Anyone here lose over 100 pounds? I'm finding things hard.

[New88]

I lost 122. You think I would feel great but I don't. I'm not trying to boast, but with calorie counting it wasn't that hard it just required patience.

I started at 300 pounds (6'1). When I was young I ate a lot and my parent's didn't stop me, only every now and again saying little hints to stop. In high school I get bigger, i get depression and other illnesses. I miss out a good portion of my last year sick at home, I manage to graduate somehow even though I didn't pick up quite a few skills that would be useful now. I tell myself that I'm not too bad. Eventually I get to the highest size pants in the local stores. For some reason i decide to diet. I go to weight watchers then eventually hit the gym. I have fantasies of being the attractive guy that gets girls and make other guys jealous, I didn't think that I would have bad skin (thought that it was a gastric bypass thing).

I get to 180 pounds and I look like a freak, skin is everywhere. For the last few weeks I have been looking at my life and realizing how different it was to everyone else. I have no real experience with women and i can't relate to my peers, some of whom are married now. I will never know my potential, all i can do is salvage a shred of what i could of have with surgery (that i have to pay out of pocket for but can't afford), at the back of my mind is always the question: why didn't I start earlier? Why didn't anyone force me when I was younger? Why did I have to get sick at that time in my life? why was i so embarrassingly stupid? I look at skinny/muscular people with envy, seemingly they are everywhere now. I get panic attacks everyday. I was made redundant recently. This wasn't the life i was supposed to live. Everything is ruined, I just want to start again. Getting up in the morning is awful, I dream and as I awake I remember how I am and was and I feel like dying. I don't want to do it anymore, the knowledge of everything I could have been is just too much. I just want the pain to stop.

anyone that's been there, please tell me it gets better

[GeraldLieteau]

Your life sounds like a lot of other peoples lives. Im in the process of trying to lose 156 pounds. I think about how I would feel when I lose weight to. But u have to understand that no matter what, your confidence has to be high in order to really get out your funk. I choose to let Jehovah help me by reading out the bible. If that's not your thing then you can also say to yourself that it doesn't matter what other people think. And I have no problem with women because I have confidence. You just have to stop over thinking what others already know. In the end of this system of thinks we all deal with the same things.

[Thrqne]

You need to grow some balls, and start acting like a man if you expect to progress through the rest of your life. If you want to change something in your life, then change it even if it takes years to change. No one is going to help change your life besides yourself, so stop looking at how other people live life and do something for yourself.

My life has not even started yet, and I not sure what to expect once I graduate college. However what I do know is if I sit back feeling sorry myself, life is just going to pass me by with one giving a **** besides myself. You decide on how you want to run your life, no one else.

[visualfreak]

I lost 122. You think I would feel great but I don't. I'm not trying to boast, but with calorie counting it wasn't that hard it just required patience.

I started at 300 pounds (6'1). When I was young I ate a lot and my parent's didn't stop me, only every now and again saying little hints to stop. In high school I get bigger, i get depression and other illnesses. I miss out a good portion of my last year sick at home, I manage to graduate somehow even though I didn't pick up quite a few skills that would be useful now. I tell myself that I'm not too bad. Eventually I get to the highest size pants in the local stores. For some reason i decide to diet. I go to weight watchers then eventually hit the gym. I have fantasies of being the attractive guy that gets girls and make other guys jealous, I didn't think that I would have bad skin (thought that it was a gastric bypass thing).

I get to 180 pounds and I look like a freak, skin is everywhere. For the last few weeks I have been looking at my life and realizing how different it was to everyone else. I have no real experience with women and i can't relate to my peers, some of whom are married now. I will never know my potential, all i can do is salvage a shred of what i could of have with surgery (that i have to pay out of pocket for but can't afford), at the back of my mind is always the question: why didn't I start earlier? Why didn't anyone force me when I was younger? Why did I have to get sick at that time in my life? why was i so embarrassingly stupid? I look at skinny/muscular people with envy, seemingly they are everywhere now. I get panic attacks everyday. I was made redundant recently. This wasn't the life i was supposed to live. Everything is ruined, I just want to start again. Getting up in the morning is awful, I dream and as I awake I remember how I am and was and I feel like dying. I don't want to do it anymore, the knowledge of everything I could have been is just too much. I just want the pain to stop.

anyone that's been there, please tell me it gets better

This seriously sounds like full-blown depression to me. You should see a professional.
That being sad, you should take yourself seriously and stop basing your emotions on comparisons with others or with a (subjectively) bad history - focus on your progress instead. You lost 120 pounds ffs! That's AMAZING for a start. Now get on the right track and do other things in your life better as well. You've already proven to yourself that you can well be dedicated.

[lenny2277]

Believe in yourself bro.ive been obese my entire life with my biggest being at 400lbs.and at 400 i managed to catch a beautiful woman and am now having my 3rd beautiful child. But it didnt come easy,i too sat back and watched all the fit and good looking people wear normal clothes and get model like women.i went through depression most of my life but confidence got me to where im at now. I learned nobody else can do anything about me but me. Now im down to 265.still fat but i feel better about myself than i ever have.

If what yiu want is a woman in your life...go get one.if you think at 400 lbs beautiful women were lining up to be with me your sadly mistaken. I wanted a woman so i went and got one, i wanted to fit in normal clothes and recently for the first time im not shopping in the big and tall section. I wish you luck if you ever want to talk let me know

[DJohnson]

Your skin isn't as bad as you think it is. Also I guarantee you'll look fantastic at 6% bodyfat with a decent muscle base. Lift if you aren't yet. Give it a try, you have nothing to lose by doing it.

Don't put life on halt in the meantime. Dieting is easiest when you're busy. Also you need to practice being able to diet/maintain while living. Get out there, talk to girls and do the things you want even if it terrifies you. Practice makes perfect with all things.

[Prit369]

What do you mean you look like a freak? You mean to say you have loose skin? That would be typical of someone who loses alot of weight and doesn't lift. I would suggest lifting, it will reduce that flabby looking skin alot. You can bulk up if you're at your target weight to get even bigger noob gains.

Be proud of yourself, 122 pounds lost is a great achievement! Some people dream of losing that but lack the motivation to do it.

[Kalbi]

I'm in the same boat as you. I grew up morbidly obese and I used to be a really happy kid up until puberty hit, this is when I realized I was fat and I had no idea why. Everyone around me seemed to literally mentally grow, but I always felt somewhat left behind. It wasn't until recently I understood why, it was because sexual attraction never occurred for/to me (I think I psychologically blocked it out).

I can't give you much advice as I'm still dealing with my own issues. But you should be proud and keep continuing until you reach your goal. As I neared 10% body fat, I started to not hate the world, and started to not hate myself (I never realized I did).

I'm not sure how old you are (judging by your name, I'm assuming you were born in 1988), but it's always better to start now then later. I remember telling myself exactly the same thing you told yourself for the past 2 years. I'm 24 turning 25, and I'm extremely happy that I started losing weight at this age.

Keep you head up bro and know that you're not alone with these feelings/challenges.

[Voxmusculus]

Post some pictures. If you have loose skin, you should try lifting heavy to see if you fill out, and do the bulk/cut thing a few times and see if that helps. That, and patience.

That's not to say all your loose skin will go away, but it's worth a shot, right?

I am terribly sorry about your job, and I'm sure it's not easy this time of the year. But you know, come next year, you can seek out new opportunities and you never know what's out there.

As far as women are concerned, it's pretty funny. You'd be surprised at how many fat, short, ugly guys are with gorgeous women. The reason is confidence, not looks. That's not to say women don't like good looking men. Of course they do. But that's not the only thing. You've already come this far, just start lifting heavy and see if that helps.

I'd create a long term plan: you sound pretty young, so give yourself 3 years. In that time, you should lift heavy, save for surgery, and take a checkpoint. Take these three years to improve yourself in every way you can: lift heavy, eat right, build your body, work at your job, and just aim to be a better person. And don't forget to have fun.

That said, I will agree with what one of the other posters said earlier: you should genuinely seek professional help. You'd be surprised at how much that can help. Good luck, man.

[GoalGetter28]

First off dude, as a social worker I want to encourage you to seek out some professional help. It sounds like depression to me.

With that said, I've lost a little over 100lbd now. I still have at least 50 more to go at my height. I get that the loose skin sucks. Though to be honest, I'd rather be healthy with loose skin the. Carrying all that around with me.

You can get women to pay attention to you by gaining confidence and loving yourself. There is no need to be a stud or über buff. Just put yourself out there.

[AllApologies]

I agree, you're probably suffering from depression.

I wanted to add this: I don't care how much skin you have, 180 at 6'1 with all the skin in the world looks 100x better than 6'1 at 300lb. I promise that your decision to lose the weight was probably the best decision of your entire life. I think you should bulk, so you can have a solid muscle base. Once you're done with that, you can cut back down and look amazing.

[New88]

thanks for the replies - I'm 180 in these pics. They were taken in the morning, the worst time of day as my skin kind of pools at my sides when I'm laying down. I have started bulking but ironically i'm having trouble eating enough. I'm gonna get my lifts up and hope for the best. I'm just so pissed that I didn't try to loose weight earlier, or that i just didn't cut down on my eating so my skin would have a chance. I'm 27 btw.

[AllApologies]

thanks for the replies - I'm 180 in these pics. They were taken in the morning, the worst time of day as my skin kind of pools at my sides when I'm laying down. I have started bulking but ironically i'm having trouble eating enough. I'm gonna get my lifts up and hope for the best. I'm just so pissed that I didn't try to loose weight earlier, or that i just didn't cut down on my eating so my skin would have a chance. I'm 27 btw.

What skin, (srs).

I think you might have BDD along with depression. Your extra skin is so mild it's hard to understand why you're so worried about it. I'm convinced that if you bulked for a good while, then cut back down, that you're gonna look normal.

Also, you're 27. You did this very early, rather than at 45. You should be very thankful that you didn't wait until 50, when you would have started to have heart issues because of the extra weight.

[New88]

What skin, (srs).

I think you might have BDD along with depression. Your extra skin is so mild it's hard to understand why you're so worried about it. I'm convinced that if you bulked for a good while, then cut back down, that you're gonna look normal.

Also, you're 27. You did this very early, rather than at 45. You should be very thankful that you didn't wait until 50, when you would have started to have heart issues because of the extra weight.

I hope so, but the pics are misleading. this pic shows what happens when i bend over

[AllApologies]

Still not seeing much.

[Bigulp]

Its not that bad, start packing on some muscle and get the skin removed if it makes you feel better. Start building your social skills and seek help for your depression. You have accomplished a lot losing all that weight and if you keep working hard things will continue to improve.

[Horizon92]

I went from 330lbs and I am now at 218 @ 6'4. I had a lot of the same issues at you. It was a huge anti climax when I realized I was considered normal again. Was this it? I wasn't happier.

For me it took about 1,5 years sitting at the same weight, learning different stuff and finding myself.

[Jenslyn17]

OP, I honestly think you should see a professional. It sounds serious, man.

That said, find something to get passionate about. Try to build some muscle maybe and fill out your frame. Fix the extra skin if it bothers you as much as you say. Get active and do something

Wish you the best

[Sendug]

I went form 420 to 200. It does get better. Looking at your pics you don't seem to have a lot of muscle mass. If you increase your muscle mass, trust me, you will look an feel 100% better. A lot of people make the mistake of not lifting heavy when losing weight.

[Brad805]

Many of us males that go thru this battle with obesity all of our lives and then finally make the change never seem to try to fix our mental perspective while we work on our physical appearance. It sounds like you are a fat guy trapped in a skinny body. You really need to give yourself the win for some of the achievements you have made and find how to appreciate some of little things. Your mental attitude is going to keep you down and women do not dig the whiny, suck the life out of everything type crap. Have you ever thought about reading any books on changing your mindset? I have a coach that helped me with that part of my journey this year, and I can honestly say it did a world of good for me.

[RRJ]

You have it much better than a lot of people in life. You're also better off than where you were. At my lowest weight I lost close to 200 lbs. This is an accomplishment I am proud of, knowing the effort and commitment it took. I have loose skin and stretch marks, but at this point they are only reminders of the battles and struggles I had to overcome, which you too have overcome. Your life is more than just your body, try not to forget that. You fantasized about making other guys jealous, this isn't a healthy perspective. You shouldn't be so focused on something that makes other people feel bad. Of all people, you should know better.

Focus on the positive attributes you have, the hard work you've done, and people will be attracted to you. I have plenty of skin and stretch marks to rival most anyone, but I have an incredibly awesome and gorgeous girlfriend. No, I'm not going to be a Calvin Klein model that "makes other men jealous", but I don't have to be nor is it my goal. You need to re-evaluate your own goals in life and recognize that you can be happy. Hell, as a 350+ lb morbidly obese man I was much happier than you sound. There's no reason for this. Like others said, you may need professional help.

[MoldyGopher]

anyone that's been there, please tell me it gets better

It gets better. *You* get better.

Seriously, 'health' is more than just a number on a scale - there's mental, physical, spiritual...

Take a deep breath. Everything is not ruined.

[New88]

I just didn't know what I was doing when I was younger. It seems like a dream, something that happened to someone else.

I can't believe that the people around me didn't stop me when I was a kid, and given me better habits. I can't believe what I was doing back then, what I was thinking. I don't even really like food, its very hard to bulk now.

The past me has permanently damaged the me of today, the skin on the inside of my thighs and glutes is there and disgusting. Surgery will leave scars and is too costly

no matter what I do, I can't fix what I've done, even a therapist can't fix my body. As happy as i will ever get i will never know what i could have been.

[gspratley]

YES, patience!! You can do it!

I lost 122. You think I would feel great but I don't. I'm not trying to boast, but with calorie counting it wasn't that hard it just required patience.

I started at 300 pounds (6'1). When I was young I ate a lot and my parent's didn't stop me, only every now and again saying little hints to stop. In high school I get bigger, i get depression and other illnesses. I miss out a good portion of my last year sick at home, I manage to graduate somehow even though I didn't pick up quite a few skills that would be useful now. I tell myself that I'm not too bad. Eventually I get to the highest size pants in the local stores. For some reason i decide to diet. I go to weight watchers then eventually hit the gym. I have fantasies of being the attractive guy that gets girls and make other guys jealous, I didn't think that I would have bad skin (thought that it was a gastric bypass thing).

I get to 180 pounds and I look like a freak, skin is everywhere. For the last few weeks I have been looking at my life and realizing how different it was to everyone else. I have no real experience with women and i can't relate to my peers, some of whom are married now. I will never know my potential, all i can do is salvage a shred of what i could of have with surgery (that i have to pay out of pocket for but can't afford), at the back of my mind is always the question: why didn't I start earlier? Why didn't anyone force me when I was younger? Why did I have to get sick at that time in my life? why was i so embarrassingly stupid? I look at skinny/muscular people with envy, seemingly they are everywhere now. I get panic attacks everyday. I was made redundant recently. This wasn't the life i was supposed to live. Everything is ruined, I just want to start again. Getting up in the morning is awful, I dream and as I awake I remember how I am and was and I feel like dying. I don't want to do it anymore, the knowledge of everything I could have been is just too much. I just want the pain to stop.

anyone that's been there, please tell me it gets better

[Iren1cuss]

I lost more than 100 pounds (check profile for transformation). I didn't do any cardio, just weight lifting. I don't have any problems with loose skin. My advice would be to start lifting.

[BoringWesley]

I agree with the other members that you should seek professional help, someone that can help find the underlying cause to your suffering.

Good luck

[rdelgallo]

I was in the same position you are in. I saw your pics. I was 305 pounds at 18 years old. I lost 140 pounds, and was down to 169. I got to small but i still had the loose skin and i hated it. I still saw myself as the fat kid and thought whats the point? i allowed myself to gain weight back to 220 and im back in the process of losing weight again. our minds play tricks on us, we still see ourselves as the way we were and not where we are now. its about the confidence!

[Nitais]

Suffering is a mental state. Psychotherapy is not intended to change your body, but to change the way your mind reacts to your body and subsequently the rest of your life. To quote one of my favorite books (which I highly recommend to everyone): "We cannot solve life's problems except by solving them. This statement may seem idiotically tautological or self-evident, yet it is seemingly beyond the comprehension of much of the human race. This is because we must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it." - Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled.

This does not mean other people (like parents) played no role in our becoming obese (my mother's lack of discipline certainly nurtured my own), but what it means is that we are now saddled with a problem that it is up to us to solve. That does not mean we are alone, but it means if we want help, we have to get it. Nobody else can do so. We have to check ourselves from making our standard excuses. Most things, however unlikely they seem, are worth the sincere effort. If we knew what they had to offer before we did them, we would have already done them. So take chances and do what you need for help. (please don't take my words condescendingly; I am trying to live by my own advice, too.)

[Brad805]

What benefit playing the blame game be at this point to you? Each of us that has made this journey has likely had someone comment about losing some weight long before we started, yet each of us waited until that "whatever" moment or event that caused us finally to do something. Your parents, friends or even your enemies could have shouted at you endlessly to do something about it, but it just does not work that way. We are all individuals and very rarely can anyone force another person to do much of anything with all the tough love they can muster. In any case, looking to the past and playing the "what if" scenarios is not going to achieve anything. Look to the past to figure out what went wrong, forgive whomever you need, what you need to change, and get living in the now.

As for the loose skin or stretch marks, you will need to get over that. Many that have responded are a bit older and our skin is less elastic so you are much better off. A good woman will understand and appreciate you for you, and cut you a bit of slack over the past. You can always save for a small surgery if that is what it will take at some point. The sooner you can get over the "he/they have/has it better than me crap", the better.

Finding the right mindset will take some practice on your part. It is very easy to be heavy, but difficult to be light. It will take daily practice to de-funk the stink in your mind. You can indeed to choose to be happy with a bit of introspection on your part. There are many good "well-being" books that might help if you are interested. I am not some self loving whackado, but that chit did work for me and I am the first to admit I never thought I would have been reading some of the literature I did a few months ago.

I agree that a therapist may be in order for you, but if you have not tried to change your outlook yourself, maybe give that a whirl. It is part of the deal if you want to avoid that "fat guy" in a healthy body thing.

Good luck.

[New88]

What benefit playing the blame game be at this point to you? Each of us that has made this journey has likely had someone comment about losing some weight long before we started, yet each of us waited until that "whatever" moment or event that caused us finally to do something. Your parents, friends or even your enemies could have shouted at you endlessly to do something about it, but it just does not work that way. We are all individuals and very rarely can anyone force another person to do much of anything with all the tough love they can muster. In any case, looking to the past and playing the "what if" scenarios is not going to achieve anything. Look to the past to figure out what went wrong, forgive whomever you need, what you need to change, and get living in the now.

As for the loose skin or stretch marks, you will need to get over that. Many that have responded are a bit older and our skin is less elastic so you are much better off. A good woman will understand and appreciate you for you, and cut you a bit of slack over the past. You can always save for a small surgery if that is what it will take at some point. The sooner you can get over the "he/they have/has it better than me crap", the better.

Finding the right mindset will take some practice on your part. It is very easy to be heavy, but difficult to be light. It will take daily practice to de-funk the stink in your mind. You can indeed to choose to be happy with a bit of introspection on your part. There are many good "well-being" books that might help if you are interested. I am not some self loving whackado, but that chit did work for me and I am the first to admit I never thought I would have been reading some of the literature I did a few months ago.

I agree that a therapist may be in order for you, but if you have not tried to change your outlook yourself, maybe give that a whirl. It is part of the deal if you want to avoid that "fat guy" in a healthy body thing.

Good luck.

Thank you for your words. while i could have started earlier, I had stretchmarks age 12, and was close to 300 pounds mid highschool. Someone of highschool age doesn't have the foresight or judgement required to change their ways. I agree with you that all I have is the future, but the past makes me angry