~~~ The Year Of Me~~~

[vanessa40]

Thank you all once again for following me to a new journal. I wanted to make a new one for a few reasons. First because i made the old one right before my little Muffin died and it is so sad to go there and remember that..the other reason is i have a new outlook and plan for this year.

See over the past few years i have become a recluse. I am not sure why really when i was younger i would go out and do all kind of fun things. I have never had a lot of friends just a few close ones but over the years they have married and moved away. We still chat online but it's not the same. I also think that gaining this weight has a lot to do with it. I just hate to get dressed and go out. I know when i lose a few pounds and feel more confident that will change..Another reason was Muffin was sick and old and i did not like to leave her alone for any length of time.
So my house has kind of become a prison..a nice prison but a prison none the less...

So in this Year Of Me this is my plan

1- Become the fit person i know i can be
2- Get a job volunteering at a shelter
3- Work on forgiveness
4- Be open to try new things
5- Start a new hobbie or two
6- Read for at least an hour a day
7- Run one new race a year
8- A Random Act of Kindness everyday you go out

That is my starter list..

1- No more crazy diets or plans. I will just work at being the healthiest i can be to lose the weight..

2-I have always wanted to give back but i have never had the time before. When Brittany was younger before i was with Steve i had to work all the time. Then when Steve and i got together Brittany was still in school and doing all her after school things and taking care of Muffin but now since Steve works until 6pm and it's just me i can look into this

3-This is a hard on for me. I have a hard time forgiving anyone that has wronged me. It comes from my childhood which i am not sure if you all know about. I was abused phycially and mentally by my mother. My father was working and away most of the time but still he must share some of the blame. I will try but this will be the hardest one. Holding onto all the hate is not good..i will try and do better.

4-Trying new things..lord help me on this one too. I am a creature of habit..lol

5- New hobby- Brittany left all her knitting stuff here so that is number one on my list..

6- I love to read but i find myself online or watching Netflix movies. Time to give the Kindle more of a workout.

7- Well i have this one taken care of i am running the Zombie Run 5k in May but i am looking into a few more..

8- Random Act Of Kindness- I usually do this when i am out. It's never anything big..but like today i helped this older lady with her bags ..she was having trouble getting them into the back of her car..people were just walking by it was sad to me anyway..so i walked over and asked...she was so grateful and it made me feel so good that i helped her..
Little things mean so much if you will only try..

So that is the short list.. Everyday i will do something that will make me into a better me this year because for so long i have put myself on the back burner..it was all my doing but it's time for a change..
Thanks for listening and helping me along the way

[Redfizz]

I love your new journal!

You are going to have a FABULOUS year!!!!!

[thehobbes]

IN for your awesome journey!

4-Trying new things..lord help me on this one too. I am a creature of habit..lol

Heehee, I know what you mean. BRB someone giving me blueberries instead of raspberries for my oatmeal = total breakfast freak out. In all seriousness those are all excellent goals. I foresee many positive life changing experiences to come.

6- I love to read but i find myself online or watching Netflix movies. Time to give the Kindle more of a workout.

Good one, I love to read as well and often don't take the time to do it a little every week. Once I get into a good book though I want to sit there for 8 hrs straight and read.

[vanessa40]

Day 1

Ok so i am off and running

This morning i ran 3.46 miles. I am feeling better about my running. I don't jiggle as much.

Today was also full body lifting day

Plie Squats
3x12x30#

Romanian Deadlifts
3x10x30#

DB Chest Press
3x12x15#e

OH DB Shoulder Press
3x12x15#e

Glute Kickback
3x12x15#

Lying Leg Raises
3x12x15#

Hammer Curl
3x12x15#

OH Tri Extension
3x12x15#

Yoga
20 minutes

Meals i stayed on my plan today
Here is the link to My Fitness Pal journal

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/vanessa40

Over today was a good day. I even sat outside and read for an hour

[Madi-J]

Sounds like a really good day! Taking time for yourself and doing things that you want to do are a must. I took two years to do "me" and pursue whatever I wanted to do, and made some very positive changes as I got back in touch with my true self.

[Luvdogs]

I love this new journal!

I did not know about your childhood. That is so sad. Holding on to hate is not good for you. Is your mom still alive? Has she ever apologized to you? My grandmother was abused by her husband and my mom and aunts witnessed a lot of horrible things. She held on to the fear of him until he died. Very tragic for her. A lot of wasted years.

Good for you for getting a fresh start and a new beginning!

[vanessa40]

Day 2

What a rainy day but that has not got me down. I had a wonderful run this morning. Thankfully the rain held off and it was not as cold..it was about 45*. I got in 5.29 miles. It is so peaceful at 5am nothing but me a few bunnies and the stars.

This afternoon i did 26 minutes of runners yoga. It is really helping my hamstrings. I don't feel as tight and you know i have always had trouble in that area.

My calories are looking better today also.
1521 calories which is a lot better than yesterday. I t is so hard for me to wrap my head around more is a good thing...lol

Tomorrow i go finally to get my hair cut and highlighted.. 9:30am can not get here soon enough

[vanessa40]

I love this new journal!

I did not know about your childhood. That is so sad. Holding on to hate is not good for you. Is your mom still alive? Has she ever apologized to you? My grandmother was abused by her husband and my mom and aunts witnessed a lot of horrible things. She held on to the fear of him until he died. Very tragic for her. A lot of wasted years.

Good for you for getting a fresh start and a new beginning!

That is so sad about your grandmother and that your mother had to see that..
No my mother has yet to even admit she ever did anything to me. We have not spoke in almost eight years. It is sad..i wanted us all to go to therapy but she would not so that was the end for me i had to cut off all contact for my own well being and for Brittany too.

I am trying to forgive her in my heart because i know that she will never admit to it and i can't go on in this hole of hate.
I doubt i will ever see her again and that is ok i have to work on me no matter what anyone else does with their life.

[MoEcho]

*wave*

[vanessa40]

Day 3

Woke up this morning not really feeling like going out for a run. Some days i wake up and i am ready to hit it then days like today..not so much..

So my plan for today is

Yoga~20 minutes AM/20 mins PM

Lifting~ Full Body

Cardio~ Intervals on treadmill

Need to go work on my meals for today.. BBL

[Madi-J]

I absolutely did not want to get out of bed this morning, so I sympathize with not wanting to run. I also hate running, which probably has a lot to do with my sympathy...haha

[vanessa40]

LOL Madi it's a love/hate thing with me. I love it but my body is starting not too. I have a lot more aches and pains so i really have to watch out just how much i run..

Today was a great day..

I got my hair cut and highighted so i look normal again. I read for90 minutes and did an hour of cardio

[Madi-J]

Muscle aches, joint aches, or both? I have awful joints, recently started taking a glucosamine supplement as it is supposed to help with joint health and function. I don't notice a difference yet, but others who use it say it helps them. Could be something to look into if you haven't tried it yet?

[thehobbes]

^^^Yessss, glucosamine! Takes a couple months to kick in, don't give up on it!

[Luvdogs]

Yeah for new hair! That always makes me feel good! My massage tomorrow will help as well. Have a great weekend!

[vanessa40]

Good Morning..
Well my alarm went off but i was so comfy i went right back to sleep. I feel so much better today since i got a few more hours. I know your body needs rest and i think maybe i push myself to hard thinking i can out run a bad diet even though i know that it's 80% diet and 20% workout. I know this is true because my daughters diet is 100% and she might do cardio/weights 2/3 times a week..well that and she is 24.

DRUMROLL(Ha Ha)

~~~~~Day 4~~~~

Well since i got in some extra sleep no running today. I will most likely do a few cardio class on FitnessGlo.com
that site is a lifesaver for me. My daughter uses it too. Then an hour of yoga.

Funny story..yesterday is my second birthday of the year. See i was suppost to be born on Feb.8th but i was a premmie and was born Jan.1st
I was born way back in 1966 and yes i was the first baby born in my city in 1966. I was even in the paper..ha ha
Well not my picture because i was so little i had to be in a incubator. I always joke now that you would never know i was under 4 pounds when i was born..
So Steve bought me a little slice of cheesecake to celebrate

Well that's all from here..oh wait and i do take that supplement but i have only been taking it for about 3 weeks..hopefully it will kick in soon..

[vanessa40]

Today was another good one. I did a cardio sculpt and balance class on FitnessGlo.com then in the afternoon I did 50 minutes yoga on DailyBurn

I watched The Raven on Netflix with John Cusack. It was a very interesting movie. For some reason I just love him
Midnight in the the Garden of Good and Evil was another good one...but of course 16 Candles and Better Off Dead are the classics

Well it's time for bed..we just finished watching some terrible movie on SYFY. See you in the morning

[Luvdogs]

Happy 2nd Birthday I love his sister, Joan. I loved 16 Candles too. Haven't seen the other ones. Going to see Identity Theft tomorrow with my SIL. I need a good laugh!

[vanessa40]

Good Morning

Yes i am up at the right time today but still don't feel like running. That is another change i am making in the Year Of Me i will only do the workouts i feel like doing. There are so many different forms of exercise you should never have to do something you do want too. Your workout should be something you enjoy or atleast that is the way i see it

Julia-OMG i love Joan too. She and her brother are so different than many other actors. I wish she was in more movies. I just loved her in 16 Candles. I want to see Identity Theft also. Let me know what you think.. I am really in the mood for a good horror movie..wonder if any good ones are out now ..

~~~~~Day 5~~~~~

So like i said no running today. I might do some Tabata training on DailyBurn.com and then yoga later.
I also plan on reading i am almost finished with the book i started the other day.

Missing Muffin this morning..pets bring so much love and joy into your life. I miss my little snuggle buddy

Anyway so i need to get to my workout..you all be good and i'll check back later..

[Min125]

Your workout should be something you enjoy or atleast that is the way i see it

100% agree. If you enjoy more, you will do more :-)

Have a wonderful time while working out!

[Madi-J]

^^^Yessss, glucosamine! Takes a couple months to kick in, don't give up on it!

Needed to hear this, I'm pretty inconsistent about taking it...time to change that it seems if I want to get anything out of it!

Good Morning

Yes i am up at the right time today but still don't feel like running. That is another change i am making in the Year Of Me i will only do the workouts i feel like doing. There are so many different forms of exercise you should never have to do something you do want too. Your workout should be something you enjoy or atleast that is the way i see it

Julia-OMG i love Joan too. She and her brother are so different than many other actors. I wish she was in more movies. I just loved her in 16 Candles. I want to see Identity Theft also. Let me know what you think.. I am really in the mood for a good horror movie..wonder if any good ones are out now ..

~~~~~Day 5~~~~~

So like i said no running today. I might do some Tabata training on DailyBurn.com and then yoga later.
I also plan on reading i am almost finished with the book i started the other day.

Missing Muffin this morning..pets bring so much love and joy into your life. I miss my little snuggle buddy

Anyway so i need to get to my workout..you all be good and i'll check back later..

Add me to the list of people who love the Cusacks! There's just something about their acting style that makes them so believable.

[vanessa40]

~~~Day 6~~~

So here we are almost a full week into it. Things are getting easier by the day. I am feeling good. I still miss my baby. I had to change my profile picture for now. Coming here and seeing her everyday was painful. I still have a ton of her photos on my phone. I look at them once a day but it was just forgetting and then logging on here and seeing her that was painful. I know it must sound silly to some people that have never had a pet that i loved her like a child but i did..
Ok i need to move on before i get all sad

So i slept in today and went to Walmart to get a foam roller and a kettlebell. I need them for a few new classes i wanted to start on DailyBurn. Then i came home and watched Downton Abbey. I adore that show. I always tape it and watch it the next day. I did not know it was two hours so that has put me behind because i also taped The Walking Dead..so i need to watch that and still workout and do the laundry..

I will try and visit journals tomorrow as i will have more time..

You all have a wonderful day and thanks again for being such great friends

[Luvdogs]

I totally understand your feelings about Muffin. I have often said I feel like I gave birth to Genie It's a grieving process.

I have never seen Downtown Abby or the Walking Dead show. I was a huge Night of the Living Dead movies from waaaay back when I was a kid! I love all the horror movies. Did you ever what Creature Features on Fri or Sat nights at about 11:00pm? My step-dad (at the time) used to stay up and watch them with me.

[vanessa40]

~~~~Day 7~~~~

Well one week under my belt and i have to say i am feeling better everyday. It helps that i have a great support system. Back when i weighed 220 there was really nobody there for me and i had to do it alone. That is hard when you are married to someone who does not want you to change. It seemed everythime i turned around he was bring pizza and fast food home. Good thing i am the kind of person that when i know you are trying to stand in my way i will just mow you down. So i lost the weight and then lost him. Funny thing is he married another woman named Vanessa who weighs just what i did..i wonder how he found another Vanessa..it's not relly a common name. Anyway it all worked out for the best because i am with a wonderful man who only wants the best for me. That is a great feeling after everything i have been through with my parents and then my marriage.

So yesterday update...
I finished watching Downton Abbey and The Walking Dead..that took almost three hours,laundry all done and i use my foam roller for the first time. Wow did i find every sore tight spot on my body. It felt great and i am not as sore today..this will be great for my hamstrings.

Today i will do kettle bell training and some mobility yoga..

Have a wonderful day..

[vanessa40]

I totally understand your feelings about Muffin. I have often said I feel like I gave birth to Genie It's a grieving process.

I have never seen Downtown Abby or the Walking Dead show. I was a huge Night of the Living Dead movies from waaaay back when I was a kid! I love all the horror movies. Did you ever what Creature Features on Fri or Sat nights at about 11:00pm? My step-dad (at the time) used to stay up and watch them with me.

OMG i use to watch Creature Feature all the time. Did you ever watch Tales From The Crypt and The Evil Dead movies are my all time fave..Hell i watch almost any horror movie..i love a good or funny scare.

[vanessa40]

Well yesterday was good overall. A friend of mine puppy died so i was a bit upset for her and thinking about Muffin.

For my workout I did a Kettle Bell for 45 minutes on Daily Burn and 20 minutes of yoga and strecthing with a foam roller and a tennis ball for my feet.

~~~~Day 8 ~~~~

First of all i want to give myself a pat on the back for journaling a week straight. That is HUGE for me. Usually when i have a bad day i just give up. Yesterday was one of those days but i pushed on. I know now that i need to do things to keep me motivated. So to get me back into my running i downloaded my Zombies, Run app and music so now i am back running with the stories and the zombies.. yeah it's a bit silly but fun.

So today i went out to get Steve his Valentines Day present. we are a practical bunch. Steve has started his own Woodworking Channel on Youtube where he shows people how he makes bowls,pen,wine stoppers next he is making a fishing net. So since he is online now the sweatshirt he was wearing look bad..you know men they never buy anything new so i bought him two nice new sweatshirts and a tri-pod..and of course Valentines Day peanut M&M's his faves..

Today i went for a 3.45 mile run,came in and did 15 minutes of yoga and this afternoon i'll do some cardio and stretching..

Hope you all have a great day

[Madi-J]

Well yesterday was good overall. A friend of mine puppy died so i was a bit upset for her and thinking about Muffin.

For my workout I did a Kettle Bell for 45 minutes on Daily Burn and 20 minutes of yoga and strecthing with a foam roller and a tennis ball for my feet.

~~~~Day 8 ~~~~

First of all i want to give myself a pat on the back for journaling a week straight. That is HUGE for me. Usually when i have a bad day i just give up. Yesterday was one of those days but i pushed on. I know now that i need to do things to keep me motivated. So to get me back into my running i downloaded my Zombies, Run app and music so now i am back running with the stories and the zombies.. yeah it's a bit silly but fun.

So today i went out to get Steve his Valentines Day present. we are a practical bunch. Steve has started his own Woodworking Channel on Youtube where he shows people how he makes bowls,pen,wine stoppers next he is making a fishing net. So since he is online now the sweatshirt he was wearing look bad..you know men they never buy anything new so i bought him two nice new sweatshirts and a tri-pod..and of course Valentines Day peanut M&M's his faves..

Today i went for a 3.45 mile run,came in and did 15 minutes of yoga and this afternoon i'll do some cardio and stretching..

Hope you all have a great day

Sounds like a pretty great day! Congrats on making it a week straight, that is huge!

The zombie running app sounds like a lot of fun, if I was anything of a runner I would totally use it!

[Luvdogs]

Yeah for a week!! Tales from the Crypt,yes, the other, no. I loved being scared then, but now, give me a RomCom or drama. No scary stuff! Identity Theft was hilarious!

[thehobbes]

So today i went out to get Steve his Valentines Day present. we are a practical bunch. Steve has started his own Woodworking Channel on Youtube where he shows people how he makes bowls,pen,wine stoppers next he is making a fishing net. So since he is online now the sweatshirt he was wearing look bad..you know men they never buy anything new so i bought him two nice new sweatshirts and a tri-pod..and of course Valentines Day peanut M&M's his faves..

That's so cool, I love making stuff like that, power tools yessss! Those are really thoughtful and practical gifts, mirin'.

[vanessa40]

Good Morning..

Wow did i ever work out yesterday. I ran 3.50 miles,then over an hour of cardio broke up into two 30 minutes sessions and 30 minutes of yoga and stretching. Yes i am working through my grief

Anyway so today i am going to the shelter to look at a chihuahua. I saw on their FB page and website that they had had this one for over a month. She is 11 month and was attacked by a bigger dog and was found and brough to the vet and then the shelter. She was very fearful at first but now they say she is letting people hold and play with her. So i am just going to look and see how she is. I am not getting my hopes up but just know i am starting to look now..

I promise not to be like this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeDbeE9Jh88