A woman in dating

[GhostRider111]

I don't understand how girls are rated on appearance on here for looks to be honest. I would say appearance I am average (number unknown on average). There is nothing glamorous about my look because I don't wear that much make-up to make it glamorous. Same with my friends to be fair. None of us cake ourselves in make-up. So I guess we all fit in to average??
As an average looking woman, I'm not requiring validation from a number of men, by going out getting screwed and risking disease etc. I'm just not in that place.
I'm quite happy being average.
If anything, it saves me money on expensive make-up and hair accessories/extensions and tanning/nails etc.

I'm just not in a dark enough place to seek such validation, maybe.
Why some friends sleep around, well I don't know! I really don't want to ask, because I think it is quite a sensitive subject for some women.
Back in 2000's girls bragged if they slept with loads of guys, now, not so much, but I was late teens/early twenties then, so it could have been an age thing.


anyway.

Again, against all advice I went on the date with phone guy.
Quit hitting your screens, I won't be footing the bill for damages .

So I asked to meet in my town, and we did. He was actually as shy as I was to begin. We went bowling.
Was quite good, but the talk was limited really.
Basically early on he said 'You have a banging body and a dead pretty face, don't you?'
Well I was wearing quite baggy jeans and top, so I was a bit embarrassed that he said that, and I guess I started reading in to its 'meaning' not that there was necessarily any 'meaning' behind it. It might well have just been a simple compliment. Basically overloading me with compliments, which was nice but I was suspicious....
'you're gorgeous'
'you're stunning'
'Are you not wearing make-up? You look fuking fine.' etc etc. Just seemed overboard.
Anyway we are bowling and having fun and then after the games I suggest we leave. He asked to stay out go clubbing but I said I wasn't keen. He dropped me off near my house.
Again he asked if we could stay out longer, more compliments etc and then said something like (not word for word)
'Do you not want to meet me again? Do you not like me?
Me: Well yeah I'd like to see you again, You're good looking if that's what you mean? (he is very good looking) But this is our first date isn't it, so I don't know what I think right now!

(Basically, just because someone is physically attractive, doesn't mean I fancy them)

Him: so how long do you make people wait until you sleep with them?
Me: Seriously?You are asking this? Why do you think it's OK to ask this?
He basically apologised saying he hasn't dated in years, doesn't really know what is OK to say.

So I just said, that I will sleep with a guy when I'm good and ready, and only if he is the right guy. He said he would wait for the right girl, saying girls that sleep with a guy the first night aren't girlfriend material etc, etc.
Anyway, he went on to ask if I will be dating other guys? I said yes possibly.
He said he wasn't going to date anyone now. Said he likes me. Asked me to tell him if I go on a date with someone, so I said I would.

I just basically said if he doesn't want to date he doesn't have to, but we have only had one date. I could be his worst nightmare for all he knows so he can do what he likes, but whatever makes him comfortable, but bare in mind that I could be a dream or nightmare.

Anyway, he said again that he doesn't want to look for anyone else, apparently he really likes me. Personally I'm not convinced, one date and all that, but still.

So he phoned after we left each other last night.
Has phoned today.
He has mentioned that he thinks he likes me more than I like him. I'm not sure, I don't really know him to have feelings for him, so I'm not convinced he can like me more.
Anyway, I take my time I think, with these kind of things. He has set up our second date, which I'm more than happy to go on. He brags about himself, no doubt about it, but he has sent photos of all his belts and trophies, he is definitely a competitive sportsman in a lot of sports it seems. He is semi-pro in one sport so it's interesting but I'm not sure he knows much about me from the little he has asked.

I'm happy to go on a second date though.

The phone guy sounds kinda crazy if you ask me. Not quite a psycho, but it's possible. If I was a girl and some guy who I just met said those things to me? (about not dating anyone else after one date) I would either think he is stalker material or he has had such little success with women over the years that he is beyond desperate. Seriously. Normal guys do not say those types of things.

Tread carefully.

The other guy, the direct guy? He doesn't sound much better. Lots of odd people out there.

[GhostRider111]

No idea why your ex left you... no idea at all.


































(not srs)

You seem like a complete self obsessed bish

Huh? I would have done the same thing. Guy sounds like a total nut job.

IF you think what that guy was doing is normal, good behavior, and what she did was crazy? I suggest that you might want to reevaluate yourself.

[microsuede]

The phone guy sounds kinda crazy if you ask me. Not quite a psycho, but it's possible. If I was a girl and some guy who I just met said those things to me? (about not dating anyone else after one date) I would either think he is stalker material or he has had such little success with women over the years that he is beyond desperate. Seriously. Normal guys do not say those types of things.

Tread carefully.

The other guy, the direct guy? He doesn't sound much better. Lots of odd people out there.

This. Had a girl who I met online tell me a similiar story about a guy not wanting her to date anyone else after the first date. We both had a good laugh out of how desperate/controlling the guy must have been.

The other guy doesnt sound like a keeper either, quite creepy if you ask me.

[CelticTheTruth]

This thread is totally crazy.

[happywithit]

Well my update for today.

Phone guy, well, he phoned, because that's what he does, hence my cunning name.

So what was said;

Firstly he didn't mention my not so discreet irritation with him yesterday, and I didn't either.
More compliments. I'm not great with compliments, I embarrass easily, so compliments are great, but too many and I become suspicious.
So he basically said I was really 'cute', that it's cute that I blush etc when complimented, he said that I don't make eye contact when I get a compliment, but look away.

Am I meant to look directly at someone when they give me a compliment? I didn't realise this was normal etiquette.
Oh yeah! He really admires a girl that looks after her body. This guy is extremely fit, he also seems very competitive ( what I like about competitive men is their determination, I really admire that). Apparently not many athletic girls around!
Seriously?
I see nothing BUT athletic/slim women on TV. I can't say I see many large women, but I guess I'm not looking for women.
As well as admiring that I look after myself, he said it's really nice to meet someone who respects their body, as in, doesn't sleep around, and thinks a lot of me for that. Said he doesn't meet many girls like that so he is really glad he finally has. I'm wondering if that was a line? But if it was, it was a nice line.

He hasn't asked me how many people I have slept with, so this must be an assumption on his behalf that I have not slept around, for whatever reason he is assuming this, although his assumption IS correct. (Possibly due to my answer when he dropped me off, as to when do I sleep with a guy?) Anyway. I liked that comment. Made me feel good that did.

Also he said he isn't used to women like me, so to bare that in mind **shrugging, not sure I understand that**, if he pees me off. (He didn't say it like that though. He swears loads!) Ergh.
Oh!
He also said he thought I was really funny, I think he is very funny. Erm, he likes that I giggle and laugh a lot, and next date is to watch a stand-up comedian next weekend. I love , LOVE, this comedian! We do all his sketches over the phone. LOL. Geeks, I know!

Now the suspicious bit.

He wants us to stay out longer, go to some cocktail bars, well he can't drink, and I can't.

I wore baggy jeans and a baggy jumper when I met him, so he said I need to dress up smart.

I laughed at that in my head, because I deliberately picked those out to wear for our first date, because he was talking about easy women.
Anyway, he clearly wasn't impressed by my dress code for the first date.
Now then, what he has suggested, is we go to this show in the city it's playing at, then stay at his.
Well, yeah, I get it. I'm not stupid. Get me drunk, get me in bed??

I rearranged things again.... to best suit me.

so what I have rearranged is.....
we go to the show, since tickets are booked, we have a meal after (don't have to drink with a meal) then he can drop me off home. 'I won't be staying with you at yours, and I'm on antibiotics (which is true) so can't drink anyway I will book the restaurant.' He was fine with my rearranging. He didn't argue or go whiny.

So that's the next date. I'm so glad he is taking me to see the comedian. I will love that. So maybe he does take notice of what I say.

Not heard off that direct guy.

[AMDdude]

I may have missed this but OP what are you thoughts on first dates and the man paying vs splitting the bill?

[GhostRider111]

Well my update for today.

Phone guy, well, he phoned, because that's what he does, hence my cunning name.

So what was said;

Firstly he didn't mention my not so discreet irritation with him yesterday, and I didn't either.
More compliments. I'm not great with compliments, I embarrass easily, so compliments are great, but too many and I become suspicious.
So he basically said I was really 'cute', that it's cute that I blush etc when complimented, he said that I don't make eye contact when I get a compliment, but look away.

Am I meant to look directly at someone when they give me a compliment? I didn't realise this was normal etiquette.
Oh yeah! He really admires a girl that looks after her body. This guy is extremely fit, he also seems very competitive ( what I like about competitive men is their determination, I really admire that). Apparently not many athletic girls around!
Seriously?
I see nothing BUT athletic/slim women on TV. I can't say I see many large women, but I guess I'm not looking for women.
As well as admiring that I look after myself, he said it's really nice to meet someone who respects their body, as in, doesn't sleep around, and thinks a lot of me for that. Said he doesn't meet many girls like that so he is really glad he finally has. I'm wondering if that was a line? But if it was, it was a nice line.

He hasn't asked me how many people I have slept with, so this must be an assumption on his behalf that I have not slept around, for whatever reason he is assuming this, although his assumption IS correct. (Possibly due to my answer when he dropped me off, as to when do I sleep with a guy?) Anyway. I liked that comment. Made me feel good that did.

Also he said he isn't used to women like me, so to bare that in mind **shrugging, not sure I understand that**, if he pees me off. (He didn't say it like that though. He swears loads!) Ergh.
Oh!
He also said he thought I was really funny, I think he is very funny. Erm, he likes that I giggle and laugh a lot, and next date is to watch a stand-up comedian next weekend. I love , LOVE, this comedian! We do all his sketches over the phone. LOL. Geeks, I know!

Now the suspicious bit.

He wants us to stay out longer, go to some cocktail bars, well he can't drink, and I can't.

I wore baggy jeans and a baggy jumper when I met him, so he said I need to dress up smart.

I laughed at that in my head, because I deliberately picked those out to wear for our first date, because he was talking about easy women.
Anyway, he clearly wasn't impressed by my dress code for the first date.
Now then, what he has suggested, is we go to this show in the city it's playing at, then stay at his.
Well, yeah, I get it. I'm not stupid. Get me drunk, get me in bed??

I rearranged things again.... to best suit me.

so what I have rearranged is.....
we go to the show, since tickets are booked, we have a meal after (don't have to drink with a meal) then he can drop me off home. 'I won't be staying with you at yours, and I'm on antibiotics (which is true) so can't drink anyway I will book the restaurant.' He was fine with my rearranging. He didn't argue or go whiny.

So that's the next date. I'm so glad he is taking me to see the comedian. I will love that. So maybe he does take notice of what I say.

Not heard off that direct guy.

How do you not see that this guy is not all there in the head? I don't get it. And you keep saying this guy is super fit and great looking. That doesn't add up to me. Super fit and great looking guys do not act this way around women (supplicating, phoning all the time, compliments all the time, etc).

Also why are you wearing baggy jeans? I thought those went out in the 80's? All I can keep picturing is these big, high wasted, sack of potato jeans.

[choob83]

How do you not see that this guy is not all there in the head? I don't get it. And you keep saying this guy is super fit and great looking. That doesn't add up to me. Super fit and great looking guys do not act this way around women (supplicating, phoning all the time, compliments all the time, etc).

Also why are you wearing baggy jeans? I thought those went out in the 80's? All I can keep picturing is these big, high wasted, sack of potato jeans.

Gotta side with you on this. Although I would argue that good looks != good with women. I'd say someone who's good with women doesn't compliment all the time, act needy etc. Anyway something does seem off with this guy but then again we don't know the whole story.

Btw OP, do you not get hit on at all during the day? You can't be bad looking judging by the number of compliments you've received..

[happywithit]

I may have missed this but OP what are you thoughts on first dates and the man paying vs splitting the bill?

Well I just assume that if the guy has asked me out, then he is paying. If I were to ask I guy out, I would pay.

How do you not see that this guy is not all there in the head? I don't get it. And you keep saying this guy is super fit and great looking. That doesn't add up to me. Super fit and great looking guys do not act this way around women (supplicating, phoning all the time, compliments all the time, etc).

Also why are you wearing baggy jeans? I thought those went out in the 80's? All I can keep picturing is these big, high wasted, sack of potato jeans.

I don't know. I have to take him as I find him. Certain things I'm not keen on. How much he brags being one of them. But he is really funny, and I can't resist funny. I'm just having a second date. I mean, it takes time to figure people out doesn't it. And yes, he 'says' he isn't going to date other people, but that could be all talk.
I mean, he was not long ago, telling me he finds it easy to get ONS, and I believe he could well do if he went out drinking more.
Perhaps I'm a challenge, and it's all talk. After all, he is obviously competitive.

I'm saying he is fit because he takes it very seriously, keeps to a strict training routine and diet etc. He has said amongst his talk about himself that with his fitness/training routine, meeting girls has been really difficult. Like, for example, I gave all the nights I am available, but he had to offer an alternative because he was training on all my available evenings.

And good looking, yeah. I find him very attractive. But we all have different tastes don't we?

And on to the important stuff.... the clothes Boyfriend jeans we call them here.
And a jumper, it's cold here now.

Like these http://www.isme.com/bench-hifi-v3-bo...1179398358.prd
worn like this http://www.isabellaoliver.com/baukje...ops/TP474.html

I thought that looked OK for a casual first meet? No?

Gotta side with you on this. Although I would argue that good looks != good with women. I'd say someone who's good with women doesn't compliment all the time, act needy etc. Anyway something does seem off with this guy but then again we don't know the whole story.

Btw OP, do you not get hit on at all during the day? You can't be bad looking judging by the number of compliments you've received..

Ha, no, I'm not offensive looking. Lol.
I've been called 'hot or sexy' but I wouldn't go as far as that. I just don't have that kind of glamour about me. What I consider a hot or sexy woman would be like similar to someone like Pamela Anderson or something. I would say she was that. I'm not!

I never get hit on, when I'm out and about.

[moosik85]

Huh? I would have done the same thing. Guy sounds like a total nut job.

IF you think what that guy was doing is normal, good behavior, and what she did was crazy? I suggest that you might want to reevaluate yourself.

No need to put them on blast. Simply end conversation > onto the next one. Why attack their personality then continue talking to them?

[Xinroth]

Anyway, I just said 'You know, I get that you are a fascinating person, and want to talk about yourself, and all things related, a lot, but my life is quite interesting too, and when a person asks me to tell them about myself, I would hope I can tell them without being interrupted, and having my experience misinterpreted into someone else's experience. I'm sorry my business and my story bring back old memories of your ex girlfriend. It must be hard for you to hear stories that translate back to her, so on that note, I've got a lot to get on with, whilst perhaps you contemplate your past! Bye!'

I chuckled and almost clapped my hands irl at this.


Then I read:

Well my update for today.

Phone guy, well, he phoned, because that's what he does, hence my cunning name.

So what was said;

Firstly he didn't mention my not so discreet irritation with him yesterday, and I didn't either.
More compliments. I'm not great with compliments, I embarrass easily, so compliments are great, but too many and I become suspicious.
So he basically said I was really 'cute', that it's cute that I blush etc when complimented, he said that I don't make eye contact when I get a compliment, but look away.

Am I meant to look directly at someone when they give me a compliment? I didn't realise this was normal etiquette.
Oh yeah! He really admires a girl that looks after her body. This guy is extremely fit, he also seems very competitive ( what I like about competitive men is their determination, I really admire that). Apparently not many athletic girls around!
Seriously?
I see nothing BUT athletic/slim women on TV. I can't say I see many large women, but I guess I'm not looking for women.
As well as admiring that I look after myself, he said it's really nice to meet someone who respects their body, as in, doesn't sleep around, and thinks a lot of me for that. Said he doesn't meet many girls like that so he is really glad he finally has. I'm wondering if that was a line? But if it was, it was a nice line.

He hasn't asked me how many people I have slept with, so this must be an assumption on his behalf that I have not slept around, for whatever reason he is assuming this, although his assumption IS correct. (Possibly due to my answer when he dropped me off, as to when do I sleep with a guy?) Anyway. I liked that comment. Made me feel good that did.

Also he said he isn't used to women like me, so to bare that in mind **shrugging, not sure I understand that**, if he pees me off. (He didn't say it like that though. He swears loads!) Ergh.
Oh!
He also said he thought I was really funny, I think he is very funny. Erm, he likes that I giggle and laugh a lot, and next date is to watch a stand-up comedian next weekend. I love , LOVE, this comedian! We do all his sketches over the phone. LOL. Geeks, I know!

Now the suspicious bit.

He wants us to stay out longer, go to some cocktail bars, well he can't drink, and I can't.

I wore baggy jeans and a baggy jumper when I met him, so he said I need to dress up smart.

I laughed at that in my head, because I deliberately picked those out to wear for our first date, because he was talking about easy women.
Anyway, he clearly wasn't impressed by my dress code for the first date.
Now then, what he has suggested, is we go to this show in the city it's playing at, then stay at his.
Well, yeah, I get it. I'm not stupid. Get me drunk, get me in bed??

I rearranged things again.... to best suit me.

so what I have rearranged is.....
we go to the show, since tickets are booked, we have a meal after (don't have to drink with a meal) then he can drop me off home. 'I won't be staying with you at yours, and I'm on antibiotics (which is true) so can't drink anyway I will book the restaurant.' He was fine with my rearranging. He didn't argue or go whiny.

So that's the next date. I'm so glad he is taking me to see the comedian. I will love that. So maybe he does take notice of what I say.

Not heard off that direct guy.

Just lol. Anyone cares to dissect every part of this? Guy either has terrible game, or his brain is not completely functional, or he's desperate, or simply; His game is good and he's toying the heck out with happywithit.

[microsuede]

Stop wearing grandma jeans on dates!

[Granrey]

not sure, how a guy goes bowling on first date, not only is too strong interest, he cant converse much and has to play good.....

bad date.

[happywithit]

Stop wearing grandma jeans on dates!

Lol. :/ OK, ok. What sort of clothes do girls wear on first dates with you?

not sure, how a guy goes bowling on first date, not only is too strong interest, he cant converse much and has to play good.....

bad date.

Yeah, I could tell he was really disappointed with his choice. He kept sitting down, trying to talk and it would be my go so I would get up. The whole date was like that really, so we didn't talk much. Also noticed he is quieter/more shy IRL than over the phone.
He did ask to move on to a bar so we could chat better but I was ready to go by then, just because I had an early start, not out of boredom.

[LikeAMachine]

Well my update for today.

Phone guy, well, he phoned, because that's what he does, hence my cunning name.

So what was said;

Firstly he didn't mention my not so discreet irritation with him yesterday, and I didn't either.
More compliments. I'm not great with compliments, I embarrass easily, so compliments are great, but too many and I become suspicious.
So he basically said I was really 'cute', that it's cute that I blush etc when complimented, he said that I don't make eye contact when I get a compliment, but look away.

Am I meant to look directly at someone when they give me a compliment? I didn't realise this was normal etiquette.
Oh yeah! He really admires a girl that looks after her body. This guy is extremely fit, he also seems very competitive ( what I like about competitive men is their determination, I really admire that). Apparently not many athletic girls around!
Seriously?
I see nothing BUT athletic/slim women on TV. I can't say I see many large women, but I guess I'm not looking for women.
As well as admiring that I look after myself, he said it's really nice to meet someone who respects their body, as in, doesn't sleep around, and thinks a lot of me for that. Said he doesn't meet many girls like that so he is really glad he finally has. I'm wondering if that was a line? But if it was, it was a nice line.

He hasn't asked me how many people I have slept with, so this must be an assumption on his behalf that I have not slept around, for whatever reason he is assuming this, although his assumption IS correct. (Possibly due to my answer when he dropped me off, as to when do I sleep with a guy?) Anyway. I liked that comment. Made me feel good that did.

Also he said he isn't used to women like me, so to bare that in mind **shrugging, not sure I understand that**, if he pees me off. (He didn't say it like that though. He swears loads!) Ergh.
Oh!
He also said he thought I was really funny, I think he is very funny. Erm, he likes that I giggle and laugh a lot, and next date is to watch a stand-up comedian next weekend. I love , LOVE, this comedian! We do all his sketches over the phone. LOL. Geeks, I know!

Now the suspicious bit.

He wants us to stay out longer, go to some cocktail bars, well he can't drink, and I can't.

I wore baggy jeans and a baggy jumper when I met him, so he said I need to dress up smart.

I laughed at that in my head, because I deliberately picked those out to wear for our first date, because he was talking about easy women.
Anyway, he clearly wasn't impressed by my dress code for the first date.
Now then, what he has suggested, is we go to this show in the city it's playing at, then stay at his.
Well, yeah, I get it. I'm not stupid. Get me drunk, get me in bed??

I rearranged things again.... to best suit me.

so what I have rearranged is.....
we go to the show, since tickets are booked, we have a meal after (don't have to drink with a meal) then he can drop me off home. 'I won't be staying with you at yours, and I'm on antibiotics (which is true) so can't drink anyway I will book the restaurant.' He was fine with my rearranging. He didn't argue or go whiny.

So that's the next date. I'm so glad he is taking me to see the comedian. I will love that. So maybe he does take notice of what I say.

Not heard off that direct guy.

Seems like a nice guy.

Question, why are you on antibiotics?

[BeingPaid]

I don't give a f**k if OP was my own mother
I'd still f**k her with no rubber and cum inside her
and have a son and a new brother at the same time
and just say that it ain't mine, what's my name?

[happywithit]

Seems like a nice guy.

Question, why are you on antibiotics?

Chest infection.

So phone guy has text me, but not phoned. Don't think I will hear off him today, probably not much through the week now because he said he is really busy. Which is cool.

[LikeAMachine]

Chest infection.

So phone guy has text me, but not phoned. Don't think I will hear off him today, probably not much through the week now because he said he is really busy. Which is cool.

I’m sensitive to women who are constantly sick. I dated a girls for a long time with health problems and it’s something I will never do again. A cold is one thing, if a woman told me she was antibiotics I would have questions.

For example, a current girl I am sleeping with has some auto immune disorder where she takes medicine for it, she has a great body and fake tits so I deal with it but when she told me to cum inside her because she doesn’t like cum on her, I was like, yeeaaah I’ll jizz in my hand thanks….


Food for thought.

[happywithit]

I’m sensitive to women who are constantly sick. I dated a girls for a long time with health problems and it’s something I will never do again. A cold is one thing, if a woman told me she was antibiotics I would have questions.

For example, a current girl I am sleeping with has some auto immune disorder where she takes medicine for it, she has a great body and fake tits so I deal with it but when she told me to cum inside her because she doesn’t like cum on her, I was like, yeeaaah I’ll jizz in my hand thanks….


Food for thought.

Woah! That's a little too much thought process going on there, you need to slow down, ha.

My son goes to nursery, with other kids, and toddlers don't have a developed immune system, but rather a developing one, so are prone to colds/infections.

I don't usually come down with much because I don't let myself work over 35 hours per week, but last two weeks worked 40-50 hours a week, so, yeah, work, then coming home being mum, then cooking/housekeeping. Yeah, it's tiring stuff, and it can definitely take its toll, but that doesn't mean a person is unhealthy. Just means they are doing to much and need to rest.

Like I get told so much on this thread..... don't over analyse it too much.

[LikeAMachine]

Ah, the difference is, I would ask and not assume.

Lol difference between men and women.

[Granrey]

Lol. :/ OK, ok. What sort of clothes do girls wear on first dates with you?



Yeah, I could tell he was really disappointed with his choice. He kept sitting down, trying to talk and it would be my go so I would get up. The whole date was like that really, so we didn't talk much. Also noticed he is quieter/more shy IRL than over the phone.
He did ask to move on to a bar so we could chat better but I was ready to go by then, just because I had an early start, not out of boredom.

I still think coffee is the best choice. Some alternatives are iceream or booster juice LOL

[microsuede]

Lol. :/ OK, ok. What sort of clothes do girls wear on first dates with you?

well because its winter... fitted jeans, yoga pants, black leggings. a comfortable top but not a sweater/sweatshirt. would you like a guy to wear saggy jeans or jogging pants to a first date?

[happywithit]

well because its winter... fitted jeans, yoga pants, black leggings. a comfortable top but not a sweater/sweatshirt. would you like a guy to wear saggy jeans or jogging pants to a first date?

The reason I go so casual is because it's just a coffee. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard. You know?
Some days I will wear skinny jeans knee high boots and my biker jacket, and look smart, or a pencil skirt or something, but that's out shopping with my toddler, ha. But meeting someone, ESPECIALLY if I'm suspicious if they are just after sex, I don't try too hard.

I mean, if I haven't tried too hard and they ask me out again, it's a good sign.
Obviously it doesn't guarantee that he isn't out to use me, but it's never-the-less a better sign that he is interested in meeting a second time if I don't try, than if I do.... making sense with this female logic?


Phone guy has phoned while he was taking a break. I really liked that. I'm looking forward to Friday.

[Granrey]

The reason I go so casual is because it's just a coffee. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard. You know?
Some days I will wear skinny jeans knee high boots and my biker jacket, and look smart, or a pencil skirt or something, but that's out shopping with my toddler, ha. But meeting someone, ESPECIALLY if I'm suspicious if they are just after sex, I don't try too hard.

I mean, if I haven't tried too hard and they ask me out again, it's a good sign.
Obviously it doesn't guarantee that he isn't out to use me, but it's never-the-less a better sign that he is interested in meeting a second time if I don't try, than if I do.... making sense with this female logic?


Phone guy has phoned while he was taking a break. I really liked that. I'm looking forward to Friday.

You still have to show the merchandize if you want to sell....

[microsuede]

The reason I go so casual is because it's just a coffee. I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard. You know?
Some days I will wear skinny jeans knee high boots and my biker jacket, and look smart, or a pencil skirt or something, but that's out shopping with my toddler, ha. But meeting someone, ESPECIALLY if I'm suspicious if they are just after sex, I don't try too hard.

I mean, if I haven't tried too hard and they ask me out again, it's a good sign.
Obviously it doesn't guarantee that he isn't out to use me, but it's never-the-less a better sign that he is interested in meeting a second time if I don't try, than if I do.... making sense with this female logic?


Phone guy has phoned while he was taking a break. I really liked that. I'm looking forward to Friday.

Ok but its not trying hard to look attractive when you are meeting a potential mate for the first time. In fact you are trying hard to look worse than you look, on an average day. Trying hard would be wearing a low cut top, no bra and a mini skirt... not wearing a fitted pair of jeans and nice fitted top. I think skinny jeans, knee high boots with a biker jacket is perfectly fine and not try hard. If you are that suspicious, and turned off if a guy is just after sex, why are you meeting with that guy in the first place? I feel this thread should have at least made you more aware based on the messages and phone convos you have with these guys, pre-first date what they are after. Some guys do want to date you, and maybe a long term relationship if thing go right but the game playing you and other women do is ridiculous. If a guy is after just sex you can be wearing a nun outfit and he'll still be after you.

[happywithit]

If a guy is after just sex you can be wearing a nun outfit and he's still going to try and bed you that night.

Point taken.
But please don't mistake my caution, for game playing. It really is just caution.

[microsuede]

Point taken.
But please don't mistake my caution, for game playing. It really is just caution.

Oook

[GregariousWolf]

But please don't mistake my caution, for game playing. It really is just caution.

[skinneh]

Just lol. Anyone cares to dissect every part of this? Guy either has terrible game, or his brain is not completely functional, or he's desperate, or simply; His game is good and he's toying the heck out with happywithit.

Agree. Something is odd about this dude. Who knows, maybe they have insane chemistry and he can feel it, or he really is desperate/clingy.. or its his game and it works? It's hard to tell.. we only get her side of the story!

Good luck on Friday OP!

[happywithit]

Agree. Something is odd about this dude. Who knows, maybe they have insane chemistry and he can feel it, or he really is desperate/clingy.. or its his game and it works? It's hard to tell.. we only get her side of the story!

Good luck on Friday OP!

He phoned again during his break.

As I have said earlier on this thread, I'm really not in to text messaging, anyway, I mentioned that it was my usual experience that a guy texts rather phones, and that I prefer to chat anyway. Asked him why he preferred to phone.
He said -He has fat fingers, lol, made me open my eyes wide that comment did, but to get back to the point, he isn't very good at texts. It takes him ten minutes to write a sentence.
Also, he just said why text when he would prefer to chat anyway.
I definitely like this element about him.

And as for the desperate/clingy.

Well I don't feel clung to. He certainly hasn't bored me. But he is interesting, sometimes self absorbed.
He phones me when he gets a break, and that is really nice, it's really nice that he would rather talk to me, than anyone else.

Also his telling me that he likes me on the first date.
Well I really admire that he is open like that. That's a long term quality that is.
AND everyone is so hung up on protecting their feelings, it's very refreshing to meet someone who isn't so fussed.
I see it as he is fearless (in the sense of getting his emotions hurt) rather than fearful, and protecting himself through games.
The fearlessness, in that regard is also another long term trait I admire. I do want a man to lead in a long term relationship, and a man that is fearless with his emotions is a good man to lead... you not think?
I like his competitiveness, and determination. More long term qualities.

As for the him not dating anyone else, well who knows?
and for me not dating anyone else?
Well I don't jump in head first. I am much more contained.
I like a lot of his qualities. I am not fearless, I'm quite fearful, but his attitude seems to be rubbing off on me.
I will for now keep my options open, which he has said is fine, but he would like to know if I date someone else.
I definitely admire the way he does things though.

BUT I am a person who takes calculated risks in business, weighing up the pro's and con's.
His business is to jump in a ring and be guarded and fearless and throw solid punches to get the job done, so to speak. So we both operate in our everyday lives very differently.


Yeah, yeah, yeah, the hamster wheel and all that! I see that one being thrown in somewhere.