Some men hate on muscular women. What is your opinion?

[nurishka89]

My partner and I have been tracking our progress and in my opinion neither one of us look like the Hulk. I wanted to get everyone's perception on why some men talk s**t on women with muscle definition.

[sonti]

I don't see why it matters. Everyone has physical preferences. To each their own. It's not like these women come up to them at bars and hand over their number, so I don't see why they care either LOL

[MoonAbove]

I find that for *some* guys who never touch weights, they're just not attracted to muscular women.

I've had men tell me I was too buff, but that's from guys whom I could bench. lol

So, consider it just a personal preference or being threatened. Either way, luckily most of the men we encounter are in the weight room.

[CajunSpecial]

Some men also hate on fat women, some men hate on stick thin women, some men hate on.................

[XXbrittXX]

I'd say its a preference, some men may be jealous, some may be jealous because their wives are out of shape.... Who knows,, my fiancé always says I have no boobs and I look like a dude but hey I'm happy and I know he's secretly happy when people comment on how ripped I am.

[stephanielynn76]

I see a LOT of threads/posts on here by men saying they don't like it when women are too muscular or too "ripped" and they prefer a higher body fat. However, ever since I put on some mass then leaned out for this competition the men have come out of the woodwork and are approaching me like crazy. Both men from my gym and random guys in the store are suddenly "interested" in me and my life. Interesting. Some men might find muscle unattractive but not the ones I've run in to... apparently.

[IsItReally]

Who cares what they think, they're always going to be whinging about something.

[TheAmazingCMFT]

there alot of factors that go into it. A fit woman with muscles is attractive to me, but a woman winning bodybuilding comps generally doesnt have the physique i find appealing

[schnauzers]

I don't see why it matters. Everyone has physical preferences. To each their own. It's not like these women come up to them at bars and hand over their number, so I don't see why they care either LOL

Some men also hate on fat women, some men hate on stick thin women, some men hate on.................

Exactly. Men love and hate every body type/size. Same goes for women. You can't paint everyone with the same brush. Everyone is free to chase after what they find attractive and leave the rest alone.

[bigblackasian]

My partner and I have been tracking our progress and in my opinion neither one of us look like the Hulk. I wanted to get everyone's perception on why some men talk s**t on women with muscle definition.

Well I lift and I'm not a scrawny **** at almost 210. But the thought of a girl with a rock hard butt is gross. I prefer a softer feel

[angelickitty]

Who cares? I personally would never get muscular, I just want to be lean. But that's me. I am doing this for me, not for anyone else. You can't please everyone, you can only please yourself. Forget what others say, what's it to you? and What's it to them? Remember, what others think of you is none of your business.

[meimonsta]

I would love to be considered muscular so that's what I'm working towards. I'll worry about men later, but something tells me I wouldn't have much to worry about. If you are confident and you love your body and your life, others will likely find that attractive!

Edit: to answer OP's question more directly, idk, insecurity? It's somewhat different, uncommon, and unfamilliar? Probably a combination of both.

[Mumra]

I find that for *some* guys who never touch weights, they're just not attracted to muscular women.

I've had men tell me I was too buff, but that's from guys whom I could bench. lol

So, consider it just a personal preference or being threatened. Either way, luckily most of the men we encounter are in the weight room.

pretty much. I think most guys that claim to be repulsed or whatever by a girl with some muscle on her are out of shape/weak themselves. it's an insecurity thing.

Some men also hate on fat women, some men hate on stick thin women, some men hate on.................

of course but the issue here is why not what.


is it just me or does it seem more socially acceptable to "hate on" women for being thin/fit/muscular while making a comment about a girl being over weight is looked upon with disgust?

[xsx4u]

Having some muscle is definitely good. It's the matter of finding a balance. Being skinny is not good and also being crazy muscular is not that great too. I love woman who have good muscle definition, just don't overdo.

Guess some guys might feel insecure because a girl has better muscle def than they do...

[illiniStrive]

is it just me or does it seem more socially acceptable to "hate on" women for being thin/fit/muscular while making a comment about a girl being over weight is looked upon with disgust?

because we don't live in a thin-hating culture, we live in a fatphobic one. meaning hate on fat people gets the reinforcement from all types of prevalent media. meanwhile thin people only have to look in a magazine to find reinforcement that they are worthy individuals (since invariably body size gets linked to human worthiness). so fat-shaming is seen as unnecessarily cruel, while thin-shaming is just unfortunate.

we also live in a culture where a woman's body is open season as far as all kinds of comments and remarks. so comments against both thin women and fat women are tied up in a neat little misogynist knot. it shouldn't be and it's not okay to hate on anyone's body. but for some reason it's alright to tell a thin woman to "eat a sandwich" or a fat woman to "go hop on a treadmill," but the second you point out a dude's belly pudge suddenly you're a bitch with high standards

[IsItReally]

it shouldn't be and it's not okay to hate on anyone's body. but for some reason it's alright to tell a thin woman to "eat a sandwich" or a fat woman to "go hop on a treadmill," but the second you point out a dude's belly pudge suddenly you're a bitch with high standards

Truth.

[Mumra]

I'm not saying it's "ok". just that if someone makes a comment like, "she needs to eat a sandwich" and nobody blinks. but a comment about being over weight is met anger. not me, I keep my mouth shut b/c I get picked on for the way I look all the time and like the thin girl it's socially acceptable. in fact many times a bandwagon pulls up out of nowhere.

[illiniStrive]

I'm not saying it's "ok". just that if someone makes a comment like, "she needs to eat a sandwich" and nobody blinks. but a comment about being over weight is met anger. not me, I keep my mouth shut b/c I get picked on for the way I look all the time and like the thin girl it's socially acceptable. in fact many times a bandwagon pulls up out of nowhere.

i address this in the first half of my post

[shesprints]

because we don't live in a thin-hating culture, we live in a fatphobic one. meaning hate on fat people gets the reinforcement from all types of prevalent media. meanwhile thin people only have to look in a magazine to find reinforcement that they are worthy individuals (since invariably body size gets linked to human worthiness).

we also live in a culture where a woman's body is open season as far as all kinds of comments and remarks. so comments against both thin women and fat women are tied up in a neat little misogynist knot. it shouldn't be and it's not okay to hate on anyone's body. but for some reason it's alright to tell a thin woman to "eat a sandwich" or a fat woman to "go hop on a treadmill," but the second you point out a dude's belly pudge suddenly you're a bitch with high standards

Good points. I think the whole idea is that people who are overweight already get a lot of grief, so insulting their bodies is kind of adding insult to injury; our whole culture is geared toward fat jokes. BTW, I don't agree that this isn't true for men. I know so many guys who struggle with body image and feel they have to put on a brave front. I mean, there are some women who act very proud of being overweight, you know, declaring that they are 'real women'; men sorta do the same thing with 'well, I'm just extra-manly and LARGE'--it's actually very similar. And if some of them are sincere, all power to them. But often it's a coping mechanism.

In terms of getting grief for being fit... well, let's face it, being lean is perceived as 'better.' So teasing someone for it relies on the presumption that you're just taking a little dig at someone already in a position of power: the assumption is you're not going to hurt them that much.

Of course there are men who dislike women who are muscular; heck, there are women who dislike muscular men! (I don't get this). (But then I don't find skinny men attractive). Not finding someone attractive =/= actively insulting them, though. That is a different dynamic entirely.

[sy2502]

My partner and I have been tracking our progress and in my opinion neither one of us look like the Hulk. I wanted to get everyone's perception on why some men talk s**t on women with muscle definition.

We all have personal preferences, but in general when people feel the need to get out of their way to hate on somebody, it has something to do with their personal lack of self esteem.

[Lauren1987]

It's just downright rude if someone went out of their way to comment. Everyone has their preferences, whether it's muscles, fat, hair or height! (and that's the short list!). If a woman is super muscled, lean and competition fit, good for her and well done to her for getting into that condition. If she's happy that's great. Likewise for the men

[LHarwood]

We all have personal preferences, but in general when people feel the need to get out of their way to hate on somebody, it has something to do with their personal lack of self esteem.

This ^^

We all like and dislike different things. Those that constantly hate on others clearly have issues with themself and I pitty them people.

My husband claimed to dislike muscular women..til I started looking more muscular. He's seen who my inspiration is and he thinks I'd look great if I trained/dieted for a physique like hers (not that he doesn't like me now) and he's now really supportive. He's always been supportive of my goals but was a little worried about how I was gonna turn out (which is understandable) but once I showed him my inspo he understood my goals much better.

I must admit, it would be harder if my hub wasn't as supportive but for those that are insignificant in your life, dont let them bother you.

for those that are- they should accept you for who YOU are and what YOU want to look like.

[Hannah82]

My opinion is they can avert their eyes or go fk themselves

[Mumra]

This ^^

We all like and dislike different things. Those that constantly hate on others clearly have issues with themself and I pitty them people.

My husband claimed to dislike muscular women..til I started looking more muscular. He's seen who my inspiration is and he thinks I'd look great if I trained/dieted for a physique like hers (not that he doesn't like me now) and he's now really supportive. He's always been supportive of my goals but was a little worried about how I was gonna turn out (which is understandable) but once I showed him my inspo he understood my goals much better.

I must admit, it would be harder if my hub wasn't as supportive but for those that are insignificant in your life, dont let them bother you.

for those that are- they should accept you for who YOU are and what YOU want to look like.

that's good.

since I've changed I've gotten about the opposite. girls I've been with will constantly tell me to stop training so much etc but they like the way I look and when I show them old pics they often admit that they wouldn't look at me twice if I still looked like that.

those are the breaks I guess.

[dmlcs]

Actually, Don't think anyone especially the ladies should be concern about it. All that matters is you did no harm to anyone and especially yourself.

You lead a strong healthy life both in mind and body.

Why let their lack of open-mindedness/maturity affect or even dictate how you should be or live?

There's still a lot of men out there that like strong women.

When you find or know someone who really appreciates you, you know you appreciate them just as much if not more...period.

[rdferguson]

because we don't live in a thin-hating culture, we live in a fatphobic one. meaning hate on fat people gets the reinforcement from all types of prevalent media. meanwhile thin people only have to look in a magazine to find reinforcement that they are worthy individuals (since invariably body size gets linked to human worthiness). so fat-shaming is seen as unnecessarily cruel, while thin-shaming is just unfortunate.

we also live in a culture where a woman's body is open season as far as all kinds of comments and remarks. so comments against both thin women and fat women are tied up in a neat little misogynist knot. it shouldn't be and it's not okay to hate on anyone's body. but for some reason it's alright to tell a thin woman to "eat a sandwich" or a fat woman to "go hop on a treadmill," but the second you point out a dude's belly pudge suddenly you're a bitch with high standards

A thin girl doesn't open up a magazine and find edification, she opens up a magazine and is told that she's not pretty enough, she's not thin enough, she's not fancy enough, she's not sexy enough...and if she just makes herself a little bit more [insert adjective here], then she can enjoy being confident and socially acceptable, yet somehow that little bit more is never enough, and there's always one little bit more to go: there's an infinite distance between 99 and 100. The promise of a prize is presented just outside of arm's reach, and yet no matter how much she grasps at it and clings to it, no matter what she does to grab hold of it, no matter how many steps she takes to get close enough, it's unobtainable. Of course, we all buy into the belief that it is obtainable and that thin girls everywhere have obtained it, which I think is why we typically think that's okay to shame these girls.

On topic, what is the marketing strategy for 90% of the fitness industry? Is it that fitness will make you strong and physically functional? Is it that fitness will enhance your abilities for sport? Is it that fitness will make you live longer and reduce the risk of chronic, terminal illness? Is it that fitness will give you more freedom and independence? Is it that achieving PB's will give you a sense of accomplishment, and that the endorphins released while training will make you feel good? Is it that fitness will help you sleep and give you more vitality? Or is it that you should go to the gym and drink protein shakes in order to look sexy and attract as many potential spouses as possible? I think 90% of fitness industry marketing is that last part. And how many people actually go to the gym for primarily aesthetic/cosmetic reasons? If your hair still has colour in it, there's a very high chance that that's all you're there for (I was about to say that this isn't necessarily the case here, but then I remembered that this is a bodybuilding forum, where most people do train for aesthetic purposes, even if their aesthetic ideals are not always consistent with society's aesthetic ideals). So, if most people assume that training is for aesthetics, and if most people assume that everyone has the same aesthetic goals as each other (which is generally true, although there are a large minority of exceptions), then from their generalised POV, if you're more muscular than is conventionally desired in a woman, you're doing it wrong. "Silly bodybuilders, don't you know that you're giving me a DErection? I know your goal is for me to fall in love with you upon first glance, so why are you making yourself not fit my standards of beauty?" Seriously, most people think that working out is all about making other people want to have secks with you. The fact that most threads and articles about women lifting pander to the imagined target audience's fear of not being conventionally attractive anymore demonstrates that at some level even we think like this, and if we think like this, how can we expect others to think differently?

To those who are saying that because it's often guys who don't lift who don't find women who do lift attractive, these guys must be insecure... Insecurity may be a factor, but I think it's more a matter of conditioning. Sexual attraction is very socially conditioned. When I was 17, I thought Adriana Lima and Miranda Kerr were the sexiest, most beautiful women on the planet, and I thought Jamie Eason was huge, buff and looked like a man with make-up and tissues in his bra. I don't think that was me being insecure and intimidated by Jamie Eason, it's just that I wasn't used to seeing many guys more muscular than her, and I was used to seeing girls less muscular than her, and they were always presented as the standard of beauty. That's not to say that my standards of beauty were ever perfectly aligned with the standards of beauty of the guy sitting next to me -- there's always some nuance. Now I find Adriana Lima and Miranda Kerr attractive mostly just from the boobs up. Significant upper body muscle mass on a woman doesn't do much for me, and past a certain point (a point which can be achieved quite naturally) it becomes more of a visual deterrent than lure, but a woman would certainly have to try if she wanted more lower body muscle mass than I find attractive. This, too, is conditioning, from years of engagement in strength communities. I don't think I'm intimidated by more muscular females (although I'm yet to meet any females who are more muscular than I currently am), however there is definitely a grey area in which more muscle stops being more attractive, and a point at which more muscle rapidly becomes less attractive to me. Then again, I don't hate on muscular women (beyond the level of muscularity that I like), I just don't say anything (this wasn't always the case -- I admit, I have been a piece of skubala on many occasions, including on these forums). If I find you attractive and want you to know that I find you attractive, I'll let you know. If I don't find you attractive...well, I don't go out of my way to inform guys that I'm not attracted to them, so why go out of my way to inform women that I'm not attracted to them? I can think of very few circumstances in which that would be a beneficial, productive use of my vocabulary. If I were in a relationship, there's only one person who I'd care about being attractive to, and if someone who I'm not in a relationship with is not going out of her way to personally be as attractive as possible to me, then obviously me finding her attractive is not high on her agenda, so what reason do I have to waste time and energy thinking about how much I don't find her attractive, letting her know that I'm not attracted to her, or judging her for not being attractive to me?

[illiniStrive]

A thin girl doesn't open up a magazine and find edification, she opens up a magazine and is told that she's not pretty enough, she's not thin enough, she's not fancy enough, she's not sexy enough...and if she just makes herself a little bit more [insert adjective here], then she can enjoy being confident and socially acceptable, yet somehow that little bit more is never enough, and there's always one little bit more to go: there's an infinite distance between 99 and 100. The promise of a prize is presented just outside of arm's reach, and yet no matter how much she grasps at it and clings to it, no matter what she does to grab hold of it, no matter how many steps she takes to get close enough, it's unobtainable. Of course, we all buy into the belief that it is obtainable and that thin girls everywhere have obtained it, which I think is why we typically think that's okay to shame these girls.

you do realize that all of these things can happen in tandem with seeing one's body represented as well, right? nowhere has anybody in this thread said that thin women don't have self-esteem issues, or that seeing oneself represented means this representation is 100% positive. quite the contrary. nobody is saying that thin women have cornered the market on a healthy body image.

but thin women are more positively represented than fat women in western culture full stop. thin women get to be anything from love interests to crimestoppers in movies and on television; fat women are most often reduced to the funny fat friend or the ugly "before" prior to a revolutionary "after" in which the character is thin and pretty. even most women's fitness magazines most often use models who are thin versus models who have a bit more on their frame. whether you think this is wrong or the way things should be doesn't change the fact that it's how things are.

there are dimensions to this and again, nobody is saying (or should be saying) that a culture that promotes thinness means all thin people are happy. this is why i added my final paragraph regarding how women's bodies in general are scrutinized and for the most part society thinks that's okay. what you're talking about is the implication of living in such a society; but what I'm talking about and you're talking about are not mutually exclusive. they are happening all at the same time.

chris rock explains this much more humorously and probably better than i can

[shesprints]

you do realize that all of these things can happen in tandem with seeing one's body represented as well, right? nowhere has anybody in this thread said that thin women don't have self-esteem issues, or that seeing oneself represented means this representation is 100% positive. quite the contrary. nobody is saying that thin women have cornered the market on a healthy body image.

but thin women are more positively represented than fat women in western culture full stop. thin women get to be anything from love interests to crimestoppers in movies and on television; fat women are most often reduced to the funny fat friend or the ugly "before" prior to a revolutionary "after" in which the character is thin and pretty. even most women's fitness magazines most often use models who are thin versus models who have a bit more on their frame. whether you think this is wrong or the way things should be doesn't change the fact that it's how things are.

there are dimensions to this and again, nobody is saying (or should be saying) that a culture that promotes thinness means all thin people are happy. this is why i added my final paragraph regarding how women's bodies in general are scrutinized and for the most part society thinks that's okay. what you're talking about is the implication of living in such a society; but what I'm talking about and you're talking about are not mutually exclusive. they are happening all at the same time.

chris rock explains this much more humorously and probably better than i can

Really want to rep you for Chris Rock mention but am on recharge, will get back to you. Exactly what I was trying to say, but funnier.

[Mumra]

what Chris Rock said is basically what I was trying to say.

[Miranda]

nowhere has anybody in this thread said that thin women don't have self-esteem issues, or that seeing oneself represented means this representation is 100% positive. quite the contrary. nobody is saying that thin women have cornered the market on a healthy body image.

euh, methinks you contradict yourself a slight bit:

thin people only have to look in a magazine to find reinforcement that they are worthy individuals (since invariably body size gets linked to human worthiness)

not getting into whether things are 100% and such.

there's plenty 'thin-hate' on this board as well. you hate what you can't get apparently.

i've always wondered though why one's sense of 'healthy body image' is partly derived from putting others down. y'know 'she's so skinny [and tall . . . added out or self-interest ] but ME? I lift weights! i may not be skinny but i'm muscular and strong!' sort of thing.

that sorta implies they'd rather be 'thin' but since they're not, they use a coping mechanism (= 'strength' or what ever) to develop a sense of false (?) superiority. sour grapes and all that.

i mean, who gives a fuk if you're strong but not 'thin' except yourself really? why bring others into it?