Every breath is a gift: This is the journey to make them all count!

[The Big Sleep]

The Journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step."-Lao Tzu

I would like to begin by thanking all that follow along and I hope to see some familiar faces from the past crew that helped me.I would also like to say that a lot of the motivation to start logging again has stemmed from seeing how much progress everybody who I follow on the forums has been making; you guys know who you are

This log is my journey to a HEALTHIER, STRONGER, and BETTER Life.

I welcome and appreciate any CONSTRUCTIVE comments

A Brief History of Myself: (Cliffs below if you want the gist of it)
Several years ago I faced a short, albeit rough, battle with an eating disorder where I lost 70lbs in 3 months’ time. The ramifications of what I did to my body and mind left me plagued with health issues that manifested over years and held me out of the gym for the past 6-7 months. Those recent 6-7 months were some of the worst months I've been through as I was practically seeing a medical specialist every week.

It started in late November 2011, I was lifting and getting stronger and gaining weight steadily (managed to get up to 175lbs). Then I dont know what happened, but over just a few short days I literally hit a wall and could barely function all; my bones, joints and muscles all constantly ached, so much so that I could barely even manage a walk around the block most days without being completely taxed afterwards. My energy crashed, my bodyweight and appetite plummeted, I just wanted to sleep all day. I told my parents and we arranged to see an oncologist.

I had a bone-marrow biopsy performed by the oncologist after my white blood cell counts and platelets were critically low and they found that I had whats called myelodysplasia. They sometimes refer to it as pre-leukemia; so I was basically on the verge of being a cancer patient. After months of testing and trips to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN they found that my body was deficient in some important minerals needed for healthy bone marrow growth and regeneration. Due to the horrible appetite and pain I was in, I ended up losing 25-30lbs, putting me back down to 145lbs at the worst of it. The whole sequence made me realize how much damage eating disorders can do to people, and most importantly what they do to your internal environment.

I've managed to be okay despite my WBC counts still being low. They may start treatment with growth factors if my body doesn't start producing nominal WBCs on its own. Interestingly enough, I found some research that found a correlation between bone-marrow health and those who were severely underweight at one point. The good news: their bone marrow health had restored once they started to gain weight! I'm hopeful that the issue will be resolved once I start putting weight back on. I showed that to my dad and now every time he sees me he says he's going to "Shove a Big Mac down my throat if that's what it takes to get some weight back on me ".

To add to the list of woes, I was also diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis (for those who dont know, its basically is a condition where your bladder is constantly having spasms and makes you feel like you have to piss constantly). I had a surgery for electronic implant to be placed into my lower back to act as an "artificial nerve". It has helped greatly with my quality of life and Im indebted to the urologist that Ive been under the care of.

It wasn’t until I woke up after that recent surgery that I realized how much I had let down myself, my friends and my family. I remember seeing my mom pull up in our car as I was being rolled out to the curbside in a wheelchair by the nurse and thinking to myself, “I have two choices in this life: lie down and quit or stand up and fight”. On the car ride home I told my mom I wouldn’t let her or my dad down after all they’ve done to support me through the medical issues. Every breath is a gift to me now; a day to improve, a day to help others, a day to laugh, love and live.

Theres a lot more to the story, but you're not here to read a novel (or maybe you are ).

Cliffs:
-Had ED in high school, lost 70lbs in 3 months (210lbs to 140lbs)

-Steadily gained weight; floating between 165-175 for a vicious cycle of up and down years

-About 2-3 years ago was diagnosed with hypopituitarism (basically my hormones were shot)

-Late November 2011 I started to feel like waking death all at once. I had to stop lifting because I was literally hurting if I exerted any force on my body.

-Recent past 6-7 months was found to have myelodysplasia (atrophied bone marrow) due to unknown causes but likely nutrient deficiencies growing up. Bodyweight plummeted down from 175 to 145 during this time

-Was also found to have interstitial cystitis/overactive bladder in November 2011; surgical implant for spinal nerve ensued in March 2012

-After trying various treatments with all the doctors I've been seeing I feel like I'm finally starting to see the light at the end of this tunnel. Definitely ready to move on from this phase in my life.


Currently:
-Past month I have finally found myself eating more and back in the gym and I feel thousands times better already. My roommates said they can tell I look bigger already and my strength is rapidly coming back

-Saw my doctor yesterday and managed to hit the 150lb mark after being 146lb at my previous visit about 6 weeks prior (I measured in at 6'1.5" tall btw)

-Doctor said Im on the right track with the weight lifting and eating more; he emphasized that it is crucial to stay active even if I dont feel the greatest because it can help with many factors and it will keep my appetite up (which it has )




Going forward:
I'll be starting this officially on Monday, but my plan for this log is simple: To help keep me on track and improve my overall health and well-being. I do have aspirations of competing in powerlifting, but at this point I just need to take it one step at a time and focus on the main issues at hand.

I'll post a more detailed breakdown of diet, training, etc on Monday as well. I will have occasional foodp0rn as well .

[LCFCFOX]

In, good luck man.

[The Big Sleep]

In, good luck man.

Thanks LC, glad to have you man

[The Solution]

No Text message or PM about this?

Son i disappoint......

[The Big Sleep]

No Text message or PM about this?

Son i disappoint......

wanted it to be a surprise B

[IrishPilot]

In son! Full support here.

[DTrulez616]

Crazy story man but im glad to hear everything is getting better. Youre gonna make sick progress with muscle memory and rebound. IN!

[JasonDB]

In!

[snrygo]

in on first page! i expect some awesomensss, good sir.

[The Big Sleep]

In son! Full support here.

Thanks Irish, appreciate it!

Crazy story man but im glad to hear everything is getting better. Youre gonna make sick progress with muscle memory and rebound. IN!

Thats the plan Z, gotta get those "newbie" gains while you can

In!

Awesome Jason!

in on first page! i expect some awesomensss, good sir.

Awesomeness you shall receive bud

[The Big Sleep]

Training Monday, August 6th

Words of the Day: "Do not under any circumstances compare yourself to anyone else. Way too many variables for that crap...YOU need to focus on YOUR challenges."--IrishPilot

5/3/1 Wave 1 Week 3 Deadlift

Deads (VIDEO BELOW)
Barx12
95x5
125x5
-----
145x5
165x3
190x10
260x1--3 sets-->race to 3 wheels is on now!!!

Deads (@ ~60% max, 45 sec rest)
150x10 for 5 sets

Lunges
95x10
95x10

BB Calf Raises
45 x 15
55 x 15
65 x 10

-->Did some ab work and stretches to cooldown


Thoughts: My back was sore as sh*t this morning but I really wanted to deadlift so I just warmed up good and said "lets roll". Glad I did because my weights are increasing exponentially right now and its just a good feeling to be hitting the iron again

Gotta run for a bit, will be back with more elaborate update later!

[snrygo]

That's how we roll! Great deads there. Volume deads must've been a killer!

[DTrulez616]

Great job on the Deads bro! 5/3/1 is an awesome program. Im thinking of going back to it soon. Im loving the setup as well.

[ErikTheElectric]

In on this Eli.

I was subbed to your last log, and was following along. Unfortunate to see what transpired in the past months, but from the looks of things
you're on the right track and your on your way to getting your health back. I'm in for the ride man, It's really quite inspiring to see how many logs of
past ED sufferers (and some current) have been starting up. Your's is going to be my main one for the inspiration/motivation that I need to beat MY demons.

Like I mentioned in response to one of your posts in my thread, you have such a way with words. I look forward to following you in your journey!

[The Big Sleep]

That's how we roll! Great deads there. Volume deads must've been a killer!

Thanks bud, deadlifts are bar none my favorite exercise!!!

Great job on the Deads bro! 5/3/1 is an awesome program. Im thinking of going back to it soon. Im loving the setup as well.

Thanks Z, 5/3/1 kicks a$$, Id think youd make some sweet gains on it as well (not that you arent already making great progress)

In on this Eli.

I was subbed to your last log, and was following along. Unfortunate to see what transpired in the past months, but from the looks of things
you're on the right track and your on your way to getting your health back. I'm in for the ride man, It's really quite inspiring to see how many logs of
past ED sufferers (and some current) have been starting up. Your's is going to be my main one for the inspiration/motivation that I need to beat MY demons.

Like I mentioned in response to one of your posts in my thread, you have such a way with words. I look forward to following you in your journey!

Im humbled to hear you say this Erik, really appreciate the kind words. I and many others are here for you man, dont be afraid to ask if you are concerned about anything related to EDs, lifting, etc. We're all in this fight together!

[JasonDB]

Strong metabolic work using deadlifts. That is no easy task.

[MrCarl.]

Amazing story and most def. IN!
Just checked your DL video and digging the garage gym. One day I will have one of these babies with roaring music

[The Solution]

Thats what i am talking about brother. Good to talk to you on the phone last week too!
One small thing -- Push through at the top of the motion with your glutes/hamstrings (think about finishing the motion like you are rolling your pelvis/humping a girl) *srs* really engage them glutes and lower back to finish off that deadlift motion.

Good work and solid form. Lets keep eating in here brother. Gotta get that weight back.

[JasonDB]

I love the title of this log also. As someone who has been debilitated with an illness, semi-bed bound and making the fight to rebuild my body, I know how precious every breath is, every day is, and what a blessing it is to be able to train, to lift, to go beast mode. Fight the good fight and make every session count.

[The Big Sleep]

Amazing story and most def. IN!
Just checked your DL video and digging the garage gym. One day I will have one of these babies with roaring music

Thanks man, glad to have you . Garage gyms kick ass!

Thats what i am talking about brother. Good to talk to you on the phone last week too!
One small thing -- Push through at the top of the motion with your glutes/hamstrings (think about finishing the motion like you are rolling your pelvis/humping a girl) *srs* really engage them glutes and lower back to finish off that deadlift motion.

Good work and solid form. Lets keep eating in here brother. Gotta get that weight back.

Thanks for the help B, I noticed that too about the pelvic region. I have a bit of slow-down once I break my knees so Ill be incorporating more banded deads next cycle.

I love the title of this log also. As someone who has been debilitated with an illness, semi-bed bound and making the fight to rebuild my body, I know how precious every breath is, every day is, and what a blessing it is to be able to train, to lift, to go beast mode. Fight the good fight and make every session count.

Right on Jason, we all face our own battles but we're all in it together man

[The Big Sleep]

THE PLAN

Synopsis Since Returning to Weight lifting in Mid-July:

Starting Bodyweight (Fri, July 13th): 146lbs
1 rep maxes
Squat:175lbs
Bench:135lbs
Deadlift:235lbs
Press:120lbs

After first cycle of 5/3/1 (deloading this week:

Bodyweight (Fri, Aug 3rd): 150lbs(Change-->+4lbs)
1 rep maxes
Squat:185 (Change-->+10lbs)
Bench:150 (Change-->+15lbs)
Deadlift:265lbs (Change-->+30lbs)
Press:130lbs (Change-->+10lbs)


Thoughts:
Honestly, my plan is pretty simple right now: Keep doing what I just did with this first cycle of 5/3/1

If I can make anywhere near these kinds of gains every 3-4 weeks I'd be stoked. Its not likely I can keep up with the progress seen in this first cycle since a lot of it was probably muscle memory and increased appetite, but this is one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments where I can get the "newbie gain" effect so Im taking full advantage of it while it lasts.

Input on tracking diet?
During this whole ordeal with the health issues and whatnot I haven;t been meticulously tracking my macros but just eyeballing everything and trying to eat more than the previous week since my appetite is just starting to get back up to par. Granted, the scale did bump 4lbs in the past 3 weeks, do you guys think I should start tracking macros again or just keep doing what Im doing and not worry about it? I dont really care either way, its not too much of a hassle to track macros, Im just so used to not really worrying about it anymore. If I do start tracking, Im thinking of this breakdown:

Protein: 200g
Fat: 80g
Carbs (Workout Day/Rest Day): 250g/200g

Cals would come out around 2520 on workout days and 2320 on rest days, good or no?
--KEEP IN MIND I WILL INCREASE THESE ACCORDING TO WEIGHT STAGNATION, JUST LOOKING FOR A STARTING POINT TO EASE BACK INTO IT. I DO ULTIMATELY WANT TO BE HITTING "SNYGRO-ESQUE" MACROS (EVEN THOUGH THOSE NUMBERS ARE BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION)

Also, I do have a sedentary lifestyle and sit most of the day, so take that FWIW. Also, Ive cut out all forms of cardio for awhile now except for steady walks around my neighborhood whenever I just feel like getting out in the sun. I have a few routes, but they all last less than 30 minutes so nothing crazy.

[DTrulez616]

Great progress so far man! Gaining at a great rate and all the lifts are on the upward trend.

[MrCarl.]

Nice work. Calories are just numbers and adjust them when your gains stall. Though your calories are quite low but they will increase!

[The Solution]

2500/2300?
You trying to add size?
Your name Mike by chance

You know what you need to do, those aint gonna cut it.. Lets go E, get those cobwebs out of your diet, and we should be seeing 1x cheat meal in there. Practice what you preach in moderation, add 50g of carbs at least to that intake.

[The Big Sleep]

Great progress so far man! Gaining at a great rate and all the lifts are on the upward trend.

Thanks Z, hopefully I can follow in your footsteps this year

Nice work. Calories are just numbers and adjust them when your gains stall. Though your calories are quite low but they will increase!

Thanks bud, that is the plan

2500/2300?
You trying to add size?
Your name Mike by chance

You know what you need to do, those aint gonna cut it.. Lets go E, get those cobwebs out of your diet, and we should be seeing 1x cheat meal in there. Practice what you preach in moderation, add 50g of carbs at least to that intake.

FWIW, here were your recommended cals when I was 165lbs


--They look oddly similar to what I just posted and Im 15lbs lighter

[IrishPilot]

Two things.

First, those cals are right about what Im finding to be my maintenance...with a sedentary job, modest volume on 5/3/1, no cardio on lifting days, and being at ~155lbs. If you really are 10lbs heavier I would venture those cals will prove to be near or more likely UNDER your maintenance. Easily. I would agree with Bob in bumping...cho or protein is your choice I guess, but you will need more.

Second (and I had to be told this as well), I would just keeps cals consistent. Give your body the nutrition it needs to recover/grow even on non-training days. Your surplus is likely to be so minimal anyway. Just my .02c

[MrCarl.]

I would personally not eat more protein. Can get away with less imo. I would increase fat little bit (minimum is covered though) and majority CHO.

[The Big Sleep]

Two things.

First, those cals are right about what Im finding to be my maintenance...with a sedentary job, modest volume on 5/3/1, no cardio on lifting days, and being at ~155lbs. If you really are 10lbs heavier I would venture those cals will prove to be near or more likely UNDER your maintenance. Easily. I would agree with Bob in bumping...cho or protein is your choice I guess, but you will need more.

Second (and I had to be told this as well), I would just keeps cals consistent. Give your body the nutrition it needs to recover/grow even on non-training days. Your surplus is likely to be so minimal anyway. Just my .02c

Im 150, not 165lbs. Those were the macros I started with when I WAS 165lbs a few years ago.

Regardless, I think you and Bob are right that 2500 is low. My body is primed right now to get some calorie surges in it, so Im thinking more in the 2800-3000 range for workout days and then 2500 on rest days. Again, this is just to start for the first week or so, I'm really wanting to push my body out of its comfort zone with the calories.

In the past my bulks would always get cut short by stupid ED thoughts once I hit the 3000 calorie mark and the scale would jump. I think the only way to overcome that sh*t is to just say F*ck it and aim even higher, like making it a goal to be eating 3500-4000 calories in a few weeks. One of my roommates (who is a "bodybuilder") and I were talking about this and he basically said the same thing. We were talking about what triggers these thoughts; I told him I get irrational fear of fat gains when I start pushing the calories. But then he made me realize, when one steps back and thinks about it, NO ONE IN HELL CARES IF YOU PUT ON A LITTLE FLUFF. He basically just told me that honestly eating a ton of food, lifting heavy weights, and enjoying your life beats the hell out of being a pansy in the kitchen, weak, and looking like a holocaust survivor. People (especially Bob) have been pounding that into my head for years, and I can finally say that something has just clicked and my mentality towards food has changed now.

Honestly, when I came on here and saw you guys say more calories, my first thought was "Sweet, more food!!!" Im dead serious too.

Its time to grow, time to get big, time to get stronger and time to reclaim my health.

[IrishPilot]

Im 150, not 165lbs...
Its time to grow, time to get big, time to get stronger and time to reclaim my health.

Right on...then update your info, says 165lbs!

Edit: Easier said then done...mine still says 150lbs even though Ive updated it to 155.

[MrCarl.]

Right attitude! I realized the same this summer and started to progress despite being little bit injured. Today I consumed 4500kcal