Good Things Come In Small Packages

[BubsNBean]

Oh hun. I'm sorry. That sounds like a rough day. (((hugs))) I mention in my journal that I'm taking a class on Wednesday evenings that is requiring me to bring up some very difficult memories from my childhood in order to deal with them. I cry every class. I cry doing the homework for the class. I cry talking to my good friend who is also in the class. It's emotionally draining. On occasion it makes me want tequila. Somehow though... the training feels like a safe haven. It's keeps "normalcy" in my days.

Anyhoo... congrats on the killer workout! I have some of those C4 samples too but I haven't tried them yet. Maybe I'll forgo that and get the Craze!

I know what you mean about the crying every class. This is me too. Even if the topics are happy, I still cry I think out of joy. One of the things I'm working on with myself is to be more emotionally available. So the crying comes with it. It too can be oddly therapeutic. And I always sleep like a champ afterward!

Sorry for the long entry, y'all. I don't have a working computer at home at the moment, so I can't log stuff on the weekends unless I use my phone. Which is a royal pain the arse.

2/8/13 Nutrition:

Cals: 1467
P: 110
C: 135
F: 52

Perrty darn close. I felt good today, was super busy though.

2/9/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1785
P: 82
C: 227
F: 71

Oops. A bit high on the fat, a bit low on the protein. Still within the cal range though. I know on the "higher" carb days I'm supposed to keep things lower on the fat side. But since it's cals in v. cals out, is it a huge deal? I'm open to any/all insights on this one

No workout today. Ahhhh rest, and sleeping in. Felt good. And I baked, a ton! Chocolate chip cookies from scratch, chocolate cupcakes, salmon, and chicken for the week. I'm a bit of a stress baker. And I don't typically like sweets all that much, so it works out for me. I just pawn them off to my roommate and coworkers

2/10/11 Nutrition:
Cals: 1365
P: 113
C: 132
F: 47

Really great day, except quite a bit of GI upset. I'm not sure what I ate, but damn. Good thing I didn't have to work, it would have been dicey! Oh, and TMI Alert: If you want to play a fun trick on your loved ones, eat/drink a healthy dose of beets. And wait. I know it's gross, but what came out was such a beautiful shade of purple

2/11/13 Workout:

Heavy day, and effing AWESOME!!! I feel like a freakin' boss after this one! I was beat, but it felt so so good!

Squat: 145# 2x12
BB bench: 85 2x12
BB bent over row: 85# 2x12
BB shoulder press: 55# 2x12
SLDL: 155# 2x12 (Fuk Yeah!!!) --> this felt like a serious accomplishment. And I'm not sure what exactly qualifies as a PR, because I've certianly DLed more weight, but never 12 reps.
BB curls: 50# 2x12
Calf raise: 150# 2x12

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta!!!

Have an awesome Monday, y'all!!!

Edit: AND I'm down 2lbs!!!

[taiga1]

Woohoo!! Get it, girl!

Glad you had one of them RAWWRRR days...LOVE that!!!

[BubsNBean]

Thanks T! Definitely one of those days, BAM!!!

[bigfish18q]

Just found this one. Nice to see you beasting it too!

[BubsNBean]

Just found this one. Nice to see you beasting it too!

Come on in

[BubsNBean]

2/11/13 Nutrition:

Oh jeez... I don't even want to try to calculate. I was strong last week when it came to emotional eating, I was not strong last night. Chicken wings, fries, and frozen yogurt for dinner. Damn. It's a loss, but I tried to make up for it a little with the HIIT this morning. I'll try to keep the cals a little lower this week, and throw in another HIIT day on Saturday. Today is a new day.

2/12/13 Workout:

HIIT, hit it pretty hard today!

M100s
12 pushups with feet on box/ 20 jumping jacks x6
Plank: 15s, 30s, 45s, 60s
Tabata: High knees, side side leaps x6
Tabata: Jump lunges, traditional pushups x6
Plie squats with 20# kettle bell: 15x4
Pullups: bodyweight, 8x3
Weighted hip thrusts (I think that's what they are): 55# 3x8
Glute Ham raises: 3x8

Aaaand I'm pooped!

Long story about emotional eating:

So as many of you may be aware of, or not at all aware of, the bf and I broke up new years day. We dated a year. We had a great relationship, we understood eachother, sex was good, nothing was wrong. He's been working on business endeavors and felt that leaving northern CO was the best decision for him. So we went back and forth between what to do about our relationship. At first it was trying an open relationship but I decided I wasn't okay with it. I just can't wrap my head around him sleeping with the vampires of Las Vegas and coming home to me and telling me he loved me. Just not okay with me. So then we talked about casual dating ok, sex not ok, see eachother as much as possible. Seemed reasonable. But he still seemed so distant, and I didn't love the fact that I had to convince him that sleeping around was a bad idea if you're in a relationship. He admitted he wanted a clean slate when he left. No ties to CO, no relational issues to deal with, no romantic stresses. So we ended it there. It was painful and very sad, but I have to respect his feelings and his decisions to follow his dreams.
Since then we hadn't talked at all. No texting, no ********, no nothing. It was going okay. I had gotten past the point of being sad daily, now it was just intermittently. When things would remind me of him, a song on the radio, or an inside joke. But I wasn't crying anymore. I've gone on a few dates to keep myself entertained (of course nothing comes of it). But I'm doing okay.
Then, yesterday, I posted a picture of my arms post-workout on FB. I was so proud of myself, things are coming along and looking good. My family and I have a loving-teasing relationship. My cousing said something about me being the hulk, and my sister said I was a beast. I know these are good things and come from a place of love with them. The ex chimed in. Went on this tirade about how women who are muscular and fit shouldn't be associated with words like that because of hte connotation, and the effects it has on women that are worried about gettin "bulky." Mostly he was trying to protect me. Now why in the fuk he decided this was how he wanted to communicate with me is still a mystery. Why he felt the need to protect me, make his voice heard, blah blah blah. So all this stupid drama on FB, which is honeslty not the part that hurt the most. It was the fact that through all the banter all I could see was that he still loves me, deeply. And it shook me, hard. It took me right back to right after we broke up, when the wound was still so fresh. And even writing this I can't help but tear up. I thought I had made good strides, and just like that I'm knocked flat on my ass. It just hurts. It's so sad to me. I find myself forgetting why we decided to do this in the first place. Why we're unwilling to give it a shot. Then I remember, he doesn't want to. So here I am, back to square one with all these feelings of sadness and frustration and lonliness.
So roomie bonding over bad food and The Bachelor is what happened. I honestly did feel better afterward, but I think it was more because she's so great. I could have eaten lettuce and she'd be able to put me back in a decent mood.

Today is a new day.

[BubsNBean]

2/12/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1305
P: 118
C: 117
F: 46

Under, whew. I'll make up for those chicken wings dammit! On a happy note, my clothes are starting to feel loser. The only caveat, they don't look good on me anymore. They're getting baggy and it just looks like I'm swimming. And I'm sure as sh!t not going shopping! So, here's to swimming

2/13/13 Workout:

Medium day was my b!tch!!!

Squat: 135# 2x12
BB bench press: 75# 2x12
BB bent over row: 75# 2x12
BB shoulder press: 50# 2x12
SLDL: 140# 2x12
BB curls: 45# 2x12
Calf raises: 135# 2x12 ---> held for several seconds at the top of reps 10-12. Ouch.

I had to be out of the gym this morning in much less time than normal, so that forced me to take shorter rests between sets, but I still got through it. Fuk yeah

Oh, and I'm freakin' sore from yesterdays brutal HIIT session. Me likey!!!

[bigfish18q]

2/12/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1305
P: 118
C: 117
F: 46

Under, whew. I'll make up for those chicken wings dammit! On a happy note, my clothes are starting to feel loser. The only caveat, they don't look good on me anymore. They're getting baggy and it just looks like I'm swimming. And I'm sure as sh!t not going shopping! So, here's to swimming

2/13/13 Workout:

Medium day was my b!tch!!!

Squat: 135# 2x12
BB bench press: 75# 2x12
BB bent over row: 75# 2x12
BB shoulder press: 50# 2x12
SLDL: 140# 2x12
BB curls: 45# 2x12
Calf raises: 135# 2x12 ---> held for several seconds at the top of reps 10-12. Ouch.

I had to be out of the gym this morning in much less time than normal, so that forced me to take shorter rests between sets, but I still got through it. Fuk yeah

Oh, and I'm freakin' sore from yesterdays brutal HIIT session. Me likey!!!

Awesome squatting for your weight. SLDL look strong as well!

[taiga1]

First off, it's WANGS!! Let's get that straight um-kay? And, don't beat yourself over a cheat every now and then.

Second, you are BEASTIN' your workouts. RAWRRRR!!!

Third, I'm so sorry about your relationship stuff. Makes me sad. I no want you to be sad. This may not be what you want to hear, but I think he is being really selfish. If he is making the choice to leave...he needs to let you move on and quit screwing with your emotions already. Geez, such a crappy situation. Hugs to you, darlin'...

[BubsNBean]

Awesome squatting for your weight. SLDL look strong as well!

Thank you, but I feel like such a weakling when I'm not doing super heavy weights for lower reps. I [I]was[I] up to 165# for 6-8. I maybe should keep my mouth shut though because next week I go up 10%. YAYAYAYA!!!!!

First off, it's WANGS!! Let's get that straight um-kay? And, don't beat yourself over a cheat every now and then.

Second, you are BEASTIN' your workouts. RAWRRRR!!!

Third, I'm so sorry about your relationship stuff. Makes me sad. I no want you to be sad. This may not be what you want to hear, but I think he is being really selfish. If he is making the choice to leave...he needs to let you move on and quit screwing with your emotions already. Geez, such a crappy situation. Hugs to you, darlin'...

Hahaha, I apologize. Chicken WANGS!! Mmmmm, so damn delicious.
I agree with you about the ex... extremely selfish. We had a little more of a conversation yesterday about it. I basically told him he needs to go on his merry way since nothing has changed. He still doesn't want a girlfriend, so leave me alone. His re-entrance was not welcome. He said some mumbo jumbo about "you'll be amazing".. To which I said, "I AM amazing." He'll kick himself in a few months.

[BubsNBean]

2/13/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1468
P: 126
C: 122
F: 70

I'm a stress baker, and I made chocolate chip cookies. I had to taste the before and after

2/14/13 Workout:

Holy HIIT!!

M100s
12 pushups with feet on box/ 20 jumping jacks x6
Plank: 15s, 30s, 45s, 60s
Tabata: High knees, side side leaps x6
Tabata: Jump lunges, traditional pushups x6
Plie squats with 20# kettle bell: 15x6
Pullups: bodyweight, 8x3

No time for abs today. Woke up 45 min late! Woops!!!

Hope everyone shares and receives a little bit of love today <3

[BubsNBean]

2/14/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1842
P: 137
C: 168
F: 70

Okay, so maybe today was my high cal/carb day for the week! I had a lovely date with my roomie, she's the best. She also loves italian food, so there it is. 400 cals over in italian food. It was delicious. Next week will be better. Wait, today will be better!

2/15/13 Workout:

Light Day!

Squat: 115# 2x12
BB bench: 70# 2x12
BB bent over row: 70# 2x12
BB shoulder press: 45# 2x12
SLDL: 125# 2x12
BB curls: 40# 2x12
Calf raises: 120# 2x12

Today felt good, not tough really at all. Did a little abs since I had time today and didn't do them yesterday:

Jack-knife sit ups with 8# medicine ball: 3x12
Side twists wtih 8# medicine ball: 3x12

I'm really excited for next week. To increase in weight and see how hard I can push. For this first cycle, 10 reps was where it got really challenging. 11 was easier, and 12 was tough too. But I do think I'm stronger. Yay for gains, even the little ones

[BubsNBean]

2/15/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1449
P: 147
C: 107
F: 55

Had bison sirloin for dinner. Why don't I eat that for dinner every night?! So good!!

So, I'm escaping to Vail today. I have a good friend who lives up there and I just need to clear my brain. What better place than in the Rockies with fresh powder and a great friend?!

Oh, I posted new progress pics in my BodySpace. I'd appreciate if you guys let me know if you see progress, because I'm having a hard time convincing myself!

Have a great weekend y'all!!

[BubsNBean]

2/16/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1265
P: 101
C: 127
F: 44

A bit under, but lord knows I went over other days this week!

2/17/13 Nutrtition:
Cals: 1465
P: 107
C: 155
F: 54

Slightly over.... had sushi for dinner, it was delicious!

2/18/13 Workout:

Oy, so today I go up in weight 10%, and back down to 8 reps. It was killer!!! I feel super strong now, but during I felt like a weakling!

Squat: 160# 2x8 Tough, but I think I can push to 12 reps eventually.
BB Bench: 95# 2x8 <--- this one I'm not so sure about. I may have to go down to 90#. I was struggling at rep 6.
BB bent over row: 95# 2x8, tough, but I think I can push through this one
Shoulder press: 60# 2x8 Not as hard as I thought it would be! And my left shoulder isn't hurting like it used to. Thank you Iceman and others for tips on stretching
SLDL: 170# 2x8 PR!!!!! Whoo!!!! These were tough, but I think I got it. I switched my grip back to mixed with straps. Don't know why I was doing double overhand before. Silly.
BB curl: 55# 2x8 felt good
Calf raise: 165# 2x8 I could do more weight, but holding these at the top makes it killer

These cycle is really going to push my limits, but I'm ready. And this week will be better for the eating. I'm in a better mental state. Let's do this!

[stephanielynn76]

Had bison sirloin for dinner. Why don't I eat that for dinner every night?! So good!!

So, I'm escaping to Vail today. I have a good friend who lives up there and I just need to clear my brain. What better place than in the Rockies with fresh powder and a great friend?!

Oh, I posted new progress pics in my BodySpace. I'd appreciate if you guys let me know if you see progress, because I'm having a hard time convincing myself!

Have a great weekend y'all!!

Mmmmmmm bison! My MIL made some spaghetti with bison meatballs a while back. It was yummy! My husband is going up to Vail next month! His brother is doing a bachelor party/ski trip. It will be my husband's first time skiing! Your progress pics... dat assssssss. Lulz

Squat: 160# 2x8 Tough, but I think I can push to 12 reps eventually.
BB Bench: 95# 2x8 <--- this one I'm not so sure about. I may have to go down to 90#. I was struggling at rep 6.
BB bent over row: 95# 2x8, tough, but I think I can push through this one
Shoulder press: 60# 2x8 Not as hard as I thought it would be! And my left shoulder isn't hurting like it used to. Thank you Iceman and others for tips on stretching
SLDL: 170# 2x8 PR!!!!! Whoo!!!! These were tough, but I think I got it. I switched my grip back to mixed with straps. Don't know why I was doing double overhand before. Silly.
BB curl: 55# 2x8 felt good
Calf raise: 165# 2x8 I could do more weight, but holding these at the top makes it killer

These cycle is really going to push my limits, but I'm ready. And this week will be better for the eating. I'm in a better mental state. Let's do this!

That's a great squat there! You are strong! I can't even squat my own body weight! GJ on the SLDL. I think 160# is the most I've ever done and usually my grip gives out before the rest of me does. I need to pull out the versa grips for that next time I do them...

[bigfish18q]

Awesome numbers! Dat dere squat is looking strong!

Completely agree with the Bison as well, I've even put it in my hamburger helper before lol. So lean and tasty.

[BubsNBean]

Mmmmmmm bison! My MIL made some spaghetti with bison meatballs a while back. It was yummy! My husband is going up to Vail next month! His brother is doing a bachelor party/ski trip. It will be my husband's first time skiing! Your progress pics... dat assssssss. Lulz



That's a great squat there! You are strong! I can't even squat my own body weight! GJ on the SLDL. I think 160# is the most I've ever done and usually my grip gives out before the rest of me does. I need to pull out the versa grips for that next time I do them...

Thanks girl!! These are things that are nice to hear

Awesome numbers! Dat dere squat is looking strong!

Completely agree with the Bison as well, I've even put it in my hamburger helper before lol. So lean and tasty.

Thanks Fishy! I love squats And bison. Mmmmmmm

[BubsNBean]

2/18/13 Nutrtition:
Cals: 1318
P: 121
C: 101
F: 54

Felt satiated most the day, so I'll take it!

2/19/13 Workout:

Today is cardio day, but couldn't do my usual AM HIIT, had a meeting an hour away pretty early. So I'm gonna do a kickboxing class later. It'll be nice to change it up. Oh, and booty things per usual.

Edit: I didn't do kickboxing class, I did bootcamp instead. It was basically plyo intervals which made me super tired. But I think my normal interval schedule is more intense. Oh well, it's nice to change things up a bit. Back to my intervals tomorrow morning!

[BubsNBean]

2/19/13 Nutrtition:
Cals: 1423
P: 109
C: 134
F: 32

Perty good, especially since I had Mongolian food for dinner. Yum!!

2/20/13 Workout:

Medium day, which turns out to be the same as heavy day for the last 5 weeks. I worked, but it felt pretty easy! Hell yeah! (When I get to rep 10 I'm gonna eat my words!)

Squat: 155# 2x8
Bench Press: 85# 2x8
BB bent over row: 85# 2x8
Shoulder press: 55# 2x8
SLDL: 155# 2x8
BB curls: 50# 2x8
Calf raises: 150# 2x8

Woot!

One of my colleagues mentioned he noticed how my body has changed today. He taught me as a vet student, so he's known me around 5 years now. Asked this morning if I was a crossfitter because I'm looking buff. It's winter here, I'm not showing any skin. So that must mean you can tell through the clothes now?! Small happy, but I'll take it!!

[BubsNBean]

2/20/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1333
P: 118
C: 112
F: 37

2/21/13 Workout:

Back to my usual intervals

M100s
12 pushups with feet on box/20 jumping jacks x6
Plank: 15s, 30s, 45s, 60s
Tabata: high knees/side side leaps x6
8 per leg jump lunges/12 per side bicycle crunches x6
Bodyweight pullups 3x9!!! <---- 9 is new for me

Oblique crunchy things: 35#, 3x8
Jack knife sit ups: 8#, 3x8

STRETCH

[RyouBakua]

is it considered lurking if i post?


hmmm

[BubsNBean]

is it considered lurking if i post?


hmmm

Yes

[bigfish18q]

Just for you my little bean...

Dat Harlem shake

[BubsNBean]

Just for you my little bean...

Dat Harlem shake

Ahahahaha thanks!!!

[BubsNBean]

Weight: 118.5!!!! Down another 1.5lbs, I'll take it!

2/21/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1452
P: 140
C: 151
F: 43

I was so hungry by dinner time yesterday. I have a class from 3:30-6:30 which really pushes me to eat strategically! And it was cardio day, so of course I was famished all damn day anyway.

2/22/13 Workout:
Squat: 135# 2x8
Bench: 75# 2x8
BB bent over row: 75# 2x8
Shoulder press: 50# 2x8
SLDL: 140# 2x8
BB curl: 45# 2x8
Calf raises: 135# 2x8

Felt super easy today, barely broke a sweat at all. I'm just thinking about heavy day though, and how it kicked my arse on Monday, so I'll take the breather.

Spur of the moment trip home this weekend. I'm going to a very delayed memorial service for my grandmother. She passed the day after Thanksgiving. I'm bringing my kitchen scale It'll be nice to see my family, don't expect to see my friends much though. That's okay.

http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/im...CSJUOSRUHw.jpg

Dat stomach fluff :/

[bigfish18q]

http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/im...CSJUOSRUHw.jpg

Dat stomach fluff :/

Dem hip ridges... hnnnnggggggg looking great!

[BubsNBean]

Dem hip ridges... hnnnnggggggg looking great!

Now I'm blushing... thanks

[RyouBakua]

a pound and a half IS a pound and a half!


nice pic and good total body workout too

[BubsNBean]

a pound and a half IS a pound and a half!


nice pic and good total body workout too

Thanks RB! I'll take the 1.5lbs any day!

2/22/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1379
P: 115
C: 150
F: 47

Too high on the carbs, but I feel okay. Today was tough, I had to eat most of my food by 5:30pm because I was flying. As soon as I got off the plane I felt like I could have eaten a horse! My sis picked me up and went straight to the grocery store so I could have some nutritous food for the week. I stay with my parents when I come home, and boy do they not eat well at all! So my 9pm snack Friday night was celery and peanut butter. It was ok. I think by the time I went to bed my stomach was eating itself. I just kept thinking how much I get to eat on Saturday and that it'll be fine. Shut up stomach!!

2/23/13 Nutrition:
Cals: 1907
P: 66
C: 189
F: 67

Ugh... so I'm having a tough time keeping the fat down on high carb day. Obviously I need to pay more attention to what combinations I'm eating my carbs in, haven't done a great job. That'll be my goal for next Saturday, keep the fat low. Today wasn't exactly a day to plan meals either, I kinda had to roll with the punches. I'm proud of myself for not saboting things altogether and going way over on cals, but I certainly could have done better. We had a memorial service for my grandmother at my parents house. They made baked salmon and chicken alfredo, garlic bread, salad, and 3 different pies from Marie Calendars for dessert! Shiiit!! So I had salmon and a huge plate of salad. I drank 3 glasses of red wine, so I'm sure that's where a bit of the cals came from. And I had a slice of razzleberry pie. It was delicious. And somehow I didn't come very close to my carbs for the day, so I'll take it! (Although I'm almost certain this is where I blew it on the fat... crust!) Anyway, could have been better, could have been much worse. Next Saturday will be better.

Today, 2/24/13 I'm flying back to CO. Flying really screws me up. I refuse to spend $10 on a banana at the airport, and I refuse to pay $50 to check a bag, so I have to get strategic about packing. I only brought a tiny "personal" bag this flight. Has anyone ever flown Spirit? You know how they nickle and dime you.... So my plan is to cook some chicken and veggies and put them in a ziploc or something. I can shove them into my bag and eat when I'm hungry. Which, knowing me, will be as soon as I get on the plane! Planned nutrition for today should be fine though, since I won't be socializing really I won't have many opportunities to go off the plan.

Happy Sunday!

[RyouBakua]

have a good flight



i usually chat with the stewardesses until they give me food

(not that i should be eating airline food )