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  1. #1
    Banned SultanaK's Avatar
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    Exhibiting signs of BDD

    Have any of you experienced or are experiencing this? I try to avoid socializing and having pictures taken as much as possible because I've not liked a body part of mine since forever and can't let it go. It has been about 12 years now, and the low self esteem is rampant as ever. It's a body part that cannot be changed through exercise, and I'm heavily considering plastic surgery, but I am jealous of people who don't have this eating away at them and can carelessly enjoy their lives. It doesn't matter how many compliments are paid; if that flaw is still there, I will think otherwise (politely thanking others but thinking "if only that were true if X was fixed" or "they're just being nice to you"). The only seeming way of improving the self esteem is by getting rid of that flaw. If you have ever gone through something similar and have overcome it, how did you do it? Here is a definition of BDD:

    Body dysmorphic disorder is a type of chronic mental illness in which you can't stop thinking about a flaw with your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful that you don't want to be seen by anyone. Body dysmorphic disorder has sometimes been called "imagined ugliness."

    When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day. You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" your perceived flaws, but never will be satisfied. Body dysmorphic disorder is also known as dysmorphophobia, the fear of having a deformity.

    Treatment of body dysmorphic disorder may include medication and cognitive behavioral therapy.
    Last edited by SultanaK; 12-22-2012 at 05:22 PM.
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  2. #2
    Part-Time Mord-Sith Artistry's Avatar
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    I've always had it. My nose and my stomach are the main offenders, but I can find plenty of things I dislike. The only thing that helps is focusing on things I do like (assuming I'm not having a thoroughly awful day and can't find any).

    Honestly, I'm not much help here, simply because I sure as hell can't get over my own issues, but I would say that you need to make sure you're very, very careful as far as considering surgery. Ask yourself if the procedure would actually make you happy, or if it would merely allow you to move onto something else you dislike. If I got a nose job right now, the first thing I would think upon waking up would be "Great, now I would be perfect if it weren't for my damn stomach..." and I'd be willing to bet I would move onto yet another problem if I fixed that too. Surgery can be a great thing, but it's not going to work if the problem is in your head rather than on your body.
    So, it turns out you can't kill a tumor with vodka...

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  3. #3
    Registered User Squatticus's Avatar
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    two people that need to be slapped...
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  4. #4
    Banned SultanaK's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Artistry View Post
    I've always had it. My nose and my stomach are the main offenders, but I can find plenty of things I dislike. The only thing that helps is focusing on things I do like (assuming I'm not having a thoroughly awful day and can't find any).

    Honestly, I'm not much help here, simply because I sure as hell can't get over my own issues, but I would say that you need to make sure you're very, very careful as far as considering surgery. Ask yourself if the procedure would actually make you happy, or if it would merely allow you to move onto something else you dislike. If I got a nose job right now, the first thing I would think upon waking up would be "Great, now I would be perfect if it weren't for my damn stomach..." and I'd be willing to bet I would move onto yet another problem if I fixed that too. Surgery can be a great thing, but it's not going to work if the problem is in your head rather than on your body.
    This. I seem to be having bad days often these days, and the mind goes, "Great. As if it weren't enough things are going horrible, but I can't even go out and get my mind off of them because, well, I'm self conscious. So I'll just sit in front of the mirror and gauge my eyes out looking at that imperfection and wishing it weren't there so I'd have the confidence to go out and get my mind off of things all while thinking about the other chittery happening at the time."

    This thought process is a mind-****ery on its own, but it somehow makes sense, too. Very consciously shying away from socializing and having pictures taken. It's just too much sometimes, and I want to be able to let go and enjoy indulging in those activities for once. They seem to be the crux of society, so it will either have to be me who changes (mentally or physically) or I can continue being a hermit.

    I'd be fine after one change, but I can understand how it can get out of handle. Thankfully, there isn't a lot I wish looked different, but I know it's not the case for some.
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  5. #5
    Training For Chest Hair rdferguson's Avatar
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    I naturally have curly hair, which I hated with a vengeance for the first 20 years of my life. No surgery will fix that, and curly hair that's been straightened stands out as badly as a toupe. I'm 24, and still have all forms of pimples. I'm not particularly tall (although there are plenty of people who are shorter than me) and after 8 years of lifting I still have less muscle mass than a lot of guys who've never even set foot in a gym. One of my eyes invariably squints whenever a photo is taken of me -- not both eyes, just the one. I have a fairly high number of moles on my body, which will need to be cut off if I ever want to get rid of them. I don't consider them to be "beauty spots." I have lumbar lordosis and thoracic kyphosis, and corrective exercise has done everything it can to resolve the issue, which it turns out isn't much. One shoulder sits slightly higher than the other in spite of anything I've done to try and correct this, and (like most people) one row of my rectus abdominus is higher than the other row, which means I'll never have symmetrical abs.

    Would you like to know my secret to having good self esteem? NONE OF THIS STUFF MATTERS. Seriously. I think that one of the reasons why beauty is held with such importance in our culture is because we tie our self-worth in with our beauty, and so any perceived deviations away from what we consider to be beautiful, we treat as evidence that we are personally not worthy of another person's love or acceptance. But really, when we do this we're making mountains out of mollhills, and often they're not even mollhills, since we're the only ones thinking it's a problem. I'm sure there are plenty of people who find my moles charming, for some reason. Everyone seems to like my curly hair. The only people who might look down on me for not being huge and ripped probably belong in the teen misc, and we all know how highly I regard their opinions. It turns out that the people who I would want the love and acceptance of do not factor in any of the physical issues I've been insecure about in the past, so why should I? It turns out that the people who would factor in any of the physical issues I've ever been insecure about all seem to have attitude issues that render their acceptance or rejection of me to be a mute point -- it's okay that I don't live up to their physical standards, because they don't live up to my isn'tawalkingpieceofsh!t standards.

    That's the end of my pep talk, now onto my own history with BDD.

    When I was about 17 and in my first year out of high school, I definitely developed BDD over muscle mass and body composition. This was early in my gym-going days. Now, to put things into perspective, before I ever started training, I looked like someone with anorexia, or a POW victim. Unlike the standards given by the 200lb+ guys on here, where everyone who hasn't had 3 years of solid training looks anorexic to them, I actually looked anorexic, and frequently had kids at school making fun of me and adults being very worried about me. My thighs were narrower than my knees. If I took my shirt off, you could count my ribs. So when I started lifting and gaining some muscle mass, at first I was really proud of it and got a big confidence boost.

    But then....

    It turns out that we have inconsistent, and often warped, minds. We don't know what perfection is, and if we do "know" what it is today, magically it'll be something different tomorrow. After a while, as I grew more muscle mass and progressively looked better, my standards on what I thought I should look like moved further away. When I was 17, I probably looked the best I ever have, before or since then, to the majority of people. But the way I felt about my body, you'd think that after a year of training I'd lost muscle mass instead of developed it. I honestly can't remember how I thought I should have looked at the time, other than that it involved more muscle, more definition, and (for some stupid media-related reason) flat abs. The more muscle I built, and the more defined I became, the further out of reach "perfection" became, and so my body-image, and my linked self-image, plummetted. The better I looked, the worse I felt about my looks, and about myself.

    There were two things that helped correct the mental issue. The first was a mandatory 5 months out of the gym, due to not being able to afford my membership anymore. Just leaving all of dat der aezthetix alone for a while and worrying about other stuff helped to realign my perspective with reality. When I returned to training, I stopped worrying about looking good and instead concerned myself with more important things, like being healthy. For the next couple years, whenever I deliberately went into bulking mode, I'd have to abandon the bulk after only a couple of weeks, because I'd realised that my mind would start clocking over into crazy-person territory, and each time I decided that being happy with myself and being able to focus on stuff that might actually matter was more important than chasing after a goal that I'd be too derranged to appreciate. It took several years of readjusting my standards for how much muscle I should be able to build in a given time frame, and in fact adjusting the reasons behind gaining or losing weight, until I had more realistic expectations of what I could actually do with my body, before I became able to bulk and cut without leaning towards or returning to BDD. That, and learning to like what I see in the mirror instead of looking for problems in the mirror.
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  6. #6
    eat until you poop BrotherWolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Squatticus View Post
    two people that need to be slapped...
    I concur..... double slapped
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  7. #7
    Registered User Botika's Avatar
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    I fixed the flaw I had with plastic surgery and I don't regret it. It didn't turn me into a plastic surgery junkie, it did stop me worrying about it. I went from thinking about it everyday to not thinking about it all all. It was nice to finally be able to walk into a store and buy clothes that fit.
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  8. #8
    Registered User BalhamBeast's Avatar
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    One good thing about getting older is that you tend to fixate less on flaws. I had a horrible body image when I was younger and ran the gauntlet of eating disorders and self-loathing. Whilst I'm not satisfied with how certain parts (mainly below the waist parts) look, I don't worry about it so much. Having slimmer thighs isn't magically going to make me happy. Other aspects of life do that. It's nice to feel comfortable in your own skin but my looks aren't as much of a priority any more.
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  9. #9
    Registered User Squatticus's Avatar
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  10. #10
    Part-Time Mord-Sith Artistry's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Squatticus View Post
    two people that need to be slapped...
    Shush, you.

    Originally Posted by rdferguson View Post
    Would you like to know my secret to having good self esteem? NONE OF THIS STUFF MATTERS. Seriously. I think that one of the reasons why beauty is held with such importance in our culture is because we tie our self-worth in with our beauty, and so any perceived deviations away from what we consider to be beautiful, we treat as evidence that we are personally not worthy of another person's love or acceptance. But really, when we do this we're making mountains out of mollhills, and often they're not even mollhills, since we're the only ones thinking it's a problem.
    Very, very well said. And actually, this is something else that helps (didn't explain well the first time); sometimes when I'm in the midst of being a truly vicious critic of myself, I have a moment of clarity and stop to ask "Who the *&$% actually cares about my nose?" The answer is, inevitably, only me.

    Originally Posted by BrotherWolf View Post
    I concur..... double slapped
    You shush too. =P

    <3

    Originally Posted by Botika View Post
    I fixed the flaw I had with plastic surgery and I don't regret it. It didn't turn me into a plastic surgery junkie, it did stop me worrying about it. I went from thinking about it everyday to not thinking about it all all. It was nice to finally be able to walk into a store and buy clothes that fit.
    That's fantastic. I know it's true for many people as well. One of my extended family members had plastic surgery done because there was about a cup size of difference between her breasts, and that surgery was all she needed for her self-confidence to be improved many times over. It can be a wonderful thing (and honestly, I probably will get a nose job eventually, and I definitely will stop there). I just wanted to stress that BDD is a messy thing and that if the problem is rooted in a deep dislike of who and what you are, fixing one physical flaw may not be enough. It's sad that we live in a world that emphasizes physical appearance so strongly that this is even an issue.
    So, it turns out you can't kill a tumor with vodka...

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  11. #11
    eat until you poop BrotherWolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Artistry View Post
    You shush too. =P

    <3
    You shush or I'll smack you again for begin so silly ..
    to the both of you , those aren't flaws even if you see them that way .


    But I support 100% her choice to correct this "flaw" if it stops her from whining about it all the times (kidding she does not )
    hopefully it won't change her personality
    Last edited by BrotherWolf; 12-23-2012 at 10:35 AM.
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    You are more than your looks.
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  13. #13
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    When you have body dysmorphic disorder, you intensely obsess over your appearance and body image, often for many hours a day. You may seek out numerous cosmetic procedures to try to "fix" your perceived flaws, but never will be satisfied. Body dysmorphic disorder is also known as dysmorphophobia, the fear of having a deformity.
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    personality is more important
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