what is the ideal relationship?

[latebloomingmom]

actually I wouldnt mind having a wife now that I think about it

[azstrengthcoach]

Do you live in Utah?

Arizona

[PLANETGETLOW]

FWIW, if you're going to speak on what an "Ideal" relationship is you should at least put how long you've been with your Special Other.

ALOT changes over time, it's more relevant that the "Ideal" relationship can outlast the ever-changing times.

[Spartanbaziotis]

Bahaha, I am 23, what the fcuk do I know about "ideal"?? Also, for most of the people around my age who are all "I HAVE IT!" I just wanna be like....yeeeeeah...been there myself it'll pass.
I don't miss dating much honestly. I'm not too concerned with finding "the one" or whatever it is we're all supposed to be looking for out here(sorry mom...but not really ).
There is one thing I would never put up with again now that I think about it, and so that I answer the question at least a little haha. Someone who thinks that their way is the best, actually, only way that things should be done. Not happening again.
Ideal relationship? just act like a bloody adult. Be straightforward, don't drop some hints or any bullsh*t like that.
But like I said, 23, what the hell do I know? haha

[latebloomingmom]

FWIW, if you're going to speak on what an "Ideal" relationship is you should at least put how long you've been with your Special Other.

ALOT changes over time, it's more relevant that the "Ideal" relationship can outlast the ever-changing times.

ooooooooo fine
this was part of the reason I wanted ages listed also
our idea of what makes for a good relationship changes over time I think
Yes I agree that what may be ideal for one is not for another
and if you got one that lasts the test of time? cough up those secrets man

[taiga1]

Maybe this would be enough....










jk







i think

[PLANETGETLOW]

ooooooooo fine
this was part of the reason I wanted ages listed also
our idea of what makes for a good relationship changes over time I think
Yes I agree that what may be ideal for one is not for another
and if you got one that lasts the test of time? cough up those secrets man

HA!

I didn't mean anything specific by my comment.

As far as how to make a relationship last, it varies on ALOT. What might work for us, might not work for another couple. I like to have fun, I'm REAL, I don't play games, I'm honest, and I take chances (certain). You should not have to FORCE a relationship.

I've been with my wife 21 years.....

[latebloomingmom]

HA!

I didn't mean anything specific by my comment.

As far as how to make a relationship last, it varies on ALOT. What might work for us, might not work for another couple. I like to have fun, I'm REAL, I don't play games, I'm honest, and I take chances (certain). You should not have to FORCE a relationship.

I've been with my wife 21 years.....

I was with my husband for 21 years
but I am not giving advice...oooo ok but not much

[dsm246]

ooooooooo fine
this was part of the reason I wanted ages listed also
our idea of what makes for a good relationship changes over time I think
Yes I agree that what may be ideal for one is not for another
and if you got one that lasts the test of time? cough up those secrets man

I do think relationships and our attitudes about them change over time. I know compared to how I was when I got married 24 years ago, I value and want more independence than I did then. I also feel far less bound to traditional expectations and roles now. Over time, my husband and I have developed a number of independent interests and friends as well as things we enjoy doing together. The independent interests and time apart make for more interesting times together though. We have so much more to talk about and share. It is easy to run out of stuff to talk about after 24 years if you aren't constantly exploring and evolving. In the early years of our relationship, we did nearly everything together and now it is much more balanced.

[michpc]

I love hearing all the perspectives in this thread. After ending things with my bf of almost 7 years last summer, I wondered whether I could ever be happy living with anyone, so I'm glad to see that so many others feel the same haha. Either we're all just selfish, or living together will just never be a cakewalk.

As far as opposites attract, I think that has some credence with regard to personality...I have a short fuse and hate being wrong, so when I'm dealing with someone of the same personality, it's volatile. Someone who is more laid back can diffuse my anger much more quickly.

As for ideals, it's been said...a great partner (I absolutely won't take the "caretaker" role in a relationship) with similar interests, who can challenge me intellectually and physically, and the rest of the ideals will likely change over time.

Back in the dating game at the moment, while also trying to stay in shape and finish grad school...I'm probably nuts.

[bigfish18q]

I love hearing all the perspectives in this thread. After ending things with my bf of almost 7 years last summer, I wondered whether I could ever be happy living with anyone, so I'm glad to see that so many others feel the same haha. Either we're all just selfish, or living together will just never be a cakewalk.

As far as opposites attract, I think that has some credence with regard to personality...I have a short fuse and hate being wrong, so when I'm dealing with someone of the same personality, it's volatile. Someone who is more laid back can diffuse my anger much more quickly.

As for ideals, it's been said...a great partner (I absolutely won't take the "caretaker" role in a relationship) with similar interests, who can challenge me intellectually and physically, and the rest of the ideals will likely change over time.

Back in the dating game at the moment, while also trying to stay in shape and finish grad school...I'm probably nuts.

I think you have a point as far as personality goes at least to that extent. Two people with a short fuse is a recipe for destruction, but I also think you need a lot of common interests to make it last. Otherwise I feel like you're going to spend a lot of time apart, or in different rooms at least.

[PLANETGETLOW]

I think I killed this thread.

I've met ALOT of people and many of them are divorced or single. Seems like only a small percentage have been together for a significant period of time.

[mrshester]

Hubs and I have been "together" for almost 10 years, married for 6 this past November. I adopted many of my grandparents' views on marriage, and so did my husband. Not always easy, plenty of days I get so angry I start to entertain thoughts of other things...but always come back to wanting to be with him for the long haul.

[penny0527]

Seems like only a small percentage have been together for a significant period of time.

well, thread killer. I agree with you on that. Also most people have been married more than once. Not a lot of people stay together these days it seems.

I have been married a little less than 7 years.

[latebloomingmom]

I think I killed this thread.

I've met ALOT of people and many of them are divorced or single. Seems like only a small percentage have been together for a significant period of time.

well I didnt think it was gonna go on forever ya know
my thread..not my marriage
my marriage I did think that about
once upon a time..

[michpc]

I think you have a point as far as personality goes at least to that extent. Two people with a short fuse is a recipe for destruction, but I also think you need a lot of common interests to make it last. Otherwise I feel like you're going to spend a lot of time apart, or in different rooms at least.

Well of course...and musical tastes too! Never realized how important that was till I absolutely wanted to smash the radio every time we were in a car together.

[PLANETGETLOW]

well, thread killer. I agree with you on that. Also most people have been married more than once. Not a lot of people stay together these days it seems.

I have been married a little less than 7 years.

HA! congrats on 7 years!

well I didnt think it was gonna go on forever ya know
my thread..not my marriage
my marriage I did think that about
once upon a time..

Awwwe.......don't give up

[latebloomingmom]

HA! congrats on 7 years!

Awwwe.......don't give up

not on love just on that particular toxic relationship for me
I am still for marriage and love for everyone else

[michpc]

I thought this was appropriate for this thread considering half the responses, haha

[HUsoldier1212]

- Built on trust, passion, stability, maturity, goals, aspirations, loyalty and respect.

If you consider these when picking a SO, the rest falls into place.

[latebloomingmom]

bump so I can read this sh*t again...

[Hannah82]

I'm 30 married 10 years 2 kids.

Ideal for me is finding your complimentary opposite so you fill each others gaps, perseverance to not give up in hard times when you know the love is still there, mutual respect, being open and self aware with willingness to compromise. No substance probs, this is where me and hubs have issues for excessive drinking, smoking, and excessive energy drink consumption.

My husband is TOTAL opposite to me. He eats dark meat I eat white meat so we never waste chicken so thats good lol. He is the chill out to my high strung, the patience to my impatience, the lets think this thru to my instant gratification. He is my comic relief. On the other hand I am the big mouth to him letting ppl take advantage of him, the flavor to his bland, the outgoing to his shy.....

He is loyal and hardworking and I love him loads even when I think I hate him.

[Wyomann]

I'm 30 married 10 years 2 kids.

Ideal for me is finding your complimentary opposite so you fill each others gaps, perseverance to not give up in hard times when you know the love is still there, mutual respect, being open and self aware with willingness to compromise. No substance probs, this is where me and hubs have issues for excessive drinking, smoking, and excessive energy drink consumption.

My husband is TOTAL opposite to me. He eats dark meat I eat white meat so we never waste chicken so thats good lol. He is the chill out to my high strung, the patience to my impatience, the lets think this thru to my instant gratification. He is my comic relief. On the other hand I am the big mouth to him letting ppl take advantage of him, the flavor to his bland, the outgoing to his shy.....

He is loyal and hardworking and I love him loads even when I think I hate him.

That's the opposite of my GF and I. My GF and I are mostly similar to each other and not opposites. We are both into lifting, eat the same, same political perspectives, both similarly educated, work oriented, both non religious, same life goals. The only thing I can even think of that's different is I want sex 24/7 and she doesn't and I love scary movies and she hates them. Other than that we match up really well.

[Hannah82]

That's the opposite of my GF and I. My GF and I are mostly similar to each other and not opposites. We are both into lifting, eat the same, same political perspectives, both similarly educated, work oriented, both non religious, same life goals. The only thing I can even think of that's different is I want sex 24/7 and she doesn't and I love scary movies and she hates them. Other than that we match up really well.

Ya we do not agree on music or movies. We are both non religious somewhat liberal and are on the same page parenting wise which is important. I believe it is important to have some basic fundamentals in common.

[TeayotaSoupra]

I'm 29 and one divorce.
I've learned to never settle for anyone. Bad idea.. End up unhappy with yourself and everything in life.

Ideal is someone who is my best friend and not big on going out drinking. It's never been my thing.
But what seems to be the hardest thing to find is someone who is a "giver" like me. Or at least close. I'm all about pleasing my man I don't mind to do all the cleaning and to make sure he feels good. BUT I keep getting the men who just take and never give back. I compliment them and never get a damn word back. My ex husband actually use to put me down. I get to the point where I feel dumb for trying so I give up. Then things go bland.

I want to have fun. Play with each other.. Go outside and be active. Pick on one another. If I take time to get ready to go somewhere freakin say I look nice!!!
Someone who isn't jealous. All my friends are male, always have been.

I want us both to try to keep the passion. 50/50 relationship.
And my god a man who won't lie to me. I'm a VERY understanding chic. You do something that pisses me off but come clean about it I grind my teeth and say please don't do that crap again or else... You do it and lie I'm done. I deal with lieing idiots at work.. Don't want it at home.


Hmm I sound disgruntled lol

[Cara0915]

That's the opposite of my GF and I. My GF and I are mostly similar to each other and not opposites. We are both into lifting, eat the same, same political perspectives, both similarly educated, work oriented, both non religious, same life goals. The only thing I can even think of that's different is I want sex 24/7 and she doesn't and I love scary movies and she hates them. Other than that we match up really well.

Hah that's my guy and i too. Except sex, we're usually both on the same page. I hate scary and he loves them.
Other than that were so similar.
I'd say my ideal relationship is the one I'm in now. I've never loved anyone so fiercely as I love him.
I always used to think of relationships are temporary. I never saw a future with anyone. Ok maybe when I was young and dumb and didn't know any better thinking my first "love" was the only person I'd ever be with.
We were friends before getting together so we have a solid friendship on top of our lovers relationship.

[aintevenmad]

actually I wouldnt mind having a wife now that I think about it

I really WOULDN'T mind a wife, too bad I'm female.

I go to work, bring in the money, come home to a clean house and a warm meal? I take out the trash and mow the lawn and fix shiz around the house? Compliment your pedicure and new outfit? Done.

[BrotherWolf]

I'm 30 married 10 years 2 kids.

Ideal for me is finding your complimentary opposite so you fill each others gaps, perseverance to not give up in hard times when you know the love is still there, mutual respect, being open and self aware with willingness to compromise. No substance probs, this is where me and hubs have issues for excessive drinking, smoking, and excessive energy drink consumption.

My husband is TOTAL opposite to me. He eats dark meat I eat white meat so we never waste chicken so thats good lol. He is the chill out to my high strung, the patience to my impatience, the lets think this thru to my instant gratification. He is my comic relief. On the other hand I am the big mouth to him letting ppl take advantage of him, the flavor to his bland, the outgoing to his shy.....

He is loyal and hardworking and I love him loads even when I think I hate him.

I am on spread with you

thank god I am not the only one that thinks (complimentary) opposite is awesome .. it's a great thing
I'd quote you word for word

[BrotherWolf]

I'm 29 and one divorce.
I've learned to never settle for anyone. Bad idea.. End up unhappy with yourself and everything in life.

missing out and settling, 2 things that can ruin your life and make you miserable
I believe true love, combined with that "magic" doesn't happen so often in life..

If you think you found it then its better to hang on to it,
if you can't find it, don't give up and settle because you never know , and this settling happens (a lot these days) for many reasons like compatibility
career/money, family , religion etc.. I know quite a few people who have settled for financial convenience, they all live miserable lives

[Hannah82]

I am on spread with you

thank god I am not the only one that thinks (complimentary) opposite is awesome .. it's a great thing
I'd quote you word for word

Yay twinsies ;^) glad I'm not the only one too