Found out dad is cheating on my mom. (srs)

[weightgainnow1]

All the people telling OP to mind his own business and that relationships are complicated are CHEATERS! They say that **** because they have probalay been in the same position as your dad and sympathize with him. Dont listen to these people.

OP you did the right thing altho you let your dad get off a little too easy. IMO your mom should know as well. Same thing happened with my parents and we all thought my mom would be devastated. She was, but she picked herself back up and now is remarried to a man who actually DESERVES her. Remember your moms feelings in all this too. She can do better then your dad. Don't let him get away with this.

[aintevenmad]

I can't understand why there are 30/40 year old people in here telling OP to "mind his own business".

He's not a fuking 6 year old that needs to have the real world shielded from him because he's not old enough to understand things. He's a grownup adult in the middle of a tough situation and he's trying to do right by his family. You *******s telling him to keep mum on this are hypocrites; you know that nobody deserves to be kept in the dark to their spouses infidelities. "Keep out you don't know their marriage." Gtfo

yupyupyupyup

all OP has done now is force his dad to be better at hiding his indiscretions.

[bluejay83]

LOL at all the *******s ITT saying it's none of his business.

OP needs to tell his dad to pull his fukin' head in & stop being a kunt.


also OP,
I hate the way your dad talks to you. "boy". Are you a boy or a man?

start acting like it.

[xbuttheaddx]

I can't understand why there are 30/40 year old people in here telling OP to "mind his own business".

He's not a fuking 6 year old that needs to have the real world shielded from him because he's not old enough to understand things. He's a grownup adult in the middle of a tough situation and he's trying to do right by his family. You *******s telling him to keep mum on this are hypocrites; you know that nobody deserves to be kept in the dark to their spouses infidelities. "Keep out you don't know their marriage." Gtfo

"I'm 40, therefore you should listen to me when I tell you that it's perfectly ok for your mom to get betrayed based on the statistical possibility that she might be a c*nt"

[retardedtroll]

OP, now your dad is just going to use another method of communication with this woman so that you (and no one else) will never see it again.

He played you hard with his responses and it really doesn't matter that you don't believe him. You don't believe him but you still aren't going to do **** and he can **** all the women he wants because he knows you'll let him get away with it. We may not know everything but I still feel for your mother being left in the dark by her husband AND her son.

No wonder he calls you "boy."

[whereyamamiat]

My dad has cheated on my mom plenty of times...and their still together for 25 years...most likely your mom already has caught him before...only really thing you can do is confront him once...if he wants to ignore and continue his cheat fest...then thats on him...if he has any conscience..he will stop or divorce your mother.

[Yagetmebludz]

Feel for u op stay safe

[Ases]

LOL at all the *******s ITT saying it's none of his business.

OP needs to tell his dad to pull his fukin' head in & stop being a kunt.


also OP,
I hate the way your dad talks to you. "boy". Are you a boy or a man?

start acting like it.

I meant it more like "son", hard to find the right translation sometimes

[raya]

guys who justify meeting up with ex gf's or ex flings cause they have " noones to talk too" is bs....the lady should just join a dating site and she will have plent of people to talk to other than a married man!!! UGH hate homewreckers!!!!

[15thPeak]

Mind your own business, son.

[poolshark472]

guys who justify meeting up with ex gf's or ex flings cause they have " noones to talk too" is bs....the lady should just join a dating site and she will have plent of people to talk to other than a married man!!! UGH hate homewreckers!!!!

It takes two to tango. She's just another sloot

[NotBigEnough206]

OP

Your dad is hitting that, and I am 100% certain of it.

[Aftermath145]

I've read every post in this thread and it's mostly been emotional replies proclaimed as LOGIC. The fact of life is most marriages end in divorce. Most relationships don't last. We live in a culture where we are broughtup from childhood to think that someday we'll meet the "Right One" and live happily ever after. That's not reality. It isn't real life. Most people cheat. It's rare--raaaaaaare--that two people meet and remain faithful and happy in a relationship which last for decades. I gurantee that there are hundreds of thousands of older couples in this country today who aren't happy or sexually satisfied within their marriage but stay with one another because they've been together for so long and/or have kids. Or they have come to some kind of mutual agreement to stay together but have an open relationship. The world isn't black and white to the point that OP's father is some a TRAITOR! and SCUMBAG! No, he is like any other human who has needs, wants and desires. He had kids and supported them and raised them within a family unit. He has every right to be happy. That doesn't make his cheating right but it doesn't make him a bad man. It just makes him human, like everybody else. A human that makes mistakes--mistakes according to our view as a culture.

[mydawgs]

I've read every post in this thread and it's mostly been emotional replies proclaimed as LOGIC. The fact of life is most marriages end in divorce. Most relationships don't last. We live in a culture where we are broughtup from childhood to think that someday we'll meet the "Right One" and live happily ever after. That's not reality. It isn't real life. Most people cheat. It's rare--raaaaaaare--that two people meet and remain faithful and happy in a relationship which last for decades. I gurantee that there are hundreds of thousands of older couples in this country today who aren't happy or sexually satisfied within their marriage but stay with one another because they've been together for so long and/or have kids. Or they have come to some kind of mutual agreement to stay together but have an open relationship. The world isn't black and white to the point that OP's father is some a TRAITOR! and SCUMBAG! No, he is like any other human who has needs, wants and desires. He had kids and supported them and raised them within a family unit. He has every right to be happy. That doesn't make his cheating right but it doesn't make him a bad man. It just makes him human, like everybody else. A human that makes mistakes--mistakes according to our view as a culture.

I know many couples that have been married as long as we have or longer and are happy...cannot vouch for faithful, and we have been married 30 years. We ride together, we lift together, we "live" together...he is my best friend, the father of my children and the center of my world. Our beliefs are aligned...and I can tell you the one thing either one of us could not forgive is the betrayal you trivialize as cheating...it is not "just sex", or just a mistake....it is a betrayal at so many levels and a huge violation of trust. So this father may not be a "bad"man, but is a BAD husband and a poor example as a father....and if the wife knows and tolerates this behavior, she is part of the problem. Marriage is black and white when it comes to sex outside the marriage...it is a "no no" and integrating that into "messy" life is a challenge, but if you are not up to the challenge of the promise you make, then don't make the promise.....that would be the honorable thing to do. Truth is truth, commitment is commitment, knowing your limitations is fine, but figure that out before you say "I Do", pretty simple I would say.

[Aftermath145]

I know many couples that have been married as long as we have or longer and are happy...cannot vouch for faithful, and we have been married 30 years. We ride together, we lift together, we "live" together...he is my best friend, the father of my children and the center of my world. Our beliefs are aligned...and I can tell you the one thing either one of us could not forgive is the betrayal you trivialize as cheating...it is not "just sex", or just a mistake....it is a betrayal at so many levels and a huge violation of trust. So this father may not be a "bad"man, but is a BAD husband and a poor example as a father....and if the wife knows and tolerates this behavior, she is part of the problem. Marriage is black and white when it comes to sex outside the marriage...it is a "no no" and integrating that into "messy" life is a challenge, but if you are not up to the challenge of the promise you make, then don't make the promise.....that would be the honorable thing to do. Truth is truth, commitment is commitment, knowing your limitations is fine, but figure that out before you say "I Do", pretty simple I would say.

Marriage isn't black and white when it comes to sex. Your marriage is, and certain rules and regulations that you two have agreed upon is the foundation for your marriage. There is no blanket definition for marriage and how two married people should act. It's a personal agreement between two people. People in other cultures have marriages, but their marriages are different from yours--based off their society and how they were broughtup and what two people agree to as a couple. That's the problem with society. We view marriage through the glasses of religion and/or cultural construct. All marriage is is an arrangment between consenting adults that holds financial ramifications. All the details beyond that are up to the adults. There is no right or wrong when it comes to what details are agreed upon. If OP's father agreed to be faithful to his wife and she has no knowledge of his sleeping around then yes, he's in the wrong. But again, we are all humans. Though we humans loooooove to judge one another. Calculate all the people who have cheated and all the failed marriages/relationships and the results would be staggering. Most marriages/relationships fall apart. Most people cheat. But we as a society still judge cheaters as some ungodly wretches. They aren't. They are the majority of society.

[IsItReally]

Marriage isn't black and white when it comes to sex. Your marriage is, and certain rules and regulations that you two have agreed upon is the foundation for your marriage. There is no blanket definition for marriage and how two married people should act. It's a personal agreement between two people. People in other cultures have marriages, but their marriages are different from yours--based off their society and how they were broughtup and what two people agree to as a couple. That's the problem with society. We view marriage through the glasses of religion and/or cultural construct. All marriage is is an arrangment between consenting adults that holds financial ramifications. All the details beyond that are up to the adults. There is no right or wrong when it comes to what details are agreed upon. If OP's father agreed to be faithful to his wife and she has no knowledge of his sleeping around then yes, he's in the wrong. But again, we are all humans. Though we humans loooooove to judge one another. Calculate all the people who have cheated and all the failed marriages/relationships and the results would be staggering. Most marriages/relationships fall apart. Most people cheat. But we as a society still judge cheaters as some ungodly wretches. They aren't. They are the majority of society.

So it's okay to do anything you like no matter what because we're all human and nothing is black and white. So where do we draw the line? To the OP, this must be hard for you. It's not your fault no matter what happens, you shouldn't have been ever put in this situation.

[poolshark472]

I've read every post in this thread and it's mostly been emotional replies proclaimed as LOGIC. The fact of life is most marriages end in divorce. Most relationships don't last. We live in a culture where we are broughtup from childhood to think that someday we'll meet the "Right One" and live happily ever after. That's not reality. It isn't real life. Most people cheat. It's rare--raaaaaaare--that two people meet and remain faithful and happy in a relationship which last for decades. I gurantee that there are hundreds of thousands of older couples in this country today who aren't happy or sexually satisfied within their marriage but stay with one another because they've been together for so long and/or have kids. Or they have come to some kind of mutual agreement to stay together but have an open relationship. The world isn't black and white to the point that OP's father is some a TRAITOR! and SCUMBAG! No, he is like any other human who has needs, wants and desires. He had kids and supported them and raised them within a family unit. He has every right to be happy. That doesn't make his cheating right but it doesn't make him a bad man. It just makes him human, like everybody else. A human that makes mistakes--mistakes according to our view as a culture.

Sloot logic/10

[Aftermath145]

So it's okay to do anything you like no matter what because we're all human and nothing is black and white. So where do we draw the line? To the OP, this must be hard for you. It's not your fault no matter what happens, you shouldn't have been ever put in this situation.

No, it's not okay. I'm replying more to the people here who have written posts saying that the OP should have beat up his father or that his father got away with it and what have you. Honestly, he did the right thing. His parent's marriage isn't any of his business but his father possibly hurting his mother emotionally is his business. He had three choices: ignore what he saw, confront his father or tell his mother. In my view the last two are the only real options. If he had told his mother it would have been a good option. The best option? Time will tell.

[Aftermath145]

Sloot logic/10

No, it's called reality. All the tv shows about paternity tests. All the divorce courts shows. Celebrities caught cheating (Arnold, etc). All the people in your life who have been divorced or have divorced parents. All the posters in the "Relationship" section on this board posting every week about their girlfriend of X number of years breaking up with them and how they can't take it. My posts and what I'm writing isn't saying that cheating is right and that it's okay. It's saying that it's reality and society needs to stop with the judgmental sanctemonious BS when most people in society cheat and lie.

[aintevenmad]

No, it's called reality. All the tv shows about paternity tests. All the divorce courts shows. Celebrities caught cheating (Arnold, etc). All the people in your life who have been divorced or have divorced parents. All the posters in the "Relationship" section on this board posting every week about their girlfriend of X number of years breaking up with them and how they can't take it. My posts and what I'm writing isn't saying that cheating is right and that it's okay. It's saying that it's reality and society needs to stop with the judgmental sanctemonious BS when most people in society cheat and lie.

Then OP's mother should have knowledge of his father's actions, so her vagina can sanctimoniously judge whether it wants him near it.

[IsItReally]

No, it's called reality. All the tv shows about paternity tests. All the divorce courts shows. Celebrities caught cheating (Arnold, etc). All the people in your life who have been divorced or have divorced parents. All the posters in the "Relationship" section on this board posting every week about their girlfriend of X number of years breaking up with them and how they can't take it. My posts and what I'm writing isn't saying that cheating is right and that it's okay. It's saying that it's reality and society needs to stop with the judgmental sanctemonious BS when most people in society cheat and lie.

A common occurrence doesn't make it right. Making bad things ''okay'' because it's a reality doesn't make it a good thing. That's why the world is so screwed up, with crazy explanations for ones wrong doings. Now his son knows his dad's a cheater. What sort of role model is that. What is the point of his marriage now anyways, no one in it sounds happy because no one is facing an issue or having the guts to talk about, therefore cowardly things like this occur. Why would anyone want to live a double life, it's not doing him or anyone any favours. It's not good enough to say it's reality. That's like saying "Oh I'm just going to shoot someone in the head because, in reality people get shot in the head everyday".

No, it's not okay. I'm replying more to the people here who have written posts saying that the OP should have beat up his father or that his father got away with it and what have you. Honestly, he did the right thing. His parent's marriage isn't any of his business but his father possibly hurting his mother emotionally is his business. He had three choices: ignore what he saw, confront his father or tell his mother. In my view the last two are the only real options. If he had told his mother it would have been a good option. The best option? Time will tell.

I'm not condoning violence against his father. His parents marriage is his business because it's his family and it can effect the foundations of your own moral compass if you're young enough at worst, and at best cause conflict or distrust between you and your own family. I mean talk to those who have been betrayed by there own family and ask them if it hasn't affected them in anyway. Life is hard enough without having trust in your own family. His father doesn't deserve to be bashed up, but he does not deserve support for cheating. Essentially he is eroding his own family and burdened his own son with these thoughts.

[mydawgs]

Marriage isn't black and white when it comes to sex. Your marriage is, and certain rules and regulations that you two have agreed upon is the foundation for your marriage. There is no blanket definition for marriage and how two married people should act. It's a personal agreement between two people. People in other cultures have marriages, but their marriages are different from yours--based off their society and how they were broughtup and what two people agree to as a couple. That's the problem with society. We view marriage through the glasses of religion and/or cultural construct. All marriage is is an arrangment between consenting adults that holds financial ramifications. All the details beyond that are up to the adults. There is no right or wrong when it comes to what details are agreed upon. If OP's father agreed to be faithful to his wife and she has no knowledge of his sleeping around then yes, he's in the wrong. But again, we are all humans. Though we humans loooooove to judge one another. Calculate all the people who have cheated and all the failed marriages/relationships and the results would be staggering. Most marriages/relationships fall apart. Most people cheat. But we as a society still judge cheaters as some ungodly wretches. They aren't. They are the majority of society.

Marriage is and always has been about exclusivity, truth, respect and honor. That is what it is, period. The fact that some choose to practice their version of it...well that is human. Being dishonest and not living up to your commitments is nothing but bad, marginalizing this behavior by consensus is why it continues. Little children do it all the time, "Well Tommy did it first", srsly? I don't give rats if you are bad at marriage....but don't reconstruct it to fit your behavior...it is in violation of the foundational principle. Never in any culture have I heard "I do, except for when I don't". Marriage is an AGREEMENT before your family and your maker to be true to your partner. Society has turned it into a lethal weapon for a woman, and a bad joke between the two that step into it without thinking it through. If that is the case then keep innocents lives out of your perversion of it, and if you can't do that then honor your children by respecting the family you have in partnership with your spouse created. Cheaters are weak and sorrowful people, cheaters that draw their kids into their inability to honor their families are scum, and that is completely independent of their numbers in force...different issue, but your attitude is a good start as to why the behavior is so prevalent...."if enough people do it, then it is OK", and the logic in this is where?

[Aftermath145]

So it's okay to do anything you like no matter what because we're all human and nothing is black and white. So where do we draw the line? To the OP, this must be hard for you. It's not your fault no matter what happens, you shouldn't have been ever put in this situation.

Nope. You're reading things in my posts that aren't there.

[Aftermath145]

A common occurrence doesn't make it right. Making bad things ''okay'' because it's a reality doesn't make it a good thing. That's why the world is so screwed up, with crazy explanations for ones wrong doings. Now his son knows his dad's a cheater. What sort of role model is that. What is the point of his marriage now anyways, no one in it sounds happy because no one is facing an issue or having the guts to talk about, therefore cowardly things like this occur. Why would anyone want to live a double life, it's not doing him or anyone any favours. It's not good enough to say it's reality. That's like saying "Oh I'm just going to shoot someone in the head because, in reality people get shot in the head everyday".



I'm not condoning violence against his father. His parents marriage is his business because it's his family and it can effect the foundations of your own moral compass if you're young enough at worst, and at best cause conflict or distrust between you and your own family. I mean talk to those who have been betrayed by there own family and ask them if it hasn't affected them in anyway. Life is hard enough without having trust in your own family. His father doesn't deserve to be bashed up, but he does not deserve support for cheating. Essentially he is eroding his own family and burdened his own son with these thoughts.

You're arguing and responding to my post as if they are against what you write. You quote one of my posts that basically says that what the father did wasn't right and wasn't okay in the grand scheme of things yet you argue like I wrote the opposite.

[Aftermath145]

Marriage is and always has been about exclusivity, truth, respect and honor. That is what it is, period. The fact that some choose to practice their version of it...well that is human. Being dishonest and not living up to your commitments is nothing but bad, marginalizing this behavior by consensus is why it continues. Little children do it all the time, "Well Tommy did it first", srsly? I don't give rats if you are bad at marriage....but don't reconstruct it to fit your behavior...it is in violation of the foundational principle. Never in any culture have I heard "I do, except for when I don't". Marriage is an AGREEMENT before your family and your maker to be true to your partner. Society has turned it into a lethal weapon for a woman, and a bad joke between the two that step into it without thinking it through. If that is the case then keep innocents lives out of your perversion of it, and if you can't do that then honor your children by respecting the family you have in partnership with your spouse created. Cheaters are weak and sorrowful people, cheaters that draw their kids into their inability to honor their families are scum, and that is completely independent of their numbers in force...different issue, but your attitude is a good start as to why the behavior is so prevalent...."if enough people do it, then it is OK", and the logic in this is where?

Where did I ever write that the father cheating on his wife is okay?

No, marriage hasn't always been about exclusivity. You can think marriage or the joining of two people in a relationship has always been about that, but it hasn't. You're viewing it through religious glasses. There's no blanket statement as to what marriage should be. There isn't. In American culture and in people broughtup in certain religions--Jewish and Christian--there is certainly a lofty ideal and a fantasized notion of marriage that doesn't extend to many other parts/cultures of the world. I'm an agnostic and I believe men are just highly intelligent animals. I believe in evolution. From the dawn of mankind men had more than one partner/wife. Even men throughout the Bible that Christians lookup to today had multiple wives.

Yes, if two people come together and make an agreement to stay exclusive and forsake all others then if one of them breaks that agreement that person is wrong. Does it make them scum? Nope. They are human. Humans who hold up this lofty ideal of marriage and monogamy yet fail miserably at it most of the time.

[mydawgs]

Where did I ever write that the father cheating on his wife is okay?

No, marriage hasn't always been about exclusivity. You can think marriage or the joining of two people in a relationship has always been about that, but it hasn't. You're viewing it through religious glasses. There's no blanket statement as to what marriage should be. There isn't. In American culture and in people broughtup in certain religions--Jewish and Christian--there is certainly a lofty ideal and a fantasized notion of marriage that doesn't extend to many other parts/cultures of the world. I'm an agnostic and I believe men are just highly intelligent animals. I believe in evolution. From the dawn of mankind men had more than one partner/wife. Even men throughout the Bible that Christians lookup to today had multiple wives.

Yes, if two people come together and make an agreement to stay exclusive and forsake all others then if one of them breaks that agreement that person is wrong. Does it make them scum? Nope. They are human. Humans who hold up this lofty ideal of marriage and monogamy yet fail miserably at it most of the time.

You're kidding right? What does evolution have to do with the concept of marriage...answer NOTHING, as a matter of fact it is due to the itellectually evolved human that "marriage" as a concept exists. Marriage LIMITS social/intimate/financial interactions between those that enter into it...IE they exclude others outside the agreement...otherwise they STAY SINGLE.

And no biology does not make you cheat, your intellect does, IE you make the choice to VIOLATE your agreement. What makes a person SCUM is bringing innocent kids into your perversion....so not only is this man a bad father, a bad husband, he is a scumbag for not taking HIS family into consideration with his SH*TTY behavior, and he did this by CHOICE.....IE on purpose.

As far as failing at marriage...those who are too weak to live by their commitments have no business entering into it, yet they do BY CHOICE.

[IsItReally]

You're arguing and responding to my post as if they are against what you write. You quote one of my posts that basically says that what the father did wasn't right and wasn't okay in the grand scheme of things yet you argue like I wrote the opposite.

Umm, no. Re-read your posts. Specifically, regarding you basically saying that the OP should get over it and it's none of his business, and his Dad shouldn't be judged because what he did is reality. You also said that when it comes to cheating- nothings black and white and it's a reality. I was disagreeing, saying; yes it is his business and yes it is black and white.