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    Exclamation Who taught you how to jerk off? (srs)

    Before you phaggots say call incest, my mom taught me when I was in middle school

    she told me the motions of how to do it, but never touched my dick.



    any brahs the same?
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  2. #2
    Platinum Account DozerDane's Avatar
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    Gym teacher taught me on Penis Inspection Day at school in 7th grade.
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  4. #4
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  5. #5
    Registered User DefCrazy's Avatar
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    Wtf OP? No. I just started doing it. It's not rocket science.

    That's incredibly weird if you're serious.
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  6. #6
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    Brittany spears pepsi commercial got me going, but i did it completely wrong but laying down on my stomach (and dick) and rubbing it against the sheets and my own body, using the pressure to get me off


    it wasnt until Louis CK talked about this chit fukkin up ur dick that i learned to do it the normal way


    so technically, louis CK.
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  8. #8
    Registered User pointbreaker's Avatar
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    My son is 19 and though I have not seen him nude since he was a boy, I had seen him by accident about 6 months ago, when he had somehow ended up falling asleep naked in his room after a shower with his door wide open. He was on his back and erect in his sleep. I noticed his hard-on had a severe curve upward. It was bent very sharply like curling up bacwards. I had never seen anything like that on any man. It is about 7" long approximately and is bent more toward the tip in a definite shape of a letter "j", or a hook to attempt to describe it to you.

    I was so shocked that I panicked, and woke him up right then and there. Thinking back, it was not very tactful, but I could not wait to try to get at what appeared to be a real problem. It all made sense, how he would not shower at gym class, and didn't date, despite being a very well built and handsome boy into sports always. I had always wondered if might be gay, though he denied it always. He awoke surprised and shy that he was naked, but I moved his hands from his erect penis, and asked him what was the matter.

    We sat and talked after locking his bedroom door. He told me it had started when he was like 12 and got worse, and as I examined it more closely and attempted to straighten it out, it would straighten only very slightly before it would hurt him to force it any further. It being erect, it was very hard and stiff. We allowed it to subside by him putting on his robe a while, and was a considerably more normal in the soft state, yet still tending to be curved upwars slightly.

    I could straighten it easily while soft, but it would bend back up like rubber. As he became erect again it curled up before my eyes into the "j" hook shape.

    Now the doctors all said he is find and it's normal as far as being a medical issue. They said they could operate to attempt to fix it, but the cost was out of my reach.

    I had taken a little massage therapy classes in the past, and I even work on it for an hour or so 3 days of every week in the evening. It was embarrassing for us both in the beginning and I know it still it is, and even more so that he ejaculates every time during the massage, but it turned out to make massaging it in the post-ejaculation, semi-soft state really effective because then I can massage it and straighten it. It curls back in my hands and I massage it straight over and over again, until he becomes erect again and semi hard again after ejaculation, three times in a row, usually over a span of an hour to an hour and a half.

    It has given good results, as I would say he is 50 percent improved. I continue to treat him 3 days a week.
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  9. #9
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    OP's mom did. She definitely touched my dick tho.
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  11. #11
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    Originally Posted by DefCrazy View Post
    Wtf OP? No. I just started doing it. It's not rocket science.

    That's incredibly weird if you're serious.
    how is that weird? i didn't know how to, so i asked my mom and she told me the motions, that's it phaggot
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  12. #12
    Registered User Mikelawton's Avatar
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    lol wtf... i cant tell if some answers are srs or not, i figured every guy just figured out how to do it. you touch ur dick, it feels good, then you figure out from there what feels best. who the f*ck teaches their kid to jerk off, no offence OP if ur actually srs.

    brb need someone to teach me swallow
    brb need someone teach me to breath
    brb u get the point
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  13. #13
    Banned OrganizedBrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Mikelawton View Post
    lol wtf... i cant tell if some answers are srs or not, i figured every guy just figured out how to do it. you touch ur dick, it feels good, then you figure out from there what feels best. who the f*ck teaches their kid to jerk off, no offence OP if ur actually srs.

    brb need someone to teach me swallow
    brb need someone teach me to breath
    brb u get the point
    bro are u srs? How the hell am I suppose to know how to do it? whatever man
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  14. #14
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  15. #15
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    Originally Posted by pointbreaker View Post
    My son is 19 and though I have not seen him nude since he was a boy, I had seen him by accident about 6 months ago, when he had somehow ended up falling asleep naked in his room after a shower with his door wide open. He was on his back and erect in his sleep. I noticed his hard-on had a severe curve upward. It was bent very sharply like curling up bacwards. I had never seen anything like that on any man. It is about 7" long approximately and is bent more toward the tip in a definite shape of a letter "j", or a hook to attempt to describe it to you.

    I was so shocked that I panicked, and woke him up right then and there. Thinking back, it was not very tactful, but I could not wait to try to get at what appeared to be a real problem. It all made sense, how he would not shower at gym class, and didn't date, despite being a very well built and handsome boy into sports always. I had always wondered if might be gay, though he denied it always. He awoke surprised and shy that he was naked, but I moved his hands from his erect penis, and asked him what was the matter.

    We sat and talked after locking his bedroom door. He told me it had started when he was like 12 and got worse, and as I examined it more closely and attempted to straighten it out, it would straighten only very slightly before it would hurt him to force it any further. It being erect, it was very hard and stiff. We allowed it to subside by him putting on his robe a while, and was a considerably more normal in the soft state, yet still tending to be curved upwars slightly.

    I could straighten it easily while soft, but it would bend back up like rubber. As he became erect again it curled up before my eyes into the "j" hook shape.

    Now the doctors all said he is find and it's normal as far as being a medical issue. They said they could operate to attempt to fix it, but the cost was out of my reach.

    I had taken a little massage therapy classes in the past, and I even work on it for an hour or so 3 days of every week in the evening. It was embarrassing for us both in the beginning and I know it still it is, and even more so that he ejaculates every time during the massage, but it turned out to make massaging it in the post-ejaculation, semi-soft state really effective because then I can massage it and straighten it. It curls back in my hands and I massage it straight over and over again, until he becomes erect again and semi hard again after ejaculation, three times in a row, usually over a span of an hour to an hour and a half.

    It has given good results, as I would say he is 50 percent improved. I continue to treat him 3 days a week.
    Notsureifsrs, everybody knows how to fix this problem.

    They place a rod or stick on both sides, taping it around the dick. This forces it to stay straight, and he'll still be able to piss. Even when erect it'll have a hard time hooking. After about 8 months or so it'll be perfectly straight, or only slightly curved like a normal dick.



    No homo.


    And lol @ the fact he still lives with you at 19. Phaggot.
    I'm obviously not srs you phaggots
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  16. #16
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    Originally Posted by Adrogeus View Post
    OP's mom did. She definitely touched my dick tho.
    came in to post this
    *Coffee Crew Brah*
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  17. #17
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    uncle bob showed me, first he beat his off, then i beat mine off. he helped me clean up
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    satan came to me and showed me he told me it would be fun
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    Movie something about Mary when Ben Stiller does it in the bathroom, went to my room that night and just kept going at it for like 45 min, finally well, the rest is HISTORY



    dead srs
    I REP BACK.....IF I REP YOU AND YOU DON'T REP ME BACK PREPARE YOUR ANUS FOR A NEG ON RECHARGE (srs)
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    Originally Posted by OrganizedBrah View Post
    bro are u srs? How the hell am I suppose to know how to do it? whatever man
    how do you know how to scratch something when its itchy, did someone need to teach you how to scratch as well?

    u cant be srs lol.
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  21. #21
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    i googled it srs
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  22. #22
    I'm not fat I'm curvy R.Mutt's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Hellow533 View Post
    Notsureifsrs, everybody knows how to fix this problem.

    They place a rod or stick on both sides, taping it around the dick. This forces it to stay straight, and he'll still be able to piss. Even when erect it'll have a hard time hooking. After about 8 months or so it'll be perfectly straight, or only slightly curved like a normal dick.



    No homo.


    And lol @ the fact he still lives with you at 19. Phaggot.
    I'm obviously not srs you phaggots
    lol at the unawareness

    u sneaky bastard
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  23. #23
    Registered User Yank11's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Ashketchup View Post
    Brittany spears pepsi commercial got me going, but i did it completely wrong but laying down on my stomach (and dick) and rubbing it against the sheets and my own body, using the pressure to get me off

    that....lol
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  24. #24
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  25. #25
    [300 Spartan BeastSlayer] KyleMQuinn's Avatar
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    Taught myself. Friends called it "Beating it" as in beating off so i slapped it around a little bit and realized it felt a lot better to stroke it. 100% srs
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  26. #26
    Banned Hellow533's Avatar
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    I used to use lotion, but then my cheeky step sister put biofreeze in the bottle. I didn't notice at first for a moment because it was mixed with lotion, but later on...


    I do it dry now.
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  27. #27
    Registered User Forest239's Avatar
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    dafuq? I learned by myself lulz at people who needed teachers.
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  28. #28
    Registered Transformer shawco's Avatar
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    shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank) shawco is the lowest scum of the boards. (Worst Rank)
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    Originally Posted by magnum102 View Post
    uncle bob showed me, first he beat his off, then i beat mine off. he helped me clean up
    This. Uncle bob.
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  29. #29
    Registered User AnorexicBodyBro's Avatar
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    I learned myself. That awkward 2 handed jerk off style the first time I did it, lol.
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  30. #30
    Registered User Mounakis's Avatar
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    eh...it came natty...i did it on my own... i dont think sb has toteach u..


    U should ask ur bf to tell u how to do it OP..
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