‘Ex-Gay’ Men Fight Back Against View That Homosexuality Can’t Be Changed

[SYRIANKID]

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/01/us...nted=all&_r=4&

Ex-gay men are often closeted, fearing ridicule from gay advocates who accuse them of self-deception and, at the same time, fearing rejection by their church communities as tainted oddities. Here in California, their sense of siege grew more intense in September when Gov. Jerry Brown signed a law banning use of widely discredited sexual “conversion therapies” for minors — an assault on their own validity, some ex-gay men feel.

Signing the measure, Governor Brown repeated the view of the psychiatric establishment and medical groups, saying, “This bill bans nonscientific ‘therapies’ that have driven young people to depression and suicide,” adding that the practices “will now be relegated to the dustbin of quackery.”

But many ex-gays have continued to seek help from such therapists and men’s retreats, saying their own experience is proof enough that the treatment can work.

Aaron Bitzer, 35, was so angered by the California ban, which will take effect on Jan. 1, that he went public and became a plaintiff in a lawsuit challenging the law as unconstitutional.

To those who call the therapy dangerous, Mr. Bitzer reverses the argument: “If I’d known about these therapies as a teen I could have avoided a lot of depression, self-hatred and suicidal thoughts,” he said at his apartment in Los Angeles. He was tormented as a Christian teenager by his homosexual attractions, but now, after men’s retreats and an online course of reparative therapy, he says he feels glimmers of attraction for women and is thinking about dating.

“I found that I couldn’t just say ‘I’m gay’ and live that way,” said Mr. Bitzer, who plans to seek a doctorate in psychology and become a therapist himself.

Many ex-gays guard their secret but quietly meet in support groups around the country, sharing ideas on how to avoid temptations or, perhaps, broach their past with a female date. Some are trying to save heterosexual marriages. Some, like Mr. Bitzer, hope one day to marry a woman. Some choose celibacy as an improvement over what they regard as a sinful gay life.

Whether they have gone through formal reparative therapy, most ex-gays agree with its tenets, even as they are rejected by mainstream scientists. The theories, which have also been adopted by conservative religious opponents of gay marriage, hold that male homosexuality emerges from family dynamics — often a distant father and an overbearing mother — or from early sexual abuse. Confronting these psychic wounds, they assert, can bring change in sexual desire, if not necessarily a total “cure.”


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[tk217]

Maybe they're bisexual.

[brighamw]

[WVguy8986]

I honestly support their right to be "ex-gay", and hope they support others rights to be "gay" if they so choose to be so. How can you support one, without supporting the other?

[Renegade83]

This thread is gay.



...

..... (not srs)

[IDrinkBloodLOL]

also, inb4

[Mr Beer]

"He was tormented as a Christian teenager by his homosexual attractions, but now, after men’s retreats and an online course of reparative therapy, he says he feels glimmers of attraction for women and is thinking about dating."

Sounds like he's totally hetero now and not at all in denial.

[cannadian]

"He was tormented as a Christian teenager by his homosexual attractions, but now, after men’s retreats and an online course of reparative therapy, he says he feels glimmers of attraction for women and is thinking about dating."

Sounds like he's totally hetero now and not at all in denial.

lulz

[NYbrah]

Anyone who thinks homosexuality isnt an illness/disorder/fetish is a brain dead moran

[VAPlowhorse]

brain dead moran

That just happened.

[Mrs Grudge]

Anyone who thinks homosexuality isnt an illness/disorder/fetish is a brain dead moran

yeah, obviously that individual is sick because they like having sex with humans who have the same privates as them. chit is almost as bad as cancer.

[BeefyMcNasty]

He was tormented as a Christian teenager by his homosexual attractions, but now, after men’s retreats

Yup, that's how I would go about curing a bunch of gay men. Gather them all together for a nice retreat in the mountains.

[TheIslander]

Anyone who thinks homosexuality isnt an illness/disorder/fetish is a brain dead moran

Homosexuality isn't some kind of disease, if that's what you're getting at. Unlike cancer, homosexuality can't be cured. You're the brain dead moron if you think so. Why do some people think a straight man just thinks it's desirable to suck d!ck one day? I like women. I don't choose to like women. It's built into my dna. Same for homos.

With that said, homosexuality is a genetic malfunction. If the main goal of a species is to procreate to assure the survival of its kind, then homosexuality is obviously a deterant to that goal.

[leafs43]

Behavioral modification can probably cure the gay out of some people if their gayness is psychological in nature.



This lends to the idea that people can be gay for different reasons.....and most people don't want to hear about that.

[TheIslander]

Behavioral modification can probably cure the gay out of some people if their gayness is psychological in nature.



This lends to the idea that people can be gay for different reasons.....and most people don't want to hear about that.

I agree that a few cases where people participate in homosexuality is due to some psychological factors. But I'm guessing these cases are rare. The belief that ALL homosexuality is a disorder that can be cured is retarded.

[Kumquatv1]

TBH I would say being gay is the likely result of a genetic defect that triggers an attraction response to the same sex rather than the opposite sex, and I say this as the son of a bad ass lesbian mom. That being said, it is not their fault that they are the way they are and we have no right to restrict their happiness so long as it does not hurt other people. I would like to bring this chart in to examine the likely result of lettings gays marry.

[TheJimmyRustler]

These guys, who don't seem completely straight themselves now, are definitely proof that it's a choice.

Every other gay person is choosing to be gay. Even that guy who actually posts here and went to Mormon "gay camps" himself but is still homosexual, is just choosing it.


I honestly thought that this was settled by now.

[GregariousWolf]

Yup, that's how I would go about curing a bunch of gay men. Gather them all together for a nice retreat in the mountains.

coke | nose > keyboard

[jaybeedee]

Yup, that's how I would go about curing a bunch of gay men. Gather them all together for a nice retreat in the mountains.

Lol.

[Mr Beer]

lulz

Well really 'glimmers of attraction' WTF? Heteros hunger for the poon like a steak dinner with all the trimmings. If you're attitude is like 'yeah, I could eat a sprout or two...one day...I guess...', that lacks a certain enthusiasm.

[Mr Beer]

Yup, that's how I would go about curing a bunch of gay men. Gather them all together for a nice retreat in the mountains.

I bet the councillors have to keep checking the bushes with flashlights "Dammit John, Billy, git out of there! Back to the group therapy session guys...honestly, it's like you're not even trying!"

[GregariousWolf]

The phrase "checking the bushes with flashlights" should not be used in this thread.

[Mr Beer]

The phrase "checking the bushes with flashlights" should not be used in this thread.

I see what you did there:

[Dave22reborn]

Talk about denial..........

[Weightaholic]

now, after men’s retreats and an online course of reparative therapy, he says he feels glimmers of attraction for women and is thinking about dating.

Well praise be to god, sound like he's totally fcking cured.

[musclefreak69]

Homosexuality isn't some kind of disease, if that's what you're getting at. Unlike cancer, homosexuality can't be cured. You're the brain dead moron if you think so. Why do some people think a straight man just thinks it's desirable to suck d!ck one day? I like women. I don't choose to like women. It's built into my dna. Same for homos.

With that said, homosexuality is a genetic malfunction. If the main goal of a species is to procreate to assure the survival of its kind, then homosexuality is obviously a deterant to that goal.

homosexuality is a DISEASE OF THE MIND. it is a malfunction and it hinders our reproductive survival but its not a genetic defect

[Aguy2diefor]

Well praise be to god, sound like he's totally fcking cured.

a 40 year old dumbass detected.

[tk217]

homosexuality is a DISEASE OF THE MIND. it is a malfunction and it hinders our reproductive survival but its not a genetic defect

Strong bro-science.

[Godfrd824]

They think if they convince everyone else, maybe it will become true. Sexual orientation cannot be changed.

[leafs43]

They think if they convince everyone else, maybe it will become true. Sexual orientation cannot be changed.

How do you explain "prison love"?