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  1. #1
    Registered User Duckyy's Avatar
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    How do you properly wipe your butt?

    I don't know if I've been wiping my butt after taking a poop correctly. When I wipe my butt with tissue I wipe from bottom to top and repeat. I don't know if I'm pushing poop back inside wiping this way.

    Is this the correct way?
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  2. #2
    Platinum Level User boulderCObrah's Avatar
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    need ms paint illustration for further evaluation
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  3. #3
    Registered User TheCharismatic's Avatar
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    i knew that thread I saved would come in handy one day
    gotta get one of these OP

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  4. #4
    Registered User ScienceBro's Avatar
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  5. #5
    Registered User opto2017's Avatar
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    Enter the bathroom, start like this




    Get down to this




    Flush, then leave
    ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
    ...............................R.I.P................................
    ............Aziz "Zyzz" Sergeyevich Shavershian........
    ..............₪₪₪₪₪₪1989-2011₪₪₪₪₪₪...............
    ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۞۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

    We were all witnesses
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  6. #6
    Banned LegitAlpha's Avatar
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    I sometimes hose my ass outside
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  7. #7
    Registered User Nastyy's Avatar
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    one foot on the seat like captain morgan
    the more you sweat in peace, the less you bleed in war
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  8. #8
    Registered User -aesop-'s Avatar
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    I throw my leg up on the sink and go to town.
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  9. #9
    Registered User TheCharismatic's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LegitAlpha View Post
    I sometimes hose my ass outside
    do you also stick the hose inside your ass and pretend its Jay Z unloading one on ya? (no homo)
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  10. #10
    Banned ObrahWinfiend's Avatar
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    something is wrong with your chit if you have to wipe
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  11. #11
    Fak'n Joosie Frell's Avatar
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    OP if you go back to front you might push feces into your vaginal canal
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  12. #12
    Manlet with Credentials Jasonw1178's Avatar
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    I always figured the Misc was filled with people who couldn't even wipe their own asses right.
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  13. #13
    ☼ ☾ ✫ chelseaohtotty's Avatar
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    with cottonelle wipes
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  14. #14
    HAOLE SUPAMAN memcop's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by chelseaohtotty View Post
    with cottonelle wipes
    sup baby? mirin rep power?
    LOL
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  15. #15
    Registered User aesthetique's Avatar
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    keep wiping until i see red crew checking in
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  16. #16
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    Originally Posted by Jasonw1178 View Post
    I always figured the Misc was filled with people who couldn't even wipe their own asses right.
    Lol
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  17. #17
    registered mad kunt SIKHUNT's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by chelseaohtotty View Post
    with cottonelle wipes
    with her tongue
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  18. #18
    Registered User TheCharismatic's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by memcop View Post
    sup baby? mirin rep power?
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  19. #19
    No Deadlifts Lakersbake's Avatar
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    Get on my level misc

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  20. #20
    lol wut? slvrgtmiscer's Avatar
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    If you're desi_guy, just use your friends hand.
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  21. #21
    ⊙▂⊙ cyde's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lakersbake View Post
    BRB going to Home Depot tomorrow to install one of these on my toilet.
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  22. #22
    Registered User stoneking's Avatar
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    Damn it op you are the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. ****ing act like it!
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  23. #23
    Probably drunk m1lk's Avatar
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    How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 1.

    Now you can begin wiping. It is important that you remain seated for the duration of the procedure, as this ensures proper area coverage and meticulous cleansing. Start out with a decent size wad of tissue; three balled-up squares should be plenty.



    Three squares should be enough to start.

    Reach around and behind your butt, and lean onto the opposing cheek.



    It's crucial to remain seated.

    Wipe with the pointer, middle, and ring fingers of your acting hand under the toilet paper. Have your middle finger slightly raised with your pointer and ring fingers resting partially behind.



    Proper pressure and finger placement.

    Use moderate pressure and wipe at a cautious speed from front to back. Continue with this step, using the same size wad of tissue, until the amount of remnants on the paper decreases by fifty percent.



    Front to back, ladies!




    How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 2.

    When obvious progress has been made, the amount of tissue required should be reduced. Two crumpled squares should be enough at this stage.



    Two squares is all you'll need now.

    Follow the directions of Step 1 (with the reduced paper amount), using increasing pressure with each wipe. Continue until the amount of remnants on the tissue decreases to a small amount.



    Be sure to check your progress.


    How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 3.

    The paper quantity should now be decreased to one folded square. This really is sufficient. Really.



    All you'll need now is one square.

    Again, repeat the wiping directions from Step 1, but now you should be using significant (though not excessive) pressure. As you pass over your anus, relax the sphincter muscles and slightly press the pad of your middle finger into the opening, continuing the progression from front to back. Repeat this step until there is very little to no remnants transferring onto the paper.



    Don't be afraid to enter, just a little.


    To be continued...
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  24. #24
    Registered User sellerdoar's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Lakersbake View Post
    Get on my level misc

    is that an ass hose attached to your toilet?
    no shower crew
    no eat crew
    no sleep crew
    no talk crew
    no poop crew
    no clothes crew
    no house crew
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  25. #25
    Probably drunk m1lk's Avatar
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    How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 4.

    Now you are ready for the final cleansing stage. Using a wet wipe, repeat Step 3 until absolutely no remnants remain. You may use moist wipes designed for adult bathroom use or baby wipes.



    Wet wipes: modern civilization at its finest.

    This is an oft-ignored step to the wiping process, but one that should never be passed up. In this step, you are ensuring a fresh, thorough clean that is second only to a bath or shower, greatly reducing or eliminating any staining, odor, or itching that may occur later.


    How To Wipe Your Butt: Step 5.

    The toilet should now be flushed.



    Don't forget!

    Adjust your clothing as necessary.



    Double check your fly.

    Wash your hands with soap and water.



    Scrub.

    You may light a match and/or a candle for the consideration of subsequent bathroom users.

    Congratulations! You have successfully wiped your butt and may proceed throughout your day with confidence.
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  26. #26
    Registered User doughnutking's Avatar
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    Toilet roll to wipe then scrub with the toilet brush then wash with wet wipe, and dry with toilet roll or gf's dressing gown if it is hanging on the door.
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  27. #27
    Registered User wrathofhan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by m1lk View Post
    All you'll need now is one square.
    No thanks, Jeff.
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  28. #28
    Registered User Vindicate's Avatar
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    just wipe till it bleeds, then u know its cleaned
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  29. #29
    Registered User ijjy's Avatar
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    Water, haters gon hate, wipe all you want you're still going to have **** particles left on your ass. Water gets it all off.
    ΦΔΘ

    u mirin bruh?

    i rep back
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  30. #30
    No Deadlifts Lakersbake's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by sellerdoar View Post
    is that an ass hose attached to your toilet?
    fuk ya
    Voluntarism Crew
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