Women Lifting Around Men at the Gym

[shesprints]

been there done yet haha. after about 30 sec. it was "erm i'll meet you at check out"

Wait, I'm confused, don't men find underwear sexy?

Mind = blown at men not liking to watch women try on lingerie given the popularity of the Victoria Secret fashion show.

As for what to wear at the gym, it's like 105 degrees here; I'm in a sports bra. It's not like I mind that guys take off their shirts; it's not like that's not potentially distracting; but I'm not going to give them a hard time about it. Same for women.

[karinabe16]

I've finally lost the extra 15 lbs I've been wanting to lose since having my 3rd baby last year. Now, I'm ready to get toned and lean!

Do any of you feel uncomfortable lifting around men? I workout in a really small gym, and am often the only woman in there when I workout. I am so uncomfortable about going over there and lifting around the guys in there for some reason. How do you ladies deal with that? Is anyone else uncomfortable about it? I usually stick to the cardio machines, ab machines and leg machines and steer clear of the benches and free weights, but I really want to do those too. I know I have to get over that if I really want to accomplish my goal of getting toned and lean.

I just need some motivation to get beyond that! Have any of you felt this way before? How did you get yourself past it?

I personally do not feel uncomfortable lifting around men, i sometimes even train with a few guy friends. ratio at my gym is about 3/4's men 1/4 women. i think confidence comes in time. just focus on your lifting maybe listen to some music and try not to pay attention to others.

[IronCharles]

Wait, I'm confused, don't men find underwear sexy?

Mind = blown at men not liking to watch women try on lingerie given the popularity of the Victoria Secret fashion show.

Agree with this. I'd be like, "Honey, it's been almost a whole week since we last went lingerie shopping! Surely you need something new by now?"


Regarding the clothing issue: how men look at you in the gym is indeed directly related to what you choose to wear. We are visually oriented creatures, and our eyes are drawn to what you show us. If you choose to wear revealing clothing, be it for comfort reasons or whatever, you can expect to get looks. Not saying it's right or wrong... it's just how human nature works.

And, to the original post: my personal opinion on women in the weight area? I have more respect and admiration for ladies who lift than I do for ladies who do cardio only. Lifting is hard work, and even if you can only press the 20 pounders, I respect that. We all have to start somewhere. Put those doubts out of your mind and get in there and lift. You will never regret it.

[penny0527]

the reverse is true as well. try drag your SO to buy underwear with you. a man would rather inhale nuclear waste than enter a shop full of women & bras & knickers.

Hmmmm. My husband likes to go. I usually send pictures from the dressing room and he gives a yay or nay.

[Miranda]

Wait, I'm confused, don't men find underwear sexy?

Hmmmm. My husband likes to go. I usually send pictures from the dressing room and he gives a yay or nay.

not the ones i've been acquainted with. they're all practical and to the point

underwear = tacky, gets in the way and way too expensive. imo one of the reasons my SO won't enter underwear departments is because it physically hurts him to see women spend $$$ on minuscule swathes of useless pieces of fabric.

then there's the sentiment that you're a bit sad for trying to camouflage a poor body as a birthday cake. that's not sexy. if it's droopy, it's droopy. get over it.

[penny0527]

not the ones i've been acquainted with. they're all practical and to the point

underwear = tacky, gets in the way and way too expensive.

then there's the sentiment that you're a bit sad for trying to camouflage a poor body as a birthday cake. if it's droopy, it's droopy. get over it.

I would say not all are the same then.

And I don't think I'm trying camo a poor body as a birthday cake.

[melvimbe]

For me, I'd rather avoid the underwear dept because it's all rather confusing. It's ok to look, but not look too much. It's ok to appreciate that something is sexy, but don't be a pervert about it. And it's good to know a little about the sizes and styles, but if you know too much. And what if you happen to like something that is like nothing she's ever worn before? Is she going to question that? The chance of fail is strong.

Then again, there was an inspirational saying over on the o35 board a few days ago, "get comfortable with being uncomfortable". Not sure if that would apply here.

[Miranda]

I would say not all are the same then.

nope . . . i like to wear nice undies at times, but none of my SOs have ever given a toss.

And I don't think I'm trying camo a poor body as a birthday cake.

ya, but the point is i think that if you've a great body, you've great body. if you don't have a great body, too bad. dressing it up in bows and lace won't make it look any better or sexier [to a man]. to the contrary, it can make you look ridiculous in a man's eyes. guys care about bare skin, not underwear. well, the ones i've met anyway.

which isn't to say women buy underwear only to please men, should that discussion arise.

[sy2502]

of course it is many, if not most, fears are irrational. it doesn't make them any less stressful or 'real' to the person though.

until they get over themselves and just get into the habit of doing it.

Yes but I think realizing that, when you look at it objectively and rationally, there's really nothing to be afraid of can go a long way in getting over the fear.

[Miranda]

Yes but I think realizing that, when you look at it objectively and rationally, there's really nothing to be afraid of can go a long way in getting over the fear.

yes . . . what's the last time humans were objective and rational?

[sy2502]

yes . . . what's the last time humans were objective and rational?

Hey... I try...

[BritLin]

In a word - no. Men in the gym don't intimidate me. Men in general don't intimidate me. Neither do women bi$hy or not. I wear what I want - is it fitted & revealing? sure - I want to see me!!
If men want to look - go ahead!!! But expect t o be looked at as well I would Haaaate working out in an all women's gym.


Hehehe, this

+1 for co-ed gyms . I don't wanna talk to them, but it's nice to have something to look at in between sets.

I wear fitted clothes to the gym cuz the baggy stuff swooshing around while im trying to workout makes me crazy. The closer to 40 I get, the less I care what other people think - men or women.

I'm usually the only female in the free weights area but I go at the same time every day so they've gotten used to me & don't seem to pay any attention. If someone new shows up & they stare, I take it as a compliment. I stare when some beefy dude shows up in a t-shirt w the sleeves cut off (hnnnggg -whatever that means)

[penny0527]

nope . . . i like to wear nice undies at times, but none of my SOs have ever given a toss.



ya, but the point is i think that if you've a great body, you've great body. if you don't have a great body, too bad. dressing it up in bows and lace won't make it look any better or sexier [to a man]. to the contrary, it can make you look ridiculous in a man's eyes. guys care about bare skin, not underwear. well, the ones i've met anyway.

which isn't to say women buy underwear only to please men, should that discussion arise.

Too much generalizing here. I think lingerie mixes things up.

[Cara0915]

not the ones i've been acquainted with. they're all practical and to the point

underwear = tacky, gets in the way and way too expensive. imo one of the reasons my SO won't enter underwear departments is because it physically hurts him to see women spend $$$ on minuscule swathes of useless pieces of fabric.

then there's the sentiment that you're a bit sad for trying to camouflage a poor body as a birthday cake. that's not sexy. if it's droopy, it's droopy. get over it.

Sounds exactly like my SO.
Waste of money in mine, and his opinion.
As soon as its on the floor he's completely forgotten what you just spent $150 on.

As far as women lifting with men. Get over it. You have every right as them to be there. Confidence goes a long way in the gym.

[Miranda]

Too much generalizing here. I think lingerie mixes things up.

i wasn't generalising. i pointed out what has been pointed out to me over the years by several individuals of the opposite sex.

i don't think what others think about wearing X piece of garment matters that much anyway. you wear something to feel good about yourself. that carries over onto your attitude and behaviour. self-confidence and a sense of sassiness is attractive . . . even if it comes partially from wearing a piece of clothing that doesn't meet full-on approval. ('approval' in this case means 'great you're happy with your new bra but can you remove it thx'.)

if you wear X 'to be sexy' but don't feel it, though, then X is not going to make you sexy. being attractive is all in your head

the same goes for having 'a great body'. if you believe you have a great body, then it carries over to how you behave in intimate relationships. i'd think most people have 'flaws' and some men can be extremely nit-picky about what women look like. but so long as you believe you're great, warts and all, you're great. that's all that matters.

[MSW1992]

Going with a friend, or even another guy makes it a little better. I had a few friends that were more familiar with free weights when I started out and they sort of guided me along the way. Once I became more comfortable I went by myself. The majority of the time, no one in there will pay any attention to you. Worst case scenario someone may come up and give you advice on form or even shoot you a compliment. I've noticed that men are just as intimidated by women in the gym than we are of them when we're starting out. Just enjoy it! Research exercises and form videos beforehand if you are unaware of where to start/how to do something. Before you know it you'll be doing your own thing without thinking about it!

[liuzhoudragon]

in all honestly 99% of the men at the gym couldn't care less about what you do if it doesn't affect them

the other 1% will hit on you, find you you got 3 kids and move along to the next girl.

very common to be self-consicious ........honestly though most strangers are hardly concious of us.

[missnshelby]

You probably won't listen to a 15 yr old but I know what you mean by feeling uncomfortable when it's all men in the weight area! When I first joined the gym I was scared ****less because my gym is small and it is all men in the free weights. But I knew I had to overcome that and just do MY thing and not worry about what others think of me. But now, I have gotten so used to it. The guys are actually very respectful to the women that come into the free weight area. Just do your thing and go kill it!

[rackelle]

Don't stay at the cardio area, you will miss the best workouts.

It's normal to feel a bit uncomfortable at times, especially when there's "bro-time" at the gym around 7-10 pm. But you just need to get over this. You are there for yourself to achieve your goals. Keep them in mind. It helps me to think about what I want to achieve and to make a little plan before I go to the gym. Once I'm there, I just usually go straight for it.

It's really only a matter of time until "the guys" get used to the appearance of women in the free weights area. So far I have never expierenced one of them being unfriendly or disrespectfull while working out. En-contraire - most guys are max. a bit irritated, but in general they find it cool if a women lifts. If you dare to ask somebody for help or advice - I'm sure they will love to help you out and give you tons of information

Plus, eventually you can inspire more women to lift aswell.

[girlsagymaholic]

No I don't feel intimidated working out around men. In fact I don't feel intimidated by men at all. In fact I don't ever really get the whole concept of "OMG I am the only woman, what's going to happen to me, are they all going to jump me". Sorry, I just don't. I did feel intimidated initially but not because I am a woman among a bunch of guys, but because I was new and didn't know what I was doing, and worried about making an ass of myself.

I'm with you here, I was never intimidated to work out in front of the men. I was intimidated because I was in a new place, no familiar people, kind of felt out of place socially. But that's it.

You'll find you're pace, routine, schedule, get to know the people who come regularly and you'll become comfortable. Just get in there and do what you need to do!

[BeFit62]

You just got to walk in there and do your own thing. I think people tend to get a little paranoid as if everyone is watching you but for the most part they are focusing on themselves.

[getgoinggirl]

I can understand the hesitancy to jump into what may seem like shark infested waters. For me initially, that twinge of nervousness was more due to not being confident in where all the equipment was, if I was using correct form and looking like a tool, etc. It had nothing to do with being female in a predominantly male space. In the 8-10 months I've been lifting, I've never been disrespected in the weight room and for the most part haven't been approached at all. I've observed that most men are at first a little curious to see a lady using the "big" weights and often they're impressed to see you doing your thing (that is if they give a rat's ass at all).
Perhaps it's the time of day I workout or this area, but there are quite a few ladies doing their thang in the weight room right along side the men. I love the days when I can look down the row of weights and see women outnumbering the guys and we share a little head nod and wink.

[Hannah82]

I've finally lost the extra 15 lbs I've been wanting to lose since having my 3rd baby last year. Now, I'm ready to get toned and lean!

Do any of you feel uncomfortable lifting around men? I workout in a really small gym, and am often the only woman in there when I workout. I am so uncomfortable about going over there and lifting around the guys in there for some reason. How do you ladies deal with that? Is anyone else uncomfortable about it? I usually stick to the cardio machines, ab machines and leg machines and steer clear of the benches and free weights, but I really want to do those too. I know I have to get over that if I really want to accomplish my goal of getting toned and lean.

I just need some motivation to get beyond that! Have any of you felt this way before? How did you get yourself past it?

In my experience they have been very nice...if u just go do ur workout u will see the zero fks they give.

[MeFromG]

You probably won't listen to a 15 yr old but I know what you mean by feeling uncomfortable when it's all men in the weight area! When I first joined the gym I was scared ****less because my gym is small and it is all men in the free weights. But I knew I had to overcome that and just do MY thing and not worry about what others think of me. But now, I have gotten so used to it. The guys are actually very respectful to the women that come into the free weight area. Just do your thing and go kill it!

Yes, they are, aren't they? - There are only a few exceptions, like the ones who never unload their weights or the guys who are blocking your view in the mirror while lifting or the ones who are standing too close to you and your weights - but then a few words are sufficient and they move away . Have never experienced a bad argument in the gym with guys (just one time with a girl, she was a little bit a handful in my case and shortly after that in the cases of two dudes who were training nearby being also pushy with them; she thought the whole (gym-)world and its means revolved promptly around her and her needs).

[sbhf]

I've finally lost the extra 15 lbs I've been wanting to lose since having my 3rd baby last year. Now, I'm ready to get toned and lean!

Do any of you feel uncomfortable lifting around men? I workout in a really small gym, and am often the only woman in there when I workout. I am so uncomfortable about going over there and lifting around the guys in there for some reason. How do you ladies deal with that? Is anyone else uncomfortable about it? I usually stick to the cardio machines, ab machines and leg machines and steer clear of the benches and free weights, but I really want to do those too. I know I have to get over that if I really want to accomplish my goal of getting toned and lean.

I just need some motivation to get beyond that! Have any of you felt this way before? How did you get yourself past it?

I've been in the gym industry better than 30 years and applaud you for wanting to get in to the weight room and get strong and toned. EVERY woman working out SHOULD be in the weight room and as far away from the cardio equipment as possible. My SO is the only woman in the entire gym we go to that actually lifts. There are a handful of women and young girls that will kinda lift but what they are doing couldn't really be described as serious. 5lb db kickbacks and 10 lb rows as an example are not serious lifts no matter your gender or age. She wants to compete and also wants to be the strongest women she knows, in fact she is one of the strongest in the gym period. She is there to get her work done and concentrate on what she is doing and doesn't give a jip about what anyone else has got going on, unless it's another sister doing something totally wrong, then she will go suggest a more optimal way of doing that exercise. She has a 350 lb box squat, a 315lb dead lift (from the floor) a 90lb db row, 155lb bb bent row, she leg pressed 1068 lb tonight for 6 reps... after she had completed 245 lb squats for 8 -12 reps... she has a 155lb bench press and a 70lb incline db press, just to mention some of her capabilities. The only reason she is talked about and gawked at is because the guys feel intimidated by her. We actually heard a comment tonight from one young guy talking to his buddy it went something like this... "f k dude she has every 45lb plate in the room on that damn thing (she was in the leg press) I don't know how much that is but it's like 3x more than you lift dude"... she is the one of the strongest women I have ever worked with, that is in part because she has a scientifically based periodized program, she is not in a rush to get on stage, she is NOT trying to lose weight but bodyfat, she is scientifically inclined ( a nurse) and thinks, lives, breaths and sleeps weight lifting. And at only 27 she doesn't know the word fear. To date in 18 months she has increased her lean mass by approx, 28 lb and lost approx 40lb of body fat. She started out at 210lb at 5'7 and approx 32% bf and at the moment is 173lb at approx 16 %. I say approx because we use skinfold calipers and as everyone knows they are not an exact measure of bf levels but it's close enough for us to keep a good track on her progress. I am prattling on about this getting to my point because what you will find is that the more confident you are in the gym the less you will have anyone critiquing you. In the gym industry knowledge is confidence. The best advice I think you can get is to make sure you have a plan when you go into the weight room, please don't wear head phones especially when you are learning. Do your thing but BE AWARE of those around you. Head phones do nothing but set you into your own little world and usually make one totally unaware of whats going on around them. I don't know how many times in the last 10 years I have had to physically touch people I don't know to get their attention while working out because they have their music cranked up so loud they have no possible way of knowing if someone is trying to talk to them.

Set out to do a full body workout 3x a week for a start and get familiar with 2 exercises each for the chest, legs and back, and one each for bi's tri's delts and abs. That's 10 exercise's total, do each exercise 2x for anywhere between 12- 15 repetitions one workout and 8-12 the next. You should be able to lift a little heavier on the days you are doing less reps. Keep to this for about 6 weeks and really get to focusing on your form, for each of the 10 exercises. As you are getting more confident about what you are doing and more excited about the progress your making then your fears will become a thing of the past. A couple of other things that you should also be aware of... DON'T be that person that grabs a db and stands right in front of the db rack and mirror doing your sets, your preventing other people getting to the dbs, even more infuriating is when people pull a bench right up to the db rack and prevent others from an even wider range of db's. If you go in there and get your work done and get out most people won't even realize you have been in the joint because they are so busy pissing around with their music and unaware of whats going on around them that they will have hardly noticed you. I've prattled on enough for one post, I am happy to suggest exercises and how to perform them for you to start with if your stuck for things to do, but at the very least take a day or two to come up with a plan of the exercises you want or think that you should do and research them some and just as the Nike ad suggests... just go and do it. All the best to you in your endeavors.

[sbhf]

Hmmmm. My husband likes to go. I usually send pictures from the dressing room and he gives a yay or nay.

Exactly the same, I even have a few suggestions for my SO when we go in to VS... not that she ever really listens to them as she is really there to get what SHE feels comfy and sexy in... and that works for me.

[sbhf]

I shouldn`t have to mention this, but if you don`t want any ``attention`` don`t wear anything provocative or revealing. For me and a lot of people I know, however, the gym is a place to work on yourself, not try to get in girls pants(what you`re worried about). Also, just focus on your workouts, I hate it when people get chatty and ruin my focus.

if people get chatty and ruin your focus then YOUR NOT FOCUSED. Athletes all over the world perform in front of hostile home crowds all the time and are directly booed and jeered at and it doesn't effect their performances or ruin their focus...

one other thing... what is provocative or revealing in your eyes... shorts and sports tops which is what most women wear in the gym?... or would you rather see them in yoga pants and baggie tee's?...

[sbhf]

Then tell the metro guys to stop showing up in the nail salon!!!

Hey now... I am a metro male and get my hands dirty every day and have a standing appointment for my mani pedi 2x a month. My feet need it and my hands look prime most of the time because of the gels. And on top of that I get to spend an extra 5 hours a month with my SO as we usually go together, so that alone is worth it. I guess I am not much into culture as I just retired from the gym biz 2 years ago and 83 of the 112 private clients I had were women... please don't throw us all into the same **** pit :-)

[Mindylicious]

It's nothing to feel awkward about. everyone is there for the same reason. Kudos to the women in the gym. it makes me happy to see the fellow females improving themselves physically. It's inspiring really.

[daisybee81]

That makes sense. But I don't get why that would be a bigger problem if the people around you are guys. If anything, women are much more critical of other women than men. They'll take measure of your butt, your bra size, your hair, how tall you are, how much you weight, etc, compare themselves to you, give you the smug look if they feel they look better than you, or the evil eye if they feel you look better than them. So why would guys be more intimidating?

Agreed

The guys are super helpful if I need help, the girls look at me like I'm a freak (and I mean the girls that hang around the tredmills in full makeup)

Your all their with the same goal, just enjoy it