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  1. #1
    Registered User GymmyRustler's Avatar
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    Dating a girl with Social Anxiety?

    Anybody ever date a girl with Social Anxiety? My girlfriend doesn't have hobby or friends... and its like she is happy with me one moment, and then when she has time to think to herself she gets all unhappy because I am her whole world, but she isn't mine. I got hobbies, friends, and I try to better myself. She doesn't work and has never had a job (she plans to get one this summer). So when she doesn't have school, and isn't hanging out with me, she usually just sits at home and sits on the internet and does whatever she does at home.

    My school has a confessions facebook page, and lately its been flooded with "I have no friends and I feel so alone" crap and our school has like 25k students. I liked a friends post where he basically said that now is the time to change and making friends is never going to be easier than it is now, and my girlfriend got mad at me for liking such a "dick" comment, and for not understanding her and believing that you can just magically cure Social Anxiety. I understand it can't be magically cured... but she like complains when I try to give her advice. My grandma wanted to take us out to dinner tonight, and she was fine with it, until today and she acts like I am forcing her to go to dinner with my grandma. She constantly thinks that I don't truly want to be with her and I am only with her because I like to hang out with her...

    Everything can be completely good, and then the next morning she is all unhappy again, and it gets frustrating. My buddy invited us to go to his lake house over spring break, and she essentially ruined it for me because she thought I was being flirty and wanted to bang everybody elses girlfriends, when I was just having a good time (nobody else thought this). She thinks everyone is judging her and she needs at least a days notice to basically do anything involving other people.

    Thoughts? Should I try to be more understanding of her social anxiety and not try to make her do anything involving my friends and family all the time? Or should I just find a girl without problems?

    Wut do misc.
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  2. #2
    Registered User Boffothe's Avatar
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    That doesn't sound like social anxiety to me, it sounds like good ol' "Massive Dramatic Kunt Disorder"
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  3. #3
    Registered User JustKeepDriving's Avatar
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    It sounds like you're in a difficult situation. Everyone has issues, that's life. I've yet to meet any singular person without issues. A lot of dating and relationships is really about whether our issues work with their issues.

    If you are hoping to change her, give up now. It's futile to try and change someone. Can people change? Yes. However, they have to change for themselves. Changing for another person is basically impossible. If they take the initiative to change themselves then the only thing we can do as a partner is give support and positive feedback. We can't force people to change and we can't push people to change according to our timeline.

    So you have to then ask yourself: If this person doesn't change, if this is how the relationship is going to be on into infinity; can I live with that?

    Some people are okay being with others that have social anxiety, depression, are socially awkward, make strange demands, are insecure, jealous ect. Some people however cannot do it. So you have to know if you are equipped for this to go on through the duration of your relationship. If you can't do it - that is okay, exit the relationship and go find someone you work better with. If you can do it understand that she might not change and her social anxiety/ unhappiness/ fears about you leaving her might always be there in the relationship.
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  4. #4
    Registered User GymmyRustler's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Boffothe View Post
    That doesn't sound like social anxiety to me, it sounds like good ol' "Massive Dramatic Kunt Disorder"
    Agreed honestly.

    When I lived in my old party house, we would have parties and she would rather sit in my room and look at Reddit instead of come downstairs.
    Over xmas, when me and all the roommates and the girlfriends were all downstairs exchanging gifts / hanging out, she didn't want to come down and just sat in my room.
    When we would do like a family dinner and she would be over, she would just go home instead of staying for dinner.

    Lots of anti-social from her. With just me she is fine. When she gets drunk she is fine. She has no problems going out and doing stuff alone, or talking to people at the cash register or whatever she needs to do. When it comes to my friends and family she would rather just not be there.

    My foreveralone friend got a girlfriend, and he wanted me to meet her, so he suggested the 4 of us (me, my gf, him, and his new gf) all go out and eat... and my girlfriend thought that I wanted to meet his girlfriend so she could introduce me to her friends, and then eventually **** them.


    **** me. The more I say, the more I am realizing WTF I have gotten into.

    Honestly I like spending time with her and when everything is good, its great. It's just that when she can really think.. she goes into female emotional illogical thinking that don't make sense. Part of me knows that everybody has problems, and I had my problems with drugs and video games and all that jazz, but I have never really had a huge problem making friends and I have never had "no friends" since high school. I have a few social circles of friends. She actually used to be popular in middle school she claims, and her good friends all moved away or stopped talking to her. I feel like if I could just get her to go to therapy / go to a doctor and try to get help, she would be okay and all this **** would be solved.
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  5. #5
    Mrs. Dwayne Johnson sincity88's Avatar
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    What a waste of time. Let her miss out on life, but there's no reason why you should too.
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    dude, you need to set **** straight. your way or the highway brotha
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  7. #7
    Registered User PowerOfTruth's Avatar
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    My friend goes to the grocery store and picks out the crappiest cart he can find. You know the one... Each wheel goes in a different direction. That seat thingy won't fold down. It's all dirty. Then he proceeds to bitch about the cart. And how carts should be. I usually shake my head and point at the rows upon rows of perfectly good carts he could have picked.

    Dude, you need to go shopping.
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  8. #8
    bishes luv dimples Violator009's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PowerOfTruth View Post
    My friend goes to the grocery store and picks out the crappiest cart he can find. You know the one... Each wheel goes in a different direction. That seat thingy won't fold down. It's all dirty. Then he proceeds to bitch about the cart. And how carts should be. I usually shake my head and point at the rows upon rows of perfectly good carts he could have picked.

    Dude, you need to go shopping.
    rofl no shiit? Op should bail, one thing i do if go to a chicks house is look in the cabinet over her bathroom sink to see if shes on anti depression/ psychotic meds
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  9. #9
    Mrs. Dwayne Johnson sincity88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Violator009 View Post
    rofl no shiit? Op should bail, one thing i do if go to a chicks house is look in the cabinet over her bathroom sink to see if shes on anti depression/ psychotic meds
    My one friend has told a guy on a first date that she takes Ritalin, an antidepressant (calls them her happy pills, srs), and sneaks her mom's xanax when she's feeling anxious. When she told me that she told him all this, I was like wtf y u do dis?!
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    Originally Posted by sincity88 View Post
    My one friend has told a guy on a first date that she takes Ritalin, an antidepressant (calls them her happy pills, srs), and sneaks her mom's xanax when she's feeling anxious. When she told me that she told him all this, I was like wtf y u do dis?!
    How did that end?
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  11. #11
    Registered User Boffothe's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by PowerOfTruth View Post
    My friend goes to the grocery store and picks out the crappiest cart he can find. You know the one... Each wheel goes in a different direction. That seat thingy won't fold down. It's all dirty. Then he proceeds to bitch about the cart. And how carts should be. I usually shake my head and point at the rows upon rows of perfectly good carts he could have picked.

    Dude, you need to go shopping.
    this should be the first post in at least 75% of the threads here
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  12. #12
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    You can't change people. I've lost relationships because of my social anxiety. I'm not trying to be biased.

    A lot of people with social anxeity just need a bit of a nudge to start their own lives. This is the issue for those with social anxiety, they will find friends in others with similar issues... why? Because it doesn't make them feel uncomfortable. I really grew out of my social anxiety when I met a friend who loved to party, I went out with him all quiet and awkward for a while, until one day. I fit right in.

    People with anxiety need exposure, get them some drinks, and once they see how fun going out and drinking can be I promise you that confidence will carry over into when they arent sober when they can be recognized.

    Once I could walk around campus and run into one or two people every time I exited a class , I felt great! I began to take care of myself and branhc out even more.
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    Giving her exposure isn't an issue. The OP has offered and allowed more then plenty opportunities for her to try and come out of her fix. OP, if there are more good times then bad than you should hold in a bit longer and keep trying to point things in the right direction. If there are more bad times than good times then I think it is time to reevaluate whether you want to continue.

    No sense in being unhappy 95% of the time for a 5% crap shoot of a happy moment.
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