Desperate for help

[Bedhead89]

Hi all

I'm 23 and started the gym exactly a year ago. As you can see in the picture, I am not impressive at all. The problem is I lack self-esteem, confidence and I struggle to get motivation. I'm desperate to look good but it really stresses me out when people make comments at the thought of me signing up to the gym. I know this should motivate me to work hard but this is where the lack of confidence takes over. I've got no one to go with so I am stuck working on my own. I do very little on weights because I am worried that I am doing something wrong or that I look really stupid. I don't want to use the bench press for fear I get stuck under it even though its supported. The one thought that goes through my head is "I don't fit in here. What must I look like to everyone else." I'm just getting really desperate now and I could do with some advice on how to encourage me to actually do something instead of sneaking back into the cardio room.

Thanks

[danyxxxtreme]

think about it this way , you are a human being , we have the same rights as everyone else , what gives them the right to judge you ? are they better than you ? have they acomplished everything there is to acomplish ? no they are normal people like all of us , honestly mate most of the people in the gym only care about what they are doing , they are there to lift not to waste time staring at people. You have only one life don t waste it worying about what others think about you , be slefish , it s your life, do whatever you want.
Just think of how many people are out there wasting their life , getting drunk each weekend , wasting time etc. You are on a journey to change your life , it s not going to be easy and it s not going to happen overnight , but as phil heath said "you have to embrace the journey"

if you have a gym that is open 24/7 you can go after 00.00 or very early like 5 or 6 in the morning and should be only you and the weights.
good luck mate hope you achieve you goals!

[MBidas]

Your going to work extra hard because you have a long torso! Once you build muscle, your body will look superior than most people! Just eat and lift, and you'll find your rhythm over time man!

[Bedhead89]

Your going to work extra hard because you have a long torso! Once you build muscle, your body will look superior than most people! Just eat and lift, and you'll find your rhythm over time man!

Could you extend your point a bit please. Sorry, I'm not very smart when it comes to all this.

I've attached a photo of me from the side. Doesn't look nice at all which I think doesn't help cause it hammers into my head how far I've got to go and it doesn't feel me with much hope.

To those that asked about being in an empty gym. It isn't that easy. It's quite a small gym and I have to walk there. I work on weekdays and can really only make it at 4, at which point it is never empty. I can't go any later cause I don't fancy walking there and back in the dark. I don't live in exactly the safest place. I went this morning but couldn't find the courage to go into the weights room as it was occupied by 4 or 5 big guys. A friend encouraged me to use the machines as a start which I did. I guess it's a start.

[Curlers]

first off, you arent the only one who suffers with nerves, im in the same boat and it its not always nice. truth is, people are always going to judge, more to the point, we think their watching/judging us even though their not. the important thing to remember is; "its not what happens, its how you deal with it".
im not sure how self motivated you are, but you could always try training from home, putting on your own music etc if you prefer that. rather than go to the gym and feel uncomfortable.. using the bench press, for example, you could do weighted push ups at home as your compound exercise instead. if you have the equipment available to you.

if you would prefer to train at home, i would suggest looking at the rosstraining.com forum. - for the record, i am not acossiated with the site whatsoever, they do have products for sale.. but they have so much free info, there is no need to buy any of the products. just trying to say its a good place to look if your after homemade equipment other suggestions etc. lots of people get in good condition training at home.

[Bedhead89]

I do have equipment at home including a bench and weights. I used to work every day but what I found was that I struggled to keep it up every day as I was working non-stop with only the weekend as a break. I wanted to do a 3 day workout but I only get an hour per day to workout at home. Plus, I haven't got a clue what a good routine is that would help me achieve what I was to achieve. I never liked the idea of working at home though, cause I didn't feel in just an house I could really benefit from it.

[Curlers]

I do have equipment at home including a bench and weights. I used to work every day but what I found was that I struggled to keep it up every day as I was working non-stop with only the weekend as a break. I wanted to do a 3 day workout but I only get an hour per day to workout at home. Plus, I haven't got a clue what a good routine is that would help me achieve what I was to achieve. I never liked the idea of working at home though, cause I didn't feel in just an house I could really benefit from it.

it really does depend on your goals / how much weight you have at home. Mark Rippetoe's 3x5 program is pretty good and shouldnt take too long. if you look at that routine but you dont want to train the legs on the same days as upper body, train legs on their own day. just do a quick search in the forum or in google to see the program. its in a graph so its easy to workout.

[mjf100215]

Keep in mind that even though those 4-5 big guys are in there, you're all in there for the same reason. You're trying to better yourselves. They've just been doing it longer than you have.

Educate yourself and focus on form. Let the weights come over time and know that nobody is watching you in the gym. Nobody is watching and nobody cares. Put on some music and escape to your own little world of iron. If you think they are watching, let it be your motivation rather than a deterrent.

[Bedhead89]

it really does depend on your goals / how much weight you have at home. Mark Rippetoe's 3x5 program is pretty good and shouldnt take too long. if you look at that routine but you dont want to train the legs on the same days as upper body, train legs on their own day. just do a quick search in the forum or in google to see the program. its in a graph so its easy to workout.

I have 2 x 5kg, 8 x 2kg, 4 x 1kg. I also have a large bar, curl bar and 2 bars for dumbbells.

I know this is a bit of an extreme stretch but the attached is what I what I wanted to look like when I first planned to start last November.

[Paull1966]

I've been going to the gym for 17 months, my first 6 months were pretty much a waste because I have always had a super low self esteem!!! Well what turned it all around is that I started asking people how to do things the right way, trust me if the guys where you go blow you off find a different gym because we are all there for the same reason. I have found that the other members at the gym have came to be a second family, just remember we aren't there to visit so don't start talking about the news or going fishing.

Another point to keep in mind is that you will need to eat right, and by right I mean not starving yourself!! I never knew about my body having a starvation mode until I got to be friends with other gym goers!

So go ask for a spotter or just ask someone if they can give you some pointers, whats the worse they can do? Say no????

[Bedhead89]

Thanks for the advice and suggestions. It really gives me something to think about.

[desousaedson]

Man you gotta lift them weights! I used to be like you a year ago and im telling you can see some pretty neat results. If you're a bit confused on how to do some exercises watch the bodybuilding instructional videos on the exercises theyre quite good. I'm actually like you when it comes to bench press I avoid it as much as possible because im afraid that thing someday falls on top of me so i only do that when ive got a spotter, but that isnt an excuse not to press, use dumbbells. Watch those youtube motivational vids they tend to help me quite alot to get psyched for the gym, give it a try man! good luck dont give up!

[Bedhead89]

Man you gotta lift them weights! I used to be like you a year ago and im telling you can see some pretty neat results. If you're a bit confused on how to do some exercises watch the bodybuilding instructional videos on the exercises theyre quite good. I'm actually like you when it comes to bench press I avoid it as much as possible because im afraid that thing someday falls on top of me so i only do that when ive got a spotter, but that isnt an excuse not to press, use dumbbells. Watch those youtube motivational vids they tend to help me quite alot to get psyched for the gym, give it a try man! good luck dont give up!

I am impressed with your pictures of your progress over the year. Do you by any chance have an image after roughly 6 months?