I won't post her profile but here are the details, i know it's weird but i actually find her incredibly attractive personality wise lol
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My self-summary
Arrogant and narcissistic with a heart of gold.
My personality is usually described to me as witty and charming, with a hint of goofiness. I have a dry sense of humor, and unless you know my personality, most people can't discern whether or not I'm joking. Sometimes, it feels like my life is an inside joke that I forget to clue people into.
I prefer solitude over large groups of people, but I have my moments of needing to go out and get my drink bumped out of my hand by oblivious drunk girls lacking the ability to properly walk in their heels.
I'm an LA native, selectively affectionate, favor vanilla to chocolate, and am more likely to message you if you have a hairless cat or Frenchie.
What I’m doing with my life
- growing my hair to mermaid lengths so I never have to wear a shirt again
- making decisions that turn into good experiences or good stories
- pre-reqs for dental school/trying to find somebody to do my math and science courses.
- making a blog filled with the terrible messages I receive. I apologize if you get put on here, but you probably deserve it. *warning* if you send me a super creepy/rude message with your phone number in it, I'm likely not going to even bother removing your personal information before posting screenshots
I’m really good at
- Driving terribly, parking even worse, baking, eating, staying up ridiculously late, not cleaning out my emails, not paying attention to movies.
The first things people usually notice about me
After asking several people I’ve gotten the following responses:
”Wow, your boobs have gotten bigger” after realizing I wanted a better answer she said ”You have a big heart and you like taking care of people, you’re very maternal” - my mother (thanks, Mom)
”That’s the hottest bitch I’ve seen in a long time!” random drunk chick
”Wow! That girl smells really ****ing good!” - guy walking past me, whispering loudly to his friend
"You look so glamorous, and I love your hair!"- the cutest little, old lady ever.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: White Girl Problems
Movies: Heathers, Black Swan, The Fifth Element, Teen Witch, Old Boy, I Saw the Devil, Rugrats in Paris
Shows: Suits, True Blood, Game of Thrones, Battelstar Galactica, Workaholics, Archer, Breaking Bad, The Killing, Real Housewives of BH/ATL/NJ/Vancouver (what's the shortened form of Vancouver?), Shahs of Sunset, Ancient Aliens, TEDTalks
Music: M83, The Weeknd, The xx, Rihanna, Lykke Li, Lana Del Rey, Beyonce, Adele, The Wanted, Godney Spears, Drake, Circa Survive (pretty much anything involving Anthony Green), Dashboard Confessional, AFI, Elton John, Yeezus West, Frank Ocean, Kid Cudi, "Bandz A Make Her Dance" station on Pandora
Food: steak, mashed potatoes, cheesy bread from Fogo de Chao, cupcakes, sushi, Thai, Indian, Korean, Mexican, Italian, waffles, breakfast (no sausage, and extra crispy bacon).
The six things I could never do without
1. Maslow's hiearchy of needs
2. Helmut Lang tops
3. pussy
4. money
5. weed
6. Speculoos Crunchy Cookie Butter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
- why do I still eat ice cream and milkshakes knowing I'm lactose intolerant.
On a typical Friday night I am
Recovering from my early Pilates class, getting high and zoning out to Community, then occasionally bar hopping.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
- Once, I was pumping gas in my car, when I saw a spider crawling on my window. As I screamed, a black lady driving by told me, "Don't be scared, gurl! It'll be ok!". Every time I get nervous, I hear that black lady yelling at me, and I'm instantly comforted.
- The first thing I do when I click on somebody's profile is go to their pictures and ask myself two things; 1) can I actually picture this person ****ing me, and 2) would we look cute together in our ******** profile photos
- there was once a time where I was getting random, unsolicited penis pictures weekly for 3 months straight, all from different people. I haven't gotten one in almost a year now, and it makes me a little sad.
- I'm 97% sure I have a guardian angel. Either that or I assume most of the things I do are more dangerous than they actually are.
I’m looking for
Straight guys only
Ages 26–38
Near me
For new friends, activity partners
You should message me if
- You don't mind that you're probably just going to become material for my blog.
- You have something interesting to say. Please stop boring me with messages along the lines of "hey I'm Mike how's it going?". I'm fine, my day is awesome, my weekend was great, not much is going on, and to be honest, I don't really care about your name just yet.
- You don't dress like you still live in whatever butt-**** Egypt town you moved from.
Bookmarks