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  1. #3481
    Registered User rachelremnant's Avatar
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    @shesprints Will indeed keep you guys posted on the input from my Doc

    @andrea Love the emotional writing link. And yes, let's kick this together, power in numbers.

    Also, wanted to say to everyone here that if they ever need some support/ have the urge to restrict or binge/ just need to rant then feel free to message me. As someone who's recovering I may not have the answers but I've probably been there, done that, felt the same way and can definitely empathise. Have a great day everyone

  2. #3482
    Registered User JakeSim's Avatar
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    Going on 6 days binge free. Feels good and kind of want to eat but I'm doing really good at just not wanting to. If that makes sense.

    My fat intake and vegetable intake hasn't been on top. A few days of like 15g or whatever of fat off my required I take and haven't really consumed veges this week and consumed meat like once this week as well and I chose to do a carb up today but may take an extra rest day.

    Still concerned with things like if extra rest days will ruin my progress and muscle retention or like if what I said above is going to affect me.

  3. #3483
    Forever hungry andrealazio's Avatar
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    @JakeSim I know mate. I've been there before. Hold on. Just remember that once you binge you'll remember that is not worth it. Keep going!
    "It's like you have to save your own life, because nobody's going to be able to save it for you. So we have to do what we have to do, no matter what it is." - Kai Greene

  4. #3484
    Not Natty sonnydfrizzy's Avatar
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    @jake
    Carb up?? are you cutting now and still counting macros? If you are, is that going to solve your issues with food long term?
    Been playing with shafts and balls since '75.

  5. #3485
    Registered User ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    ^^^

    It's been said/implied to him numerous times to stop micromanaging/overanalyzing his intake, yet posts like those still appear.

  6. #3486
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    @GorillaBAM

    Well, the reason you're feeling sluggish isn't b/c of a certain eating plan, it's because you've been deprived. Believe me, I know, at 108 pounds, I could hardly play a simple game of basketball without getting the least bit tired. It takes a lot of time unfortunately which also kills me inside as some days, I either feel sluggish and other days, I feel pumped up, ready for the day.

    Just give it time man. The energy will come as you progress further through it. It took me over a year just to realize that.


    As for me, I knew I shouldn't have, but I went on Athletic.net to look at times from the meet yesterday that my XC team had and it really triggered some thoughts in my E.D. Seeing some of the kids that I was much faster at beat my previous time (which was horrible due to my E.D) was saddening. Not only that, if I don't get my act together in time for Track, I'm afraid of how fast I would be b/c people have high expectations of my running and the fact that they'll say I'm slow is very frightening, but I know I shouldn't be worrying about these things now ....

  7. #3487
    Banned GorillaBAM's Avatar
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    @shesprints

    Sorry for confuse, I do IF, or fasting to be exact because I feel much more energized during the day when I don't eat. Usually after I've eaten food in the evening I am extremely tired and sluggish 2-4 hours after eating so that's why I fast pretty much all day.
    I was just wondering is IF the thing which makes me have this ED? Can I ever be somewhat healthy and do IF without having ED?

    @XCRunner9

    I know, I felt also sluggish back in the days were I was at my lowest but now I feel pretty energized and great until I eat something which is why I do IF

  8. #3488
    Registered User ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    @gorilla

    Firstly, "IF" has been talked about numerous times before in this thread. At the end of it all, you're still abstaining from food and restricting yourself. Whether you think so or not. Fasting = not eating. I strongly, strongly believe that you should STOP doing this, if you want to have any hope in getting over your disease.

    "ut now I feel pretty energized and great until I eat something which is why I do IF"

    This statement, in and of itself makes no sense. (sorry if I come off as rude, or blunt I'm just trying to get you to see things clearly.)
    Food = energy. If you're intentionally going without food, you're not going to have energy. Unless you lived in a caffeine induced "high" all day, like I used to do.. in which case, it still wouldn't even matter. Your body would still be feeding on itself, while you restricted your intake.
    Again...
    - DO NOT FAST!
    - Do your best to eat until moderately full.
    - Eat when you feel the need too.
    - Do your best to regain a normal, and healthy relationship with food.

  9. #3489
    Maximizing Potential brandonbourgoin's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by rachelremnant View Post
    1 day non-binge. Woke up feeling normal and not bloated for the first time in ages and didn't have the night sweats I've been suffering with after late night binging. Feeling good
    Congratz keep up the good work!
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  10. #3490
    Banned GorillaBAM's Avatar
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    @Erik

    I know there's been lots of discussion about IF and how it is not recommended to anyone recovering from ED but as I said I tend to get extremely sleepy and sluggish after eating something bigger than snack sized.
    That's why I do fast but I don't find it as bad as you said it is, but is it really that bad? I don't usually get hungry during day, I tend to get hungry at the end of my workout or sometimes before when I eat something really small so I won't feel sluggish, ( rice cakes with nutella for example )

  11. #3491
    Registered User ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    @gorilla

    The reason that you get "extremely sleepy and sluggish" is because your body is not accustomed to NORMAL eating habits, and normal feeding. I'm not going to go on and on about this, but I'll try to be as simple as I can here.

    The body adapts to what you do/put it through. I was very very similar to yourself, I would fast for 16-20 hours a day.. and feel like I was completely normal. I wouldn't have the slightest "tingle" of hunger. Even after eating some broccoli, I would feel weak and tired. But that was only because I conditioned my body to adapt to ABNORMAL eating patterns and eating disordered behaviors.
    At the end of the day, I'll say it again... IF isn't normal, and it's definitely not going to help you overcome your disorder.

  12. #3492
    Registered User JakeSim's Avatar
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    @sonny

    For me, I believe it will fix it. Everyone is different. Again, for me, the route is to continue my diet and just get back into the habit and get through the urges and with time it may become easier.

    One solution may not be what's best for another.

  13. #3493
    Registered User ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    ^^^ Has the "dieting" helped you/gotten you through the urges in the past?

    No hate, just trying to get you to see things from a different perspective.

  14. #3494
    sadly, life is a marathon shesprints's Avatar
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    Gorillabro, I used to think food made me sleepy and sluggish, used to think it ruined my running performance, whatever. NOPE. It was the fact that I wasn't USED to eating regular meals that made it a stress on my system. Oh, yeah, and all of my restrictions on food types also gave me a lot of intolerances to things that I had to slowly reintroduce into my diet.

    Thought wheat was bad. NOPE. F*CKING DELICIOUS. Thought sugar was bad. Nope, not in the right amounts and when accompanied by normal amounts of other foods as well. Thought all carbs were bad...

    very false, carbs are amazing and I feel so much better and perform better with them.

    Some of us have to ignore our body cues for a little while in order to normalize our relationship with food. That means just eat regular meals (3 meals 2 snacks is what my ED treatment recommended and I agree). Decently sized meals. Get used to the feeling of being moderately full and moving on with your day. find what food types make you feel the best but don't base it on orthorexic beliefs. For instance, I used to think a giant salad and also some vegetables and protein should make me feel the best. It turns out quesadillas make me feel pretty great after a run and I recover well on that. Turns out I like toast and peanut butter and a whole egg more than a fake protein pancake for breakfast because I feel more energized and full but not sleepy.

    Also, I'm willing to bet most of you (ahem, actually, even the ones giving advice the most) still eat super-low-calorie protein waffles and sh*t. Some food won't kill you. You will also likely feel your hunger and fullness better and not be bloated, which just messes things up all over. You want to be in a position where you know enough of how your body responds to common foods that if you are out, you could order something you also already eat at home--that is what I am working on right now, eating meals that are 'normal' so that I don't feel paralyzed by the need to have my special kibble.

    End rant.


    XCRunner: you can't run well if you don't eat well, and eat enough. Do you feel energetic and happy and ready to train? No? Eat until you do. Relax. I promise, the chance to break PRs is always there. You have years ahead of you... if you stay healthy, unlike me--don't be me and throw away your best training years staring morosely at a tiny container of cottage cheese.
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  15. #3495
    Maximizing Potential brandonbourgoin's Avatar
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    After tonight is over i have made it 17 PHUCKING DAYS BINGE FREE The longest period of time i have ever been in my life binge free. This reverse dieting/almost at bulking cals has helped me so much, i havent been hungry or had the urge to binge in two weeks! I just hope i hit a point one day throughout this bulk where i completely forgot i even have a binge eating problem. Thanks again guys for your help. The weekends are the biggest challenge for. So i can garentee ill make it until next weekend. Two weeks (including weekends) is huge for me.
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  16. #3496
    Registered User ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    ^^ Congrats. Keep at it.

  17. #3497
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    Originally Posted by ErikTheElectric View Post
    ^^ Congrats. Keep at it.
    x2!
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  18. #3498
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    @Brandon

    Sounds like you're doing great. Here's the thing...

    Since you're not hungry and not feeling the urge to binge, you can take that last step of putting it behind you by simply occupying your mind with other things. In my own experience, and from what I have seen from others in this thread, binge-eating is almost always the result of stress, insufficient food intake, boredom, or some combination of the three. It truly gets bad when you have a genuine physical need and find yourself constantly thinking about food, because that only magnifies the problem. At the moment it sounds like you're taking care of the physical need, so once you start to direct your attention towards other pursuits and free up your mind, I think you'll have your mind right. Good luck.
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  19. #3499
    Registered User JakeSim's Avatar
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    @Erik I would say no as I have binged continuously. There was a period I stopped for 6 weeks. But I think if I try to get out of IF and incorporate foods I like and some things I can have throughout the day my desire to binge may drop. I haven't really wanted to that much and I'm on day 7 today.

  20. #3500
    Registered User ErikTheElectric's Avatar
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    "But I think if I try to get out of IF and incorporate foods I like and some things I can have throughout the day my desire to binge may drop. I haven't really wanted to that much and I'm on day 7 today. ["

    Firstly, so you've recognized that dieting hasn't helped you in the past. And from what you've said you're "trying to incorporate foods you like and some things "you can have".. so does that mean you're not "dieting"?
    I guess I'm a bit confused by your post.



    lastly, congrats on 7 days.

  21. #3501
    Registered User rachelremnant's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by andrealazio View Post
    @rachelremnant: I know that feeling. That groce sense of bloat and sweat. I'm going for my first non-binge day today. Let's do this!
    How did it go andrea?

  22. #3502
    Registered User JakeSim's Avatar
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    @Erik

    I am dieting. I'm just incorporating foods I like and attempting at times to not eat all my calories all in one sitting.

  23. #3503
    Forever hungry andrealazio's Avatar
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    @rachel: Day two went fine. Still have a bit of urge sometimes, but when that comes i try to think about the guilt, bloat, and discomfort of the next day. Sometimes i also try the emotional writing, and i don't know if it's a placebo or not, but that seem to work. I'm really enjoying analizing every feeling.

    What about you? I'm sure you're doing fine!
    "It's like you have to save your own life, because nobody's going to be able to save it for you. So we have to do what we have to do, no matter what it is." - Kai Greene

  24. #3504
    Maximizing Potential brandonbourgoin's Avatar
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    thanks guys mean a lot to me.

    @Crucifist

    I do not have the urge to binge, but as you said mostly all i think about is food. But i have been that way my whole life. Everyday life has revolved around food. And now that im bulking and have some extra calories im thinking about food even more. I have satisfied with my current cal intake and do not feel the urge to binge AT ALL. Hell. in 10 minutes im gonna eat a pumpkin bagel with nutella/white chocolate PB. How much better can this get? I think my binging was all because of my starvation diet i was on.
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  25. #3505
    sadly, life is a marathon shesprints's Avatar
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    @Brandon, it is true for some people that being in a deficit (especially when already at a low body fat level and especially when training heavily) can lead to food obsession. When intake levels out (energy balance is attained) a lot of the obsession and many of the urges go away. It's like that for me, I don't ever have urges to binge unless I'm undereating. But when I do undereat I get obsessed with food reaaaally quickly... which is why right now I'm really focused on eating at maintenance.
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  26. #3506
    LIVING determined4000's Avatar
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    regarding food restriction and food obsession
    Read the Minnesota starvation experiment
    Adult males who were starved thought about nothing all day but food and became obsessive and ritualistic about their meals
    Founder of MMDELAD
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  27. #3507
    Maximizing Potential brandonbourgoin's Avatar
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    @shesprints

    Great write up. Makes sense. I was dieting for about 2 years under 1300 cals daily. My weekend bingeing was out of control. Im at about a month now at 2500 cals (built my up from 2k cals slowly) and i dont even have the slightest urge. Im hoping my thought process about food will change. I believe it will. Actually next week im adding even more calories. Im eating so much food right now i have to almost force feed myself haha. I dont even see how ide ever want to binge right now. Honestly after 5 months of this i think ill be excited to diet.
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  28. #3508
    Registered User tamcakic's Avatar
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    I got out of hospital last Saturday. I'm not even near physical recovery, but I'm on my way. During my three and a half week stay I've gained about 3 kg and now I weight around 36 kg. I'll start going to psychiatrist soon and hopefully he'll help me with a few things. Even though I want to recover and have a normal relationship with food and exercise, I still struggle with major body image issues. My abs are not defined as before and I don't have veins popping out of my stomach and I suddenly think I'm getting fat. I am not allowed to exercise at all due to my heart problems caused by my eating disorder. I'm scared I'll get too ''fat''. Deep inside of my I know that's not true, but still... like Jake said: ''I want to be out of norm''... I want to be out of norm, as well. I don't want to look as every other girl. I wanna be muscular and I wanna have my abs defined. It sucks not to be able to exercise.

  29. #3509
    Registered User rachelremnant's Avatar
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    @andrea Well done Day 2 was great BUT major set-back binge last night of ~2500 calories! It was total classic, a little bit hungry, late night, really tired, everyone had gone to bed. Started with one bedtime snack and never stopped Just really glad I'll be seeing my Dr tomorrow.

  30. #3510
    sadly, life is a marathon shesprints's Avatar
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    tamcakic, I can't believe they let you out when you're saying things like that. To be blunt, you sound like someone about to relapse.

    It's not 'out of the norm' to be ANOREXIC. It's a weak choice made out of fear. It's the choice to conform to a different norm--the 'people who starve themselves because they don't want to be extraordinary in another way' norm.

    DO NOT LIVE IN THAT PLACE.

    Ask anyone in this thread, I'm usually not blunt or confrontational. But let me tell you right now, I have been where you are. I so regret that I spent so many years of my life believing that a certain type of skinniness or ability to deprive myself made me special.

    Guess what people really think when they look at you? They feel only pity, maybe a little disgust (because that's a natural human impulse when you see someone who is physically unhealthy; they don't think you're ugly, they just feel a visceral 'something is wrong').

    For me, part of what I really wanted WAS that pity; I wanted to be fragile and live in a world that didn't expect actual achievement.

    What gets lost in the stupid, stupid "fitspo" pictures about abs is that the original meaning was "these are women who can achieve extraordinary feats." The looks are secondary, or should be. There are so many types of achievements, and by the way, not all top athletes have a f*cking six-pack. And not all great achievers are athletes, either. So what? Do you really want 'being skinny' to be your main achievement in life? Because let me tell you, there are thousands of other anorexics out there, and the only ones who 'win' are the ones who wind up dead.
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