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  1. #31
    Squat or remove thy self caerus13's Avatar
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    When I was 12 I had my first sexual experience. At the time, I lived in a little suburb outside of Cleveland and anyway, the girl next door and I were really good friends. Our parents were both gone for the day and she was over playing Transformers with me. So anyway, we kinda got.. Bored I guess? And we started playing truth or dare, which turned into 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine". So anyway there I Was, 12 years old, heart pounding, blood rushing in my ears, and the chick (who was a year older than me actually) takes off her panties and hikes her little skirt up. So What did I do, you ask? I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.
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  2. #32
    Banned 3lixer's Avatar
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    46 day road trip
    Two Gay Male Porn Stars front seats
    Two Gay Male Porn Stars middle seats
    Me & Dog back seats
    Me put peanut butter on anus

    Dat poker face when male pron star checks rearview mirror cuz of licking in my angus sound.
    I yiped and hit the windshield.
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  3. #33
    CEO - Vandelay Industries viennafat's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by honalulu1983 View Post
    How did you phuck your gf without making noise brotha.
    Architect, Marine Biologist, Importer-Exporter, Latex Manufacturing.
    BTK (Bleed Time Krew) soldier
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  4. #34
    no tears.. only gains now bobbobson's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AreolaBorealis View Post
    I'm in bed sleeping next to my ex after a night of banging
    She wakes up before me
    She decides she wants to wake me up with a BJ
    She pulls down my pants and starts sucking me off
    I'm still fast asleep
    I accidentally start pissing in her mouth
    She starts to scream
    I wake up not knowing wtf is going on
    I notice my junk is out and the bed is wet
    She's screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth
    I console her and tell her it's ok she can piss in my mouth if it will make her feel better
    She declines
    I break up with her 2 days later because I just couldn't look at her the same way anymore
    "Do the thing, and you shall have the power; but they who do not the thing have not the power" - RW Emerson

    *Elliott Hulse crew*
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  5. #35
    Registered User Tingram7's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    At a party senior year summer, gf gives me head, her BFF licking my butt. Lmao. Success
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  6. #36
    Banned GynosaurusRex's Avatar
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    12 hour road trip
    Wife and i in front seats
    Son and daughter in middlle seats
    Fgt son and his whale gf in back seats
    Me rubbing my mushroom tip

    Dat poker face when I lock eyes with him and cum buckets in my hand before I show him my mess.

    I came like a father driving his family to the amusement park on a Saturday morning.
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  7. #37
    The Boxing Coach Stabby18's Avatar
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    i bet your dad joined you afterwords to slob on your dick lmao
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  8. #38
    Mirin' Gift3d's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AreolaBorealis View Post
    I'm in bed sleeping next to my ex after a night of banging
    She wakes up before me
    She decides she wants to wake me up with a BJ
    She pulls down my pants and starts sucking me off
    I'm still fast asleep
    I accidentally start pissing in her mouth
    She starts to scream
    I wake up not knowing wtf is going on
    I notice my junk is out and the bed is wet
    She's screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth
    I console her and tell her it's ok she can piss in my mouth if it will make her feel better
    She declines
    I break up with her 2 days later because I just couldn't look at her the same way anymore

    not sure if srs
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  9. #39
    Calling Out Misc Bullsh*t eLjay28's Avatar
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    Nothing really crazy.

    Cliffs:
    visiting gf's house her little cousin is sitting like 3 feet across the room painting.
    My biish goes down on me since she's horny as fuk
    Starts making slobbering noises the kid turns around and she pops up
    He asks what the noises are she says she had something in her throat
    He turns around, I insert teh penis same thing happens after she makes noises.
    He comes and sits down on the bed (we were in covers) then he gets up
    She goes down again and then swallows.

    Then the typical sex in bathroom while moms home,sex in car at a parties, getting a BJ on the patio at the party while the blinds were open and everyones walking inside and outside where they can see. Makes me realize i have to spice things up now.
    How does the root of all evil make us all smile, make us feel as we're more alive living life. Good liquor, good fortune, and good wealth. Whatever happened to good mornings and good health? Or good books and knowledge of oneself. Used to want to be rich forever. If you ask me now I just wanna be free forever.

    Lift Heavy in memory of ssj4veggeto1008 my bruh
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  10. #40
    Registered User vtecaddict's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xbshooter View Post
    12 hour road trip
    Mom&dad front seats
    Brother&sister middlle seats
    Me&girl back seats
    Me getting head

    Dat poker face when dad checks rearview mirror cuz of mouth popping off my dick sound.

    I came like a walrus in a silent movie


    __________________________________________


    Yours?
    *Talk to my car like it's a person crew*
    *Sniff hard as fuk when girls run past me crew*
    *Wear sunglasses inside the mall so that I can creep without being caught crew*
    *Girls in yoga pants raise my blood pressure crew*
    *Once fapped 5 times in 1 hours due to adderall crew*
    *Leak pre-cum when girls smile at me crew*
    *Stand next to a HBB at the gym before squats to raise my free test crew*
    *Secretly put liquid nicotine in girl's drinks to get them addicted to me crew*
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  11. #41
    SummerBulkinWinterCuttin. Jizzmo's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xbshooter View Post
    12 hour road trip
    Mom&dad front seats
    Brother&sister middlle seats
    Me&girl back seats
    Me getting head

    Dat poker face when dad checks rearview mirror cuz of mouth popping off my dick sound.

    I came like a walrus in a silent movie


    __________________________________________


    Yours?
    I can confirm, i was walrus.
    skinny as fuk
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  12. #42
    filth is filthy xbshooter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by eLjay28 View Post
    Nothing really crazy.

    Cliffs:
    visiting gf's house her little cousin is sitting like 3 feet across the room painting.
    My biish goes down on me since she's horny as fuk
    Starts making slobbering noises the kid turns around and she pops up
    He asks what the noises are she says she had something in her throat
    He turns around, I insert teh penis same thing happens after she makes noises.
    He comes and sits down on the bed (we were in covers) then he gets up
    She goes down again and then swallows.

    Then the typical sex in bathroom while moms home,sex in car at a parties, getting a BJ on the patio at the party while the blinds were open and everyones walking inside and outside where they can see. Makes me realize i have to spice things up now.

    Not sure if I could keep a boner with kid in the room, but still an excellent story!

    Good luck on your spicing things up goals of 2013 bro!
    "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't...you are right" -Henry Ford

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    S T O L E N bERT
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  13. #43
    ⚓ Mustard Tiger ⚓ richard noggin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AreolaBorealis View Post
    I'm in bed sleeping next to my ex after a night of banging
    She wakes up before me
    She decides she wants to wake me up with a BJ
    She pulls down my pants and starts sucking me off
    I'm still fast asleep
    I accidentally start pissing in her mouth
    She starts to scream
    I wake up not knowing wtf is going on
    I notice my junk is out and the bed is wet
    She's screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth
    I console her and tell her it's ok she can piss in my mouth if it will make her feel better
    She declines
    I break up with her 2 days later because I just couldn't look at her the same way anymore
    Holy phuck hahaha the phuck did I just read
    I havent had this much fun since I slammed my dick in the car door


    [x] reKt
    [ ] not reKt
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  14. #44
    Banned chlamydibrah's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by GynosaurusRex View Post
    12 hour road trip
    Wife and i in front seats
    Son and daughter in middlle seats
    Fgt son and his whale gf in back seats
    Me rubbing my mushroom tip

    Dat poker face when I lock eyes with him and cum buckets in my hand before I show him my mess.

    I came like a father driving his family to the amusement park on a Saturday morning.

    post of the year.

    You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later.
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  15. #45
    Mirin' Gift3d's Avatar
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    i dont get bjs i think my shiit looks weird or somethin
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  16. #46
    Banned FerreroRocher's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by xbshooter View Post
    12 hour road trip
    Mom&dad front seats
    Brother&sister middlle seats
    Me&girl back seats
    Me getting head

    Dat poker face when dad checks rearview mirror cuz of mouth popping off my dick sound.

    I came like a walrus in a silent movie


    __________________________________________


    Yours?
    u wot m8??
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  17. #47
    Registered User tommyjesus's Avatar
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    I came like a walrus in a silent movie
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  18. #48
    misc till i'm red or dead AreolaBorealis's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by tommyjesus View Post
    I came like a walrus in a silent movie
    like this brah

    I am a mod fearing law abiding miscer
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  19. #49
    Registered User swingracex's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AreolaBorealis View Post
    I'm in bed sleeping next to my ex after a night of banging
    She wakes up before me
    She decides she wants to wake me up with a BJ
    She pulls down my pants and starts sucking me off
    I'm still fast asleep
    I accidentally start pissing in her mouth
    She starts to scream
    I wake up not knowing wtf is going on
    I notice my junk is out and the bed is wet
    She's screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth
    I console her and tell her it's ok she can piss in my mouth if it will make her feel better
    She declines
    I break up with her 2 days later because I just couldn't look at her the same way anymore
    fuarkin lol...repped...stopping thread right here lol
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  20. #50
    Registered User mozzer6's Avatar
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  21. #51
    Registered User greg_84's Avatar
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    Random bar sloot in uni.. 2/10, hadn't got laid in a long time
    Pick her up at bar after her friends were WKing trying to CB
    Get a ride home from her friend in the trunk of a ford escape or something
    making out she starts giving me a BJ in the trunk, her friends see my friends (they don't know who they are) and pick them up
    They get in the back seat and see me getting head start chanting my name
    Slip her the finger she tells me she's on the rag, blood on my finger

    That's it, tried to get in her apartment but shut down



    A guy who was in a band at a bar I used to work with had a pretty good story:

    He was gay, met a dude at bar
    Both there parents home so nowhere to bang
    Decided to do it in his moms minivan
    Did not prepare their anuses
    **** everywhere, ruined the interior of the van
    Had to pay something stupid to have the interior cleaned/sanitized, shamed by mom and dad
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  22. #52
    Registered User LifeAt30000feet's Avatar
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    12 hour road trip
    Mom&dad front seats
    Brother&sister middlle seats
    Me&girl back seats
    I'm in the seat sleeping next to my ex
    She wakes up before me
    She decides she wants to wake me up with a BJ
    She pulls down my pants and starts sucking me off
    I'm still fast asleep
    I accidentally start pissing in her mouth
    She starts to scream
    I wake up not knowing wtf is going on
    I notice my junk is out and the car seat is wet
    She's screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth
    I console her and tell her it's ok she can piss in my mouth if it will make her feel better
    She declines
    I break up with her 2 days later because I just couldn't look at her the same way anymore

    Dat poker face when dad checks rearview mirror cuz of her screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth
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  23. #53
    Banned GynosaurusRex's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by LifeAt30000feet View Post
    12 hour road trip
    Mom&dad front seats
    Brother&sister middlle seats
    Me&girl back seats
    I'm in the seat sleeping next to my ex
    She wakes up before me
    She decides she wants to wake me up with a BJ
    She pulls down my pants and starts sucking me off
    I'm still fast asleep
    I accidentally start pissing in her mouth
    She starts to scream
    I wake up not knowing wtf is going on
    I notice my junk is out and the car seat is wet
    She's screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth
    I console her and tell her it's ok she can piss in my mouth if it will make her feel better
    She declines
    I break up with her 2 days later because I just couldn't look at her the same way anymore

    Dat poker face when dad checks rearview mirror cuz of her screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth

    Lol mirin dat remix
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  24. #54
    Nukem lightsarefallin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by AreolaBorealis View Post
    I'm in bed sleeping next to my ex after a night of banging
    She wakes up before me
    She decides she wants to wake me up with a BJ
    She pulls down my pants and starts sucking me off
    I'm still fast asleep
    I accidentally start pissing in her mouth
    She starts to scream
    I wake up not knowing wtf is going on
    I notice my junk is out and the bed is wet
    She's screaming at me while spitting out my piss from her mouth
    I console her and tell her it's ok she can piss in my mouth if it will make her feel better
    She declines
    I break up with her 2 days later because I just couldn't look at her the same way anymore
    holy schit i lold so hard
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  25. #55
    Don't Neg Me Bro ClevelandBaller's Avatar
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  26. #56
    Registered Offender cocobenz's Avatar
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    12 hour road trip
    Me&girl front seats
    Dad&mom front seats
    Brother&sister in the trunk
    Me getting head

    Dat poker face when dad checks to his left cuz of mouth popping off my dick sound.

    I came like a walrus in a silent movie
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  27. #57
    Registered User SquallFF8's Avatar
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    12 hour road trip
    Mom&dad front seats
    Brother&sister middlle seats
    Me&girl back seats
    Me getting head

    Dat poker face when dad checks rearview mirror cuz of mouth popping off my dick sound.

    I came like a walrus in a silent movie
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  28. #58
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    12 hour road trip
    walrus
    I came
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  29. #59
    Registered User CheyKongo's Avatar
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    12 hour road trip
    Mom&sister front seats
    Brother&girl middlle seats
    Me&dad back seats
    Me getting head

    Dat poker face when sister checks rearview mirror cuz of mouth popping off my dick sound.

    I came like a walrus in a silent movie
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  30. #60
    Registered User SMASHgym's Avatar
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    got a bj while driving on a busy city road lol

    have sexored at the beach in the water and it was packed lol, definitely came like a walrus in a silent movie while trying to maintain a poker face OP, i know dat feel
    Currently cutting to acquire an aesthetic avi in order to be the recipient of a sexually suggestive PM from SexualDeviant.

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    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=154118501&pagenumber=

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