afraid i will get dumped for being bad at sex
i was a virgin until i met her. she has had sex before. im worried that she will dump me because im bad at sex.she says i do a good job just need more practice but sometimes i think she just says it to be nice
should i worry or not?
06-08-2013, 09:00 AM #1
afraid of getting dumped due to being bad at sex
06-08-2013, 09:13 AM #2
- Join Date: Nov 2011
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Does she know you were a virgin before her? You will be **** at sex for a while, so if she doesnt wanna go on that learning curve with you then **** her. Onky thing i can advise is just enjoy yourself when you're having sex, dont feel stressed about it cuz thats when you become awkward and suck at sex. You wanna get better at sex? Have lots of sexual partners
06-08-2013, 09:47 AM #3
06-08-2013, 10:00 AM #4
- Join Date: Jan 2009
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yes she's saying that to be nice. "a good job" is not something that should even be said in regards to sex, it doesn't fit.
Girls want to be controlled in sex. They want to be "taken". They want you to do what YOU want to do with them, in a raw instinctive way. If you feel like banging the chit out of her doggystyle then you dont question that thought you simply do it. Females are submissve by nature (for the most part). Rough sex = good.
Sue 'passionate love making' has its place too but more often than not a girl just wants to be taken and made to feel helpless. Spanking, hair pulling, teasing, pushing her head/face down from behind. All good things
You just hae to get more comfortable with sex, because from the sound of it you're far to nervous / worrying about whats going on.
06-08-2013, 10:02 AM #5
- Join Date: Oct 2005
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She says you're good at it, why not take that at face value? Also "need more practice", then get on and practice! If she wants you to do anything specific or different, she has to tell you - make that clear to her. You're not a mind reader.**** Atheist Alliance ****
**Holds metal part of the car door awkwardly in order to avoid static shock crew**
**Sometimes I have the girl version of wet dreams crew**
06-08-2013, 10:02 AM #6
06-08-2013, 10:17 AM #7
06-08-2013, 10:24 AM #8
Look brother, here's the deal. If she's willing to wait around and stick it out until you get better she's a KEEPER!!! Because that means she cares more about you then she does about how good the sex is (which is very important in long term relationships). Don't get me wrong, sex is very very important. But if your girl would dump you because you suck at sex she isn't the type of girl you want to be dating.
It's going to take some practice, and first you have to target your problem and work on fixing it. Is it because you're awkward in bed? Cum to quick? Too small? Or what? Google is your friend in this type of situation. You need to read, read, and read some more. Yes practice makes perfect, but there's no point in practicing a batting swing if you're doing it wrong every time. Make sense?
I'm going to have to disagree with TruthHurts on some level. I believe it's about 50/50, some girls love to be controlled and punished where as others will actually dry up if you go too rough on them. My girlfriend is right in the middle, somedays she'll want it raunchy and hard and others she'll want me to go slow and be passionate. It's all about the mood and the mindset, rough sex does not always equal good sex. Just keep that in mind.
So...all in all, target your problem and work on fixing it. I'll give you a few examples.
Awkward in bed? Research how to be smoother, and ways to go from position to position without things becoming awkward. Also, research different sex positions so you can hit the g-spot and a-spot better. This one is going to take the most practice, and with time you will become less and less awkward.
Cum too quick? There are many things you can do to cure Pre-E. Meditative breathing (Belly breathing), pelvic floor stretches, mastering the art of edging, and working out will all help you last longer in bed.
Too small? Sign up at PEGym, and start working out your penis. You can get a half inch in length and girth just from an increase in erection quality over the first week or two.
Inb4 I'm negged for being helpful.
06-09-2013, 04:05 AM #9
My recent ex actually told me I was awful in bed after an argument, I knew she meant it as she'd ask to go on top after a minute or so, scream really loud to make it more 'exciting'. (I now actually realize that SHE isn't very good in bed, didn't know what reverse cowgirl was, always wanted me on top, expects you to do all work etc.)
Felt awful, we had more or less broken up at this point but there was noway I could live with myself knowing I was dumped for being bad at sex. We parted ways but it was late at night so I couldn't get home without taking the long winded night bus home. After the comments she made my mind was ****ed, I'd had a bit to drink which didn't help. I kept calling and calling with no answer until she called me back, allowing me to stay at her place (she knew I couldn't get home)
Went upstairs and she invited me into her bed where we proceeded to have sex, the difference between now and then was then, I was focusing too much on positions, motions, pleasing her etc. Now, I didn't give a chit, I went with the moment and this was the first time I made love and made her cum from missionary position. I noticed then when you just let go, it all comes naturally. You sync, you move with the moment and it isn't forced.
Need to work on my rough sex game now, I can make love but not very good at dat dere one night stand type lovin' lol.
It's all experience, hopefully with my next partner I'll learn even more.
Don't force it, let go, go with the moment. There's no 'rules' as to what you should always do. I like to stop midway and just linger there and kiss then carry on. Oh and show affection, kissing, looking in eyes, plays a massive part.
Last edited by Cptsprrw; 06-09-2013 at 05:30 AM.
06-09-2013, 04:13 AM #10
06-09-2013, 06:21 AM #11
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