GF of 7 1/2 years just ended it with me

[Syfon]

Morning everyone,

Over the last week or so, my girlfriend (now ex) has been distancing herself from me. We have been together for 7 and a half years, and within the last 2 years everything was perfect. Our relationship was going from strength to strength and I was ready to propose to her as I wanted a life with her.

Then last Friday she sent me a text saying she thinks she has outgrown me and doesn't love me any more. I was kind of shell-shocked, as I had absolutely no idea what to say to her. To cut a long story short, she told me after 7 years that she no longer loves me and that she has grown apart from me.

As I said, our relationship was great, and I really felt she was the girl I wanted to spend my life with. My family absolutely loved her, her family loved me, she was faithful to me and I was to her.

After a few more texts, she told she it was unfair of her to do this to me and drag me along while "thinking" about whether she wanted to continue on with me, so she broke it off with me. She said the usual "i really care for you, and i don't want to hurt you etc". She's good friends with my best-mates gf, and my mates gf has been talking to me saying that my ex is really sad and upset and bla bla bla.

This happened Friday just gone, and it's starting to sink in that we are actually broken up. What makes it worse, I am house-sitting my brothers place while he is in New York for 3weeks, so I'm lonely.

It's the first time for me being single in a long farkin time - what do you guys suggest? I'm at work at the moment, just went to subway for lunch and got the number of the brunette bird who served me. I know a lot of you guys will say to go out and just root, and I will (considering I have my brothers house for 3 weeks), but how can I try and overcome the feeling of loneliness as quick as possible.

I have absolutely no intentions of getting back with my ex. As much as I miss her right now and still think about her, I do not want to get back together with her.

Any suggestions?

Funnily enough, after 7 years, I am still head over heels in love with her and care about her immensely....

What do brahs?

[Brandon0212]

After 7 years of dating she didn't really give you a legit reason for breaking up. 7 years brah and she left just like that?

I don't even know what to say man. Take my measleys

[Syfon]

Also, no pics. I have many "pics" etc, but I respect her too much to do that.

Even though we broke up etc - no pics will be posted. So please respect and don't ask.

^^^ Thanks mate - it's kind of hard but I suppose it is better that it happened now rather than 5 years later when married etc.

[Jasonw1178]

Sorry dude, really sucks. Maybe she'll come around. I hope you'll be okay. It's not the end of the world, although it may seem that way.

[Syfon]

Sorry dude, really sucks. Maybe she'll come around. I hope you'll be okay. It's not the end of the world, although it may seem that way.

Thanks bro. Even if she does, I don't want to get back with her.

She was marriage material too. Tall, blonde, DD's, long legs, earning real good money, almost finished her degree, came from a great family.

FML

[ltrrtl218]

Wow that's really harsh. I wish I knew how a girl can be with a guy for so long and then move on. I feel girls move on much more easily than guys do.

[JihadMeAtHello]

Broke up little over a year ago after 5 years. Sucked for 2 weeks then I realized it was a blessing in disguise. I have had more fun the past 12 months than in the previous 60. You are young; go have fun and worry about marriage in 6-7 years

[SpartanTraining]

if she didn't OFFER legit reasons than she is clearly not wifey material.

you are gonna want to look for closure -- don't -- that will only hurt more.

you don't want to know.

no advice will make the next couple months better, but go out, lift, and acquire companionship (friends, girls...occasional sex, doesnt matter)

[CuriosityBrah]

Ok listen up OP bro,
for me longest i went through was a 4.5 yr relationship so i can bear to imagine the heart break ur going through, its tough i know.
I'm much better now though.
Now for you, the hardest thing will be waking up in the morning, thats when it will eat at your gut and kick at you. But you see it's kinda like a hole, she left now you got a gap there, so you gotta fill that up either real fast, or fill it up with good quality people in your lives, your friends here are important and key.

It's good that you don't want to get back together with her, that's the correct mindset, because really - why would you want to take someone back who gave up on you?

Meet new people, get out there in the world, enjoy the simple things in life, appreciate things.
Best thing for me after my break up was meeting new chicks, and just going out with them, even do stuff like go out shopping with them, get them to pick new outfits for you, be a 'new' you.
Soon as you got your mind on another girl, your ex is faded and gone, won't hurt as much.

[Igmann]

After 7 years of dating she didn't really give you a legit reason for breaking up. 7 years brah and she left just like that?

I don't even know what to say man. Take my measleys

This is a pretty legit reason:

...she told me after 7 years that she no longer loves me and that she has grown apart from me.

People just grow apart sometimes.

[Fiz-iks]

That really sucks brah. Stop talking to your mate's gf about her though. Every single word you say is being transmitted back to your ex.

Also good on you for getting a girls number today. I think you'll be ok after all this. It will be hard for a few weeks but as you find things to occupy your time you'll be less and less lonely.

[Syfon]

Thanks heaps for all of your advice.

I just came back from coffee (1pm for me atm) with another bird I've known for a while - seem to be hitting it off fairly well with her. Great thing is that whilst I was having coffee/chatting with her, I didn't even think about my ex. I simply enjoyed the time with this girl and she even kissed me when she said goodbye

Guys please don't flame me for this - but as for lifting, I've never really done it. Being with my gf for 7 years, i guess i became comfortable and didn't see the need to lift. I play indoor soccer twice a week so im fit and what-not, just a bit of a manlet.

I guess this has never been a better time to start lifting and become a better me.

Actually, fuk it. I've got a weight set at home and a small gym machine at my parents - I'm going to start using it tonight. Never been a better time!

[Mr Beer]

Cut all contact with her 100%, she is having a sook and wants you to know she's not happy so she doesn't feel like the bad guy. That's good for her psyche but no use at all to you. Besides you are going to feel pretty awful as soon as you find out she's with someone else. That's not going to take long and don't be surprised if it started prior to her breaking up with you.

As said above, stop talking to her friend as well.

Box up everything that's hers or reminds you of her and pick between hiding it in some place you never go to, dumping it or drop it off at her parent's place when she isn't there.

You sounds like you're either looking at her with rose-tinted glasses a bit *, so it's important you get some distance and perspective. It may be OK to talk to one day but for your sake, not for a long time.

* For example, you say how completely awesome she is but her reason for breaking up is 'I've outgrown you'. Makes her sound like a pretentious kunt for a start.

[Syfon]

Cut all contact with her 100%, she is having a sook and wants you to know she's not happy so she doesn't feel like the bad guy. That's good for her psyche but no use at all to you. Besides you are going to feel pretty awful as soon as you find out she's with someone else. That's not going to take long and don't be surprised if it started prior to her breaking up with you.

As said above, stop talking to her friend as well.

Box up everything that's hers or reminds you of her and pick between hiding it in some place you never go to, dumping it or drop it off at her parent's place when she isn't there.

You sounds like you're either looking at her with rose-tinted glasses a bit *, so it's important you get some distance and perspective. It may be OK to talk to one day but for your sake, not for a long time.

* For example, you say how completely awesome she is but her reason for breaking up is 'I've outgrown you'. Makes her sound like a pretentious kunt for a start.

For sure - I know I will feel like complete chit once I find out she is with another guy. That's the nature of it, isn't it?

It's actually not that easy not to talk to "her" friend. As stated, she is my best mates gf, and I've known her for a long time so I'm not going to cut contact with her. I actually don't care if things get back to my ex. She broke up with me and if she wants me back, it's not going to happen. I have no interest in getting back with my ex now.

Yeah I've got a few photos of her at home in frames etc - i'll box it all up and chuck it in the bin or something.

What makes it worse is i brought a house 2 years ago with my brother, and we brought across the park from my now ex. Was just a great find re the house etc. However, my gf's mum has just brought another house so she will be moving soon anyway.

Yeah I do agree with you - thanks for your advice

[Mr Beer]

I actually don't care if things get back to my ex. She broke up with me and if she wants me back, it's not going to happen. I have no interest in getting back with my ex now.

Good attitude. Well if you're going to keep chatting with her, just make sure you don't pour your heart out about how sad you're feeling (if that's what you feel). Your life is great.

[Syfon]

Good attitude. Well if you're going to keep chatting with her, just make sure you don't pour your heart out about how sad you're feeling (if that's what you feel). Your life is great.

Well I am feeling pretty sad but I guess that's perfectly normal. I've talked to her a bit and my mates gf has messaged/called me just to ask how I am to which I replied "Ok, bit sad, but I'm going along ok".

I know things will get better - just takes time....

[bluejay83]

I really felt she was the girl I wanted to spend my life with.

I have absolutely no intentions of getting back with my ex. As much as I miss her right now and still think about her, I do not want to get back together with her.

Funnily enough, after 7 years, I am still head over heels in love with her and care about her immensely....

What do brahs?

interesting turns you made there

-you want to spend your life with her
-you dont want her back
-head over heels for her

[Syfon]

interesting turns you made there

-you want to spend your life with her
-you dont want her back
-head over heels for her

I understand what you're saying, but after what she has done etc, I have no interest in getting back with.

I did want to spend my life with her, and I still love her, but that will most definitely change with time.

[rbsx]

This is a pretty legit reason:



People just grow apart sometimes.

Or after 7 years of being with the same guy and him not popping the question - you have to wonder if there is even the point anymore.

Dating and any year after 4-5 makes no sense.

[chirashi]

Sorry man, that's rough. Had a breakup in the summer from a 2.5+ year gf...so I know similar feels..

Honestly, it is going to suck for a while. You'll be happy one day, then the next one you'll have dreams about her that you can't shake out. It's a roller coaster. Try to stay near people and keep yourself busy. You come to realize who the important people are in your life. Pick up new hobbies with all your new free time. I picked up cooking and re-picked up piano and it's helped quite a bit.

You have to give yourself time to feel like crap as well. Don't be down on yourself: we are all human. Feeling sad is natural as long as you don't sit and mope with ALL your time. (Hence keep busy)

Above all else, stay No Contact. I broke it a few weeks after the breakup for my last "closure". Since then, I've been a steady 7 months and it has made a world of difference. Delete her off ******** so you don't snoop and post in the No Contact thread if you get tempted..

With time, things will get better. Don't sweat it too much with girls right now and focus on healing yourself. 7.5 years is a long time so take it easy. We're all going to make it.

[NYCBrah19]

You got a good attitude about it OP, you'll be good. Remember you're only 24. I know I don't wanna get married until at least 30 so you got time to enjoy yourself.

[Syfon]

Or after 7 years of being with the same guy and him not popping the question - you have to wonder if there is even the point anymore.

Dating and any year after 4-5 makes no sense.

We had a holiday planned to Chicago & New York for Xmas and New Years 2013/14, and I was going to pop the question on NYE in New York. I had already started looking at rings etc and was very close to buying one. Just as well I didn't.

Sorry man, that's rough. Had a breakup in the summer from a 2.5+ year gf...so I know similar feels..

Honestly, it is going to suck for a while. You'll be happy one day, then the next one you'll have dreams about her that you can't shake out. It's a roller coaster. Try to stay near people and keep yourself busy. You come to realize who the important people are in your life. Pick up new hobbies with all your new free time. I picked up cooking and re-picked up piano and it's helped quite a bit.

You have to give yourself time to feel like crap as well. Don't be down on yourself: we are all human. Feeling sad is natural as long as you don't sit and mope with ALL your time. (Hence keep busy)

Above all else, stay No Contact. I broke it a few weeks after the breakup for my last "closure". Since then, I've been a steady 7 months and it has made a world of difference. Delete her off ******** so you don't snoop and post in the No Contact thread if you get tempted..

With time, things will get better. Don't sweat it too much with girls right now and focus on healing yourself. 7.5 years is a long time so take it easy. We're all going to make it.

Yeah I'm trying to do things to keep my mind off it. Just going out with some mates, continuing with my study and just other bits and bobs.

I know I'll get better in time.

Yeah, I'm going to get into lifting and bulk up a bit. Why not - I have more time on my hands now that now gf isn't in the picture.

[rbsx]

We had a holiday planned to Chicago & New York for Xmas and New Years 2013/14, and I was going to pop the question on NYE in New York. I had already started looking at rings etc and was very close to buying one. Just as well I didn't.



Yeah I'm trying to do things to keep my mind off it. Just going out with some mates, continuing with my study and just other bits and bobs.

I know I'll get better in time.

Yeah, I'm going to get into lifting and bulk up a bit. Why not - I have more time on my hands now that now gf isn't in the picture.

yeah okay - so after 8 1/2 years?

Seems like you're someone who's okay with not acting with urgency, and that probably rustled her jimmies.

[Syfon]

Just so you guys know what she looks like

IMG_20130112_225636.jpg

[Syfon]

yeah okay - so after 8 1/2 years?

Seems like you're someone who's okay with not acting with urgency, and that probably rustled her jimmies.

she knew i wanted to get engaged....

[porcupinetree]

It's pretty interesting how things work.
When a girl dumps a guy, no reasons are given, just generic crap like "I just don't feel it" or "We've grown apart"
There are real reasons. But those are the standard issues. But I am sure there is much more to it than that.

But when a guy dumps a girl, the chick just goes crazy, crying, begging for another chance, demanding to know why why why!!!!

At least, that has been my experience.

[rbsx]

she knew i wanted to get engaged....

Well you didn't just go ahead and do it. From experience, that's what girls want to see - forward progression.

[anyusername]

7 years over text? wtf?

[Syfon]

Yeah - I would have preferred it to be face to face. But I'm actually happy it was over text. Less sh!t to deal with.

Brahs, I'm off to uni now. Keep posting here and offering advice - also, what do you think of her? Pic embedded above.

I'll check back tomorrow morning when I get into the office.

Cheers all

[Efilon]

Also, no pics. I have many "pics" etc, but I respect her too much to do that.

Even though we broke up etc - no pics will be posted. So please respect and don't ask.

Just so you guys know what she looks like
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/attach...3&d=1362985334

Lol

Ex broke up with me for the same reasons, I know that feel. Feels like there is some other reason behind it.
I'm confused by your statement about how you didn't see the point in lifting because you had a gf..
Please don't think people only lift for girls.