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  1. #1
    Registered User ErikLeeHayes's Avatar
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    For a Martial Artist, with a spouse that doesnt want them to compete.

    She has never stopped me from competing but I would like for a way to get her to be ok with it. Any clues, hints, tips, ideas?

    Thanks.


    ps- please no flaming this post, or negativity.

    cheers!
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  2. #2
    Registered User ErikLeeHayes's Avatar
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    i may have posted this in the wrong forum section :/
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  3. #3
    Registered User PuerAeternus's Avatar
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    First, what type of martial arts do you do? It does make a difference whether it's Judo or cage fighting, you know. What I'm trying to say is, does it involve the possibility of getting you or your opponent hurt?

    You probably won't make her like it when she has something against it in the first place. But in any case, try to point out positive things that come along with praticising martial arts, e.g. discipline, focus, the ability to defend yourself and your family in emergencies etc. Make clear that for you, it is only a sport and not a method to free your aggressions (which it hopefully is). Also say that you as well as your opponent are fully conscious of what you are doing and are aware of possible consequences. If you are beating each other up severely, though, it shouldn't come as a surprise your spouse isn't fond of your hobby.
    Then, ask yourself why and whether you have to compete. If it is for the sake of doing martial arts only, there are great alternatives that are only for self-defence but still fun. You won't be able to compete forever, anyway; so better pose those questions to yourself right away.
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  4. #4
    Enchanting Dark Lordette Artemis00's Avatar
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    You may want to try to introduce her to learning martial arts. See if you can get her to try some kickboxing classes. You never know, she may start to like it.

    I followed UFC before I started taking kickboxing classes and respected the sport. But was only planning on doing the beginner kickboxing classes where you work with a heavy bag (never had any intention of doing grappling or ever competing against someone else). The instructors strongly suggested that I start taking the grappling classes. After about two classes, I was hooked. Since then, have been in two competitions myself. So you never know. Plus unfortunately, there are too many people out there that think it is just street fighting with no rules. When people actually learn a little more about the sport, it helps to remove some of those concerns.
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  5. #5
    Registered User PuerAeternus's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Artemis00 View Post
    Plus unfortunately, there are too many people out there that think it is just street fighting with no rules. When people actually learn a little more about the sport, it helps to remove some of those concerns.
    Since she is his spouse, I would suppose she doesn't lack insight.
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  6. #6
    Registered User ErikLeeHayes's Avatar
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    well i do freestyle wrestling, boxing, judo, sambo, and mma. mma and boxing are the ones she doesnt like me doing because of striking.
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    Registered User Mk2fly's Avatar
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    I'm quite lucky in that aspect.

    My girlfriend supports my MMA training.

    Tell her you wear proper protection [mouth guard, head gear, and pads].

    That should be good, right?

    Edit: Tell her MMA is an art form and not all about fighting; that helped my situation.
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  8. #8
    Registered User MRMBlog's Avatar
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    Ideas!

    I would recommend that you take her with you to one of your events or even to a class. But make sure you do not take it too seriously because if she sees that she can not have fun first it will be hard for her to pick up with routine. If you show her how much you love it and how happy it would make her to share your love with you, I am sure that she would try it and also love it.
    Good luck

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  9. #9
    Registered User mattman281's Avatar
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    MMA is a goal of mine and I'm half way through my transformation. My wife seemed happy when I told her I have a large insurance policy, this also works if you want to buy a motorcycle just food for thought. Honestly though a not so good fighter can win if his/her head is strait and in the game, if this is a true passion, the more support you have from her the better and more safe you are. Plus what these guys said^.

    P.s. I havent told my wife about my MMA inspiration, but I did get the motorcycle.
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  10. #10
    Registered User ErikLeeHayes's Avatar
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    well the problem is that she watched me before and didnt care much until i got my butt kicked once. now she hates it cuz she is afraid ill get hurt again. i was on a big winning streak and i decided to fight someone 103 pounds heavier and 10 inches taller than me. needless to say it was a reality check that my ego the size of texas needed.
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