gimme your recipe for da perfect man....

[UnaChispita]

That's no fun. Everyone knows a perfect relationship consists of her doing all the housework and cooking in lingerie.

Don't forget the 5 inch heels. Can't clean in lingerie unless you're wearing heels.

[yogadancefit123]

It depends on the type and colour of the lingerie and how stripperish it is.

lol k good

Don't forget the 5 inch heels. Can't clean in lingerie unless you're wearing heels.

and really good wives don't own flats

[BrotherWolf]

if I don't know how to cook will a man still take care of me if I clean in lingerie instead?

I think it's perfectly acceptable just don't expect anything hot .. salads , sandwiches etc..

[ALPHR]

Um ME

[aristomeow]

Don't forget the 5 inch heels. Can't clean in lingerie unless you're wearing heels.

and impeccable makeup.

My husband works as a mechanic. He has early 5am starts. Every day I awake at 4 am. I go to the bathroom.. but not the ensuite, because I would NEVER wake up my poor handsome Walter from his much deserved slumber. No, I go to the outhouse, because I need to poop, and Walter must never find out I poop.

After pooping, I tip-toe into my daughter's bedroom (I usually wake her but who gives a fk, girls don't need sleep they never do anything). I apply my makeup impeccably. I epilate every hair on my body. I apply baby oil so that my skin is supple.

I then prepare Walter's breakfast, while having my black coffee (good wives don't eat breakfast, I have a figure to maintain!). Perfectly poached eggs, Atlantic salmon, streaked bacon, with sourdough toast that I baked the night before.

I awake Walter by massaging his feet and kissing his head lovingly. I tell him breakfast is ready. While he eats, I iron his underwear and socks for the day. He then goes to work and I clean-and-exercise at the same time, wearing 5 inch stilettos, my favourite sundress, and listening to Snoop Dogg so I never forget how to pop my booty, in the off chance that Walter runs back in because he has forgotten something. He must never see me in a state of unsexiness.

We have been married for 30 years. I believe it is because I am such a wonderful wife.

[Wtuttle]

I think it's perfectly acceptable just don't expect anything hot .. salads , sandwiches etc..

Whatever, we've all seen your meat

[UnaChispita]

and impeccable makeup.

Dear,

Don't forget the well-manicured, polished 2-inch finger nails. Also, you must be well-versed in the ways of manners and gentility.

...and be well-read...

...but not too well-read...


...because you, of course, are only a woman, and we must always be sure that the man knows, he's ...well...the man...

[yogadancefit123]

I think it's perfectly acceptable just don't expect anything hot .. salads , sandwiches etc..

that's what I'm used to anyway

[BrotherWolf]

Whatever, we've all seen your meat

Do you know something I don't ??? what are you talking about ?

[Goshemo]

Hey, I used to visit Kingsville all the time (King Ranch). Quantum theories and philosophy...was just talking about that today with some friends. I think the Big Bing is the single best evidence for the existence of God thanks to the Law of Thermodynamics. Have u heard of the "Kalam argument"? The basic premise of all of these is that something caused the Universe to begin to exist. This First Cause must be God. It is also applied by the Spiritist doctrine as the main argument for the existence of God.

Ha. King Ranch and College are the only good things in this town.
Yeah heard about that. The force would have been so massive to create the Big Bang and such. Funny last night a friend and I were arguing God and time.

[BrotherWolf]

that's what I'm used to anyway

maybe if you go topless a fish fillet or some hot soup ?

[aristomeow]

Dear,

Don't forget the well-manicured, polished 2-inch finger nails. Also, you must be well-versed in the ways of manners and gentility.

...and be well-read...

...but not too well-read...


...because you, of course, are only a woman, and we must always be sure that the man knows, he's ...well...the man...

I mentioned before that the work Secret Santa got me an apron, a tea towel and an oven mitt. He (I know who it is, it's some dude I never speak to) wrote "You are what you do" on the box.

I will never understand!

[UnaChispita]

I mentioned before that the work Secret Santa got me an apron, a tea towel and an oven mitt. He (I know who it is, it's some dude I never speak to) wrote "You are what you do" on the box.

I will never understand!

Wait.

R U Serious??

[yogadancefit123]

maybe if you go topless a fish fillet or some hot soup ?

jeez hard knock life here getting porridge and fish.. how abut I'll wear my bday suit if I get sugary cereal

[aristomeow]

Wait.

R U Serious??

Yeah girl lol we had a $10 limit. I got the biggest box and was SO excited. Unwrap it up to see it's one of the boxes we get the stationary delivered in... okay so my excitement is going down a little at this point. See that there's a label saying "You are what you do"... now I'm confused... Apron, tea towel, oven mitt, and a g*d damn bottle of windex.

I was like U WOT?!?!?. Kept trying to detective who it was.. went on holidays for Xmas and my coworker got the guy to confess.. He probably is just clueless.. but still. U wot.

[BrotherWolf]

jeez hard knock life here getting porridge and fish.. how abut I'll wear my bday suit if I get sugary cereal

that's cold, no need to take off your clothes for cereal

porridge and fish you make it sound so bad .. I was thinking of something more sophisticated ..like a grilled snapper fillet with mango salsa and a smokey corn chowder (no bacon)

[aristomeow]

O.M.G. Not clueless. "You are what you do?"

Not clueless.

That pisses me off.

Here's an idea. For his b-day, take some dog crap and put it in a box.

On the outside write to him:

"You are what you are."


Payback.


Edit: But don't sign your name of course!

Ahh I really can't tell Una, he hasn't lived in Australia long. He said to one of my coworkers "You have a magnificent body, I would like to take you to a park and photograph it".

Either way, I will get my revenge... soon.jpeg

[eleanorjane]

Yeah girl lol we had a $10 limit. I got the biggest box and was SO excited. Unwrap it up to see it's one of the boxes we get the stationary delivered in... okay so my excitement is going down a little at this point. See that there's a label saying "You are what you do"... now I'm confused... Apron, tea towel, oven mitt, and a g*d damn bottle of windex.

I was like U WOT?!?!?. Kept trying to detective who it was.. went on holidays for Xmas and my coworker got the guy to confess.. He probably is just clueless.. but still. U wot.

Wait, stuff like this actually happens? I know that the dollar store is a staple for secret santa gifts but, wtf? Is he old or backward or from a weird country or something?

[yogadancefit123]

that's cold, no need to take off your clothes for cereal

porridge and fish you make it sound so bad .. I was thinking of something more sophisticated ..like a grilled snapper fillet with mango salsa and a smokey corn chowder (no bacon)

haha k I've never had snapper and mango salsa sounds good

[aristomeow]

Wait, stuff like this actually happens? I know that the dollar store is a staple for secret santa gifts but, wtf? Is he old or backward or from a weird country or something?

Middle aged Chinese, idk how long he's been here but a very strong accent, clients usually can't understand him talking..

The Windex is actually a Chinese-dollar-store version lololol. I didn't even get the real deal!!! I leave it in plain view so he knows I'm plotting my evil vengeance.

[dsm246]

I mentioned before that the work Secret Santa got me an apron, a tea towel and an oven mitt. He (I know who it is, it's some dude I never speak to) wrote "You are what you do" on the box.

I will never understand!

I'm stunned. If someone did something like this where I work it would result in an HR case and there is a good chance they'd be terminated. Not joking it would be a serious BFD.

[eleanorjane]

Middle aged Chinese, idk how long he's been here but a very strong accent, clients usually can't understand him talking..

The Windex is actually a Chinese-dollar-store version lololol. I didn't even get the real deal!!! I leave it in plain view so he knows I'm plotting my evil vengeance.

Ah, I get it now, yeah China is a bit behind in it's gender roles to say the least. He probably thought it was totally fine because that's the sort of thing that happens here all the time to women that aren't on the road to marriage before they leave university. It blows my mind. My colleges tell me not to worry, it might be okay being western, but I should probably get on and have a baby, because, you know, I'm so old already. No, they are actually genuinely concerned for me and what I am doing with my life.

Also it's totally fine to grab parts anyone that's not Chinese and tell them they're fat and hairy, which is disconcerting to say the least...

[aristomeow]

Ah, I get it now, yeah China is a bit behind in it's gender roles to say the least. He probably thought it was totally fine because that's the sort of thing that happens here all the time to women that aren't on the road to marriage before they leave university. It blows my mind. My colleges tell me not to worry, it might be okay being western, but I should probably get on and have a baby, because, you know, I'm so old already. No, they are actually genuinely concerned for me and what I am doing with my life.

Also it's totally fine to grab parts anyone that's not Chinese and tell them they're fat and hairy, which is disconcerting to say the least...

ohh just noticed you're in HK.. yeah I've had Chinese friends and honestly I'm sure my uncles (Arab immigrants) would probably do some stupid sh*t like that too without knowing it.

And yep.. the fat thing. They're VERY upfront with the fat thing.

[BrotherWolf]

haha k I've never had snapper and mango salsa sounds good

LOL easy peasy

[eleanorjane]

ohh just noticed you're in HK.. yeah I've had Chinese friends and honestly I'm sure my uncles (Arab immigrants) would probably do some stupid sh*t like that too without knowing it.

And yep.. the fat thing. They're VERY upfront with the fat thing.

Without thinking then okay I understand. But a present for someone he doesn't know, that has been thought about in advance? Seems a bit weird.

As for the fat and hairy trash, I find it really insulting. People here are so xenophobic they don't even know they are doing it! It dosnt matter what size, you just have to be not Chinese! It's tiring to get insulted in the hometown for being too thin then insulted at here for being to big. And don't get me started on the size of the muff I see in the changing rooms!

[aristomeow]

Without thinking then okay I understand. But a present for someone he doesn't know, that has been thought about in advance? Seems a bit weird.

As for the fat and hairy trash, I find it really insulting. People here are so xenophobic they don't even know they are doing it! It dosnt matter what size, you just have to be not Chinese! It's tiring to get insulted in the hometown for being too thin then insulted at here for being to big. And don't get me started on the size of the muff I see in the changing rooms!

I know, but weird is as weird does..

The muff. Oh god. I've seen it. The pools. The gym.. For the love of jeebus above.

[eleanorjane]

I know, but weird is as weird does..

The muff. Oh god. I've seen it. The pools. The gym.. For the love of jeebus above.

haha, it's just that I can't un-see it! Girls a row with and everything

One time when we first moved here my husband and I where walking about. He say's to me 'loads of Chinese women look like they have big bulging fannies' (lots of people wear leggings here) I had to tell him that Chinese fanny is not different, just a lot of them have giant unkempt bush.

Yeah, he kinda made that face too.

[aristomeow]

haha, it's just that I can't un-see it! Girls a row with and everything

One time when we first moved here my husband and I where walking about. He say's to me 'loads of Chinese women look like they have big bulging fannies' (lots of people wear leggings here) I had to tell him that Chinese fanny is not different, just a lot of them have giant unkempt bush.

Yeah, he kinda made that face too.

OHMYGODYOUCANTELLWHENTHEYWEARLEGGINGS?

..ejioeu495n7390mk4944ljd90eu0e

[eleanorjane]

OHMYGODYOUCANTELLWHENTHEYWEARLEGGINGS?

..ejioeu495n7390mk4944ljd90eu0e

Sometimes, mostly on the mums & middle aged, and now you can't un see it :0

Anyway, it's lunch time here. laterzzzz...

[chinwe]

Build-a-man workshop, awesome!!

For me perfection is:

-intelligence
-emotional maturity
-belief in a higher power
-communication skills (Texting to death doesn't count. I prefer use of the voice feature every now and again.)
-understanding that working out and solid nutrition is not solely for aesthetics
-ability to fix things