Rules that All Men Wish Women Knew

[Botika]

I'm going to leave my magazines around and highlight all the things that I want bought for me.

??

Profit?

Would that be a tattoo mag or something? I can't imagine you buying Cosmo!!??

[aristomeow]

Would that be a tattoo mag or something? I can't imagine you buying Cosmo!!??

Really?! I actually love cosmo haha I don't buy it though the ladies at work are more than generous with their donations.

I am GIRLY. Love my accessories love clothes love heels love makeup! If you dug deep into my heart youd find a guidette dying to come out.

[rdferguson]

3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Old people never have secks. Old women all have short hair. This isn't a coincidence.

OP, you missed a spot.

[Lioness27]

Strong list of expectations from both genders ITT. Good luck on your foreveralone goals in 2013.

This, srs.

[IrishKosmo]

I've never understood the not cutting your hair one. Short hair looks great on some women.

I recommend you watch, "The Ugly Truth"

[Keltron]

I've never understood the not cutting your hair one. Short hair looks great on some women.

It depends on how short. For me, I kinda like shoulder length or bob length (depending on the girl of course) but when it's boy short like Liza Minella or Annie Lennox, it doesn't look good on most women. Actually, on some women, they're still attractive but would look WAY better w/o the boy cut.

I guess I just need enough to grab onto lol.

[Meatros]

I'm in a bit of a mood, so I thought I'd reply (ask questions, commentary, etc):

2. If you tell me to wear a longer skirt, I will wear higher heels.

This I just don't understand. I don't tell my wife what to wear - if she wants to wear a short skirt, fine with me. That said, I'm a dumb male, I don't get the correlation you are making here.

5. Yes, there's a fking difference between aqua and navy.

Are those perfumes? Colors?

7. Don't make fun of my "girly" drink then keep sneaking sips of it.

Heh, I wish I had this problem. I like 'girly drinks' (although I will take a straight Johnny Walker over just about anything...well, perhaps a kettle one vodka martini). I have no problem mixing myself a chocolate martini (kettle one vodka, Godiva chocolate liquor and another mixer that I'm currently forgetting). My wife hates hard alcohol and all it's derivatives. So that kind of sucks for me, I like making mixed drinks.

11. Not everything can be flushed down the toilet.

With a plunger, yes it can.

13. Leave the 'effing tv remote alone during commercial breaks. The incessant flipping through channels is infuriating.

Commercials have become a thing of the past with Tivo. That said, if we are watching a movie/tv show, it is not appropriate to decide to make a phone call to your besties that goes on for longer than 5 minutes...Do that after the show is finished.

14. Yes. All of those shoes are necessary.

Fine, please do not leave them all over the house.

15. No. A magical dish fairy does not clear the table. That is me.

Actually I do the dishes. My wife typically does the cooking (she's really getting into it, I cook two days a week).

16. Anyone can pay for birth control pills.

But not anyone can get them...

17. I'm not doing all the cooking because I'm generous. I'm doing it because you are a fire hazard.

Ha!

In my case it's because my wife likes cooking and I have had...unusual dishes... So while I might not feel that there is anything note worthy about some particular type of meat that I've added to the spaghetti (or whatever), my wife thinks that I should have made this declaration prior to cooking dinner... :-)

I'm working on it...

21. in this time and age of gender equality between the sexes? share the chores for cripes sake...if she makes you breakfast in bed? then later on bring her a cup of cocoa and a kiss. If she does the dishes then later on empty the dirty clothes hamper and throw it in the wash. If she does the grocery shopping than get up and go out and bring in the groceries

I generally agree with this - I do the dishes, the laundry, and most of the grocery shopping (all the staples, she'll buy special dishes).

That said, if I'm doing something, afterward I'm done is not the appropriate time to tell me that X had to be done differently (ex. special laundry requests - I'm not digging through a pile of clothes to see if one item can't be dried).

22. We don't always need you to 'understand' all of our strange, feminine ways. We just need you to accept them...maybe even cherish them.
23. We secretly like that you have your own hobbies...we don't want to spend every living, breathing moment with you.
24. You must, at least ocassionally, show us how much you love us/care about us...not just words...words can be empty if there are no actions behind them.

Completely guilty of 23 - but I'm getting better. I have learned to recognize the glazed look in my wife's eyes that indicate to me that she's past the point of caring about whatever thing I'm babbling about with her. I give her credit for hanging in there for the first five minutes... :-)

Actually it applies to my female. The headache part.. she made that up because her stupid woman's magazine told her to refuse sex in order to build a, "craving desire" for sex.

When she told me that she was faking her headaches (for almost two weeks, mind you).

First thing I said: how much more freakin craving could you possibly want out of us (seriously.. her Brazilian, me Scorpio.. dafuq!)
Second thing I said: light your filthy magazine on fire before it ruins you.

True story.

I consider myself lucky that my wife doesn't like to read that crap. There was a website (cracked?) that had a bunch of articles from vogue (or whatever) that if the woman actually practiced the 'tips to drive him wild' he'd end up in the hospital.

[BrotherWolf]

Would not marry anyone who doesn't do this. We will both be working, and I want him to take initiative in doing things like that.

Also wouldn't mind shoveling snow and mowing the lawn if any of you try to do a rebuttal. I've been doing those all along already.

Taking notes... running
who's putting all those crazy ideas in your head ??

[UnaChispita]

I'm in a bit of a mood, so I thought I'd reply (ask questions, commentary, etc):

Commercials have become a thing of the past with Tivo.

...says the man with Tivo...

Fine, please do not leave them all over the house.

I will have no problem picking up my shoes when I meet a man who can actually get his dirty clothes into the laundry hamper and not 6 inches beside it.

[Keltron]

...says the man with Tivo...





I will have no problem picking up my shoes when I meet a man who can actually get his dirty clothes into the laundry hamper and not 6 inches beside it.

If our underwear doesn't quite make into the hamper it's because once they drop from our hips and land on the ground, we then fling it in the general direction of the hamper. By then, we've already expended so much energy from kicking our leg that walking over to the hamper and bending down to get it is just too much of a task.

[seanb1979]

Need to add something about colors... Only colors I know are the ones that make my tv Purdy, no I don't know wtf salmon or whatever these made up colors are

salmon color:

[seanb1979]

My husband always put the toilet seat down. There is a reason toilets have lids... so that the dirty water isn't sprayed into the room (ie all over your toothbrush) and so the room doesn't stink!!

is that what gives my toothbrush that lemony fresh flavor?

[Keltron]

salmon color:

Well, look what the cat dragged in.. and he's got an avi this time

[UnaChispita]

If our underwear doesn't quite make into the hamper it's because once they drop from our hips and land on the ground, we then fling it in the general direction of the hamper. By then, we've already expended so much energy from kicking our leg that walking over to the hamper and bending down to get it is just too much of a task.

LOL! Now see, I don't think that's it; I think men have an innate desire to mark their territory where ever they are.

salmon color:

What in the h3ll is that?

[cowboybiker]

What in the h3ll is that?

A bald guy that likes to curl Salmon

[UnaChispita]

A bald guy that likes to curl Salmon

LOL!

That's salmon? That's not what they looked like on Wild Kingdom when the grizzlies were catching them out of the river. Marlin Perkins lied.

[cowboybiker]

LOL!

That's salmon? That's not what they looked like on Wild Kingdom when the grizzlies were catching them out of the river. Marlin Perkins lied.

Dont believe everything you see on t.v.

[penny0527]

I have learned to recognize the glazed look in my wife's eyes that indicate to me that she's past the point of caring about whatever thing I'm babbling about with her. I give her credit for hanging in there for the first five minutes... :-)

I am we'll know for glazed over, zoned out look. In my defense my husband talks a lot. A lot a lot.

[latebloomingmom]

I'm in a bit of a mood, so I thought I'd reply (ask questions, commentary, etc):




This I just don't understand. I don't tell my wife what to wear - if she wants to wear a short skirt, fine with me. That said, I'm a dumb male, I don't get the correlation you are making here.



Are those perfumes? Colors?



Heh, I wish I had this problem. I like 'girly drinks' (although I will take a straight Johnny Walker over just about anything...well, perhaps a kettle one vodka martini). I have no problem mixing myself a chocolate martini (kettle one vodka, Godiva chocolate liquor and another mixer that I'm currently forgetting). My wife hates hard alcohol and all it's derivatives. So that kind of sucks for me, I like making mixed drinks.



With a plunger, yes it can.



Commercials have become a thing of the past with Tivo. That said, if we are watching a movie/tv show, it is not appropriate to decide to make a phone call to your besties that goes on for longer than 5 minutes...Do that after the show is finished.



Fine, please do not leave them all over the house.



Actually I do the dishes. My wife typically does the cooking (she's really getting into it, I cook two days a week).



But not anyone can get them...



Ha!

In my case it's because my wife likes cooking and I have had...unusual dishes... So while I might not feel that there is anything note worthy about some particular type of meat that I've added to the spaghetti (or whatever), my wife thinks that I should have made this declaration prior to cooking dinner... :-)

I'm working on it...



I generally agree with this - I do the dishes, the laundry, and most of the grocery shopping (all the staples, she'll buy special dishes).

That said, if I'm doing something, afterward I'm done is not the appropriate time to tell me that X had to be done differently (ex. special laundry requests - I'm not digging through a pile of clothes to see if one item can't be dried).



Completely guilty of 23 - but I'm getting better. I have learned to recognize the glazed look in my wife's eyes that indicate to me that she's past the point of caring about whatever thing I'm babbling about with her. I give her credit for hanging in there for the first five minutes... :-)



I consider myself lucky that my wife doesn't like to read that crap. There was a website (cracked?) that had a bunch of articles from vogue (or whatever) that if the woman actually practiced the 'tips to drive him wild' he'd end up in the hospital.

I can tell you are married and knew right away you were in your 30's. I expect that you are doing a pretty good job as a hubby.

[taiga1]

I can tell you are married and knew right away you were in your 30's. I expect that you are doing a pretty good job as a hubby.

Yes, this. Keep up the good work, sir.

[Meatros]

...says the man with Tivo...

Fair enough.

I will have no problem picking up my shoes when I meet a man who can actually get his dirty clothes into the laundry hamper and not 6 inches beside it.

That would be I - but I'm a bit OCD about that sort of thing. I do the laundry because I can't stand a full hamper. My wife would do it, except her tolerance is higher.

I am we'll know for glazed over, zoned out look. In my defense my husband talks a lot. A lot a lot.

I wouldn't say that *I* talk a lot, just that when I get to talking, I drone on and on.

I can tell you are married and knew right away you were in your 30's. I expect that you are doing a pretty good job as a hubby.

Ha!

Yes, I suppose so - we also have kids.

I don't know, I would like to say that I do the dishes (clean them, wash them, put them away) to provide a good role model for the kids or to 'pull my fair share' or whatever, but the truth is, I feel compelled to do it. I mean, sometimes when my wife has made a good meal that was particularly taxing, I feel it's an obligation to help out and do the dishes, but more often than not, I would just do them anyway. She's even complained that since I cooked that it's her turn to do the dishes. It almost irritates me if she gets to them first (which she almost never does).... So I don't exactly know what my deal is.

All of that said one of the most irritating things I've ever witnessed was a Thanksgiving at my wife's family's house. Her grandmother, mother, mother's sister, her and her sister (basically the women of the family) were all busting azz in the kitchen for something like 4 hours preparing the meal. All of us guys were outside playing football or whatever (I can't recall, I just know we weren't helping with the food). So my wife's grandmother is literally sweating as she's eating dinner. We all finish our food and I start to collect the plates while all the other guys attempt to jet out of there. I was like WTF are you doing? I snapped at a few of them. I didn't really give two sh!ts that they weren't helping clean the plates (ie, washing them off in the sink) - but they didn't even take them to the sink. They just let them sit there on the table. Lazy azzholes.

[latebloomingmom]

my husband's family was like this and not just at thanksgiving..
all the women would be in the kitchen cooking
all the men would be in the livingroom talking and watching something on tv
they would come to the table when called and then eat and when the
meal was done? all the guys got up and walked away
and the women cleaned it all up

[Wtuttle]

my husband's family was like this and not just at thanksgiving..
all the women would be in the kitchen cooking
all the men would be in the livingroom talking and watching something on tv
they would come to the table when called and then eat and when the
meal was done? all the guys got up and walked away
and the women cleaned it all up

Oh hell no! Maybe this attitude of mine is the reason I'm not married... but really? This is BS....

[Keltron]

Oh hell no! Maybe this attitude of mine is the reason I'm not married... but really? This is BS....

Lol, don't let that deter you from marriage. It's not like that in every household.
My mom never knew how cook because she grew up w/housekeepers that did all the cooking and my dad hated cleaning so the agreement was that my dad would do all the cooking and the things related to it (grocery shopping, washing dishes) while my mom did all the rest of the cleaning.

[penny0527]

my husband's family was like this and not just at thanksgiving..
all the women would be in the kitchen cooking
all the men would be in the livingroom talking and watching something on tv
they would come to the table when called and then eat and when the
meal was done? all the guys got up and walked away
and the women cleaned it all up

My husband's stepdad is like this. I can sort of see both sides of why but this isn't how things are in my house.

Oh hell no! Maybe this attitude of mine is the reason I'm not married... but really? This is BS....

That is not the norm!!

[taiga1]

my husband's family was like this and not just at thanksgiving..
all the women would be in the kitchen cooking
all the men would be in the livingroom talking and watching something on tv
they would come to the table when called and then eat and when the
meal was done? all the guys got up and walked away
and the women cleaned it all up

My dad's side of the family operates like this. And the women don't even think about making a plate until the men are seated with theirs full.

Another one is the 'rattling of ice in the glass' from the couch, recliner, etc...this is a cue for the woman to jump up and refill the drink. Supposedly my dad did this in the 'early' years, but quickly learned my mom was not his servant lol.

[latebloomingmom]

Oh hell no! Maybe this attitude of mine is the reason I'm not married... but really? This is BS....

not all men are like this
my husband was in the kitchen cooking and always helped clean up.

[Botika]

My husband helps me. I usually have to ask but I'd decided I can live with that.

[rdferguson]

I will have no problem picking up my shoes when I meet a man who can actually get his dirty clothes into the laundry hamper and not 6 inches beside it.

Hi.

[UnaChispita]

Hi.

OH dearie!

You are almost 20 years too late!



But some lass with organized shoes will be lucky to catch you!