Advise for the wife

[nowheateater]

So as I get my diet and exercise dialed in my wife can't seem to get anywhere and she is getting mad at me... she has a decent amount of weight to lose and has tried just about every fad/ gimmick diet that promise magic weight loss and even been prescribed Medifast from our Dr. to no avail. I have talked to her about trying something like SS along with some cardio (which she insists is the only way to exercise for weight loss) even though I am down almost 100lbs with very little cardio. She has this crazy belief that she will get big and bulky from free weights (if only it were that easy...) I'm not sure if macros would be the same ratios ie: .8-1g protien , .4-.5g fats and fill in with carbs. And if SS is a good plan along with some cardio. So ask here as you all have helped me more than you know Any advise would be great thanks

Brian

[Flounderbout]

So as I get my diet and exercise dialed in my wife can't seem to get anywhere and she is getting mad at me... she has a decent amount of weight to lose and has tried just about every fad/ gimmick diet that promise magic weight loss and even been prescribed Medifast from our Dr. to no avail. I have talked to her about trying something like SS along with some cardio (which she insists is the only way to exercise for weight loss) even though I am down almost 100lbs with very little cardio. She has this crazy belief that she will get big and bulky from free weights (if only it were that easy...) I'm not sure if macros would be the same ratios ie: .8-1g protien , .4-.5g fats and fill in with carbs. And if SS is a good plan along with some cardio. So ask here as you all have helped me more than you know Any advise would be great thanks

Brian

My advice is never to give advice to one's wife. Leads to injury or worse...

[nowheateater]

My advice is never to give advice to one's wife. Leads to injury or worse...

Lol totally agree but she is asking me to help her... I know this can go really well or REALLY bad. Plus I can just blame the Internet if it goes bad

[medjen]

Lol totally agree but she is asking me to help her... I know this can go really well or REALLY bad. Plus I can just blame the Internet if it goes bad

Get her to join up and do some research on her own, either here or over in the women's section. Then she can't blame you at all.

[ironwill2008]

She has this crazy belief that she will get big and bulky from free weights...

Of course that's not what will happen, but if that's what she believes, no one can change that but her.


A more-appropriate program for her (compared to Starting Strength) would be this one:
*Routine: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=4195843



As far as cardio being effective for "weight" loss, that not true at all. As it's name implies, cardiovascular exercise is efficient at only one thing--promoting heart and lung health. It's an inefficient way of using time and effort if the goal is to drop body fat. IOW, I can spend an hour on a treadmill (or whatever), and maybe "burn" a couple of hundred calories. Or, I can just not eat two or three slices of plain bread (or equivalent) and save that same amount of calories.


Changes in body composition (i.e., losing fat) is the job of calorie control, and is most efficiently brought about by that means. Find maintenance calorie level, and then consistently eat somewhere between 10 and 20% below that figure. If weight training is added to the mix (IMO, a requirement, and not an option), muscle will be largely spared, thus avoiding the drop in metabolic rate that would otherwise be seen from a period of caloric deficit.

I'm not sure if macros would be the same ratios ie: .8-1g protien , .4-.5g fats and fill in with carbs.

These basic recommendations apply to everyone, especially those engaged in regular weight training.











Invite your wife to look through the 'female bodybuilding' forum on this site. Suggest she take note of the avatars and progress pics of medjen, kimm4, discdoggie, and other regular posters in there. See if she can find any that show "bulkiness," or any other manner of unattractive physiques.

[kendo]

My wife had piled on the pounds since we married 5 years ago but 18 months ago I said if she joined the gym I go to I would pay for her membership. She is now 60 lbs lighter looking and feeling great! Doesn't take my advice though and does things her own way, I think it's hard to coach someone close to you.

Kendo

[Lvisaa2]

Invite your wife to look through the 'female bodybuilding' forum on this site. Suggest she take note of the avatars and progress pics of medjen, kimm4, discdoggie, and other regular posters in there. See if she can find any that show "bulkiness," or any other manner of unattractive physiques.

^^ this. While you have good intentions, sometimes we aren't the best ones to get the message through to them. If a bunch of females who have physiques similar to what she wants suggest regular weight training then she may be more receptive to what they are saying. Offer to help her set up an account and post, but after that let her find her own way and just offer a guiding hand when she asks.

[leelameema]

I just don't understand how peeps can not enjoy lifting it just boggles my mind. Anyway if she is into cardio find her a Zumba Class its lots of fun and she will drop weight while having a great time. If there are no classes around order her the DVD's . The food problem needs to be resolved and under control. Congratulations on your transformation .Feels good to be alive Don't It ?

[nowheateater]

Thank you to all for the advise I agree she needs to do some research on her own I believe it will do more for her. For the record I never say anything to her about weight or offer to show her how to train or eat. (I'm married long enough to know better) she is asking me to help her set up a program and help her stick to it so I will do whatever I can
Going to send her over to he female section and maybe she will set up an account
Thanks again ,
Brian

[Asp0429]

So as I get my diet and exercise dialed in my wife can't seem to get anywhere and she is getting mad at me... she has a decent amount of weight to lose and has tried just about every fad/ gimmick diet that promise magic weight loss and even been prescribed Medifast from our Dr. to no avail. I have talked to her about trying something like SS along with some cardio (which she insists is the only way to exercise for weight loss) even though I am down almost 100lbs with very little cardio. She has this crazy belief that she will get big and bulky from free weights (if only it were that easy...) I'm not sure if macros would be the same ratios ie: .8-1g protien , .4-.5g fats and fill in with carbs. And if SS is a good plan along with some cardio. So ask here as you all have helped me more than you know Any advise would be great thanks

Brian

I say get her on here and let her see the success we women have had without bulking. I found woman my age who have had children and they became my inspiration. It changed everything.

[Corbi]

Doesn't take my advice though and does things her own way, I think it's hard to coach someone close to you.

Kendo

My wife is the same way, I 'll give her some advice and general guidelines as well as show her how use the gear in the gym. But she always ends up on the treadmill or the AMT, thinks she will turn into She-Hulk by lifting weights.

[AC242]

I sent my wife to pole dancing classes. Worked great for her and me.

[grace_ou]

I sent my wife to pole dancing classes. Worked great for her and me.

If my old man suggested I go to a pole dancing classes he'd have a broken pole.

[x-trainer ben]

So as I get my diet and exercise dialed in my wife can't seem to get anywhere and she is getting mad at me... she has a decent amount of weight to lose and has tried just about every fad/ gimmick diet that promise magic weight loss and even been prescribed Medifast from our Dr. to no avail. I have talked to her about trying something like SS along with some cardio (which she insists is the only way to exercise for weight loss) even though I am down almost 100lbs with very little cardio. She has this crazy belief that she will get big and bulky from free weights (if only it were that easy...) I'm not sure if macros would be the same ratios ie: .8-1g protien , .4-.5g fats and fill in with carbs. And if SS is a good plan along with some cardio. So ask here as you all have helped me more than you know Any advise would be great thanks

Brian

read this with her

http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_..._girl_to_train

[nowheateater]

read this with her

http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_..._girl_to_train

Thanks that's a great article and a few w/o plans too

[nowheateater]

I sent my wife to pole dancing classes. Worked great for her and me.

Yeah idk how she would respond to that one and I'm not looking to find out...
Glad it worked out for you though

[nowheateater]

Quick update I showed her the female section and she has been reading the stickies and checking out some of logs. She wants to try some squats tomorrow so it looks like she has a bit of a spark in there she also has a friend to do Zumba twice a week with. So a big thanks to all that guided me and her in the right direction

[Botika]

Thank you to all for the advise I agree she needs to do some research on her own I believe it will do more for her. For the record I never say anything to her about weight or offer to show her how to train or eat. (I'm married long enough to know better) she is asking me to help her set up a program and help her stick to it so I will do whatever I can
Going to send her over to he female section and maybe she will set up an account
Thanks again ,
Brian

Get her to check out this thread.... http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=150759963

[kendo]

Scientists have discovered what makes women get fat and go off se£..

Wedding cake..

[TJ468]

[QUOTE=nowheateater;1032255313]So as I get my diet and exercise dialed in my wife can't seem to get anywhere and she is getting mad at me... she has a decent amount of weight to lose and has tried just about every fad/ gimmick diet that promise magic weight loss and even been prescribed Medifast from our Dr. to no avail. I have talked to her about trying something like SS along with some cardio (which she insists is the only way to exercise for weight loss) even though I am down almost 100lbs with very little cardio. She has this crazy belief that she will get big and bulky from free weights (if only it were that easy...) I'm not sure if macros would be the same ratios ie: .8-1g protien , .4-.5g fats and fill in with carbs. And if SS is a good plan along with some cardio. So ask here as you all have helped me more than you know Any advise would be great thanks

You're not alone, my wife thinks the same way. I had to stop telling her my weight loss progress because it made her upset, even thou she said she was happy for me. I've been able to get her to eat better, so that's half the battle. We tend to lose the weight easier. Good Luck

[AAOBob]

If my old man suggested I go to a pole dancing classes he'd have a broken pole.

I signed my wife up for one, she signed up for a full session after her first class, we have a pole in our exercise room now and she is having a guy come to look to install full length mirrors today.

My pole is still functional

[KeithTheSnake]

This thread has really turned interesting. Somebody really should start a whole "here's my wife pole dancing" thread.

Since that won't happen, all I can really add is that I'm the very last person my wife would listen to for advice. I can't even count the times she's asked something and I've given her the right answer, only for her to take a survey of all of the friends, neighbors, and relatives before she buys what I had to say in the first place.

[AAOBob]

This thread has really turned interesting. Somebody really should start a whole "here's my wife pole dancing" thread.

She has videos on ********. Once we get the workout room sorted out in the next couple of weeks I'll post pictures of the only power rack and bench 10 feet from a poledancing pole on the site.

Since that won't happen, all I can really add is that I'm the very last person my wife would listen to for advice. I can't even count the times she's asked something and I've given her the right answer, only for her to take a survey of all of the friends, neighbors, and relatives before she buys what I had to say in the first place.

My wife has always done this as well. Even when we were dating, long before FB, if I told her something she wouldn't buy in 100%, but if some stranger did then it must be true! I think there is something inherent in some peoples minds to not trust people who might be trying their own agenda on them, but strangers have nothing to gain and can be trusted.

The plus side of this is when I'm right, I can rub it in even more

[discdoggie]

A nod of recognition from IronWill is a compliment of the highest order. .

Thank you.

[TouaregV8]

My wife is 44 years old and has dropped 22 pounds over the last few months. She is 5'7" and started at 162lbs. Here's what she had to do to lose the weight.

Diet: she cut her carbs significantly and eliminated foods with white flour entirely. She doesn't track her carb intake but if I had to guess i would say she's below 50g each day. She doesn't pay much attention to protein or fats. Also, she paid close attention to portion control and would make herself stop eating before she felt "full".

Exercise: She weight trains with me 5x a week. She does most of the same lifts as I do, bodybuilding type of training. We are usually in the gym for 1.5 hrs each session. In addition to the weight training she also spends 1 hour everyday, on her lunch hour, doing cardio on an elliptical we have in our basement. She aims for a target heart rate of about 140.

Supplements: She has been taking LIPO 6 Black (hers) by Nutrex (fat burner) and has had very good success with it. She said it has really helped to curb her appetite so she doesn't feel hungry all the time. Her weight loss was VERY stubborn initially and she was getting very frustrated because she wasn't getting the results she expected, then suddenly the weight started coming off. My wife has been very dedicated to this and I'm very proud of her for her determination and commitment to her goal. She is currently at 140lbs and she looks great. She's thrilled to be back in her size 6 jeans again (from a size 10).

[OutdoorsinCO]

Doesn't take my advice though and does things her own way, I think it's hard to coach someone close to you.

Kendo

This...by no means am I an expert but I have dropped 50lbs and put a little mass on...everytime I see my wife grabbing some "fad" diet thing or using the "if i lift weights i'll get bulky" excuse I try and correct her but never works. I've given up and just focused on myself.

[1325AIR]

Thought I'd chime in to help you fella's and your ladies out.

I cook 2-3 days worth of meals ahead of time for myself. It's not too much extra...well ok it is, but worth it...work to make my Wife's meals too. I take care of all her calorie counts and prepare her meals for work, stuff into tupperware and bada bing she drops fat (actually I now have her at maintenance). If her lifts go up (she works out at home with DB's, bands and exercise balls...AND NEVER DOES CARDIO LOL srs) I increase cals slightly. She gets a cheat meal every 1-2 weeks (usually sushi).

Just do it = better than breakfast in bed and she loves to brag to friends how I cook for her

[thepainter5]

I have a home gym in the basement along the lines of Ironwill's so it's a complete setup, yet getting my wife downstairs hasn't been so easy. Her biggest complaint is my intensity and how she feels intimidated by my effort. She has flittered with yoga, weight watchers, some Jillian Michaels dvds, and the like. I try to help where I can but the best idea I came up with was last year, 2 weeks in Hawaii.

I told her that I'm working on my beach body. Holiday plans were finalized last September and she has been slowly losing weight since then. She is lighter than she has been in 7 years, she is smaller than all of her skinny clothes and is now searching for something she never planned to need again (she's 57) a bikini.

Hawaii here we come and when we get home I am planning next years sunny beach vacation

[1325AIR]

I have a home gym in the basement along the lines of Ironwill's so it's a complete setup, yet getting my wife downstairs hasn't been so easy. Her biggest complaint is my intensity and how she feels intimidated by my effort. She has flittered with yoga, weight watchers, some Jillian Michaels dvds, and the like. I try to help where I can but the best idea I came up with was last year, 2 weeks in Hawaii.

I told her that I'm working on my beach body. Holiday plans were finalized last September and she has been slowly losing weight since then. She is lighter than she has been in 7 years, she is smaller than all of her skinny clothes and is now searching for something she never planned to need again (she's 57) a bikini.

Hawaii here we come and when we get home I am planning next years sunny beach vacation

Yeah budaaaay!! Wife and I are in Maui for 11 days in t-minus soon!!! Doing 4 days in Hana and 7 in Napili!!! Went last year and it was so awesome we are going back for moaaar!

[AAOBob]

Try little beach while on Maui. It's great diet motivation