Help...

[fanito]

I'm 36 and I can't take it anymore... I gained weight, I have no motivation and I know I have a problem. I know that I might not be as fat as I could be but my current weight is 218.6lbs and I'm 5'11". You might say that is not THAT bad... but unfortunately to me it is. My fat is accumulates in my belly and my chin so I look quite disproportionate. I've read about clean eating, I know about exercising and I've tried to start this journey. I am getting tired and frustrated. I would love to be 180(ish) at some point but I just can't seem to get motivated enough to do it.

Recently I discovered the "apparently" supereasy DASH diet but it wasn't that simple and is not laid out that easy (well, the general guidelines are easy, the receipe making not so much). I'm not following it 100% because for a one person serving, having to make a fancy small dinner is not that appealing. Ugh, I hate dieting...

Now to the other fun fact in my life... my girlfriend. She is overweight too, more than I am (245lb and 5'8"). She is doing diettogo with the low carb option. I guess she might be in the right path but I just can't afford that... it's $180 per week! That's $720/month for 1 person... I think I can eat comfortably at $400/mth (I mean, anyone can). She doesn't go to the gym and now is resorting to xBox kinect to do her workout... at least is something... I don't even do that. I am so afraid that my knees and my body is going to hurt the next day (DOMS) that I don't even start. Also, she keeps asking me what is the reason of trying to loose weight and if it is because I want to find someone else... She doesn't wan't me to loose weight for fear of me "trying" or "thinking" that I can find someone else at 36... that makes me really sad because that is not the case.

I really miss my 20's, I was 182lb and full of energy, I was in the army and was able to run without getting too tired. I quit smoking 4 years ago and was the best decision ever (BTW, my girlfriend smokes like a chimney, ugh..., at the beginning was though but now I always try to get her to stop because she coughs so much).

2 years ago I created my BB account, I set my goals, did my motivation levels, went to the gym (5 times) and that was it... it crumbled again (before I was 209lb)... so yay! I gained fat! [<~ read as sarcasm]

I guess after telling you my story I am just asking for some help, not sympathy because I have a rocky relationship with someone that likes to put me down for what I want, no, I need your help to help me find the right path... here's the thing... there are soooo many paths in this website that I don't know where to start. I've read the n00b lose fat thread whatever and the shred this and that but nothing really that can show me a clear path. I mean, I'll diet if it's simple (and good) but people here have tremendous will power that I just do not. I need to start somewhere.

Thank you for reading my rambling... I'm tired of carrying the extra 40lbs of me and I think I am ready

I really need help

Thanks

[BillyBobJimboJr]

I'm out of shape and have the fat thing going in my mid section too. I joined a gym 4 months ago and have seen little progress in appearance but feel tones better. I do feel a toning beneath the surface but nobody can tell a difference without feeling my arms, shoulders, and legs but it's there. Joining the gym has been the best decision I could have made for my health. I wish I would have done this back in my 20's but I waited until my late 30's to join the gym for the first time in my life.

As for the monthly food costs, I wouldn't do that. You can eat healthy on a budget, I know because I have to. Go to the grocery store and shop mainly on the outer edges of the store and you'll find most of the healthy foods there, the inner isles are usually the junk food. I shop at Kroger in the town I live but most big name grocery stores have a similar layout.

[kenny85]

Read the nutrition stickies. Take your time and really read thru them. Whatever she's doing for $180 a week is a scam. Sorry to burst your bubble but my grocery bill at Walmart is that for 2 weeks and I'm feeding 3 people. You are somewhat motivated tho, because if you weren't you wouldn't of gotten on here and told us you're tired of it. Whether or not you change it, that's all on you!

Read the stickies, determine what your maintenance calories are and eat at a deficit of 250-300 under that.

[JMcC775]

If you don't have the motivation to change your own life than just leave now and be unhappy. If you want to come on here and get advice and vent about your unhappiness then you need to commit. You can't half ass this diet because to me it's lifestyle now. If you don't commit and back out then you don't really want to change. Let us know what you decide.

[JChaos]

If you fail due to motivation and giving up I highly recommend a mental health counselor. After all eating is tied to emotions.

[BillyBobJimboJr]

If you don't have the motivation to change your own life than just leave now and be unhappy. If you want to come on here and get advice and vent about your unhappiness then you need to commit. You can't half ass this diet because to me it's lifestyle now. If you don't commit and back out then you don't really want to change. Let us know what you decide.

If you fail due to motivation and giving up I highly recommend a mental health counselor. After all eating is tied to emotions.

Not exactly helpful to someone who is seeking help to stay motivated to reach their goal. Everyone is different and sometimes when you start out full of motivation something happens or doesn't happen with not achieving the results you have hoped for and it really can knock a persons motivation down a few notches. That doesn't mean they need professional mental help, it just means they need a little encouragement to keep at it instead of negative comments.

If all someone has is a negative comment, you're better off not even commenting because that's surely not helpful at all.

[fanito]

It took me a few days to try post in the forums (and in the right forum, mind you) and I must say that I wasn't expecting really "tough love" but I guess some people don't like other people whine about their problems, and yes, that is the solely reason I chose to use the motivation forum.

BillyBobJimboJr, thank you!

To JMcC775 and JChaos, thank you as well for taking your time to write, I do to appreciate your time.

Kenny85, I tried to read the stickies but they are kinda confusing with all the lingo (that I don't know yet! hehe) Anyway, I am spending a full day getting there!

By the way, I lost 5lbs (I assume is just water weight) but at least is something... still, haven't muster the energy to workout

Thank you guys!

[kenny85]

Don't take the tough love as negative, everybody is just being honest. If everybody sugar coated it then you wouldn't get pissed off enough to change.

5lbs is a good start. Your not going to understand all the nutrition stuff overnight so don't worry. Main thing is to get into a routine of going to the gym and getting in good workouts. Good thing for you is you have a gf who has the same goals as you. Just be patient, you didn't gain weight overnight so you can't expect to lose it overnight. Good luck!

[thatguy99]

I'm 36 and I can't take it anymore... I gained weight, I have no motivation and I know I have a problem. I know that I might not be as fat as I could be but my current weight is 218.6lbs and I'm 5'11". You might say that is not THAT bad... but unfortunately to me it is. My fat is accumulates in my belly and my chin so I look quite disproportionate. I've read about clean eating, I know about exercising and I've tried to start this journey. I am getting tired and frustrated. I would love to be 180(ish) at some point but I just can't seem to get motivated enough to do it.

Recently I discovered the "apparently" supereasy DASH diet but it wasn't that simple and is not laid out that easy (well, the general guidelines are easy, the receipe making not so much). I'm not following it 100% because for a one person serving, having to make a fancy small dinner is not that appealing. Ugh, I hate dieting...

Now to the other fun fact in my life... my girlfriend. She is overweight too, more than I am (245lb and 5'8"). She is doing diettogo with the low carb option. I guess she might be in the right path but I just can't afford that... it's $180 per week! That's $720/month for 1 person... I think I can eat comfortably at $400/mth (I mean, anyone can). She doesn't go to the gym and now is resorting to xBox kinect to do her workout... at least is something... I don't even do that. I am so afraid that my knees and my body is going to hurt the next day (DOMS) that I don't even start. Also, she keeps asking me what is the reason of trying to loose weight and if it is because I want to find someone else... She doesn't wan't me to loose weight for fear of me "trying" or "thinking" that I can find someone else at 36... that makes me really sad because that is not the case.

I really miss my 20's, I was 182lb and full of energy, I was in the army and was able to run without getting too tired. I quit smoking 4 years ago and was the best decision ever (BTW, my girlfriend smokes like a chimney, ugh..., at the beginning was though but now I always try to get her to stop because she coughs so much).

2 years ago I created my BB account, I set my goals, did my motivation levels, went to the gym (5 times) and that was it... it crumbled again (before I was 209lb)... so yay! I gained fat! [<~ read as sarcasm]

I guess after telling you my story I am just asking for some help, not sympathy because I have a rocky relationship with someone that likes to put me down for what I want, no, I need your help to help me find the right path... here's the thing... there are soooo many paths in this website that I don't know where to start. I've read the n00b lose fat thread whatever and the shred this and that but nothing really that can show me a clear path. I mean, I'll diet if it's simple (and good) but people here have tremendous will power that I just do not. I need to start somewhere.

Thank you for reading my rambling... I'm tired of carrying the extra 40lbs of me and I think I am ready

I really need help

Thanks

hey fanito you might look up the couch to 5k program and iphone app. it free and pretty much starts you at a zero fitness level (below where you are now to the point that it's too easy and tempting to skip ahead, but don't skip if you're worried about getting an injury). take it a little slower than the program recommends and maybe getting some cardio fitness will bump up your energy and motivation to hit the gym. worst case you'll still lose a few pounds from 1.5 hr cardio per week. need decent running shoes obviously. good luck

[Thunder326]

Alright bud I too am 36 5'11" and in the past year I've gone from 273 to 230 with the help of a personal trainer and a whole lot of discipline. THis is what I've learned.

1. Lose the ego when you walking in the gym, this means drop the amount of weight. I was repping 225 on the bench and thought I was awesome but didn't realize that I was doing it wrong. Literally went from 225 to 115 and was getting a better workout because I was using the muscle properly.

2. Cardio sucks but necessary. I have never been a runner, after football as a kid the army and years of martial arts training my feet can't take much but I can walk up a hill for 20 minutes. 20 minutes on a treadmill at varying level (generally from level 9 to level 15 evey 5 minutes) is enough. Going ballz out will just tear you apart.

3. Diet. I still don't understand a lot of the jargon that is thrown around so this is what I know. You should eat about every 2 hours and take the right supplements. You can get all the needed stuff from diet alone but I don't know how to do that so I use protein powder, CLA, fish oil, OxyElite (fat burner 2 per day), Aftershock (Post lifting drink to help muscles recover), Amino Energy (Preworkout), Xtend (Intraworkout BCAAs). And most important allow yourself ONE cheat meal per week or you sabotage everything.

4. Write down your goals not in pounds because the scale doesn't tell you how you look or feel.

To keep your girlfriend from feeling insecure suggest that the both you and your girl go together and workout with a trainer. It costs money but why waste time just spinning in cirlcles thinking you know more than them. Shop around and find someone both of you can work with (if you lady is feeling insecure find a dude to work with). Personally I went to the the trainer that looked the way I want to and asked for his help.

Now think of every excuse you can and try to tell me I'm wrong...
...
...
When you're done with that realize they're excuses to be lazy and that the only thing holding you back is you. Where there is a will there is a way bud. Good luck and I hope you get what you need.