I need help brahs gf of 2 years im losing my mind

[PowerOfTruth]

When life throws us a curve ball, we lean on those closest to us. You have seriously misjudged this relationship. Your inability to communicate with your gf like an adult doesn't help the situation.

You will find no security in uncertainty. Yet you want the misc to provide such.

[Fiz-iks]

Weird situation for sure. People react to deaths in different ways.

I can see it being extremely frustrating with you having no clue if she is coming back. How far away is she right now?

Like what is going to happen after 1 month, 2 months etc. It isn't like she's saying I've booked the train for the x day of May, see you then. The ambiguity is probably killing you brah.

The best thing you can do is just support her and see what happens. Don't just sit around your apartment though. Still be hanging out with friends, basically do everything you'd do if you were single except for hook up with other girls. (For now at least) after a month it would be difficult for keep waiting IMO.

I'm also shocked she doesn't care about seeing you....

meh it's so hard to say.

reps brah

[Higherr]

Weird situation for sure. People react to deaths in different ways.

I can see it being extremely frustrating with you having no clue if she is coming back. How far away is she right now?

Like what is going to happen after 1 month, 2 months etc. It isn't like she's saying I've booked the train for the x day of May, see you then. The ambiguity is probably killing you brah.

The best thing you can do is just support her and see what happens. Don't just sit around your apartment though. Still be hanging out with friends, basically do everything you'd do if you were single except for hook up with other girls. (For now at least) after a month it would be difficult for keep waiting IMO.

I'm also shocked she doesn't care about seeing you....

meh it's so hard to say.

reps brah

Thanks brah.... She's like on the west coast and I'm on the east, it's a looong distance

[Fiz-iks]

Thanks brah.... She's like on the west coast and I'm on the east, it's a looong distance

ok ok. I was thinking it could be something like Toronto --> montreal/ottawa or somewhere within a reasonable distance.

West Coast to Toronto is a little ridiculous. It's not like she's going to be popping by.

sucks man I feel for ya.

[Higherr]

ok ok. I was thinking it could be something like Toronto --> montreal/ottawa or somewhere within a reasonable distance.

West Coast to Toronto is a little ridiculous. It's not like she's going to be popping by.

sucks man I feel for ya.

Ya were originally from Calgary

[Tony_S]

sucks being in limbo. sounds like she's unsure too. i would make a grown man decision and end it, move on with your life. no reason for her to shut you out like this. she's showing signs of instability, you don't want to be with someone like that.

[LivinoffBliss]

sucks being in limbo. sounds like she's unsure too. i would make a grown man decision and end it, move on with your life. no reason for her to shut you out like this. she's showing signs of instability, you don't want to be with someone like that.

This

[Higherr]

sucks being in limbo. sounds like she's unsure too. i would make a grown man decision and end it, move on with your life. no reason for her to shut you out like this. she's showing signs of instability, you don't want to be with someone like that.

It's so hard to let go... Then I go back to being another FA *******

[TheJizzler]

Think of it like this, if your dad died would you ignore your gf for three weeks?

Watching clueless *******s re-enforce each other makes me rage almost as much as watching sloots defend each other.



If I were arranging my Dad's funeral services and my girlfriend's reaction was to complain about me not calling her enough, I'd drop her like a rock.

sucks being in limbo. sounds like she's unsure too. i would make a grown man decision and end it, move on with your life. no reason for her to shut you out like this. she's showing signs of instability, you don't want to be with someone like that.

From my reading of OP's posts, it sounds like he's phucking needy and she doesn't have time to deal with that now. Pretty valid reason, tbh.



And that stuff about instability... you're talkin out your ass there, bro. Her Dad died. Three weeks ago.

OP on the other hand is showing SERIOUS instability. His girlfriend's dad died and he's freaking out and planning on dumping her because he's not getting his attention fix. After three weeks.

[Higherr]

Watching clueless *******s re-enforce each other makes me rage almost as much as watching sloots defend each other.



If I were arranging my Dad's funeral services and my girlfriend's reaction was to complain about me not calling her enough, I'd drop her like a rock.




From my reading of OP's posts, it sounds like he's phucking needy and she doesn't have time to deal with that now. Pretty valid reason, tbh.



And that stuff about instability... you're talkin out your ass there, bro. Her Dad died. Three weeks ago.

OP on the other hand is showing SERIOUS instability. His girlfriend's dad died and he's freaking out and planning on dumping her because he's not getting his attention fix. After three weeks.

So what do you suggest...? Im taking in everyone's advice here...

[eat-sleep-lift]

read first line and wondered why you already have a place together.

too serious too soon OP?

Break it off i think. Maybe say you feel like she needs space and youre both too young to wait it out. So it's goodbye for now and see what happens down the road one day maybe.

[Higherr]

read first line and wondered why you already have a place together.

too serious too soon OP?

Break it off i think. Maybe say you feel like she needs space and youre both too young to wait it out. So it's goodbye for now and see what happens down the road one day maybe.

If I do that now ill feel like a total ******* considering her dad died...

[eat-sleep-lift]

If I do that now ill feel like a total ******* considering her dad died...

You probably will feel that way. But if she is not communicating with you then you need to draw the line somewhere. You cannot sit around waiting for her to make her mind up. It's not fair to you at all. If she needs space, she should TELL you. If she hasnt told you she needs space, yet she keeps pushing you away, then you have every right to make a decision yourself.

Besides, you live in TO. Lived there for 4 months brah. Bishes be good in that town. srs.

[LVLifter81]

While I think it is weird that the gf wouldn't be leaning on the bf more, I also agree like the other poster said, people handle things differently.

I definitely wouldn't be breaking up over it.

I'd call the gf regularly, probably every day unless she made it clear that was a problem and just see how things are going. Offer to come up if you can. I'd be telling her take as much time as she needs.

Now if three months from now it's the same story, then I'd look more closely at things. If you're already giving her chit about not returning soon, that's not very reasonable on your part. If you're gonna pull that you need to at least spin it as "I miss you so much". I'd be giving her a little time to process things.

[Higherr]

You probably will feel that way. But if she is not communicating with you then you need to draw the line somewhere. You cannot sit around waiting for her to make her mind up. It's not fair to you at all. If she needs space, she should TELL you. If she hasnt told you she needs space, yet she keeps pushing you away, then you have every right to make a decision yourself.

Besides, you live in TO. Lived there for 4 months brah. Bishes be good in that town. srs.

Where are these good bishes you speak about?

Lived here for 4 years they seem so cold

[Higherr]

While I think it is weird that the gf wouldn't be leaning on the bf more, I also agree like the other poster said, people handle things differently.

I definitely wouldn't be breaking up over it.

I'd call the gf regularly, probably every day unless she made it clear that was a problem and just see how things are going. Offer to come up if you can. I'd be telling her take as much time as she needs.

Now if three months from now it's the same story, then I'd look more closely at things. If you're already giving her chit about not returning soon, that's not very reasonable on your part. If you're gonna pull that you need to at least spin it as "I miss you so much". I'd be giving her a little time to process things.

She didnt want me to go there but it could be because I was being a problem to her, recently since I took a bunch of people's advice here she's been kind of talking to be but it's not usually how she is with me. But I guess you're right about time...

[Retroplayer]

Higherr, give it some time of casual talking and without drama, just explain how you were feeling and apologize to her for being a source of stress. Make sure that you fit in there that you have given it alot of thought. This will show her that you are compassionate, which is critical for her right now. That's what she needs right now. Especially after you have come across as the exact opposite lately. Give it some more time, and then offer again to come down there if she needs you. Just be careful with timing. Give these steps some time in between.

Most of all, be compassionate. Even if she is lying, cheating, or whatever else everyone is trying to plant in your head, it's the ONLY chance you have to pulling her back. At least you won't walk out of it feeling like it was your fault, which would make you a mess.

[Ronnie87]

She's been your girlfriend for 2 years and doesn't want you to be with her at a difficult time? My girlfriend always wants me to support her when things are tough. Your relationship is probably on its way out.

[Higherr]

Higherr, give it some time of casual talking and without drama, just explain how you were feeling and apologize to her for being a source of stress. Make sure that you fit in there that you have given it alot of thought. This will show her that you are compassionate, which is critical for her right now. That's what she needs right now. Especially after you have come across as the exact opposite lately. Give it some more time, and then offer again to come down there if she needs you. Just be careful with timing. Give these steps some time in between.

Most of all, be compassionate. Even if she is lying, cheating, or whatever else everyone is trying to plant in your head, it's the ONLY chance you have to pulling her back. At least you won't walk out of it feeling like it was your fault, which would make you a mess.

Thanks brah.... ill take this to heart

[Jestbrah]

its over man seriously.

As it has been stated many times if someone close to you dies you want your significant other there. She OBVIOUSLY does not love you, 100% no doubt this has nothing to do with grief.
Her not having time to talk to you is bs. She has been there for a month now. She is obviously not working or going to school there so how has she not had time to think and talk to you? Sounds like she has allllllll the time in the world.
She has probably been hanging out with old friends and meeting people there and seriously, most likely has met a new and exciting guy who is taking her mind off her dad's passing.


You don't just keep your significant other in limbo and have them waiting, look at all the pain and confusion she is causing you right now. Think about it in terms of if it was someone else, is that the kind of person you would want to be with? She is neglecting the hell out of you and that is NOT ok. A week of hard grieving is normal, 2 weeks is a little abnormal but understandable, 3 weeks is a stretch, 4 weeks if just a strait up lie and bs.

[Higherr]

its over man seriously.

As it has been stated many times if someone close to you dies you want your significant other there. She OBVIOUSLY does not love you, 100% no doubt this has nothing to do with grief.
Her not having time to talk to you is bs. She has been there for a month now. She is obviously not working or going to school there so how has she not had time to think and talk to you? Sounds like she has allllllll the time in the world.
She has probably been hanging out with old friends and meeting people there and seriously, most likely has met a new and exciting guy who is taking her mind off her dad's passing.


You don't just keep your significant other in limbo and have them waiting, look at all the pain and confusion she is causing you right now. Think about it in terms of if it was someone else, is that the kind of person you would want to be with? She is neglecting the hell out of you and that is NOT ok. A week of hard grieving is normal, 2 weeks is a little abnormal but understandable, 3 weeks is a stretch, 4 weeks if just a strait up lie and bs.

You might be right bro.... Fuark I wanna cry

[Retroplayer]

You might be right bro.... Fuark I wanna cry

Has she told you that it was over? Jesus Christ! I swear people on here just try to destroy others' relationships. Seriously? I would never come here asking anyone for advice after the crap I have seen here.

3 weeks of greiving over her father DYING is too much? Seriously? GTFO. My mother died almost 3 years ago and I still cry once in awhile and miss her. It will be the same when my father, brothers, and sister die. These people are very close to me.

Again, you became a source of stress for her. That interrupted the grieving process and it made her unable to turn to you because you were making it worse.

All these negative thoughts people are planting in your head are just going to make you screw things up more. And honestly, I think that is what they want.

Maybe it will end, maybe it won't. But she hasn't told you that it was over yet. What is the point of believing that it is? If you can't survive the bad times as well as the good, it will never last. That goes for you too, OP.

If you were in her shoes, what would you want from her? Be that.

[Higherr]

Has she told you that it was over? Jesus Christ! I swear people on here just try to destroy others' relationships. Seriously? I would never come here asking anyone for advice after the crap I have seen here.

3 weeks of greiving over her father DYING is too much? Seriously? GTFO. My mother died almost 3 years ago and I still cry once in awhile and miss her. It will be the same when my father, brothers, and sister die. These people are very close to me.

Again, you became a source of stress for her. That interrupted the grieving process and it made her unable to turn to you because you were making it worse.

All these negative thoughts people are planting in your head are just going to make you screw things up more. And honestly, I think that is what they want.

Maybe it will end, maybe it won't. But she hasn't told you that it was over yet. What is the point of believing that it is? If you can't survive the bad times as well as the good, it will never last. That goes for you too, OP.

If you were in her shoes, what would you want from her? Be that.

So hard to know what advice is good and what isnt, you seem like you know more... I get alot of things planted in my head but i dont know, i think i trust what you say more... thanks brah, measely reps..

[Retroplayer]

So hard to know what advice is good and what isnt, you seem like you know more... I get alot of things planted in my head but i dont know, i think i trust what you say more... thanks brah, measely reps..

Any advice telling you, "Dude, it's over, dump her." Is the stupidest advice in the world. Why dump her? She hasn't said it's over. Will you hurt any less if you dumped her right now, not knowing, than if in the end you find out she is leaving you? What difference does it make? Either way, the relationship ends. If you truly love her and WANT her, stay the course. If she isn't coming back and wants it to be over, she will tell you. The fact that she hasn't yet means she hasn't decided that yet. Maybe she is considering it, maybe she isn't. What difference does it make now? What you do from this point on is the ONLY thing that will make a difference.

I highly doubt that she is cheating on you. That makes no sense whatsoever. Again, I am positive that she was avoiding you only because you were causing more stress for her and she didn't want to deal with it.

I agree that you should have went with her, but you didn't. And what she really needed you to do was to be supportive and compassionate, and to take care of things so that she could focus on the greiving process.

I know this stuff because my ex-mother in law was in the hospital for 6 months in a coma and they kept telling my ex-wife that she wasn't going to make it. My ex-wife stayed with her and family for over a month dealing with it. She was never home, did not communicate with me much at all. After about 2 weeks, I got stupid selfish as well and told her I needed her home and that there was nothing she could do there anyway. Then I thought about it and it was stupid. I held down the fort while she did what she needed to do.

Yes, we did split up (ex-wife) but it wasn't over that. We were together for years after that.

Learn to make your own sandwhiches and wash your own clothes. Keep the house clean and take care of things there. THAT'S what she wants from you. You are suppose to provide comfort and reduce stress, not create more stress.

[Higherr]

Any advice telling you, "Dude, it's over, dump her." Is the stupidest advice in the world. Why dump her? She hasn't said it's over. Will you hurt any less if you dumped her right now, not knowing, than if in the end you find out she is leaving you? What difference does it make? Either way, the relationship ends. If you truly love her and WANT her, stay the course. If she isn't coming back and wants it to be over, she will tell you. The fact that she hasn't yet means she hasn't decided that yet. Maybe she is considering it, maybe she isn't. What difference does it make now? What you do from this point on is the ONLY thing that will make a difference.

I highly doubt that she is cheating on you. That makes no sense whatsoever. Again, I am positive that she was avoiding you only because you were causing more stress for her and she didn't want to deal with it.

I agree that you should have went with her, but you didn't. And what she really needed you to do was to be supportive and compassionate, and to take care of things so that she could focus on the greiving process.

I know this stuff because my ex-mother in law was in the hospital for 6 months in a coma and they kept telling my ex-wife that she wasn't going to make it. My ex-wife stayed with her and family for over a month dealing with it. She was never home, did not communicate with me much at all. After about 2 weeks, I got stupid selfish as well and told her I needed her home and that there was nothing she could do there anyway. Then I thought about it and it was stupid. I held down the fort while she did what she needed to do.

Yes, we did split up (ex-wife) but it wasn't over that. We were together for years after that.

Learn to make your own sandwhiches and wash your own clothes. Keep the house clean and take care of things there. THAT'S what she wants from you. You are suppose to provide comfort and reduce stress, not create more stress.

MAAAAAAAAAJOR update brahs, ill post later tonight... somewhat good news and bad news at the same time, **** sucks but its for the better, and ill get more in depth into everything. just wanna thank you brahs for all the advice, good and bad

[LivinoffBliss]

Watching clueless *******s re-enforce each other makes me rage almost as much as watching sloots defend each other.



If I were arranging my Dad's funeral services and my girlfriend's reaction was to complain about me not calling her enough, I'd drop her like a rock.




From my reading of OP's posts, it sounds like he's phucking needy and she doesn't have time to deal with that now. Pretty valid reason, tbh.



And that stuff about instability... you're talkin out your ass there, bro. Her Dad died. Three weeks ago.

OP on the other hand is showing SERIOUS instability. His girlfriend's dad died and he's freaking out and planning on dumping her because he's not getting his attention fix. After three weeks.

and your a fkn moron. if i was going through a rough time like that I'd want all the emotional support I can get, and who better to get it from than your s/o? My grandpa passed away(he raised me when i was a child for 5 years) and when it happened I wanted to be left alone, a day or two. But dam bro i went to my s/o and family for support. I didn't just ignore everybody.

[Higherr]

Actually im not sure if i really wanna get into it, but basically we broke up, and its not cause of anything I did. time to look ahead to my new future

[LivinoffBliss]

Actually im not sure if i really wanna get into it, but basically we broke up, and its not cause of anything I did. time to look ahead to my new future

give us updates bro. or at least pm me

[Fiz-iks]

Actually im not sure if i really wanna get into it, but basically we broke up, and its not cause of anything I did. time to look ahead to my new future

dude we are along with you for the ride. Pretty rude to not tell us the conclusion to the story after asking for advice and letting people spend their time helping you...

post full updates please. People WANT to know what is going on. Doesn't matter how f*cked up, how beta, how bad etc. No one is going to judge you.

[Higherr]

Well, basically she's just a really lost person, and has trouble with her identity. She never finished high school, and moved to Vancouver by herself when she was 14 years old, cause she wanted to find a place in the world. You can tell she doesn't really know what she wants in this life.

Earlier this year, because she's had stomach problems etc, they found out she has no uturus and can't have kids, I know this effected her really bad cause she always told me how bad she wanted kids one day.

Now that her father died, her gay uncle (brother of dad) has been really helping the family out (he's got quite abit of money). I don't know if this plays a factor in anything, but she is really influenced and mirrors people that she thinks have it good and are happy because she also wants that. I could always tell from how she's been in the past.

So she told me today, that she's done a lot of soul searching etc and figured out she's gay. She doesn't have an interest in anyone specific though. And still loves me etc whatever.

So at that point there's nothing I can do but move on