Nerves and dating

[yummycow]

Really, you don't?

Hey, it's not everything (by a long shot!) but the awareness that you're looking as you want to look just IS a pretty huge confidence boost. Male or female, younger or older. And the converse would, logically, also be the case.

Well even when I was thin I was still shy. I'm losing weight either way and if it helps my confidence I won't complain.

[7107]

I can't imagine going on a dinner date with a complete stranger. A 1+ hour commitment of doing nothing but sitting across from each other trying to converse and see if you're compatible? No thanks! I'm not the greatest at small talk, so match me up with someone who isn't as well and it's just awkward. It's really easy to see when conversation flows and when it's forced, so showing up to a date with a stranger who you aren't clicking with is just awful. I would agree with others saying to do an activity vs. just sitting around talking. A coffee date is ok, it gives both parties the chance to only stay and talk for as long as they truly want to. No awkward empty space of waiting for the food/bill or whatever.


Overall, I think if you find yourself forcing conversation with someone, they aren't the one for you anyway. If you're truly interested in them, naturally you will talk to them and ask them questions because you genuinely want to know the answers to them.

[latebloomingmom]

Just talk with the guy on the phone 1 or 2 times before meeting if you don't mind giving your number out. I think that will ease the tension a bit.

I think if you are going on a date with a "normal" guy he isn't going to dismiss you just because your nervous. As long as their is attraction and some flirting/common interests that's all that matters on a first date.

does this really take the edge off? ********ing, twittering, texting, emailing, pming...hmm I have my doubts

[Wyomann]

does this really take the edge off? ********ing, twittering, texting, emailing, pming...hmm I have my doubts

Sure. I mean getting to know someone a little bit helps versus seeing their picture and profile and showing up for dinner. Plus you have another opportunity to weed them out. What if their profile is one thing and then on the phone they are retarded.

[latebloomingmom]

hmmmm what if on the phone you both get along great but the thought of meeting one day terrifies the living crap out of ya?

Sure. I mean getting to know someone a little bit helps versus seeing their picture and profile and showing up for dinner. Plus you have another opportunity to weed them out. What if their profile is one thing and then on the phone they are retarded.

[Ang123]

Emailing or talking on phone is good to break the ice. Knowing more about them ahead of time like their interests helps in knowing what to talk about instead of grilling them playing 20 questions like some first dates turn out to be. So the first date is more relaxing. Phoning allowed me to weed out someone who probably would have attacked or killed me as I knew after a couple phone calls they were dangerous.

[itsagoodday]

hmmmm what if on the phone you both get along great but the thought of meeting one day terrifies the living crap out of ya?

Bring a change of undies?

[jcook996]

Emailing or talking on phone is good to break the ice. Knowing more about them ahead of time like their interests helps in knowing what to talk about instead of grilling them playing 20 questions like some first dates turn out to be. So the first date is more relaxing. Phoning allowed me to weed out someone who probably would have attacked or killed me as I knew after a couple phone calls they were dangerous.

True enough, but phone calls are better because you can actually hear their reactions to what you say. With email there is too much time for them to form some kind of perfect response. Like instead of typing, "I want to make sweet love to you and ravage you in the worst way. I want to do horrible terrible things to you and make you howl like a banshee." He types "I am looking forward to meeting you." Phone is always better.

[latebloomingmom]

Bring a change of undies?

pay someone to be your stand in then watch from another table??

[Ang123]

Perhaps this is why the practice of having a friend call 30 minutes into the date became so popular. It gives you a valid excuse to leave in a hurry if you end up on a bad date when you get that urgent call that your friend's car broke down and they need your help.

[Madi-J]

I've based almost all of my relationships off of chemistry...not necessarily instant because of nerves, but if I talked to a guy for a week or so and didn't feel anything, he went to the friend zone. I had chemistry with my current instantly, and everything is looking pretty promising.

It is hard to get over date jitters though...only thing that helped me was to stop going on dinner dates unless you went somewhere interesting first so that you had something to talk about. Or to do something casual like concerts with friends, coffee, etc. I was still nervous, but there were at least things to talk about or other people to involve that had nothing invested and thus weren't as nervous and could help keep convo flowing. Or it wasn't so formal like a dinner so I could pretend that I forgot to be somewhere if it was weird...lol.

[latebloomingmom]

Emailing or talking on phone is good to break the ice. Knowing more about them ahead of time like their interests helps in knowing what to talk about instead of grilling them playing 20 questions like some first dates turn out to be. So the first date is more relaxing. Phoning allowed me to weed out someone who probably would have attacked or killed me as I knew after a couple phone calls they were dangerous.

how would you know if they were dangerous after a couple of phone calls ? did you run a background check or did the following questions happend to pop up
1. " have you ever been convicted of a felony? "
2. If I were to contact your most recent ex girlfriend or wife with questions about you...are they still living? "



this whole dating thing terrifys me anyhow...
what if the guy is divorced? now ya gotta drill him with a 100 questions trying to figure out was it his fault or hers or both

what if the guy has never been married? why would that be..especially by the time he is in his 40's??
then ya gotta end up asking the dreaded question
"how many women have you slept with?" well when a guy give this number to another guy he increases it..when he says it to a woman? that number drops so as a female ya got sit there and try to figure it out

ok now he says 20 so how many could that really be and your mind starts thinking ...what if one of em had a std??

so then the next question will be
"when is the the last time you had a physical with a complete blood panal and an std screening?"

[costahobo]

Do guys actually care about conversation? None I've met do. They just want sex. As long as a woman looks nice, puts out and doesn't sit around complaining nonstop they really don't seem to care about anything else. I think you are being too hard on yourself. Maybe you should just let the guy lead in conversation if you don't know what to say. Don't worry about making jokes.

I care about conversation. I married a smart woman for that reason. We all get older, and time is not a nice friend to our appearances. When the appearances go, you need something to fall back on.

[costahobo]

this whole dating thing terrifys me anyhow...
what if the guy is divorced? now ya gotta drill him with a 100 questions trying to figure out was it his fault or hers or both

what if the guy has never been married? why would that be..especially by the time he is in his 40's??
then ya gotta end up asking the dreaded question
"how many women have you slept with?" well when a guy give this number to another guy he increases it..when he says it to a woman? that number drops so as a female ya got sit there and try to figure it out

ok now he says 20 so how many could that really be and your mind starts thinking ...what if one of em had a std??

so then the next question will be
"when is the the last time you had a physical with a complete blood panal and an std screening?"

Wow. Just .... wow. I really hope you're joking. If any woman started questioning me like that, I would just leave. I would stare at her like she suddenly had a toucan perched on her head, and shake my head and just leave. You sound damaged; like you have trust issues. Too much baggage. As in, not a healthy woman to date. Fix your issues first, then tackle dating.

[itsagoodday]

how would you know if they were dangerous after a couple of phone calls ? did you run a background check or did the following questions happend to pop up
1. " have you ever been convicted of a felony? "
2. If I were to contact your most recent ex girlfriend or wife with questions about you...are they still living? "

So, how about we play a little game to get to know each other better? Yeah, I saw this quiz in Cosmo and thought it would be fun. OK, here it goes.

My ex-wives are buried in the:
A. Cellar
B. Backyard
C. Crawlspace
D. Those weren't my wives, those were hookers

[Wyomann]

Pretty sure a serial killer is not going to go on a date with you and then kill you. The biggest piece to not getting caught when serial killing is not knowing the victim in any way.

[kingoftroys]

Pretty sure a serial killer is not going to go on a date with you and then kill you. The biggest piece to not getting caught when serial killing is not knowing the victim in any way.

Oh man spoken like a true serial killer... haha j/k

[jcook996]

So, how about we play a little game to get to know each other better? Yeah, I saw this quiz in Cosmo and thought it would be fun. OK, here it goes.

My ex-wives are buried in the:
A. Cellar
B. Backyard
C. Crawlspace
D. Those weren't my wives, those were hookers

E. All of the above

[latebloomingmom]

So, how about we play a little game to get to know each other better? Yeah, I saw this quiz in Cosmo and thought it would be fun. OK, here it goes.

My ex-wives are buried in the:
A. Cellar
B. Backyard
C. Crawlspace
D. Those weren't my wives, those were hookers

hhehehehehe

[latebloomingmom]

Wow. Just .... wow. I really hope you're joking. If any woman started questioning me like that, I would just leave. I would stare at her like she suddenly had a toucan perched on her head, and shake my head and just leave. You sound damaged; like you have trust issues. Too much baggage. As in, not a healthy woman to date. Fix your issues first, then tackle dating.

snicker...excuse me bellboy would you mind checking my baggage?

[Death-S]

i always go into dates hoping im asked if im a serial killer