Scenario for the moms (and opinions from anyone who has one)

[Keltron]

So this friend on ******** (actually I've only seen her in person about 3 times so she's not a close friend) was talking about an encounter where a classmate called her 11 year old daughter a ratchet (kind of Bay Area, CA version of "skank") while she was picking her daughter from school.

HER:When I picked up my 11 yr old some kid called her rachet. Me being the grown up that I am told her that when she can count to 6 with her fingers then she can call my kid names. (she has 5 fingers between both hands)
2 hours ago via mobile · Like

ME:Wait, you mean she's missing fingers?

HER:Yeah she has deformed toes and stubs on her palms. I just don't think a kid with those problems should be mean to other kids for no reason. Especially to mine in front of me.

Ok, I've never been a parent so I cant really say what's right and wrong but it just seems like no matter what another kid might say, calling them out on their physical deformities is pretty bad. I also think it's pretty childish to stoop to another kids level.

So what do you folks say? Justified or not? If not, how should she have reacted? Again, I'm not a parent but I would've said something like, "You have no right to talk to people like that."

[Miranda]

mother has the maturity level of an eleven year old kid.

[rockangel]

Absolutely what miranda said. That was an immature and irresponsible remark. You dont want a kid making your kid feel bad, so you teach the kid a lesson by making them feel bad?? No sense!

I would have told the kid that that word is not acceptable and she will not use it in front of my kid.

Ive had to deal with the little neighbors kids teaching my son bad language before. We made the kids go home and told them we would talk to their parents and that we did not want to hear that language again. We have taught our kids that curse words are not to be said by children and are not polite when said by adults.

If the child has no right to speak to another like that, then what makes it ok for the adult to speak to another child that way. but immature parents will be immature.

[RoccoTanno123]

justified to respond? yes. justified to go a mile? no. that's not even an educational kind of put down (i.e. see how it feels?), it's just mean-spirited and bullying another kid. two wrongs don't make a right.

[LisaSkinnoble]

What an appalling woman! Reprehensible behaviour.

[aintevenmad]

The ratchet apple obviously does not fall far from the ratchet tree.

[DaniGrrl]

I echo what everyone else said

It's fine for her to have said she can't call her child names. But the other stuff she said was immature and just plain mean.

[Hannah82]

2 wrongs make a right....or is it.....fail.

[danap3681]

Juvenile behavior on the part of the mother! Disgusting!

My son and his friends call each other ratchety! I guess that saying has made it to the deep south

[silverlightning]

maybe daughter had called her names before or just before her mom picked her up. kids will be kids, let them fight there own battles. of course, unless they are being jumped. but yeah, I would have just told the girl to shut up and drove off.

[oldskooler]

The ratchet apple obviously does not fall far from the ratchet tree.

You're insulting the 11 yo daughter as well with this reply. smh

Seems the mom's protective instinct kicked in and she lost her filter. Needs to work on that. If the kid had said that it wouldn't be so bad (provided she didn't do anything to deserve being called a ratchet). I wouldn't be upset if I had a daughter and someone was harassing her and she hit below the belt to make someone stop. Lettuce be cereal, sometimes you need to go there to get matters resolved (sometimes the nice options don't work).

[RebeccaG]

What an appalling woman! Reprehensible behaviour.

This.

That's disgusting.

I would absolutely have said something had that been my kid but 'me, being the adult that I am' would have responded as an adult.

I've stepped into situations between my kids and other kids. My job is to teach and guide, not to contribute to the problem and insult them.

Just disgusting.

[aintevenmad]

You're insulting the 11 yo daughter as well with this reply. smh

Seems the mom's protective instinct kicked in and she lost her filter. Needs to work on that. If the kid had said that it wouldn't be so bad (provided she didn't do anything to deserve being called a ratchet). I wouldn't be upset if I had a daughter and someone was harassing her and she hit below the belt to make someone stop. Lettuce be cereal, sometimes you need to go there to get matters resolved (sometimes the nice options don't work).

No blame on the kid- more of a comment that insulting someone's physical deformities to prove your offspring isn't trash is pretty ironic. And then posting it on ******** like some sort of brag? Yeah. I wouldn't be surprised if the mother's behaviour has rubbed off on her daughter.

I wholely disagree with your child-rearing philosophy and don't believe in stooping to someone's level, nor did I at 11 years old. People who can be so angered by the actions of an 11 year old kid that they forget how to behave in civil society shouldn't be parents.

[oldskooler]

I wholely disagree with your child-rearing philosophy and don't believe in stooping to someone's level, nor did I at 11 years old. People who can be so angered by the actions of an 11 year old kid that they forget how to behave in civil society shouldn't be parents.

Well, its your right to disagree. I think guys and ladies approach things differently anyways. It was wrong of the mom as I said. Some people just loose all filters and get in super protective mood. Those people need to work on that. As for stooping to someones level, lettuce be cereal. Sometimes that is the only option. I'd consider it a last resort type thing. Life isn't all peaches and cream and when the nice and civil doesn't work then what else can you do? Just sit there and take it? Sorry, I couldn't get mad at my kid for doing what they had to do to stop being bullied/harassed if nothing else worked.

[aintevenmad]

Well, its your right to disagree. I think guys and ladies approach things differently anyways. It was wrong of the mom as I said. Some people just loose all filters and get in super protective mood. Those people need to work on that. As for stooping to someones level, lettuce be cereal. Sometimes that is the only option. I'd consider it a last resort type thing. Life isn't all peaches and cream and when the nice and civil doesn't work then what else can you do? Just sit there and take it?

Learn to not let it affect you. People will always be arseholes, always, and by responding you give them a reason to be even worse towards you; until one day you retaliate to someone who is violent and stronger than you. My dad went to my sister's school so many times and threatened to beat up her (male) bully. He never stopped bullying her, now adding the insults of "your dad is crazy" and "you're a crybaby and snitch" to the list of taunts.

You can't control other people's behaviour. Why would someone who hates you care if you think they're ____? You'll just make them even more angry. What you can control is your self.