Hello, I'm new here.
I really only just do cardio. All I do is go on the treadmill and sometimes the bike.
But I'd like to trim the fat (I'm 5'6 145, no muscle at all it seems, I'm 'skinnyfat'),
and so I'm reading that lifting weights is the best way to do this.
This ****ing terrifies me.
I honestly struggle just doing a bicep curl, let alone dare step towards the bench.
I don't have any friends that are interested in going to the gym so that's been a real problem for me.
I don't have space to lift weights at home or have a bench, etc.
I think about how much better I could feel and look if I just hit the weights,
but I'm scared that I'll look like an idiot or some pathetic weakling.
I'm seriously struggling with even approaching a trainer because
I'm just scared of embarrassing myself in front of people.
How do I get over this fear? I really want to start lifting.
11-22-2012, 10:52 PM #1
How do I overcome my gym fears? Help!
11-22-2012, 11:11 PM #2
How come your scared ? Nothing to be scared of, everybody starts somewhere, and if you talk to the owners of the gym or somebody who works there im sure they will help you out,
Go into the motivation section or the post your pictures section on these forums, look at people who have transformed their body, and im sure you will find it enough to put your fears to the side, because at the end of the day, who cares what people think.
I know its cheesy as a muthaaa phuckaaaa but you really do only live once,
Take what is rightfully yours
11-23-2012, 12:35 AM #3
Have you ever heard the expression "Feel the fear, then do it anyway!"? As the poster above says, we all start somewhere. Any professional trainer would NEVER say/do anything to make yoy feel in adequate or make fun of you NO MATTER what your starting point is. You are the first to admit you are weaker than you would like to be, so even if someone mentioned something, there is no reason to be embarresed because they are not pointing out something new to you.
If you are embarrased aout your lack of knowlege, consider watching some Youtube videos of basic exercises so you feel more confident about understanding what the trainer is going to show/tell you. Knowledge is power, and power instills confidence. The gym is usually a pretty friendly place and people aren't going to make fun of you there, so don't let those type of fears come into play.
You can do this. You are strong enough. Take a deep breath and just go for it!! Good luck!Being weak is a choice. So is being strong.
CBBF IFBB Pro Qualifier-August 9, 2014
11-23-2012, 01:25 AM #4
Mate I agree with the above posts no professional trainer worth his salt would laugh and make you feel bad knowing that you're a beginner. If he/she does, then he/she's a ****ing *******.
Are you a pretty sociable person ? Because if you are it doesn't take too much to ask help. "Hey sorry this is pretty embarrassing but I'm new to the gym and none of my friends are interested would you mind showing me the ropes ?" Again unless he/she's a total douche no one's gonna turn you down rudely.
For lifting weights, START LIGHT or at your level. Do NOT give a phuck even if you're bench-pressing just the bar without any weights. Most "big guys" who have gone through the ups and downs of weightlifting will actually appreciate this rather than the show-off kid who lifts unimaginable quantities of weight at the expense of form. (there's this really huge guy I train with at the gym occasionally, and we lift soooo light I just can't imagine sometimes how he got huge)
At the end, if you're still not convinced -- I have to ask, how old are you ? If you're in your teens then it's a pretty common symptom that you think everyone in the gym is watching you (there's a term for this in psychology I just can't recall), like you're the center of attention. Regardless, the point is there is NOTHING to embarrassed about simply because, well, people don't really give a phuck about you. I don't mean this in a condescending way, but really, logically : why would anyone even care to notice somebody else ? The first time I walked into a gym I was like you, scared of what people will think of me. Well guess what, nobody even paid me attention, simply because other people go there primarily to work out, not to judge other people lol.
When you get bigger, when your muscles start bulging, THAT'S when you'll get some looks. And by this time you won't have nothing to be embarrassed about
11-23-2012, 01:55 AM #5
alright mate i agree with the above but one of my friends give me the best peice of knowlage ever when i first started and im going to tell you the same
think of it this way you are looking at people lifting bigger than you and who are stronger than you and worried they are watching you here isthe best bit they are just like you even at there stage the smaller always watch the bigger as that is there compitition this is an example of how it goes
you watch some one say benching 60kg that person you are watching will be watching the person who is benching 80kg not the person lifting 40kg its a big chain mate but everyone in gyms are friendly and if you are stuck and need abit of help just as anyone who is training for some advice they wont laugh at you they will help you this also means you get to know people at your gym just always remember the bigger people are always watching some one bigger than them mate happy lifting if i lived near you i would have come to the gym for a few sessions with youStrict Diet, Work Hard and lift Heavy is the 3 golden rules i follow
11-23-2012, 06:42 AM #6
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When I first started going to the gym, I was dealing with some fairly serious social anxiety. As you can guess, the gym made that flare up like nothing else as none of my friends went to my gym and I was completely out of my element. For the first week I'd maybe do a couple bicep curls on the iso machine then go do cardio every time I went lol But it only gets better the more you do it.
Take a real look around the gym. Unless you're training at some hardcore dungeon, you'll see people of every age, gender and most definitely body type. NOBODY cares what you look like, they are all there to do THEIR workout. People may come up to you if you're doing an exercise wrong but that's a GOOD THING. Don't be afraid to ask somebody about an exercise they're doing that you're curious about. You'll find, like I did, that generally speaking the bigger they are, the friendlier and more helpful they are...why? Because those are the people who've made the gym like a second home and they want others to feel welcome. I've found this at numerous gyms.
At the end of the day, you have to focus on what you're doing. Anybody you think is looking at you or judging you, guess what? They aren't. Truth of the matter is they probably don't care about you as they're about to go lift some heavy ass weight...why don't you join them?
11-23-2012, 03:48 PM #7
You could start off by doing a cable machine routine? Would you feel more comfortable doing that for a while? Once you've done that for a bit you might feel less threatened by the free weight section?
You say you don't want to look like a clown lifting weight. Knowledge is power. Say you want to do bench press but don't want to 'look stupid', study BP form on Youtube, read about correct form then bench press a broom stick at home until the motion/action feels less alien. You might be only able to bench press the bar for a while, don't worry about that, people wont judge you.
11-23-2012, 03:50 PM #8
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11-29-2012, 08:57 AM #9
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Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real. As the commenter mentioned above, we all started somewhere. You deserve to be in the gym just like everybody else. In the words of Nike, “Just Do It”. You’ll be happy you did.Top Secret Nutrition Rep
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11-29-2012, 09:07 AM #10
11-29-2012, 09:25 AM #11
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The truth is that no one would even acknowledge you. People always come and go in a commercial gym, most of them probably give up, hence why no one really cares what a new person is doing.
The good thing about the internet is that all the resources you need are there, by looking at the right resource and getting a proper routine and doing all the previous homework (learning proper technique on movements) you would be miles ahead of 99% of gym goers.
I always say that time spent researching on a computer is what makes the biggest different in how your transformation pans out."Do not subordinate fundamental principles to minor details."
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My log: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=139515973
11-29-2012, 09:51 AM #12
11-29-2012, 09:56 AM #13
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11-29-2012, 10:22 AM #14
felt the same way when i started 6-7 months ago. Would start sweating real bad as soon as I walked into the gym. Now im Deadlifting more than some guys with +60lbs on me. Everyone starts somewhere..*Born with only 1 pec crew** crew of 1
Sept 2012- 127 lbs (7% bf)
Oct 2012- 133 lbs
Nov 2012-140 lbs
Dec 2012-147 lbs
Jan 2013- 150lbs (11-12%bf)
11-29-2012, 10:27 AM #15
11-29-2012, 10:36 AM #16
Knowone is going to make fun of you. Most the time the bigger guys will think its cool if they see you busting your ass and really trying. I know I like to see people doing the appropriate weight and really trying to improve instead of the guy that follows you around trying to show off and do your weight or much more, with the shiitist form ever. You'll get respect for doing your own thing and not caring what the weight is.
11-29-2012, 11:01 AM #17
11-29-2012, 11:57 AM #18
11-29-2012, 12:28 PM #19
When I first started going to the gym, I was 140 pounds at 6'2". I could barely bench 95 pounds. It takes time, and everyone starts somewhere. The more you lift, the better you'll start to feel.Start - 140 (January 2010)
Goal - 215 (March 2016)
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11-29-2012, 01:34 PM #20
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I'll level with you....quit being a beta phaggot. Stop caring what people think, or how you look. Sometimes, we wear knee high pink socks to the gym, for fun, nothing to do with sexuality. Because whatever people say, it doesn't matter when you work. You can't live out your life worried you might embarrass yourself here, or you might fail at that. Grab your nuts, be a man, and do what you need to do!I thank God for my success.
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Deadlift- start: 405x2 (11/20/12) Goal: 500x1 (8/10/13)
Parallel Squat- start: 250*1 (11/23/12) Goal: 335*1(8/10/13)
Touch chest Bench- start: 200x1 (11/24/12) Goal:285x1 (8/10/13)
11-29-2012, 01:37 PM #21
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First off, dude, congratulations for coming here and seeking advice. There's a lot of great people here that can offer good advice. The routine I'm currently doing I got from a user here. You've taken the first step into building a better you. Secondly, listen to the advice that's presented to you and if you don't understand it, ask for clarification. Third, remember, it's not a sprint and there is no quick solution. It's a marathon that's going to take time. But the time will be worth it. I've been at it for about a month and though I haven't really noticed much in the way of visible changes (nor do I expect them at this stage), I have noticed a difference in the little things. My posture is better, I can stand longer, I don't run out of breath as much, etc. I'm seeing it in my health and that motivates me to keep going.
Anyone worth their salt will not look down on your or make fun of you. You can do this. Go for it.
11-30-2012, 01:03 AM #22
The biggest dudes at the gym are usually the most respectful, so dont be scared of them....they know how hard it is to get jacked---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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11-30-2012, 08:41 AM #23
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11-30-2012, 08:43 AM #24
11-30-2012, 10:37 AM #25
One of the best ways to fight fear is knowledge. Seeking advise is a great step. I was nervous my first few days and kept looking around being intimidated. You just have to move past it. Check out some of the exercise videos on the site. Have a plan going in. Write it down. Go to the gym and concentrate on what you have to do and not what everyone else is doing. Focus on YOU! You have the same right to be there as anyone else. I'm pulling for you my friend. I hope your next post is about your first weight lifting workout. Good Luck!
BTW, the first quote below is perfect for you. Write something inspirational to you on your paper with your workout. It helps.
Last edited by thenewbeau; 11-30-2012 at 10:44 AM.“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” -George Addair
“Nothing happens until something moves.” -Albert Einstein
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily” — Zig Ziglar
12-02-2012, 11:15 AM #26
12-02-2012, 05:18 PM #27
bro, I know exactly how you feel. This past week is the 1st time I had the courage to start doing bench press, squats, and DL's. A buddy of mine went with me to the gym to push me in a lower body workout I probally would not of done myself. I was terrified of the heavy weights due to my strength not being equally distributed. No one is watching you as I always thought in my mind. Being my frame and 6'5 always thought people make fun of what weights I can do. I have a lot of lower body stregnth and upper body needs work. Try doing the weights at a level you can handle. Most important thing I learned this past week is..... form. Being my height DL are a pain in the a**. but even though I could of handled more weight, form was more important. Even the bodybuilder that works there said,"dont hurt yourself" as my form was bad. I was doing a loaded weight leg press and someone came up to help me do proper form so wouldnt screw up knee. People that do say something probally want to help you but most guys are in there to get their work out in and leave. You can do it man, go light, get your form down, then increase weight. Good luck man!!
12-02-2012, 05:36 PM #28
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Just remember, your not the first person to ever step into a gym. When I walk through the door, the world doesn't exist, the only thing I care about is my routine. Absolute best of luck with your fitness goals, go achieve what most people only dream about.Alpha as Phuck, nothing is going to stop me.
12-02-2012, 05:40 PM #29
You can start doing bodyweight exercises at your home to familiarize yourself with form and technique. Don't worry about what anyone thinks buddy. Once you realize that people are only interested in what they are doing, you'll be fine. If someone is low enough to make fun of someone at the gym, they are prob. not worth your time so just ignore them and lift harder!
12-03-2012, 02:32 PM #30
Bro 6 months ago I was 16, 5'5 , skinny ectomorph 50 kg kid with no confidence , getting called skinny,
Now im 62 kg and rising 8 percent body fat and 5'6
Noone calls me names now , instead they want to start with me
Met some great friends there and am now hooked , my only worry is to lift too heavy as people say it stunts your growth