no honor in this man, and his father was a POS too, so I pretty much told the cuz what did you expect, like father like son.

[latebloomingmom]

Thank you all for the replies, I cant really do much but be supportive and help out with the kids.

I just dont understand how some men can do that to their children, how can a vagina be more important then a child, or let alone 3 of them. I just dont see it, its not logical. Its a vagina, its nothing special, the same one that his wife has, its the same thing.

I dont know, Im just stressing and venting, no honor in this man, and his father was a POS too, so I pretty much told the cuz what did you expect, like father like son.

now you know as well as I do..he got a bad case of the BBD's



I have an uncle who married my aunt when I was a teenager
they built a home on a piece of property her family gave her
they had three children together
15 years married and they got along pretty good..no major arguing
she cooked and cleaned and he helped run my grandpa's trucking business


anyhow..this new secretary comes along
she is a single mom in her late 20's
my uncle was in his early 40's
she laughed at all his jokes
told him how attractive he was for an older man


and guess what?? it worked.
first he had an affair
then he divorced my aunt
then he bought property for this new woman
married her
built a huge log home on the hill for her
and took care of her daughter
while hardly seeing his own kids

[NotBigEnough206]

now you know as well as I do..he got a bad case of the BBD's



I have an uncle who married my aunt when I was a teenager
they built a home on a piece of property her family gave her
they had three children together
15 years married and they got along pretty good..no major arguing
she cooked and cleaned and he helped run my grandpa's trucking business


anyhow..this new secretary comes along
she is a single mom in her late 20's
my uncle was in his early 40's
she laughed at all his jokes
told him how attractive he was for an older man


and guess what?? it worked.
first he had an affair
then he divorced my aunt
then he bought property for this new woman
married her
built a huge log home on the hill for her
and took care of her daughter
while hardly seeing his own kids

it sucks, talking to my woman the other night she goes I cant beleive this, I hope I never go through this, and I thought I hope so too, I pray to god it never happens. Its one thing to go and smash some skank, come home tell the wife and ask for forgivness, but leaving the kids, pretty much kicking them out, that to me is completely different.

As wrong as it was, why couldnt he just have smashed this chick and forgotten about her.

[MoonAbove]

Here's what happens with affairs, much like long-distance relationships, virtual "dating", etc.

When you are in something like this, it's always the best parts of a relationship, and none of the bad. It's like one, giant, prolonged first date/honeymoon period. Everyone is on their best behavior ALL THE TIME. Because you don't see each frequently, everyone is always well-coiffed, dressed, cologned, shaven, perky, happy, sexy, funny, supportive, interested, interesting, etc. There is no reality involved in it. If you knew you would only see your lover once a week, you'd likely always show up with your A-game - full of romance, hot sex and fun...you wouldn't want to sully the precious time with anything negative or real, right? So, you're not dealing with the dishes in the sink, or seeing someone cranky, sick, pissed at their boss, wearing the same sweatpants all weekend, etc. You don't see how they handle life on a daily basis. It's candy land.

So, once the couple spends actual time and space together, things change, and they change quickly.

Your cousins husband, the total jackwagon, is about to find out a lot about this woman, and same with her. Things their affair never revealed. At a minimum, she will wake up one day and realize, "holy crap. I'm living with a guy who's a known cheater. I know how good he is at it. He's slick. I know all the ways he can lie and deceive. Um...why do I trust him? Oh, yeah, I don't." And, the unravel begins...

Not to mention, once he's living with her, and realizing she's not actually always well-coiffed, dressed, cologned, shaven, perky, happy, sexy, funny, supportive, interested and interesting, he's going to question why he made such a poor choice and gave up his family, and sure as shyt, he will be sniffing around your cousin to come home.

I hope she makes the right choice for her and her kids, and tells him to screw.

Meanwhile, attorney, locksmith, therapist (for her and the kids), and reaching out to her friends and family for support for herself and her kids.

I can't IMAGINE the rage, confusion and heartbreak.

The best thing you can do is what you're doing - being supportive, helping out with the kids, trying to provide some normalcy...most of all, the hard part will be to not let the kids know how much their Dad is loathed. Yes, we're adults, so we know he's scum, but to them, he's still Daddy, and at that age, that means he's still superman and can do no wrong. Kids are like cats - extremely sensitive to the smallest of changes in their environment. They thrive on routine. This is a huge abandonment (even though I am sure it is short-term, and he will want to see them soon enough), and that, to me, is the part that needs to be managed more than anything.

God bless.

[mrshester]

Here's what happens with affairs, much like long-distance relationships, virtual "dating", etc.

When you are in something like this, it's always the best parts of a relationship, and none of the bad. It's like one, giant, prolonged first date/honeymoon period. Everyone is on their best behavior ALL THE TIME. Because you don't see each frequently, everyone is always well-coiffed, dressed, cologned, shaven, perky, happy, sexy, funny, supportive, interested, interesting, etc. There is no reality involved in it. If you knew you would only see your lover once a week, you'd likely always show up with your A-game - full of romance, hot sex and fun...you wouldn't want to sully the precious time with anything negative or real, right? So, you're not dealing with the dishes in the sink, or seeing someone cranky, sick, pissed at their boss, wearing the same sweatpants all weekend, etc. You don't see how they handle life on a daily basis. It's candy land.

So, once the couple spends actual time and space together, things change, and they change quickly.

Your cousins husband, the total jackwagon, is about to find out a lot about this woman, and same with her. Things their affair never revealed. At a minimum, she will wake up one day and realize, "holy crap. I'm living with a guy who's a known cheater. I know how good he is at it. He's slick. I know all the ways he can lie and deceive. Um...why do I trust him? Oh, yeah, I don't." And, the unravel begins...

Not to mention, once he's living with her, and realizing she's not actually always well-coiffed, dressed, cologned, shaven, perky, happy, sexy, funny, supportive, interested and interesting, he's going to question why he made such a poor choice and gave up his family, and sure as shyt, he will be sniffing around your cousin to come home.

I hope she makes the right choice for her and her kids, and tells him to screw.

Meanwhile, attorney, locksmith, therapist (for her and the kids), and reaching out to her friends and family for support for herself and her kids.

I can't IMAGINE the rage, confusion and heartbreak.

The best thing you can do is what you're doing - being supportive, helping out with the kids, trying to provide some normalcy...most of all, the hard part will be to not let the kids know how much their Dad is loathed. Yes, we're adults, so we know he's scum, but to them, he's still Daddy, and at that age, that means he's still superman and can do no wrong. Kids are like cats - extremely sensitive to the smallest of changes in their environment. They thrive on routine. This is a huge abandonment (even though I am sure it is short-term, and he will want to see them soon enough), and that, to me, is the part that needs to be managed more than anything.

God bless.

So much this. And you might even suggest to your wife that her friend might want to see her gynecologist, just to be on the safe side. If he was sleeping with one woman behind her back, no telling how many other people either one of the guilty party we doing extra. My heart hurts so much for the children...I remember going through all that with my parents. I was old enough to understand what was going on and that it was better that they not stay together, but the littlest ones...they just can't understand sometimes

[MoonAbove]

So much this. And you might even suggest to your wife that her friend might want to see her gynecologist, just to be on the safe side. If he was sleeping with one woman behind her back, no telling how many other people either one of the guilty party we doing extra. My heart hurts so much for the children...I remember going through all that with my parents. I was old enough to understand what was going on and that it was better that they not stay together, but the littlest ones...they just can't understand sometimes

Yeah, totally great point. Sad it had to be made, though.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this as a child as well. Things like this really slay me. It's not a normal "divorce" situation. It's wrapped in a bow of betrayal, lies, and deceit, and that's what makes it so much more difficult.

[NotBigEnough206]

Moon great post, I know we are all human, no one is perfect. But not trying to toot my cousins horn, she was probably the closest to a perfect little wife there ever was. He was the one and only guy she was with. Smart, beautiful, educated, career and all.

And this guy took advantage of her, manipulated her for years, her parents, friends etc etc.

I always told my family I don't like the dude as he is a weasel with no character or balls, only talk.

I mean the dude was dying his hair, tanning, designer clothes, luggage etc etc while his kids wore clothes from Walmart.

1k watches, more shoes then a woman, and he comes back from a trip, tattooed her b day on his ribs, sleeps with his wife on Sunday and drops the bad news on her on Monday.

My mom asked me to talk to him and I said no, he will say something wrong and ill end up with my boot up his arse.

It's just all so wrong, he wants it to go without court and lawyers, keeps the house etc etc. Spent all the savings they had, pretty much kicking his family out.

I'm in disbelief, my uncle loved him more then his own son, again manipulated them all.

Told his wife it was all fake, he didn't care about her parents or anyone.

But alas, I can only do what I can, help and support. Keep telling her she should be talking with a lawyer, he will manipulate her out in to the street.

[Artemis00]

Moon great post, I know we are all human, no one is perfect. But not trying to toot my cousins horn, she was probably the closest to a perfect little wife there ever was. He was the one and only guy she was with. Smart, beautiful, educated, career and all.

And this guy took advantage of her, manipulated her for years, her parents, friends etc etc.

I always told my family I don't like the dude as he is a weasel with no character or balls, only talk.

I mean the dude was dying his hair, tanning, designer clothes, luggage etc etc while his kids wore clothes from Walmart.

1k watches, more shoes then a woman, and he comes back from a trip, tattooed her b day on his ribs, sleeps with his wife on Sunday and drops the bad news on her on Monday.

My mom asked me to talk to him and I said no, he will say something wrong and ill end up with my boot up his arse.

It's just all so wrong, he wants it to go without court and lawyers, keeps the house etc etc. Spent all the savings they had, pretty much kicking his family out.

I'm in disbelief, my uncle loved him more then his own son, again manipulated them all.

Told his wife it was all fake, he didn't care about her parents or anyone.

But alas, I can only do what I can, help and support. Keep telling her she should be talking with a lawyer, he will manipulate her out in to the street.

Some guys are scum. Fuarken hate guys that will use a person for years knowing full well they never really care about them. But in the long run, this azzhole probably doesn't have the capability to care for anything except himself. Narcissists need to be locked up and away from society.

[sthpadregrl]

NBE,

I'm so sorry your cousin is going through this. I was on the receiving end of pretty much this same scenario. I want to echo what people are saying here on some points....
1. definitely don't talk bad about the father in front of the kids.........all they need to know is that THEY are still loved, and that will never change......they WILL learn on their own in time the man that he is through his own actions. People told me this for years and it was so hard...........but my kids are teens now and know their father's true nature, and that they were not his priorities and they came to that conclusion on their own.
2. I absolutely was the wife that wanted so much to keep things simple, amicable, friendly and thought it would be best for the kids.....She needs to get a lawyer ASAP, and she needs to let the courts decide EVERYTHING. I wanted his approval even through the divorce and after, I wanted to be his friend.........he used me and didn't pay child support, and somewhere I convinced myself it was OK. If this husband of hers cheated and has spent money on his GF then his kids will never be his priority. Whether he eventually spends time with them or not she needs to use the legal system to "take everything that is rightfully the kids" take him for all he's got.....because his lifestyle and his GF's will always be first to him, not his children.
Don't make any agreements, don't try to be nice to him now......just let the courts decide.
good luck to your family through this. just love on the kids more and let them know, no matter how long it takes it will get better and you will always be there for them.

[latebloomingmom]

Here's what happens with affairs, much like long-distance relationships, virtual "dating", etc.

When you are in something like this, it's always the best parts of a relationship, and none of the bad. It's like one, giant, prolonged first date/honeymoon period. Everyone is on their best behavior ALL THE TIME. Because you don't see each frequently, everyone is always well-coiffed, dressed, cologned, shaven, perky, happy, sexy, funny, supportive, interested, interesting, etc. There is no reality involved in it. If you knew you would only see your lover once a week, you'd likely always show up with your A-game - full of romance, hot sex and fun...you wouldn't want to sully the precious time with anything negative or real, right? So, you're not dealing with the dishes in the sink, or seeing someone cranky, sick, pissed at their boss, wearing the same sweatpants all weekend, etc. You don't see how they handle life on a daily basis. It's candy land.

So, once the couple spends actual time and space together, things change, and they change quickly.

Your cousins husband, the total jackwagon, is about to find out a lot about this woman, and same with her. Things their affair never revealed. At a minimum, she will wake up one day and realize, "holy crap. I'm living with a guy who's a known cheater. I know how good he is at it. He's slick. I know all the ways he can lie and deceive. Um...why do I trust him? Oh, yeah, I don't." And, the unravel begins...

Not to mention, once he's living with her, and realizing she's not actually always well-coiffed, dressed, cologned, shaven, perky, happy, sexy, funny, supportive, interested and interesting, he's going to question why he made such a poor choice and gave up his family, and sure as shyt, he will be sniffing around your cousin to come home.

I hope she makes the right choice for her and her kids, and tells him to screw.

Meanwhile, attorney, locksmith, therapist (for her and the kids), and reaching out to her friends and family for support for herself and her kids.

I can't IMAGINE the rage, confusion and heartbreak.

The best thing you can do is what you're doing - being supportive, helping out with the kids, trying to provide some normalcy...most of all, the hard part will be to not let the kids know how much their Dad is loathed. Yes, we're adults, so we know he's scum, but to them, he's still Daddy, and at that age, that means he's still superman and can do no wrong. Kids are like cats - extremely sensitive to the smallest of changes in their environment. They thrive on routine. This is a huge abandonment (even though I am sure it is short-term, and he will want to see them soon enough), and that, to me, is the part that needs to be managed more than anything.

God bless.

well said!

[Michelle_Rose]

i see youre ready to help your cousin, but what about the rest of the family ? are they telling her to go back with him (i think you said so), to fight for her rights and her children, to get a lawyer ? and what about her parents, brothers and sisters, are they ready to support her no matter what ? she has close friends ? even if youre trying to do your best, she will need more support in that situation. fighting against your ex is really hard when youre alone and never did it before.

[NotBigEnough206]

i see youre ready to help your cousin, but what about the rest of the family ? are they telling her to go back with him (i think you said so), to fight for her rights and her children, to get a lawyer ? and what about her parents, brothers and sisters, are they ready to support her no matter what ? she has close friends ? even if youre trying to do your best, she will need more support in that situation. fighting against your ex is really hard when youre alone and never did it before.

Sorry for the late reply, her siblings are supporting her and helping her a lot, her parents are out of country now, on vacation and she does not want to let them kow and ruin their vacation.

Her parents loved the manipulating POS more then their own son.

[MiscLisa]

Moon great post, I know we are all human, no one is perfect. But not trying to toot my cousins horn, she was probably the closest to a perfect little wife there ever was. He was the one and only guy she was with. Smart, beautiful, educated, career and all.

And this guy took advantage of her, manipulated her for years, her parents, friends etc etc.

I always told my family I don't like the dude as he is a weasel with no character or balls, only talk.

I mean the dude was dying his hair, tanning, designer clothes, luggage etc etc while his kids wore clothes from Walmart.

1k watches, more shoes then a woman, and he comes back from a trip, tattooed her b day on his ribs, sleeps with his wife on Sunday and drops the bad news on her on Monday.

My mom asked me to talk to him and I said no, he will say something wrong and ill end up with my boot up his arse.

It's just all so wrong, he wants it to go without court and lawyers, keeps the house etc etc. Spent all the savings they had, pretty much kicking his family out.

I'm in disbelief, my uncle loved him more then his own son, again manipulated them all.

Told his wife it was all fake, he didn't care about her parents or anyone.

But alas, I can only do what I can, help and support. Keep telling her she should be talking with a lawyer, he will manipulate her out in to the street.

Whatever you do don't let her face him without a lawyer. There are lawyers out there that will do things pro bono. Even if she can't find one to help for free they will work out payment schedules. A few thousand dollars (yes can be pricey) up front can save a ton of money down the road. The guy sounds like a real piece of work. And will probably try and screw her out of assets, child support etc... He has already shown he can't take care of his family. She needs to make sure the court tells him he has to take care of them.

[meimonsta]

This is heartbreaking for me to read about...was once the kid in an ugly divorce. Things really get better though, I really believe that much