how has getting in shape effected your social life

[dashing5]

When I lost 100lbs I got a lot more attention from girls but I'm not done yet, I can't wait until I get super lean I wonder how they'll act then. How has the body you've worked so hard for effected u

[minusfour496]

I used to be the kid that when I messaged a girl on ********, next thing is I'd get deleted, ever since I started working out, my relationships with girls have been A **** LOAD better, I mean in my science class 2 of the hottest girls in my year sit next to me by choice, I am fooking amazed

[dashing5]

I used to be the kid that when I messaged a girl on ********, next thing is I'd get deleted, ever since I started working out, my relationships with girls have been A **** LOAD better, I mean in my science class 2 of the hottest girls in my year sit next to me by choice, I am fooking amazed

That's awesome bro

[AutumnOwl]

Remember that looking good is a way to make yourself feel more confident. Conversation is the key. If they already like sitting near you and looking at you, just say hello and see what results you get. Though, I will say it is nice to walk in a room and be looked at. I used to weigh 240
@Dashing5 Congrats on the weight loss. That's kick ass!

[Whyyousoskinny]

Just more confidence in myself
Other than that ~ sloots gon' sloot

[brbacquiring]

I became obsessed with lifting and "eating right" and so basically didn't socialise at all until I was 24/25 and by then it's too late to learn how to act normally and stuff. It also made me obsessed with appearances and aesthetics, which matter very little to most people, so I never got a decent job or focussed on interpersonal skills.

[RigorMortis]

My social life has drastically increased for the better, what i mean is im not known as the "fat kid" im known as the "buff/muscular kid." Before i was 200 lbs and damn i was big when i first started working out, my head was small and my body was huge!!!! I had like a monkey's head and it was on a wildebeest's body i looked really weird and also i would wear really baggy clothing so i would look bigger than i really was. I got no attention from the women, i would usually get shut down really hard and my friends who were "ripped" at the time usually would get those attractive females. But now i lost over 35 lbs and my arm/chest/abs are really starting to show. Now kids my age would always ask me for advice on working out and nutrition and also the females who shut me down back in the day, they would always ask me to hang and i would always tell them off because they are stuck up. I still have a long way to go before im completely done my transformation so keep up the good work boys. (y)

[dashing5]

Remember that looking good is a way to make yourself feel more confident. Conversation is the key. If they already like sitting near you and looking at you, just say hello and see what results you get. Though, I will say it is nice to walk in a room and be looked at. I used to weigh 240
@Dashing5 Congrats on the weight loss. That's kick ass!

Thanks man, I still got some work to do. I'm good with a shirt on but shirt off is horrible, makes me feel like a slob. What do u weigh now?

[Igmann]

I used to be the kid that when I messaged a girl on ********, next thing is I'd get deleted, ever since I started working out, my relationships with girls have been A **** LOAD better, I mean in my science class 2 of the hottest girls in my year sit next to me by choice, I am fooking amazed

Maybe because you look like someone who would have good notes/HW answers

[dashing5]

I became obsessed with lifting and "eating right" and so basically didn't socialise at all until I was 24/25 and by then it's too late to learn how to act normally and stuff. It also made me obsessed with appearances and aesthetics, which matter very little to most people, so I never got a decent job or focussed on interpersonal skills.

That's what's happening to me, I went to an all boy hs so I didn't have much experience with girls although I did get laid but once I focused on weight loss and muscle gain I cut off everyone. No one understood how much I wanted it. My friends pushed me away because they said I was always in the gym. They didn't know how it felt to be picked on because of weight. At 24 I don't think its too late for u, I deffinately should try and socialize more, I figured girls would just be drawn to me once I have muscles which is partially true, girls come up to me and tell me I have muscles and it feels real good, no better feeling

[Djaye]

For me, the biggest difference was losing some friends. Some people don't understand my goals and when I tell them "I can't drink tonight" or "I can't eat there tonight" they take offense by it.

[dashing5]

For me, the biggest difference was losing some friends. Some people don't understand my goals and when I tell them "I can't drink tonight" or "I can't eat there tonight" they take offense by it.

Outsiders never understand. Do you not drink at all? I used to drink but I stopped once I got serious about bodybuilding and people just don't get it

[AutumnOwl]

Thanks man, I still got some work to do. I'm good with a shirt on but shirt off is horrible, makes me feel like a slob. What do u weigh now?

The lowest I ever got was around 165. I am still working towards an optimal weight for me that makes me look healthy and fit, so right now I've bulked myself to 185. I last weighed 240 in 2008. I took it off gradually by studying health and wellness and have kept it off for many years. I just changed my life style. I don't count calories and have an eating regiment that keeps me between 175 and 185 though out the year.

With regard to your shirt off. I know the feeling. Bearing this in mind, the average person doesn't think about the fact that you have your shirt off, so don't worry about getting caught up in your perception of what the world thinks. Always be sure to be healthy for the reasons that make you happiest and healthiest and you're sure to succeed.

Most people aren't built to look like demi-gods and there is no reason to be one. Look at my profile pic? I am hairy as hell. It doesn't stop me from swimming though.

[brbacquiring]

That's what's happening to me, I went to an all boy hs so I didn't have much experience with girls although I did get laid but once I focused on weight loss and muscle gain I cut off everyone. No one understood how much I wanted it. My friends pushed me away because they said I was always in the gym. They didn't know how it felt to be picked on because of weight. At 24 I don't think its too late for u, I deffinately should try and socialize more, I figured girls would just be drawn to me once I have muscles which is partially true, girls come up to me and tell me I have muscles and it feels real good, no better feeling

I'm 26, but yea I could improve somewhat and I am. Since I started drinking and stuff, but fundamentally I'll never be social or sociable, and always have a child's understanding of how to interact with people. That means I'm unlikely to ever get a good job and so forth.

Also obv it was all for nothing because unless I'm posing under perfect lighting I look like utter ****, "do you even lift" etc.

For me, the biggest difference was losing some friends. Some people don't understand my goals and when I tell them "I can't drink tonight" or "I can't eat there tonight" they take offence by it.

Are you sure that benefits you or are you just being needlessly restrictive @ yourself?

[AutumnOwl]

[QUOTE=brbacquiring;1001649643]I'm 26, but yea I could improve somewhat and I am. Since I started drinking and stuff, but fundamentally I'll never be social or sociable, and always have a child's understanding of how to interact with people. That means I'm unlikely to ever get a good job and so forth.

Also obv it was all for nothing because unless I'm posing under perfect lighting I look like utter ****, "do you even lift" etc.


You can always change a habit. Having a child's understanding of how to communicate can be likened to learning to dance. Some have a natural ability, but most have to learn how to do it. Any skill, especially communication is something that needs to be practiced. Practicing communication is perfect in the places where you are most comfortable, for example, the gym. In order to be successful, you have to do what successful people. A good start would be to surround yourself with people that have the skills you want.

I wanted to lift heavy, so I surrounded myself with people that could bench over 250. I started at 90 lbs, 12 weeks ago, and just yesterday hit my 1 rep max at 215. Was it simple? Not at all. Were there pit falls? Of course! But practice made perfect and I ended up surpassing my goal of benching 200 lbs.

I have a column I wrote on my blog titled "Vision", which could give you a different perspective. If you're interested in reading it, just use the wordpress address from my signature.

[brbacquiring]

You can always change a habit. Having a child's understanding of how to communicate can be likened to learning to dance. Some have a natural ability, but most have to learn how to do it. Any skill, especially communication is something that needs to be practised.

I agree in general, however there's no way I will ever be brought up to standard and be able to act appropriately for my age, just because of how long it takes. Most people in their mid 20's have 10 to 15 years of legit adult-like socialising and practice under their belts, and it all happens naturally and subconsciously as they grow up through their teens and so on. So it's natural by the time they go to college or whatever.

It's fair to say that learning of pretty much anything gets slower as you get older AND the kind of life and "opportunities" available to a teenager are simply not available to an adult. Or at least an adult who wants to stay out of prison.
Even if we ignore those factors, if I "grew up" as fast I could over the next ten years then I might just end up having the social abilities of a 21 year old just in time to turn 40, so I'll always be out of step.

It's like learning a language or something - if I spent 15 years learning a foreign language then when I'm 40 I would no way have the ability of a 15 year old native speaker of that language, let alone the familiarity with it that someone my age would.



Time, brah. Time is always a ****er. Btw strong 12-week gains in your bench. It took me nine years to go from 90lbs to 230 lol

[AutumnOwl]

I agree in general, however there's no way I will ever be brought up to standard and be able to act appropriately for my age, just because of how long it takes. Most people in their mid 20's have 10 to 15 years of legit adult-like socialising and practice under their belts, and it all happens naturally and subconsciously as they grow up through their teens and so on. So it's natural by the time they go to college or whatever.

It's fair to say that learning of pretty much anything gets slower as you get older AND the kind of life and "opportunities" available to a teenager are simply not available to an adult. Or at least an adult who wants to stay out of prison.
Even if we ignore those factors, if I "grew up" as fast I could over the next ten years then I might just end up having the social abilities of a 21 year old just in time to turn 40, so I'll always be out of step.

It's like learning a language or something - if I spent 15 years learning a foreign language then when I'm 40 I would no way have the ability of a 15 year old native speaker of that language, let alone the familiarity with it that someone my age would.



Time, brah. Time is always a ****er. Btw strong 12-week gains in your bench. It took me nine years to go from 90lbs to 230 lol

It's all a matter of perception. Your points are all very valid. But let me give you an example. I work as an Admissions Officer (ie Enroll students in college). I help people that are in their mid to late 30's and early 40's, who are balancing family life and full schedules, somehow find the courage to get back in school, finish their degree or maybe even advance what they already have. Support is key! They wouldn't be able to do this without being in a culture of people at the school, with family and/or friends to help them succeed. They don't see the end, most days, and often want to give up. The point is, it's all about mind over matter. How badly do you want to communicate? You only think you can't, but I know and everyone in this thread knows you can! Try it and fail! Then do it again. Only then are you gonna learn.

[AutumnOwl]

and thanks for the support on my bench! I was amped to say the least!

[brbacquiring]

It's all a matter of perception. Your points are all very valid. But let me give you an example. I work as an Admissions Officer (ie Enroll students in college). I help people that are in their mid to late 30's and early 40's, who are balancing family life and full schedules, somehow find the courage to get back in school, finish their degree or maybe even advance what they already have. Support is key! They wouldn't be able to do this without being in a culture of people at the school, with family and/or friends to help them succeed. They don't see the end, most days, and often want to give up. The point is, it's all about mind over matter. How badly do you want to communicate? You only think you can't, but I know and everyone in this thread knows you can! Try it and fail! Then do it again. Only then are you gonna learn.

Yea, we can work with what we've got, but those 40yo's are never going to be 18 again, nomsayin? It's cool that they're doing what they want to regardless of their age and ****, but they won't ever be the same as young'uns - for better or for worse.


The teen years are key for physical and psychological/behavioural/social development and if you miss that because you're a forever alone bastard obsessed with some solitary hobby - whether it's computer games or bodybuilding - you'll never be able to catch up. Say right now I'm basically capable of a 12 year old's social function, for example - even if I improve as fast as a teen (which is impossible because I won't have a teen's lifestyle and a teen's experiences) then by the time I'm pushing 40 maybe I'll be able to behave like a normal 21-year-old or something.

See what I mean? But anyway, what do you recommend? Should I get a job in a bar or something and practice talking to people a lot? If I really gave a **** I'd be drinking and going out tonight (NYE, bitches) but I'm sat here typing on a BBing forum, lolol



First thing I need to do is quit my current job because it isn't helping me, and is just making me tired so I can't do much else. But, then again, without it perhaps I'll get even more reclusive. Who knows, man. I should just inject.

[jb4476]

When I lost 100lbs I got a lot more attention from girls but I'm not done yet, I can't wait until I get super lean I wonder how they'll act then. How has the body you've worked so hard for effected u

Made no difference IMO. Unlike a lot of people, I don't cut out drinking for the sake of training (I've set quite a few PRs while hungover), but I drink very rarely simply because I don't like it very much. I was never particularly partial to alcohol, I'm very alcohol tolerant/heavyweight so I view getting drunk as a chore. I'm also at a (very) difficult college and spend most of my time working, there aren't very many parties here. I don't really view training as a means to becoming more social/confident and had no real expectations going in that would be the end result. I just do it because it's fun. I like squatting 7 days a week, I like training the snatch/clean and jerk. I like pressing. I like getting stronger and setting PRs. It's fun. If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't do it.

[brbacquiring]

Made no difference IMO. Unlike a lot of people, I don't cut out drinking for the sake of training (I've set quite a few PRs while hungover), but I drink very rarely simply because I don't like it very much. I was never particularly partial to alcohol, I'm very alcohol tolerant/heavyweight so I view getting drunk as a chore. I'm also at a (very) difficult college and spend most of my time working, there aren't very many parties here. I don't really view training as a means to becoming more social/confident and had no real expectations going in that would be the end result. I just do it because it's fun. I like squatting 7 days a week, I like training the snatch/clean and jerk. I like pressing. I like getting stronger and setting PRs. It's fun. If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't do it.

Good attitude. That's why most people carry on after a few years, I imagine, when they realise they haven't become arniezyzz.

[RIITIIR]

Mine has gone in the crapper by my own doing... Lot of "nah, I'll pass" situations as a result of the gym taking first priority. I was a lot more liked when viewed as a jolly 350lb'r lol.

Heh, wouldn't have it any other way.

[AutumnOwl]

First off all, great tumblr feed. Lol.

Second, tackle each problem one by one. You don't like your job, focus on getting a new one. You aren't going to want to meet people and talk to them if you are unhappy with yourself and the space you're in mentally and physically.

But start talking to people in the places you are most comfortable. You'll already have something in common, so it will make it simpler. But just like lifting, talking to people, conversing with them, is all a matter of practice.

Yea, we can work with what we've got, but those 40yo's are never going to be 18 again, nomsayin? It's cool that they're doing what they want to regardless of their age and ****, but they won't ever be the same as young'uns - for better or for worse.


The teen years are key for physical and psychological/behavioural/social development and if you miss that because you're a forever alone bastard obsessed with some solitary hobby - whether it's computer games or bodybuilding - you'll never be able to catch up. Say right now I'm basically capable of a 12 year old's social function, for example - even if I improve as fast as a teen (which is impossible because I won't have a teen's lifestyle and a teen's experiences) then by the time I'm pushing 40 maybe I'll be able to behave like a normal 21-year-old or something.

See what I mean? But anyway, what do you recommend? Should I get a job in a bar or something and practice talking to people a lot? If I really gave a **** I'd be drinking and going out tonight (NYE, bitches) but I'm sat here typing on a BBing forum, lolol


First thing I need to do is quit my current job because it isn't helping me, and is just making me tired so I can't do much else. But, then again, without it perhaps I'll get even more reclusive. Who knows, man. I should just inject.

[Cenotaph]

I lost some friends who didnt want me to join the gym and become a 'meathead'. I dont care though, people like that are toxic influences who will hold you back so they dont look bad. Through lifting I met new people as well, I have gained more friends in the gym than I lost, and these are a better quality of friend who actually try and push me to be better. All of my old friends from before I started lifting who still talk to me have joined the gym as well in the last few months.

I'm much happier with myself and my friends these days basically

[dashing5]

Mine has gone in the crapper by my own doing... Lot of "nah, I'll pass" situations as a result of the gym taking first priority. I was a lot more liked when viewed as a jolly 350lb'r lol.

Heh, wouldn't have it any other way.

Lol ah man. Howd u lose so much weight

[dashing5]

I lost some friends who didnt want me to join the gym and become a 'meathead'. I dont care though, people like that are toxic influences who will hold you back so they dont look bad. Through lifting I met new people as well, I have gained more friends in the gym than I lost, and these are a better quality of friend who actually try and push me to be better. All of my old friends from before I started lifting who still talk to me have joined the gym as well in the last few months.

I'm much happier with myself and my friends these days basically

Very true people get jealous n hold u back from unleashing your true potential

[dashing5]

Made no difference IMO. Unlike a lot of people, I don't cut out drinking for the sake of training (I've set quite a few PRs while hungover), but I drink very rarely simply because I don't like it very much. I was never particularly partial to alcohol, I'm very alcohol tolerant/heavyweight so I view getting drunk as a chore. I'm also at a (very) difficult college and spend most of my time working, there aren't very many parties here. I don't really view training as a means to becoming more social/confident and had no real expectations going in that would be the end result. I just do it because it's fun. I like squatting 7 days a week, I like training the snatch/clean and jerk. I like pressing. I like getting stronger and setting PRs. It's fun. If it wasn't fun, I wouldn't do it.

Training is fun, weightlifting especially its a rush I get when I do it. I always wanted to have muscles as a kid, I don't really know why, its just how I envisioned myself. As I got older I began to realize that the way my body looked played a huge role in how I functioned. I remember being picked last on teams my whole life because I was fat and slow. As soon as I turned 18 I got my gym membership and I haven't looked back, sometimes working out feels like a chor, especially when progress is slowed, I do it for me but also so I will get the girls just like I always wanted

[Swaffield]

Lost a few friends, more respect from other people, I regret nothing.

[TLTrooper]

Feels.

I have plentiful feels in my hands.

My social life actually increased, but I keep lifting as a priority (even over work), so everything else declines. I aint even mad though. I don't wanna be 25 years old and still fking fat anymore. Some people may be happy about it now or not care about it, and that's fine and dandy, but I don't want to be in their shoes when they're 50 and their GP tells em they needa start exercising or else they'll develop X disease or sickness. Also I've been getting more stares from vagina creatures. I just needa start talking to em and stop fkign it up before the smash-phase. Actually had/have 3 decent women approach me too. Solid 7/10+'s. When I was fatter, my ex was/is a 3/10 at best.

[Tynk]

My social life has pretty much stayed the same, but I was always a bit of an introvert/loner anyway.
On the other hand, as a person who works for tips, I've been averaging $6-7 more dollars/hour.