FA's confidence has been destroyed so much they are beyond help

[basto23]

Your argument isn't anywhere close to a 10/10.

By the way - sites like MeetUp are for people who are equally socially dysfunctional to find comfort in each other's dysfunctionality. Sites like PUA is a savvy business person capitalizating on the desperation of FA'ers belief that becoming more socially astute can be packaged and sold as a formula and successfully commercialized.

Again - you're using backwards induction reasoning from the perspective of someone who's socially dysfunctional. You're basing why you think someone's doing something through your own distorted FA'er colored glasses. If your assumptions about people were accurate - you'd have friends and be actively dating. You aren't - so what does that say about you know about people? It says you know absolutely nothing (right).

If people were to just join any random group, organization, or club I'd subscribe to your notion that people are just wanting to meet people. But that isn't the case, people go to attend places that they first and foremost are going to be interested in. That's a major FA'er flaw that all y'all retards have - you go to places where you guys stick out like thumbs and come off as a try hard and aren't natural. For a lack of a better term you guys aren't in your element because you guys try to force social situations.

Where did I say you could ever meet a girl without speaking a word? What I'm saying is - we all start off with zero experience. Yet somehow for you guys it seems to be an excuse to justify you're own weird behaviour. We were all FA'ers at one point - just for some of us we grew out of it when we were 15 rather than when we were 25.

So yes - basically - you're a *******.

PS. No clue why you accuse me of being angry - I just think you're pathetic. I don't have a problem getting chicks and I'm not an FA'er - I just think it's pathetic and sad how socially retarded you guys all are and I pity you. Oh - oh wait no I don't because for most of you guys the answer isn't that difficult.

No ******* we dont know what we are doing with girls you are obviously in sync and know what you are doing people like me who go 22 years without any experience with girls are gonna be lost. **** off.

[The_Champ01]

First step: Be prepared to fail, FAs are scared to death of failure, if you aren't prepared to fail then you aren't prepared to succeed.

[FryDude]

Why the **** did you register again? Please ****ing ago you are beyond help (srs). YOU in specific are beyond help, not all FA'ers.

[basto23]

First step: Be prepared to fail, FAs are scared to death of failure, if you aren't prepared to fail then you aren't prepared to succeed.

Anyone who has no social status and has had constant failure is scared to death of failure, this is no mystery. I don't get it i've failed so many ****ing times with girls i've had my feelings hurt so many times from girls because i simply wasn't good enough how in the **** do you think i'm just going to have any confidence at all when it comes to girls. Eventually it comes to the point there is no point in trying because you have no ****ing confidence.

Failure is crucial to fa's

[basto23]

I dont get how you are supposed to advance with females when you are like me and have hardly any experience at 24 i talk to girls i try to go out with them but nothing ever changes. I just don't ****ing understand them. I'm so behind everyone else i feel like my only chance is to find that perfect match who understands me but i doubt that will ever happen no good looking girls will give a **** about me they have a million other options

[The_Champ01]

Anyone who has no social status and has had constant failure is scared to death of failure, this is no mystery. I don't get it i've failed so many ****ing times with girls i've had my feelings hurt so many times from girls because i simply wasn't good enough how in the **** do you think i'm just going to have any confidence at all when it comes to girls. Eventually it comes to the point there is no point in trying because you have no ****ing confidence.

Failure is crucial to fa's

I'm unsure as to why you keep failing, perhaps, you need to make adjustments to power through to success if you keep doing the same thing I guess. I've seen some pathetic fuglies lay top shelf women and this keeps me in the game. I've failed **** tonne too man, I've had a lot of success too.

[basto23]

I'm unsure as to why you keep failing, perhaps, you need to make adjustments to power through to success if you keep doing the same thing I guess. I've seen some pathetic fuglies lay top shelf women and this keeps me in the game. I've failed **** tonne too man, I've had a lot of success too.

Shyness and hardly any experience with girls. Yeah i see plenty of fuglies with girls it blows my ****ing mind too i don't get it.

[The_Champ01]

Shyness and hardly any experience with girls. Yeah i see plenty of fuglies with girls it blows my ****ing mind too i don't get it.

Where do you live? Find a PUA forum for your local area and see if you can find a wingman to hit the night spots with. Read some PUA material too, most of it is garbage and they are essentially trying to sell a product so just be careful not to fall for the "This one line will make her panties melt" bull**** and pay out the $$ everything you need is online and free. I've learnt more applicable information just approaching 10 girls then I did reading ten books.

[mrdot]

Where do you live? Find a PUA forum for your local area and see if you can find a wingman to hit the night spots with. Read some PUA material too, most of it is garbage and they are essentially trying to sell a product so just be careful not to fall for the "This one line will make her panties melt" bull**** and pay out the $$ everything you need is online and free. I've learnt more applicable information just approaching 10 girls then I did reading ten books.

You could be a ****ing master at pua but it wont ****ing matter if u have no ****ing social connections or a group of friends

Girls clearly dont give a **** about how aesthetic you are or how good your game is if you dont have a ton of friends

[basto23]

You could be a ****ing master at pua but it wont ****ing matter if u have no ****ing social connections or a group of friends

Girls clearly dont give a **** about how aesthetic you are or how good your game is if you dont have a ton of friends

haha exactly they will just next ppl lke us no matter how attractive we appear to them

[rbsx]

Shyness and hardly any experience with girls. Yeah i see plenty of fuglies with girls it blows my ****ing mind too i don't get it.

Please... Sign off the computer and go outside. At least it will be a first step.

[DukeValentino]

Fock brahs seriously just shed a tear watching the perks of being a wallflower... Fuark I highly recommend all FA's to stay away from that movie... Will seriously make you depressed at the life you never had...

[The_Champ01]

You could be a ****ing master at pua but it wont ****ing matter if u have no ****ing social connections or a group of friends

Girls clearly dont give a **** about how aesthetic you are or how good your game is if you dont have a ton of friends

Huh? You can expand your social circle this way, by meeting new friends with a common goal to meet women. Expand it else where as well, join a team sport, I met heaps of guys through joining a local NRL team that I now call friends and hang with regularly. I have NEVER had a ONS ask me "ohh geez how many friends do you have?" If < 20 I will not root you. I approach in a club, my game is on point, then we generally make plans to kick on back at her place. My last girlfriend I met asking her out at a shop she was working in, she didn't even meet a single friend of mine until the 4th date.

[JewishMuslim]

Having no friends, no decent experience with women, failure with women and socializing in general at an advanced age. How the **** do you even recover from this? How in the hell do FAs gain confidence when they have been crushed so many times and live their entire lives in near complete isolation? How do you compete with other guys with girls? Honestly when you get passed high school nobody cares about FA's so how do we ever make friends and expand out social circle?

How about forgetting women? Go to Africa or join a charity near by. There is more to life than women.

Try it...

[GMan35]

The problem is that the pressure these guys put on themselves is entirely self imposed. It's like they believe that they're supposed to get laid regularly and always have a girl on the go when that's simply not the case.

The difference between most regular guys and these *******s is that they're apathetic about getting laid and towards chicks.... basically girls aren't the be all and end all FA'ers make them out to be. Seriously, if I don't get laid for a while, or don't date a chick for a bit... it's water off a ducks back.... BECAUSE IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL.

If an FA'er doesn't get laid it's cause for crippling anxiety, introspection and self evisceration and then a search for a "better strategy" (whatever the **** that means). It's basically the end of their world.

FA'ers need to stop giving a ****, their desperation reeks out of their pores, and accept that some people get laid more than others, and living your own life, rather than changing yourself to attract someone, is probably the most loyal and true thing for yourself, and also the most attractive thing to a girl.

Smart man

[GMan35]

This thread is so depressing. Step #1 for you *******s is to step away from keyboard, quit fapping, and get out of house.

[InstantLoser]

This thread is so depressing. Step #1 for you *******s is to step away from keyboard, quit fapping, and get out of house.

I don't know why you a$$h0les keep using the word ******* to describe us FA's. That'd imply we were gay, and having sex with men, which is clearly not the case since (obviously) none of us can get laid.
Do you think that calling us names will somehow get us to "man up" as you call it? I'm every bit as much of a man as you jock douchebags are that come on here with your pseudo-advice. How many of you are veterans? I've had plenty of time "away from the keyboard". Even in the best shape of my life, with plenty of Army buddies, and going out with those guys to Seattle and Tacoma.. going to concerts, clubs, bars, etc. I never felt like I belonged in those places, and I never made any female friends, let alone dated anyone. I had plenty of confidence back then. Maybe not social confidence, but I liked myself a lot better. The way you people make it sound, I should have had no problems getting laid, but it never happened, because getting laid is fukking impossible, and it always will be.

I'm so sick of people with no clue what they're talking about trying to act like subject matter experts. It is possible for us to be doing everything right and still fail. You guys say we're afraid of rejection. I disagree. It's not fear of rejection that keeps me FA.. it's certainty of it. How many times do I need to be rejected before I accept reality? I am incapable of attracting a mate. It's ok too. I really don't want kids anyway. This is a fukked up world, and I don't want to try raising children, knowing they'd inherit my crappy genetics, and knowing that if I had a son, he'd probably end up like me. I would prefer to spare any possible offspring the youth I spent in social isolation, constantly teased and treated like **** by everyone, even teachers. Mostly I know I wouldn't be a good father figure. What possible lessons could I impart? How to suck at everything, and go through life alone? That's one lesson nobody should have to learn.

[rbsx]

I don't know why you a$$h0les keep using the word ******* to describe us FA's. That'd imply we were gay, and having sex with men, which is clearly not the case since (obviously) none of us can get laid.
Do you think that calling us names will somehow get us to "man up" as you call it? I'm every bit as much of a man as you jock douchebags are that come on here with your pseudo-advice. How many of you are veterans? I've had plenty of time "away from the keyboard". Even in the best shape of my life, with plenty of Army buddies, and going out with those guys to Seattle and Tacoma.. going to concerts, clubs, bars, etc. I never felt like I belonged in those places, and I never made any female friends, let alone dated anyone. I had plenty of confidence back then. Maybe not social confidence, but I liked myself a lot better. The way you people make it sound, I should have had no problems getting laid, but it never happened, because getting laid is fukking impossible, and it always will be.

I'm so sick of people with no clue what they're talking about trying to act like subject matter experts. It is possible for us to be doing everything right and still fail. You guys say we're afraid of rejection. I disagree. It's not fear of rejection that keeps me FA.. it's certainty of it. How many times do I need to be rejected before I accept reality? I am incapable of attracting a mate. It's ok too. I really don't want kids anyway. This is a fukked up world, and I don't want to try raising children, knowing they'd inherit my crappy genetics, and knowing that if I had a son, he'd probably end up like me. I would prefer to spare any possible offspring the youth I spent in social isolation, constantly teased and treated like **** by everyone, even teachers. Mostly I know I wouldn't be a good father figure. What possible lessons could I impart? How to suck at everything, and go through life alone? That's one lesson nobody should have to learn.

You sign up with a name like instantloser - bud with an attitude like that no wonder you're an FA'er.

Again - this is't rock science.

[BurrowedLurker]

I don't know why you a$$h0les keep using the word ******* to describe us FA's. That'd imply we were gay, and having sex with men, which is clearly not the case since (obviously) none of us can get laid.
Do you think that calling us names will somehow get us to "man up" as you call it? I'm every bit as much of a man as you jock douchebags are that come on here with your pseudo-advice. How many of you are veterans? I've had plenty of time "away from the keyboard". Even in the best shape of my life, with plenty of Army buddies, and going out with those guys to Seattle and Tacoma.. going to concerts, clubs, bars, etc. I never felt like I belonged in those places, and I never made any female friends, let alone dated anyone. I had plenty of confidence back then. Maybe not social confidence, but I liked myself a lot better. The way you people make it sound, I should have had no problems getting laid, but it never happened, because getting laid is fukking impossible, and it always will be.

I'm so sick of people with no clue what they're talking about trying to act like subject matter experts. It is possible for us to be doing everything right and still fail. You guys say we're afraid of rejection. I disagree. It's not fear of rejection that keeps me FA.. it's certainty of it. How many times do I need to be rejected before I accept reality? I am incapable of attracting a mate. It's ok too. I really don't want kids anyway. This is a fukked up world, and I don't want to try raising children, knowing they'd inherit my crappy genetics, and knowing that if I had a son, he'd probably end up like me. I would prefer to spare any possible offspring the youth I spent in social isolation, constantly teased and treated like **** by everyone, even teachers. Mostly I know I wouldn't be a good father figure. What possible lessons could I impart? How to suck at everything, and go through life alone? That's one lesson nobody should have to learn.

You don't suck at everything bro.

Everyone is good at something.

I see that you weren't feeling it in bars clubs and concerts...

An earlier post had it right I think. Join a club for a hobby. Start gaining social experience little by little, even if it only means helping some.

You said you were treated li

[BurrowedLurker]

I don't know why you a$$h0les keep using the word ******* to describe us FA's. That'd imply we were gay, and having sex with men, which is clearly not the case since (obviously) none of us can get laid.
Do you think that calling us names will somehow get us to "man up" as you call it? I'm every bit as much of a man as you jock douchebags are that come on here with your pseudo-advice. How many of you are veterans? I've had plenty of time "away from the keyboard". Even in the best shape of my life, with plenty of Army buddies, and going out with those guys to Seattle and Tacoma.. going to concerts, clubs, bars, etc. I never felt like I belonged in those places, and I never made any female friends, let alone dated anyone. I had plenty of confidence back then. Maybe not social confidence, but I liked myself a lot better. The way you people make it sound, I should have had no problems getting laid, but it never happened, because getting laid is fukking impossible, and it always will be.

I'm so sick of people with no clue what they're talking about trying to act like subject matter experts. It is possible for us to be doing everything right and still fail. You guys say we're afraid of rejection. I disagree. It's not fear of rejection that keeps me FA.. it's certainty of it. How many times do I need to be rejected before I accept reality? I am incapable of attracting a mate. It's ok too. I really don't want kids anyway. This is a fukked up world, and I don't want to try raising children, knowing they'd inherit my crappy genetics, and knowing that if I had a son, he'd probably end up like me. I would prefer to spare any possible offspring the youth I spent in social isolation, constantly teased and treated like **** by everyone, even teachers. Mostly I know I wouldn't be a good father figure. What possible lessons could I impart? How to suck at everything, and go through life alone? That's one lesson nobody should have to learn.

You don't suck at everything bro.

Everyone is good at something.

I see that you weren't feeling it in bars clubs and concerts...

An earlier post had it right I think. Join a club for a hobby. Start gaining social experience little by little, even if it only means helping someone get better at something.

You said you were treated like ****. Try surrounding yourself by people that don't.


Start with the baby steps.

You said you have no way to attract a mate right? What I suggest is observing people socializing in public. Listen to the conversations and take note at what the people are doing in each part of the interaction. Think about why those interactions make the other person want to be around the other.

People want to be around people who can make them feel good, tell jokes, stories, be able to listen, be able to challenge them, be able to show genuine interest in the person, and be able to have fun. You want to present those qualities first before asking a woman out.

Master the basics before anything else.

So go out there and join that little organization of yours, and talk to people with the intention to make your presence enjoyable. Take those baby steps and take notice of how people like being around you when you do something right, that's how you get social confidence (which you never had). And yes this does mean telling an interesting story or having an interesting debate.

More importantly, do things that you enjoy, to put your self in a better mood. Get in better shape, become good at doing certain things. It's easier to be social when you are not angry.

[iamdetermined]

I don't know why you a$$h0les keep using the word ******* to describe us FA's. That'd imply we were gay, and having sex with men, which is clearly not the case since (obviously) none of us can get laid.
Do you think that calling us names will somehow get us to "man up" as you call it? I'm every bit as much of a man as you jock douchebags are that come on here with your pseudo-advice. How many of you are veterans? I've had plenty of time "away from the keyboard". Even in the best shape of my life, with plenty of Army buddies, and going out with those guys to Seattle and Tacoma.. going to concerts, clubs, bars, etc. I never felt like I belonged in those places, and I never made any female friends, let alone dated anyone. I had plenty of confidence back then. Maybe not social confidence, but I liked myself a lot better. The way you people make it sound, I should have had no problems getting laid, but it never happened, because getting laid is fukking impossible, and it always will be.

I'm so sick of people with no clue what they're talking about trying to act like subject matter experts. It is possible for us to be doing everything right and still fail. You guys say we're afraid of rejection. I disagree. It's not fear of rejection that keeps me FA.. it's certainty of it. How many times do I need to be rejected before I accept reality? I am incapable of attracting a mate. It's ok too. I really don't want kids anyway. This is a fukked up world, and I don't want to try raising children, knowing they'd inherit my crappy genetics, and knowing that if I had a son, he'd probably end up like me. I would prefer to spare any possible offspring the youth I spent in social isolation, constantly teased and treated like **** by everyone, even teachers. Mostly I know I wouldn't be a good father figure. What possible lessons could I impart? How to suck at everything, and go through life alone? That's one lesson nobody should have to learn.

Didn't want to enter this thread as i thought that it would just be another FA circle jerk and im trying hard not to stop coming here and just wallowing in my self pity but this was actually a good post except one part which i just learned. Where you said we can be doing everything right and still fail that is not true at all....i always thought i knew everything but just realized how bad my "game" is. Chances are you are not doing something right, if you were then youd be getting laid. Though i agree a lot with the part about rejection its usually because you are not changing your ways...just stop coming on here and typing stuff like this after a whille it will just make you worse than you already were

[BurrowedLurker]

Didn't want to enter this thread as i thought that it would just be another FA circle jerk and im trying hard not to stop coming here and just wallowing in my self pity but this was actually a good post except one part which i just learned. Where you said we can be doing everything right and still fail that is not true at all....i always thought i knew everything but just realized how bad my "game" is. Chances are you are not doing something right, if you were then youd be getting laid. Though i agree a lot with the part about rejection its usually because you are not changing your ways...just stop coming on here and typing stuff like this after a whille it will just make you worse than you already were

This. The first step is to acknowledge that you know nothing.

[AlphaDog3]

OP, your speaking too generic to get real help. "I fail with women..." How exactly do you fail? Do you fail at initiating conversation with them? Do you fail at getting numbers?

"You are so far behind..." Exactly what do you mean and what efforts are you making to get up to speed. People have suggested meetup.com, I'm suggesting church or charity work. You have to put some effort, other than Mormons no one is going to come to your door and ask you to join up with them.

Honestly, I am probably worse of than you socially when it comes to females, but I am working on it and my mentality is nowhere defeated as yours. Some lady even called me scared at a party this weekend because I would not approach some old lady. Wasn't attracted to her so why bother. Lady is crazy anyways... let stuff roll off your back and don't take it too personal. People say/do mean things and yeah sometimes they are right, but a lot of time they are just insecure individuals themselves.

Anyways, I'm making some effort to get out more and put myself in better situations... why not give it a try yourself? And, if you give more specific examples I think you might get more help on here.

[AlphaDog3]

I think the guys talking about confidence are spot on. It's more important than game, money, looks, whatever... confidence in yourself. You can't control external factors, but you can control yourself. Just because things in life don't go exactly as you wanted doesn't make you any less of a person or take away from who you are.

[basto23]

Fock brahs seriously just shed a tear watching the perks of being a wallflower... Fuark I highly recommend all FA's to stay away from that movie... Will seriously make you depressed at the life you never had...

Saw the trailer ****ing depressing as fock.

[basto23]

OP, your speaking too generic to get real help. "I fail with women..." How exactly do you fail? Do you fail at initiating conversation with them? Do you fail at getting numbers?

"You are so far behind..." Exactly what do you mean and what efforts are you making to get up to speed. People have suggested meetup.com, I'm suggesting church or charity work. You have to put some effort, other than Mormons no one is going to come to your door and ask you to join up with them.

Honestly, I am probably worse of than you socially when it comes to females, but I am working on it and my mentality is nowhere defeated as yours. Some lady even called me scared at a party this weekend because I would not approach some old lady. Wasn't attracted to her so why bother. Lady is crazy anyways... let stuff roll off your back and don't take it too personal. People say/do mean things and yeah sometimes they are right, but a lot of time they are just insecure individuals themselves.

Anyways, I'm making some effort to get out more and put myself in better situations... why not give it a try yourself? And, if you give more specific examples I think you might get more help on here.

Can't keep them interested for more than a minute, get left on dates etc etc

[BurrowedLurker]

Can't keep them interested for more than a minute, get left on dates etc etc

What are you doing to try and hold interest.

[AlphaDog3]

Can't keep them interested for more than a minute, get left on dates etc etc

That's not your fault, that's the girls fault for being straight up rude. Find better quality girls.

BTW... I have not been on a formal date in 2-3 years. She never called/text'd me back after I text'd her 1x and called her 1x for date 2. Been on friendly dates though, which I guess if you look at it can be good practice interacting other than not being romantically interested.

Your outlook is too negative and nothing good will come from it. Start being more friendly and smiling more. I'm trying man... rome wasn't built in a day.

[LikeAMachine]

Totally disagree.

In fact I think they honestly just need a little help understanding the game. The problem is, they don�t fcking listen or take lessons.

[AlphaDog3]

I just spent some time browsing those social anxiety forums... stay away. I don't see how anybody can get anything good from that. Seems like people are just getting more comfortable with their problems and finding like minded people.