Training your significant other

[titusricard]

Now I don't want to get into too much detail and make this a rant, but from my personal experience, training my gf has proven to be my biggest challenge (keep in my mind, I'm training her for free after a full day of work). Shows up late, complains the whole time, & refuses to listen. Can't cue or correct her because then (according to her) I'd be treating her like a "client" 0_o wth?

I've asked other trainers I work with if they've done the same and they don't think it's a bad idea. They, like myself got WAY more static and resistance along with a diva like attitude from their significant others. Husbands or wives, gf or bf, it didn't matter, same result.

With that, I've noticed a lot of clients coming in whose S/O are trainers that refuse to train them and i can't help but think that their reasoning is from what I'm going through. So my fellow trainers, have you experienced this? What are your thoughts and opinions?

[KyleAaron]

The Fitness Australia Code of Ethics says that a trainer should not form a personal relationship with a client which would compromise the professional relationship. What they mean is "don't bonk the crew", but it applies to guys going out drinking together, etc.

The flipside is that you should not form a professional relationship which would compromise the personal relationship. Don't train your girlfriend, husband or whatever. Get someone else to train them. An effective-PT client relationship requires that the client trust and respect you as a fitness professional. They can't do that if they've seen you drunk in a gutter, or getting up naked in the middle of the night to go to the toilet and scratching your arse along the way. They'll always argue with you, cajole, persuade, whinge, and generally be a pain in the arse to train.

As well, whenever you train someone entirely for free things will turn nasty. That's because when a paying client pisses you off by being late, absent, lazy or just generally annoying, well at least you have their money. But if they're being trained entirely for free, your tolerance for all that normal bullsht is very very short. Combine that short tolerance with an intimate relationship outside the gym, and... it just doesn't work, mate.

Get someone else to train her.

My wife might ask for a programme from time to time, or form checks if she's maxing out, but a tip here or there isn't training them. I just offer distant encouragement, and she doesn't go to the gym where I work. And she's ended up stronger than any of my current women clients, so it's worked out fine for her.

Get someone else to train your woman.

[WoofieNugget]

Yup - recipe for disaster. I told my wife specifically that if she wants a trainer then we pay for it. She is then obligated to show up and not waste our money and is accountable for being a good client as well.

Working out WITH your wife/girlfriend - sure. Having her as a client, forget it.

[jdalsim]

I tried it a couple times and she ends up crying because "i push her too hard" or "it hurts" I get called a nazi. Sorry, I'm a former boxer and wasn't given any breaks so tha's the style I adopted in training.

Best to not do it.

[PeteratCastle]

Yup - recipe for disaster. I told my wife specifically that if she wants a trainer then we pay for it. She is then obligated to show up and not waste our money and is accountable for being a good client as well.

Working out WITH your wife/girlfriend - sure. Having her as a client, forget it.

This. I used to train my wife, now I just do program design for her every now and again. If she wants to train she can do it by herself, I'm not training her anymore.

[Garage Rat]

Hard if not impossible to do.
I've tried a couple times with my wife and what you mentioned is right on.
I would recommend she get another trainer even if she has to pay so that back talk and whining won't happen.
The other option is to have her get a training partner to train with her when you train her.
I also have the same issues with my sons.
I dont put up with back talk or not wanting to do what i recommend and it is very frustrating when all you want is the best for them.
They don't talk to teachers or coaches at school that way but manage to with a family member.
So try to gently recommend she use someone else.
Tell it's hard for you to push her hard because you don't want her to be upset with you.
Good luck!

[Kataz]

I've trained my S/O but I didn't have a lot of the issues you do. If she's not willing to take your advice as a trainer, then why train her? The ONLY reason its worked for me is that she likes turning her mind off and trying a new routine every so often. If you can't close that personal-professional gap, you're wasting your time.

[Footballa_19]

Training with the significant other wasn't training at all for me, it was simply surviving! There's just no way to talk to them like a client. Once my girl had her form right and I could trust her with weight, I just wrote her workouts and said there ya go, have at it!

[Kataz]

Training with the significant other wasn't training at all for me, it was simply surviving! There's just no way to talk to them like a client. Once my girl had her form right and I could trust her with weight, I just wrote her workouts and said there ya go, have at it!

LOL yes. OP, you have opened a very dangerous door. Good luck to you sir.

[titusricard]

Put her through a TRX workout she enjoyed. Got no static from her for the first time. Maybe she's lurking the forum. We'll see what happens tonight.......

[sonti]

I am guessing this is far more difficult for men training their wives/girlfriends. I had a boyfriend once upon a time who only ran and did P90X. I was doing Starting Strength at the time. I told him to read the book, we worked on it together, and many moons later, he has a proper 400lb+ squat. So I married him! (well, he had other qualities). I don't think this would have worked well in the reverse.