According to my ex, who was mad at me after I last slept with her a week ago, told me I have issues that I need to work on and told me lots of stuff that hit me hard.
Main story is:
-6months ago I got out of a relationship really really badly.
-Started lifting heavy weights to deal with the pain
-Lifting heavy/pain from workouts feels good
-Every time I lift I think about her and she is ALWAYS in my mind.
I am spending like 3hrs a day in the gym, it is the ONLY time of the day I feel really happy and at peace.
The rest of the day I just keep thinking "when am I getting to the gym".
Even in my sleep, its just nightmare nightmare nightmare until I wake up and go workout.
In my whole life now, the only thing I actually want to do is lift weights.
I had a dream, DREAM, that everyone was gone and I was alone for ever in a gym. This was a dream, not a nightmare.
Apparently I hate everyone/everything and just want to be in a gym alone for ever now.
I do have friends etc.. But I quit going out, and eating unhealthy etc.. I just lift/study now...
I don't feel the need to socialize or go out.
What do you guys think?
Is this bad?
Am I going through a phase?
I only just realized this when my Ex woke me up to it.
PS: The ex that told me I have issues is NOT the one that I'm still in pain over.
Edit:
I've also been sleeping with girls I don't have feelings for, and not really caring about the things I do, just trying to better myself at everything whilst ignoring my wants.
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Thread: Do I have issues?
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02-08-2013, 01:19 PM #1
Do I have issues?
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02-08-2013, 01:22 PM #2
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02-08-2013, 01:24 PM #3
hmmm... is it a bad one?
I don't feel depressed.... I mean, I make jokes 24/7, but according to my ex, who knws EVERYTHING about me, says I do it as a defense mechanism or some crap. Never really thought about it that way but I guess she could be right.
I don't knw what to do...
I'm going nuts here, I cannot get this girl out of my mind.
She has a new boyfriend and probably doesn't remember my name, and there is not a moment of the day I don't think about her.
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02-08-2013, 01:32 PM #4
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02-08-2013, 01:35 PM #5
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02-08-2013, 01:40 PM #6
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02-08-2013, 01:40 PM #7
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02-08-2013, 01:42 PM #8
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02-08-2013, 01:47 PM #9
Do your thing man. If you don't want to socialize then don't. If you want to be dedicated to studying and the gym then do that. Time will make your forget about your bish. I'm currently cutting back on going out and socializing too cause I need to get my **** together both in school and in the gym.
Goal: 6-8% BF by summer.
I rep everyone back. Leave link in comment.
-let conscious decisions lead your path-
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02-08-2013, 01:50 PM #10
The thing is, i've dated 5girls including her.
The other 4 were sloots.
I mean smoking/drinking/pot, and sex all the time etc.
I liked them but never connected with them, and they always messed up the relationship by cheating or something.
It stung a little but not this much.
Then, I meet this girl:
Who is sweet/inoccent etc...
I totally fall for her, for about a MONTH, thats all, a MONTH.
We don't even have sex which is a first for me...
Then, her mum catches me naked in her bed...
And throws me out the house, I was so shocked and panicked from the experience that the relationship died over the next few weeks where she was grounded....
My fault, I should have tried to keep her instead of giving up... I didn't realise how much she meant to be back then.
And now I cannot get her out of my head, there is not 1 second of the day i'm not thinking about her, studying, sleeping, working out etc..
I feel depressed ALL day and hide it through jokes 24/7, but all I think about is getting to the gym.
And once i'm in the gym alone listening to music, I think about her, and workout hard.
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02-08-2013, 01:54 PM #11
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02-08-2013, 01:57 PM #12
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02-08-2013, 01:58 PM #13
She has a new boyfriend and isn't talking to me.
I kind of gave up on her after her mom caught us.
There was no way it was going to work in my mind.
And I was de-sensitized due to all those sluts i'd been dating, so i thought it was the end and kind of broke up..
I didn't realise she was something different, and not just one of those sluts I had before...
And by the time I realised it was too late, she isn't talking to me, and hasn't been for 6months...
She has a new boyfriend and seems to have fully moved on.
She clearly didn't have the same feelings for me as I had for her.
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02-08-2013, 01:59 PM #14
Sorry if I didn't make it clear.
I somehow linked her to the gym... No idea how my brain did that.
But when I lift, it feels like i'm doing it for her, not literally..
But, I feel happy when I lift.
She is in my mind during my workouts and i'm happy, outside of the gym I just get sad about what I did wrong.
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02-08-2013, 02:04 PM #15
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02-08-2013, 02:05 PM #16
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02-08-2013, 02:15 PM #17
You over-reacted, her mother would have had to accept that you two were sleeping with eachother sooner or later.
I wouldnt bother trying to break her and her new bf up. You said it yourself, she doesnt have the same feelings for you that you did for her. If you really want to though, the second you see that their relationship isnt working, you take advantage immediately and talk to her. Tell her things like she deserves better and make her smile/have fun and show her a good time, make her forget ALL about him when shes with you. Try to spark the fire again, show her you're the guy he's not. She'll go back into your arms.
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02-08-2013, 02:17 PM #18
sounds just like something I would do...
It's not that I over-reacted, it's just, sleeping with all these girls has totally ruined my view of how relationships are meant to be, which caused my one real one to go downhill within the first month.
I should try better next time... Hope I can forget about her... Going to bed, got a workout in 8hrs. Cya guys, thanks for the help, keep posting what you think.
I really don't wanna have issues, trying hard to not be depressed.
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02-08-2013, 02:38 PM #19
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02-08-2013, 02:39 PM #20
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02-08-2013, 03:27 PM #21
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02-08-2013, 03:41 PM #22
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02-08-2013, 03:43 PM #23
- Join Date: Apr 2011
- Location: Pennsylvania, United States
- Age: 29
- Posts: 3,394
- Rep Power: 7432
3 hours a day in the gym, and yet you weigh 6"3 184... Interesting...
Workout log - http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=138691633&highlight=stas+bench
My lifts : http://www.youtube.com/user/apujols24?feature=mhee
Pittsburgh Brah
***Black Knight Master Race Crew***
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02-09-2013, 01:06 AM #24
I started training 9months ago, first 3months I lost 48lbs of weight, I was total noob and only running cause I was at 27% fat, I went down to 10%.
Then for 6months now i've been bulking steadily at 3.5k-4k cals a day, and I am now 13% BF.
Start- 211 LBs, 27% Fat.
3months in- 163LBs, 10% Fat. Lost 36lbs of Fat, 6lbs of muscle lost, and water
Now (6months later)-190lbs, 13% Fat. Gained 4lbs of fat, 18.6lbs of LBM.
Aim- 205-210lbs, 8-10% fat, in next 12months.
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02-09-2013, 06:35 AM #25
- Join Date: Nov 2011
- Location: Orlando, Florida, United States
- Age: 30
- Posts: 3,945
- Rep Power: 0
if its an issue than i have the same thing,
i wont even eat junk food; just meats/rice/sweet potato/milk/ protein pretty much (live in dorm i have limited options)
i dont drink anymore
dont smoke
hardly go out
try to get 10-12 hours of sleep a day
obsess over macros
gym once or twice a day
usually spent 2 hours in gym for weights, 1 hour or so for cardio
only think about gym or diet
been making great gains, and it makes me happy and i release my anger, stress, sadness, whatever im feeling in the gym
so bad that i train 7x a week, havent had a rest day in forever
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02-10-2013, 12:57 AM #26
sweet lifts mate, way better than mine.
I just started Deadlifting and I suck at it, and the only squat machine we have is Smith so I have to put up with that...
I am hoping to make a difference in my body until summer, but that seems unlikely from what people are telling me.
Oh well, I lost 48lbs in 3months, I gained 18lbs of LBM in 5months... I have made huge changes in less than half a year, and people telling me I need 4-5years to get aesthetic, I don't believe them. haha.
So, any more input?
I CANNOT GET THIS GIRL OUT OF MY MIND.
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02-10-2013, 11:49 AM #27
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02-10-2013, 11:13 PM #28
This thread is a few days old so hopefully you see this OP, but I am going through almost the exact thing at the moment as well; what happened between me and my girl is not what happened between you and yours, but our reactions are the exact same haha. My girl left me after I had treated her like the world, out of nowhere. But that's beside the point. Since then, every time I'm in gym, which is 5x a week sometimes 6, I still feel as if I'm with her and I'm lifting for her, to impress her, so I can talk to her afterwards and be like babe I just got done lifting can't wait to see you tomorrow...and the gym is also literally the only thing I look forward to each and every day, in a way it's good, but also it's not.
I think about her more in the gym because as you said, every set, every single rep, I'm using my anger about the whole situation to push that weight. It's not healthy. We might be able to get that weight up but as far as the mental aspect of it all goes...we have to move the hell on my friend. I should be taking my own advice haha, cause she's all I think about as well. But we're young, and I know you've heard it thousands of times but there truly are countless women out there, who are looking for the same thing you are. I know it's way hard to believe and it sucks to have to accept the fact that she's gone, and that she's got a ******* beta boyfriend, but don't ever think she truly "forgot" about you. She may not say it anyone, but you cross her mind every once in a while, who knows how often, and who knows why or what she thinks about when you do, but you do. There are some things in life that we simply cannot change, and trying to do so would most likely screw up the entire situation even more; especially cause she has a current boyfriend. Let her do you, and allow yourself to continue to better yourself by earning good grades and getting massive and maybe in time you two might cross paths but if not, then so be it. As men we're meant to deal with these things and no one really knows why, but it's just the truth, and it sucks ass I know.
Keep your head up, keep your studies up, keep your lifts up, and most important don't lose sight of your dreams and goals, cause as much as being in that perfect relationships with that perfect girl seems (and was), what truly matters most right in your and in mine is that we create ourselves, rather than letting a woman or a bad habit do it for us...(read my signature haha).
Sorry this was long af but I hope it helped manThe greatest decision a man can make in his life is the one where he chooses to create himself before letting a woman or
habit do it first.
- Me
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02-10-2013, 11:32 PM #29
To above poster, thanks man, I hope you can go through it too.
I want to forget her but its not that easy..
I got used to having that someone to support me, tell me "yea go to the gym" etc... with EVERYTHING i did...
Now whenever I go or something I can still like see her cheering me on...
It's like she is the reason i do everything, I know thats not healthy but I have no idea how to change it.
My brain is retarded, I have 2 crushes and am totally in love with one girl, all 3 of them are in relationships, and all 3 are unatainable.
One is 26 years old (im 17), and my teacher and has a boyfriend...
One lives in Brazil and has a long term boyfriend...
One is Kate, who hates my guts and has a boyfriend...
LOLz...
I don't know why I keep picking these girls, it's like my brain is masochistic.
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