Some men hate on muscular women. What is your opinion?

[shesprints]

i've always wondered though why one's sense of 'healthy body image' is partly derived from putting others down. y'know 'she's so skinny [and tall . . . added out or self-interest ] but ME? I lift weights! i may not be skinny but i'm muscular and strong!' sort of thing.

that sorta implies they'd rather be 'thin' but since they're not, they use a coping mechanism (= 'strength' or what ever) to develop a sense of false (?) superiority. sour grapes and all that.

i mean, who gives a fuk if you're strong but not 'thin' except yourself really? why bring others into it?

That definitely seems to be true for some people who are into fitness/bodybuilding. Personally, I would NEVER insult or comment upon someone who is thin, and I admire many body types [well, I guess in this thread I happened to mention that I am not attracted to skinny men, but I still respect them if they are, for example, marathon runners; I just wouldn't date them?]. I obviously have a site of myself that would prefer to be skinny--heck, I was anorexic for awhile though my body frame never appeared waifish because it's just not how my bones are constructed (I.e. I still had wide shoulders and hips at 85 lbs).

However, as I have grown up I have come to believe that everyone may be admirable for what they do with the body structure they were given... that's why I enjoy bodybuilding. Muscle development doesn't really depend just on genetics. It's what you do with your genetics that fascinates me.

[illiniStrive]

euh, methinks you contradict yourself a slight bit:



not getting into whether things are 100% and such.

there's plenty 'thin-hate' on this board as well. you hate what you can't get apparently.

i've always wondered though why one's sense of 'healthy body image' is partly derived from putting others down. y'know 'she's so skinny [and tall . . . added out or self-interest ] but ME? I lift weights! i may not be skinny but i'm muscular and strong!' sort of thing.

that sorta implies they'd rather be 'thin' but since they're not, they use a coping mechanism (= 'strength' or what ever) to develop a sense of false (?) superiority. sour grapes and all that.

i mean, who gives a fuk if you're strong but not 'thin' except yourself really? why bring others into it?

again, i never denied the existence hating on thin women, in fact the whole point of my posts has been to differentiate (but also relate) thin-shaming and fat-shaming. feel free to scour my previous posts. but just because thin women get comments too doesn't mean the culture overall shames thin women. thin bodies are not systematically "hated on" for lack of a better phrase. women's bodies are, however, which is again why in each posts i've tried to incorporate the parallels and overlaps that come with being a woman with a body in general. saying thin women can't possibly feel any insecurity due to being thin is an erasure of their experiences as women within a society who thinks any comment positive or negative about a woman's body is warranted and appropriate.

but it's true that thin women can at least find some sort validation in a magazine that represents their body type; i don't think that's contradictory to say in conjunction with pointing out that thin women aren't necessarily happy about their body. but poor self image within a culture that implicitly (and explicitly to say the truth) praises your body type is still different from poor self image within a culture that also denigrates people who look like you on a daily basis.

and i do want to repeat that none of the shaming is okay. it's just different to be shamed or hated on as someone being within what society considers an acceptable body size range, versus not

(tbh i haven't thought too much about where the whole muscular bit comes into it, despite that being the original topic of this thread; it varies wildly i suppose since it's entirely possible to be a muscular size 0-6 or a muscular size 16 depending on how much actual body fat goes along with it)

but the problems you mention with thin shaming on these boards is one of the reasons why i have adjusted my posting style a bit over the past few years (or at least have been trying too, hopefully nothing has slipped the cracks lately). one of the ways of encouraging people to bulk on these forums is to talk about how thin and emaciated they look... well, is that really necessary? or if a poster thinks they're hot **** it's common to call out their stats (LOL 5'9 XXX pounds!) as a way of shutting them up. well that's body shaming too and people should quit it.

[illiniStrive]

A mans natural instinct is to protect his woman. Just as women generally bad mouth small guys as unattractive the same goes for muscular women because both qualities arent generally seen as attractive traits due to the fact they are complete opposites of what both sexes tend to look for. A guy wants a women who he can protect etc. Just as a women wants a guy who is taller than them.

and yet couples where the man is shorter than the woman continue to form all the time!

curiouser and curiouser

[rdferguson]

you do realize that all of these things can happen in tandem with seeing one's body represented as well, right? nowhere has anybody in this thread said that thin women don't have self-esteem issues, or that seeing oneself represented means this representation is 100% positive. quite the contrary. nobody is saying that thin women have cornered the market on a healthy body image.

but thin women are more positively represented than fat women in western culture full stop. thin women get to be anything from love interests to crimestoppers in movies and on television; fat women are most often reduced to the funny fat friend or the ugly "before" prior to a revolutionary "after" in which the character is thin and pretty. even most women's fitness magazines most often use models who are thin versus models who have a bit more on their frame. whether you think this is wrong or the way things should be doesn't change the fact that it's how things are.

there are dimensions to this and again, nobody is saying (or should be saying) that a culture that promotes thinness means all thin people are happy. this is why i added my final paragraph regarding how women's bodies in general are scrutinized and for the most part society thinks that's okay. what you're talking about is the implication of living in such a society; but what I'm talking about and you're talking about are not mutually exclusive. they are happening all at the same time.

chris rock explains this much more humorously and probably better than i can

I hear what you're saying here, and agree. It's just the way you originally phrased it, it sounded like you were saying that if a thin girl turns to the media, the high representation of thin girls would tell her that she's valuable and acceptable for also being skinny, which I strongly disagree with.

[MeFromG]

because we don't live in a thin-hating culture, we live in a fatphobic one. meaning hate on fat people gets the reinforcement from all types of prevalent media. meanwhile thin people only have to look in a magazine to find reinforcement that they are worthy individuals (since invariably body size gets linked to human worthiness). so fat-shaming is seen as unnecessarily cruel, while thin-shaming is just unfortunate.

we also live in a culture where a woman's body is open season as far as all kinds of comments and remarks. so comments against both thin women and fat women are tied up in a neat little misogynist knot. it shouldn't be and it's not okay to hate on anyone's body. but for some reason it's alright to tell a thin woman to "eat a sandwich" or a fat woman to "go hop on a treadmill," but the second you point out a dude's belly pudge suddenly you're a bitch with high standards

Exactly.

[MeFromG]

Quote Originally Posted by theluckylad View Post
"A mans natural instinct is to protect his woman. Just as women generally bad mouth small guys as unattractive the same goes for muscular women because both qualities arent generally seen as attractive traits due to the fact they are complete opposites of what both sexes tend to look for. A guy wants a women who he can protect etc. Just as a women wants a guy who is taller than them."


and yet couples where the man is shorter than the woman continue to form all the time!

curiouser and curiouser

I'd even say these are spreaded constructs of society, things everybody should believe in in spite of listening to their own voice; meaning e.g. women have to be weak (in spirit and body) and guys protective (controlling them). Women have been powerful and protected themselves very often on their own. In ancient times they contributed to the survival of the whole family by providing ca. 80% of the daily food, they went for hunting too and collected plenty of food.
Him being taller or being protective otherwise unattractive, her being weak, thin, soft otherwise unattractive - this are artificial constructs of people, the wish for it it's not "genetically" put into them - there are just artificial thoughts / standards made by society .

And btw. what many don't consider or ignore - there were female forms first (gee, how they could survive without "protection"...), later male formes developed out of the female ones. Females were / existed first and males came later. Males are female forms that lost a bunch of DNA in the process so that they could develope to this new, helping, supportive form, meaning mixing the DNA more properly while females procreated.

[Miranda]

tbh i haven't thought too much about where the whole muscular bit comes into it, despite that being the original topic of this thread; it varies wildly i suppose since it's entirely possible to be a muscular size 0-6 or a muscular size 16 depending on how much actual body fat goes along with it.

but the problems you mention with thin shaming on these boards is one of the reasons why i have adjusted my posting style a bit over the past few years (or at least have been trying too, hopefully nothing has slipped the cracks lately). one of the ways of encouraging people to bulk on these forums is to talk about how thin and emaciated they look... well, is that really necessary? or if a poster thinks they're hot **** it's common to call out their stats (LOL 5'9 XXX pounds!) as a way of shutting them up. well that's body shaming too and people should quit it.

ya that was what i was getting at. strength or muscularity doesn't absolutely correlate with body size or proportions. it does sometimes . . . but not always. it irks me when people gloat about how strong they are to 'someone who's skinny and [therefore must be] weak'.

imo it's projecting your own deep lying [body] dissatisfaction onto a generalised/imagined person. it doesn't matter whether that person (or group) is fat/weak/thin/muscular/tall and so forth.

it's slightly related to when women do their damnedest to sht on aerobic exercise on this board. who cares? i suppose it's to build a badass weightlifting chick image lest someone think they are the lowest of the low on the fitness ladder . . . a cardio queen

a lot of these 'women with muscle' threads are quite funny anyway. not many women who resistance train are so muscular as to stand out in public fully clothed. i don't see where the problem lies, really.

yeah, you may not look 'thin' but there are more options in the shove-yourself-in box than 'thin', 'fat' or 'muscular'. sort of like 'normal'. just a normal-looking woman who thinks she's the shiz because she lifts weights and then puts them down again.

[AgentLemon]

The only hate I see muscular women get is from some overweight people and really scrawny or insecure dudes. Personally, I admire muscular woman, there are a few that are really muscular with low BF(maybe at or under 10) that I don't find attractive but overall I have respect for how hard they work like I would have for anyone in good/great shape..

[Ralikar]

Because modern women lump men into some homogenous clump and hyper-react to anything done by any man these days. If they get a compliment they race here and compain that they got called 'toned' when they wanted to be called "muscular" (real post). If one guy hates on a woman for anything then it's all guys hating on them. Because women alternate between seeking men's approval while pretending they don't care or man bashing the crap out of them as some way to empower themselves. Because fit and (often) thereby attractive women are pampered by the world 24/7 and for the 19 guys/day that fawn over them and are kind, get mad at something guy #20 said for whatever reason.

Actually being empowered comes from treating people as individuals and not some anti-woman collective mass out to destroy you.

[reiffenstein]

I see a LOT of threads/posts on here by men saying they don't like it when women are too muscular or too "ripped" and they prefer a higher body fat. However, ever since I put on some mass then leaned out for this competition the men have come out of the woodwork and are approaching me like crazy. Both men from my gym and random guys in the store are suddenly "interested" in me and my life. Interesting. Some men might find muscle unattractive but not the ones I've run in to... apparently.

When you're muscular and cut your face is typically toned and the cheek bones stand out more. Maybe that's why u are being approached by alot of men. Because they find your beauty attractive. Look at Paige Hathaway, she's ripped as fuk but no man would turn down that face of hers. hnnnnnnnggg

[Mumra]

attractive is just attractive. frankly I've given up on having a "type" or figure I like. a little on the thick side or ripped and lean. doesn't really matter, I don't care. I can't really explain it either. like there should be a common factor that I find universally appealing but the girls I've been with over recent years are all so different.

whatever. I give up. lol

[shesprints]

Because modern women lump men into some homogenous clump and hyper-react to anything done by any man these days. If they get a compliment they race here and compain that they got called 'toned' when they wanted to be called "muscular" (real post). If one guy hates on a woman for anything then it's all guys hating on them. Because women alternate between seeking men's approval while pretending they don't care or man bashing the crap out of them as some way to empower themselves. Because fit and (often) thereby attractive women are pampered by the world 24/7 and for the 19 guys/day that fawn over them and are kind, get mad at something guy #20 said for whatever reason.

Actually being empowered comes from treating people as individuals and not some anti-woman collective mass out to destroy you.

Because modern men lump women into some homogenous clump and hyper-react to anything done by any woman these days. If they get laid they race here and complain that she must be a sloot when they wanted someone who was magically both virginal and easy. If one woman hates on a man for anything then it's all women hating on them ("sloots gonna sloot!"). Because men alternate between seeking women's approval ("hey bby wanna fuk?") while pretending they don't care what women think of them or woman bashing the crap out of them ("u fukking sloot") as some way to empower themselves. Because fit and (often) thereby attractive men are treated with respect by the world 24/7 and for the 19 women/day that give them the once-over and are kind, insult women # 20 for being fat/slooty/unladylike/not returning texts/not having sex for whatever reason.

Actually being empowered comes from treating people as individuals and not some anti-man collective mass out to destroy you.

[sy2502]

Because modern women lump men into some homogenous clump and hyper-react to anything done by any man these days. If they get a compliment they race here and compain that they got called 'toned' when they wanted to be called "muscular" (real post). If one guy hates on a woman for anything then it's all guys hating on them. Because women alternate between seeking men's approval while pretending they don't care or man bashing the crap out of them as some way to empower themselves. Because fit and (often) thereby attractive women are pampered by the world 24/7 and for the 19 guys/day that fawn over them and are kind, get mad at something guy #20 said for whatever reason.

Actually being empowered comes from treating people as individuals and not some anti-woman collective mass out to destroy you.

I'm going for a wild guess here but... you don't get laid much do you?

[MsDigital]

I think I'm pretty muscular for a woman and have never had guys tell me it's bad or whatever and my bf loves it on me.

[m0ckingjay]

Everything is just personal perception and preferences. You will never find something that everyone feels the EXACT same about. People's opinions will differ, but I do agree, I hate when people give their unasked for opinion about something when their unasked for opinion is negative and critical. I suppose we just have to do what we want and know that at least we're good enough for ourselves. You can't/won't please everyone.

[TinyStarUK]

is it just me or does it seem more socially acceptable to "hate on" women for being thin/fit/muscular while making a comment about a girl being over weight is looked upon with disgust?

I have twice last week been told I was "too thin" by women who frankly are not at a healthy weight and one I know for a fact is trying to lose weight. The difference between me and them is body confidence, I have it and thus wouldn't ever feel any need to try and tell somebody I have negative opinion of their body, they however do not and thus feel a little bit better about the vast difference between their bodies and mine if they can try to affirm that mine is too thin anyway. They're just trying to justify moving the goal posts a little closer by putting me down. I find it quite amusing but it is true that they'd never tell somebody bigger than them that they're a bit fat would they? No but it's somehow completely acceptable to tell somebody that's slim and fit, that they're too thin. It's quite ridiculous but it says more about them than me.

[Donnellb41]

I would prefer a chick that's fit/muscular. I think it's hot.

[RearDeltoids]

i don't hate on muscular women, i just dont find them attractive. i actually don't think there is any reason for straight men to hate on muscular women

[SI1993]

My partner and I have been tracking our progress and in my opinion neither one of us look like the Hulk. I wanted to get everyone's perception on why some men talk s**t on women with muscle definition.

Some men do hate muscular women which is wrong. However I see similar hatred from some women on short guys as well. People will hate you in general, some will get hated more than others. That's just life

[Mumra]

where are these women? because they're not at any of my gyms lol

[pinkstarfish]

Some men **** talk women with muscles, and will not date a woman who is muscular, because they are insecure. Psychologists have found that some men who are insecure about their own body and personal attributes want a body in a partner that reflects their own teenage body. These same men not only go for non-athletic looking women, but women with less curves as well. This is the body they've had the most experience with and feel the safest around. Yep, really.

[theluckylad]

Some men **** talk women with muscles, and will not date a woman who is muscular, because they are insecure. Psychologists have found that some men who are insecure about their own body and personal attributes want a body in a partner that reflects their own teenage body. These same men not only go for non-athletic looking women, but women with less curves as well. This is the body they've had the most experience with and feel the safest around. Yep, really.

considering the vast majority of women are insecure about their own bodies aswell. Why would that logic only apply to men?

[sy2502]

considering the vast majority of women are insecure about their own bodies aswell. Why would that logic only apply to men?

It applies to both. Insecure women will probably go for the "big bad guy" because they feel he can defend them or look after them. Insecure guys go for the weak looking woman so they feel big and bad compared to her. There's insecurity on both sides, they just express it differently.

[pinkstarfish]

considering the vast majority of women are insecure about their own bodies aswell. Why would that logic only apply to men?

Because this thread was asking why men hate on muscular women.

[davebrown223]

Some men **** talk women with muscles, and will not date a woman who is muscular, because they are insecure. Psychologists have found that some men who are insecure about their own body and personal attributes want a body in a partner that reflects their own teenage body. These same men not only go for non-athletic looking women, but women with less curves as well. This is the body they've had the most experience with and feel the safest around. Yep, really.

Well ... I'm pretty damn skinny and I find fit/muscular women really attractive. I admire a great physique and would like to have one myself ... seems perfectly consistent to me?

Being attracted to fitness and health makes perfect sense .... why in the world would anyone be attracted to skinny and weak. THAT would be the odd part.

What's going on with men who don't like fit women is almost certainly insecurities. I'm pretty comfortable with myself ... I am what I am ... so why sweat it.

Having said that ... fit women at the gym ARE a bit intimidating in the same way drop dead gorgeous women are intimidating. (God save me from drop dead gorgeous women with a bit of muscle ... I'll pass out). It's the exact same emotion/mentality at work IMO.

I've posted elsewhere on bb.com about whether to utilize a female trainer ... seems to be a lot of them at my gym and would make sense and I think I would enjoy it more (LOL) but I think it might be awkward if the trainer is THAT much in better shape than me ... just distracting for her I think.

Like it or not the traditional gender roles are ingrained in most of us. She will think I'm a wimp ... I'll think she's thinking I'm a wimp ... etc etc

[pinkstarfish]

Well ... I'm pretty damn skinny and I find fit/muscular women really attractive. I admire a great physique and would like to have one myself ... seems perfectly consistent to me?

Being attracted to fitness and health makes perfect sense .... why in the world would anyone be attracted to skinny and weak. THAT would be the odd part.

What's going on with men who don't like fit women is almost certainly insecurities. I'm pretty comfortable with myself ... I am what I am ... so why sweat it.

Having said that ... fit women at the gym ARE a bit intimidating in the same way drop dead gorgeous women are intimidating. (God save me from drop dead gorgeous women with a bit of muscle ... I'll pass out). It's the exact same emotion/mentality at work IMO.

I've posted elsewhere on bb.com about whether to utilize a female trainer ... seems to be a lot of them at my gym and would make sense and I think I would enjoy it more (LOL) but I think it might be awkward if the trainer is THAT much in better shape than me ... just distracting for her I think.

Like it or not the traditional gender roles are ingrained in most of us. She will think I'm a wimp ... I'll think she's thinking I'm a wimp ... etc etc

I date a skinny guy who I am VERY attracted to. He has a giant brain that I can't get enough of. :P

[davebrown223]

I date a skinny guy who I am VERY attracted to. He has a giant brain that I can't get enough of. :P

not to get way too deep into this topic .... but it makes a huge difference if you ask someone vs showing them.

If I asked my friends if they like "muscular" women ... 75% would say NO reflexively. But if we saw a girl with tanned muscular legs jog by the same guys would make no bones drooling over her. Its the reference to the word "muscle" that elicits the knee-jerk response.

Makes me think of the seinfeld episode where elaine is describing a guy from the gym to jerry and george. She says hes the "really good lucking guy" and they refuse to acknowledge her description even though they both know who shes talking about ... and she says "you know, George, simply acknowledging that a man is attractive doesnt NECESSARILY make you a homosexual." And he says "it doesnt help."

Thats like this ... guys dont want to go anywhere near that because if they yes theres the possibility it will be thought they like women with 20 inch arms and mustaches ...

[davebrown223]

I date a skinny guy who I am VERY attracted to. He has a giant brain that I can't get enough of. :P

btw ... are you actually more muscular than your boyfriend or is he just skinny ... lucky SOB

[fihe]

I wouldn't want to be as muscular as many fitness models are, but I admire them for having the discipline to maintain such a strict diet and workout routine! I don't think I could do that.

[Igmann]

We all have personal preferences, but in general when people feel the need to get out of their way to hate on somebody, it has something to do with their personal lack of self esteem.

This sounds right...

Any man who goes out of his way to hate something or someone has some kind of personal issues and anger that he's trying to cope with.

I don't find overweight women attractive but I don't hate them. It must take a lot of effort to hate someone who hasn't done you any harm.

Naturally muscular women are attractive. The ones that take drugs and look like they're morphing into Jay Cutler do not look attractive but if that's what makes them happy, then more power to them.

Because mid 20s, sexually frustrated misc virgins lump women into some homogenous clump and hyper-react to anything done by any woman these days. If they get laid they race here and complain that she must be a sloot when they wanted someone who was magically both virginal and easy. If one woman hates on a man for anything then it's all women hating on them ("sloots gonna sloot!").

You see there, I fixed it for you.