I have to get over him but can't

[chel1986]

Totally obsessed over this guy I've been seeing for the past mine months. Things aren't going to work out between us because I don't get enough attention from him and always end up saying that I can't handle it anymore. Then I Always go back because I miss him so much. He talks to other girls and that kills me. I know he really cares about me and it's my belief that he doesn't want to be to close to me because he's been Phucked over big time in his previous relationship. Although he never said that because our communication sucks sometimes. He told me he loves me for the first time after the last time I ended it which leads me to believe he doesn't want me to move on. Basically it sucks and just want some guys to tell me some stuff to help me move on or any random thoughts. I like a mans advice it's more real even if more hurtful.

[ivol_us]

Totally obsessed over this guy I've been seeing for the past mine months. Things aren't going to work out between us because I don't get enough attention from him and always end up saying that I can't handle it anymore. Then I Always go back because I miss him so much. He talks to other girls and that kills me. I know he really cares about me and it's my belief that he doesn't want to be to close to me because he's been Phucked over big time in his previous relationship. Although he never said that because our communication sucks sometimes. He told me he loves me for the first time after the last time I ended it which leads me to believe he doesn't want me to move on. Basically it sucks and just want some guys to tell me some stuff to help me move on or any random thoughts. I like a mans advice it's more real even if more hurtful.

Misc pro tip: If you want lots of replies post a hot body pic of yourself.

As for your problem, sounds like you don't have much of a relationship there. You want to be with him because you can't have him. Forget about him.

[akujiki13]

If you want it to work then you need to communicate together what each other's needs and expectations are. If you want to move on then just start dating other people. You sound like you have low self-esteem if you stay with someone who doesn't make you feel good.

[poolshark472]

he's got that magic stick huh

[chel1986]

Misc pro tip: If you want lots of replies post a hot body pic of yourself.

As for your problem, sounds like you don't have much of a relationship there. You want to be with him because you can't have him. Forget about him.

My pic won't show by my question. Why? It's uploaded and on my profile.

[ragingcrayon]

suck his cawk (srs)

[chel1986]

he's got that magic stick huh

lol. Yes

[Boffothe]

if he were interested he would be with you

[chel1986]

if he were interested he would be with you

So hard to believe he doesn't care about me

[HeliBrah]

So hard to believe he doesn't care about me

The sooner you accept this blatantly obvious fact, the sooner you will be able to move on.

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Its a difficult thing to accept, when you like someone so much. We all know women are more emotional. I know you guys all think we can get over guys just like that *clicks fingers* but the reality is actually different most of the time.

If OP was a guy everyone would be rallying round with supportive comments.

[HeliBrah]

If OP was a guy everyone would be rallying round with supportive comments.

Whats there to support? My comment was aimed to "support" her recovery process, which should start sooner rather than later, because she is in a situation where there is no happy ending in sight.

[LoveOvercomes]

Lets be honest, we all get effed over. Gotta get over that crap and move on. I understand underlying context....
but if he's not giving you enough attention, why are you worrying so much? There are other guys who will give you that attention you want.

Also, if you have not talked to him about it, how will he know this? Cant expect him to figure the crap out that you are thinking right?

[aristomeow]

Totally obsessed over this guy I've been seeing for the past mine months. Things aren't going to work out between us because I don't get enough attention from him and always end up saying that I can't handle it anymore. Then I Always go back because I miss him so much. He talks to other girls and that kills me. I know he really cares about me and it's my belief that he doesn't want to be to close to me because he's been Phucked over big time in his previous relationship. Although he never said that because our communication sucks sometimes. He told me he loves me for the first time after the last time I ended it which leads me to believe he doesn't want me to move on. Basically it sucks and just want some guys to tell me some stuff to help me move on or any random thoughts. I like a mans advice it's more real even if more hurtful.

Tell me what you're getting out of this, because I'll tell you what he's getting.

He's having his cake. He's eating it too. He's also having a sundae, a cookie and a milkshake.

A girl to smush on tap. A girl who misses him (dayum, what an ego boost that might be after his last relationship "phucked him over big time). A girl that comes crawling back even though she knows she's one of many. A girl who is so low maintenance that all he's had to do is say "I love you" when she threatens to phck off and she'll just eat out of his hands again.

What are you getting?

[chel1986]

Whats there to support? My comment was aimed to "support" her recovery process, which should start sooner rather than later, because she is in a situation where there is no happy ending in sight.

It's true. Of course I want people to say things that will make me feel better but that's not what I need. I need to face reality and move on but it's just so hard. I felt for so long that if I gave it time things would work out because we really are great together. But I know it's not gonna end up like that now. He refuses to communicate emotionally and I just can't take that anymore. I try to get my mind of it by talking to other guys but I just don't have interest in any of them. Plus I feel that's wrong because I don't want anyone else really liking me when I know I won't be able to have a real connection to them right now. And pathetically I feel like that's a betrayal to him. But why would he say he loves me for the first time after it's over. He really is not emotional and don't think he would just say that to anyone. And I asked him to tell me that we aren't going to be together because it would help me move on and he wouldn't do it. I just wish I understood men better sometimes.

[aristomeow]

It's true. Of course I want people to say things that will make me feel better but that's not what I need. I need to face reality and move on but it's just so hard. I felt for so long that if I gave it time things would work out because we really are great together. But I know it's not gonna end up like that now. He refuses to communicate emotionally and I just can't take that anymore. I try to get my mind of it by talking to other guys but I just don't have interest in any of them. Plus I feel that's wrong because I don't want anyone else really liking me when I know I won't be able to have a real connection to them right now. And pathetically I feel like that's a betrayal to him. But why would he say he loves me for the first time after it's over. He really is not emotional and don't think he would just say that to anyone. And I asked him to tell me that we aren't going to be together because it would help me move on and he wouldn't do it. I just wish I understood men better sometimes.

You'll be surprised what some people will say simply for convenience.

Da fuq... I used this quote in a thread the other day, haha. You stalking me, aristo?

bb u and me r like 1 heartbeat.

[vor93]

you love his cock...no problem with that...but why create such an attention whoring thread?

[chel1986]

Tell me what you're getting out of this, because I'll tell you what he's getting.

He's having his cake. He's eating it too. He's also having a sundae, a cookie and a milkshake.

A girl to smush on tap. A girl who misses him (dayum, what an ego boost that might be after his last relationship "phucked him over big time). A girl that comes crawling back even though she knows she's one of many. A girl who is so low maintenance that all he's had to do is say "I love you" when she threatens to phck off and she'll just eat out of his hands again.

What are you getting?

Thanks

[chel1986]

you love his cock...no problem with that...but why create such an attention whoring thread?

Not appreciated. Sure we have great sex but it's def not just about that. At least not for me.

[Mr Beer]

So hard to believe he doesn't care about me

And guys you don't like have said that about you. Such is life.

Look he probably cares about you...enough to have you as a casual phuck. If that's enough for you fine, if not you should probably end it and cut contact. In fact that's definitely what you should do because you have feelings for him that he doesn't for you.

[jkaing]

If OP was a guy everyone would be rallying round with supportive comments.

LOL I'm pretty sure if OP was a guy directing the thread about a girl would be attempting mega wk beta *******ry an would not like the intervention of the misc

[chel1986]

And guys you don't like have said that about you. Such is life.

Doubtful unless they're delusional. I don't go around telling guys I love them and I'd do anything for them if I don't care about them. This whole thing is really making me lose faith in men. When we met I thought he was different from every other man I've ever met. So sickening right now.

[Kulvich]

It's true. Of course I want people to say things that will make me feel better but that's not what I need. I need to face reality and move on but it's just so hard. I felt for so long that if I gave it time things would work out because we really are great together. But I know it's not gonna end up like that now. He refuses to communicate emotionally and I just can't take that anymore. I try to get my mind of it by talking to other guys but I just don't have interest in any of them. Plus I feel that's wrong because I don't want anyone else really liking me when I know I won't be able to have a real connection to them right now. And pathetically I feel like that's a betrayal to him. But why would he say he loves me for the first time after it's over. He really is not emotional and don't think he would just say that to anyone. And I asked him to tell me that we aren't going to be together because it would help me move on and he wouldn't do it. I just wish I understood men better sometimes.

Hey, this sounds like my situation when I was in college, except I was the guy you're talking about and you're one of the girls. I think I understand this guy and let me explain what's going on from his point of view:

He likes hanging out with you and screwing you sometimes, but he doesn't want to get into a relationship with you due to all of the other girls he's seeing. He's screwing them too, by the way. He also may not be that into you.

The fact that he doesn't communicate his emotions doesn't mean he's refusing to, or that he's holding his emotions back from you. See---You're thinking like a girl here and wondering what's going on in his head from a girl's point of view. The truth is that he probably doesn't have many emotions invested in you to begin with. He said that he loved you because you were about to cut contact with him and he's not ready to drop you yet.

You're into this guy because he's different from most guys you meet. He doesn't take BS, other girls want him, and you find him attractive. Like Aristomeow said, he's having his cake and eating it too, along with the sundae and everything else.

[aristomeow]

Thanks

I know you asked for male advice but not all girls are going to sugarcoat things like this for you.

It sucks but guys like this? They only care about them and their mini-them. All this "I've been phucked over" business? It's just an excuse. Everyone's been phucked over. Everyone. Not everyone then uses people like the way he's using you.. and believe me, he is using you.

You need to show him that you're not a girl he can do that to. You need to show yourself that. There are plenty, plenty of guys out there. Good ones. Who won't string you along.

And guys you don't like have said that about you. Such is life.

Look he probably cares about you...enough to have you as a casual phuck. If that's enough for you fine, if not you should probably end it and cut contact. In fact that's definitely what you should do because you have feelings for him that he doesn't for you.

^listen to everything this guy says. Srs.

[jkaing]

Tell me what you're getting out of this, because I'll tell you what he's getting.

He's having his cake. He's eating it too. He's also having a sundae, a cookie and a milkshake.

A girl to smush on tap. A girl who misses him (dayum, what an ego boost that might be after his last relationship "phucked him over big time). A girl that comes crawling back even though she knows she's one of many. A girl who is so low maintenance that all he's had to do is say "I love you" when she threatens to phck off and she'll just eat out of his hands again.

What are you getting?

This. It's definitely gonna be tough but like you said face reality and move on. Who doesn't have a long lasting relationship but "refuses emotional communication" that would be more like smashing with randoms not an actual relationship. You fall in love with the person you meet and that attachment stays for a long time. the time will come and he will be a chapter long ago. My ex cheated on me and left me a week before our 1 year anni and that was hard enough but got over it eventually when I realized the concept that no one out there is the most perfect one person on the world. It was more amusing of anything because three months later she came crawlin back apologizing and telling me the guy cheated on her since day 1. Just lol'd and hit block. Dat bittersweet feel.

[chel1986]

Hey, this sounds like my situation when I was in college, except I was the guy you're talking about and you're one of the girls. I think I understand this guy and let me explain what's going on from his point of view:

He likes hanging out with you and screwing you sometimes, but he doesn't want to get into a relationship with you due to all of the other girls he's seeing. He's screwing them too, by the way. He also may not be that into you.

The fact that he doesn't communicate his emotions doesn't mean he's refusing to, or that he's holding his emotions back from you. See---You're thinking like a girl here and wondering what's going on in his head from a girl's point of view. The truth is that he probably doesn't have many emotions invested in you to begin with. He said that he loved you because you were about to cut contact with him and he's not ready to drop you yet.

You're into this guy because he's different from most guys you meet. He doesn't take BS, other girls want him, and you find him attractive. Like Aristomeow said, he's having his cake and eating it too, along with the sundae and everything else.

Here's the thing. Advice appreciated. But the I love you thing. When that was said it was during a convo about 2 days after ending it and we were talking about being friends in the future because I can't handle it now. He said " I don't know if I should be saying this but I do love you and want you to be happy" now many peoples thoughts on this is that he just said it to keep me where he wants me, which pretty much worked because 2 days later I wanted to see him. But he said no that's not a good idea. so why say it for that reason if he pretty much agrees we shouldn't see eachother? It literally boggles my mind. Are men that sick that he would want me to think he loves me but he doesn't want to see me just so I'm stuck on him? I can't imagine why he would want to do that.

[YoungNSwolen]

Is it sickening? Maybe. But think about it, you are still thinking about what he's thinking. This **** happens to guys too, whether they have options or not, it isn't that they don't care about you. It's that their attraction isn't enough to care about keeping you around exclusively.

Yeah, he'll drop those words but thats a word that has no definite connotation. He loves you could mean I love having you around, and I love phucking, and your cool, but that doesn't mean love as in that one you think. Hell I have girls like me and I've been hurt not too long ago, and to be honest, I'd like to see them are gf material but you giving it up, pretty much shows me you can't get that interest level back.

[Mr Beer]

Doubtful unless they're delusional. I don't go around telling guys I love them and I'd do anything for them if I don't care about them. This whole thing is really making me lose faith in men. When we met I thought he was different from every other man I've ever met. So sickening right now.

You've never dumped or friendzoned a guy? OK then, but still it's extremely common for you to go "Oh why doesn't person A feel like I do?" while person B is thinking "why don't you feel like this about me?". Life's like that.

Also, delusional, is that like wanting someone to be a partner whose made it obvious they don't feel the same way? Is that an example of being delusional?

[naomi001]

in for replies

and OP you deserve better

[iNerted]

Here's the thing. Advice appreciated. But the I love you thing. When that was said it was during a convo about 2 days after ending it and we were talking about being friends in the future because I can't handle it now. He said " I don't know if I should be saying this but I do love you and want you to be happy" now many peoples thoughts on this is that he just said it to keep me where he wants me, which pretty much worked because 2 days later I wanted to see him. But he said no that's not a good idea. so why say it for that reason if he pretty much agrees we shouldn't see eachother? It literally boggles my mind. Are men that sick that he would want me to think he loves me but he doesn't want to see me just so I'm stuck on him? I can't imagine why he would want to do that.

I have used those exact words also when breaking up with a chick. Why? because I knew she was way more into me than I was to her and I felt bad but still wanted teh sex without feeling guilty.

You're being played.