In my complete sympathy to all the ladies who come to this forum confused and frustrated, I'd like to share my 40 year journey. I don't know why I am doing this, maybe I'll know better once I finish writing.
When I was a kid I was plagued by GI problems, and I was very very skinny.
My mother starved after the war so she was obsessed with food and making us eat. She'd try to shove food down our throats at every opportunity. When I hit puberty, this tactic made me gain a respectable amount of weight in little time. I went from a beanpole to 145lbs of Mediterranean curves in a short time.
When I moved out and started working, I went through 5 years of very disordered eating with no exercise. On week days, my diet looked like this: no breakfast, as little lunch as possible, come home and raid the fridge, then dinner with a pasta dish often with creamy sauces. On weekends, my diet looked like this: go down to the local coffee shop and have a nice pastry, 4 course lunch at the local sea food restaurant, pizza for dinner then out partying and drinking. I occasionally put 2 fingers down my throat but luckily it never became a habit. At that time I got down to 119lbs, the skinniest of my adult life.
I came to the US and cleaned up my act, meaning I started working out (cardio) and eating more regularly. Over 15 years I gained weight steadily until I was back up to 146lbs.
A couple of years ago I really cleaned up my diet and started lifting and lost about 10lbs. The weight loss was completely counter intuitive and rather ridiculous, so I'll describe it for you.
- I'd count calories and measure macros for 4,5, sometimes 6 weeks and lose between 0 and 0.5lbs.
- Then I'd get frustrated by the lack of progress and stop counting calories. After a couple of weeks of that I'd have lost 3lbs.
- Ok so back on the diet, feeling energized and motivated, right? Gain 2lbs in 2 weeks.
- Oh yeah? Screw this ****, I am just going to try to eat healthy and watch my portions. Go 3 months with no weight change.
- But I really want to lose more weight, so back on the diet. Gain 2lbs, lose 2lbs, weight bounces around all over the place.
- The holidays are here, so screw the diet, I am going to enjoy myself and lose weight on the new year. In January I weight myself and I lost 3lbs. Am I the only human being on the planet that loses weight over the holidays? Pretty sure I am.
- Ok so I have a trip back to Italy scheduled so back on the diet to look my best. Lose maybe 2lbs in 3 months. Go to Italy and stuff my face with pasta, ice cream, pizza, you name it, and no work out. Come back from my vacation 7lbs lighter.
So deal ladies who come here confused and frustrated, let me tell you I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! Oh don't worry I will still tell you to count your calories, measure your food, count your macros, lift heavy... and sincerely hope it will work for you. I really do! And it probably will. Me? I'll be spinning my wheels another while, maybe forever. After all I am almost 40 and don't have much time before old age and hormonal changes set in and fukk me up for good.
Anyway, I still don't know why I wrote this. Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest after my latest unsuccessful attempt at losing some fat. Maybe a little part of me secretly hopes some expert gurus will come to this thread with white horse and shiny armor to rescue me from my fat loss misery. Maybe I just like to take pity on myself once in a while. Who knows?
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11-06-2012, 04:29 PM #1
My fat loss journey - help me understand
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11-06-2012, 05:06 PM #2
not sure if you expect feedack, but one thing that stands out in your post is that you seem quite preoccupied with scale weight. do you actually LOOK different ('leaner'/'fatter') 3lbs up or down? i fluctuate 4-5lbs in any given week. most of it is shifting water weight back and forth and i don't look any worse/better for it.
regardless, if the scale isn't going down over time, then you're maintaining. (rocket science, i know.)
if i'm correct, you have a sedentary desk job right? being constantly on the move doing mundane stuff (like on holiday) on a daily basis burns significantly more calories than sitting for most of the day, even if you exercised on top of it. plus taking a break from exercise and job-induced stress reduces cortisol levels which helps shed extra water weight if you're a wound-up-tight type.
i also remember you saying at one point you did have problems with sticking to a diet? (please correct me if i'm wrong on that one.) if you diet with tiny teeny deficits - like 200 cals or so - they are very very easy to blow up, especially if you have a few 'whatever' moments."The human race is still largely a group of monkeys with slightly better grooming habits. Give them a microscope and and they'll examine their own ****, give them a telescope and they'll go looking for tits."
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11-06-2012, 05:25 PM #3
In the past couple of years I have certainly gained muscle. I can also say that while a year ago I had to get down to 132lbs to start seeing abs, now I can see them around 136lbs. I don't know if it means anything. My weight doesn't fluctuate almost at all if I leave my diet alone, that is, if I don't diet, just go by feel.
if i'm correct, you have a sedentary desk job right? being constantly on the move doing mundane stuff (like on holiday) on a daily basis burns significantly more calories than sitting for most of the day, even if you exercised on top of it.
plus taking a break from exercise and job-induced stress reduces cortisol levels which helps shed extra water weight if you're a wound-up-tight type.
I actually hadn't thought about the cortisol factor, thank you for bringing it up.
ialso remember you saying at one point you did have problems with sticking to a diet? (please correct me if i'm wrong on that one.) if you diet with tiny teeny deficits - like 200 cals or so - they are very very easy to blow up, especially if you have a few 'whatever' moments.
Hey I am not saying I am an alien and my body doesn't work according to the laws of physics. But weird fat loss is weird
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11-06-2012, 05:58 PM #4
interesting. does counting calories and macros stress you out?
Yes, I have a very sedentary life outside my daily hour at the gym. I can stick to a diet for 3-4 weeks at a time, when I really want to. I prefer to go by macros and eat a varied diet, I am not the chicken and broccoli every day type. But if anything, when I do strap down and diet, it's harder for me to eat enough. I have had 1,000 calories days where I had to get creative to find something else to eat before bed.
plus true fat loss is agonisingly slooow. it doesn't follow the '3500 calorie deficit for a pound of fat per week' mantra. that assumes you'd burn 100% fat when you diet. one gram of fat yields nine cals, yes, but one gram of glucose/glycogen yields four calories and you always use a mix of both. there's no way of knowing relative amounts of either, unless you want to become OCD about it and whip out an excel spreadsheet
and then water fluctuation continually screws things up. so using the scale for acute tracking is a lost battle, imo. long term, yes, there should be a downward change.
so imo it'd be better to shoot for slower fat loss numbers, or alternatively cut with lower calories. it sucks, but if it is what it is then so be it. i used to be disgustingly sedentary when i dieted down a year ago or so. i'd rarely leave the house outside exercise, lie in bed for 16-18 hrs a day. hanging up laundry once a week for a little excitement. i assure you i didn't eat a lot of food during that diet phaseLast edited by Miranda; 11-06-2012 at 06:05 PM.
"The human race is still largely a group of monkeys with slightly better grooming habits. Give them a microscope and and they'll examine their own ****, give them a telescope and they'll go looking for tits."
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11-06-2012, 06:02 PM #5
- Join Date: Nov 2010
- Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada
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What I get from your post is that when you eat more 'intuitively' you seem to lose weight naturally. When you batton down the dieting hatches it somehow goes pear shaped. There are plenty here who don't count cals yet still get their desired results...maybe you're one and don't know it?
Goal: Peace, love & happiness...and arms that go bump in the night.
“It's never been true, not anywhere at any time, that the value of a soul, of a human spirit, is dependent on a number on a scale" G. Roth
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11-06-2012, 06:18 PM #6
It does, very much! Ok I have this phone app that actually makes it kind of fun, but yeah, I think it does stress me out. Mostly it messes with my mind. Like if there's sweets at work I can totally pass them if I am not counting calories, but if I am counting, my brain gets into this frenzy of calculating if I eat the sweets how many calories are they, and where else can I cut calories to make up for them, etc. Total mind fukk. But as I say, I can do it if I really set my mind to it.
four weeks isn't really long enough to see *any* changes in bodyfat loss. there is time lag (a few days) for the to body up- and downregulate hormones for starters.
You just burst my bubble you meanie!!!
plus true fat loss is agonisingly slooow. it doesn't follow the '3500 calorie deficit for a pound of fat per week' mantra. that assumes you'd burn 100% fat when you diet. one gram of fat yields nine cals, yes, but one gram of glucose/glycogen yields four calories and you always use a mix of both. there's no way of knowing relative amounts of either, unless you want to become OCD about it and whip out an excel spreadsheet
and then water fluctuation continually screws things up. so using the scale for acute tracking is a lost battle, imo. long term, yes, there should be a downward change.
so imo it'd be better to shoot for slower fat loss numbers, or alternatively cut with lower calories. it sucks, but if it is what it is then so be it. i used to be disgustingly sedentary when i dieted down a year ago or so. i'd rarely leave the house outside exercise, lie in bed for 18+ hrs a day. hanging up laundry once a week for a little excitement. i assure i didn't eat a lot of food during that diet phase
You look absolutely out of this world, big big compliments to you, great job.Follow my 2018 competition prep here:
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11-07-2012, 04:38 AM #7
I have been struggling with diet and exercise for years, and also have a background in what I think is disordered eating. I joined BB.com as an active about a year ago and read Emmas stickies on calorie counting and macro needs. I decided to focus practically 100 percent on my diet because I figured everything I was doing beforehand was just causing me to spin my wheels and not give me the body I wanted. Many people had mentioned that diet was the key. I have basically thrown all the training aspects out and now it is all about my diet. It went beyond just "cleaning it up" because I found that you can eat clean and still be overweight. I am currently trying to deal with the aspects of what caused the "disordered eating." I was on a cutting diet and lost a lot of body fat, but right now I am eating at maintenance to try to deal with what made me a dysfunctional eater in the first place. I don't know if that helps in any way.
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11-07-2012, 10:42 AM #8
I think Miranda is 100% hitting the nail on the head especially the stressing of counting - I am totaly on board with you SY for the stressing of counting food. I relaxed (unintentionally this month due to death in family) and I have been more stable than ever but for some reason whenever I eat at maintenace (or supposed maintenance) levels I gain.
Now I am just trying to find a happy medium where I don't have to whip out my phone to count every calorie but conciensiously watch what I eat and not stick garbage in on a regular basis.
If you find that magic cure - let me know"That's not sweat that's your fat cells crying" anonymous
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147406883
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11-07-2012, 11:01 AM #9
Maybe I should have been more clear, when I say I stop counting calories I don't mean I go take a dive in the gallon tub of Ben & Jerry's. In fact I probably eat more or less the same as when I do count calories, maybe with a little cheat here and there. But I definitely think counting calories messes with my head. For example, I usually keep in the house those 60 to 120 calories desserts like the chocolate Jell-o puddings, in case I get a sweet tooth attack after dinner. If I count calories you can pretty much bet that I will be wanting one of them, but if don't count calories I even forget they are in the fridge.
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11-07-2012, 11:39 AM #10
I agree I don't either (especially since I don't like ice cream, lol) but not worry about every piece of food that enters my mouth is the difference. I do know that I am regularly short on proteins but work hard to overcome that.
"That's not sweat that's your fat cells crying" anonymous
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147406883
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11-07-2012, 11:56 AM #11
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11-09-2012, 09:42 PM #12
- Join Date: Feb 2010
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A big THANKS for posting. I was beginning to think I was an alien. I'm one of those that counts all calories and macros, looks at a box of oreos and tries to figure out how they heck am I going to get my macros to add up at the end of the day...with 2 servings of oreos...yes that's 6 cookies. Like you, if I abandon my counting and just wing it, I can totally pass on my cookies and wouldn't you know it, I'll crave a piece of fruit! I'm finding that it's easier for me to to have general guidelines to eating, like 'eat more protein'...ok I can do that. 'Eat more green stuff with very meal including breakfast'...sure ok. 'Cook you're own grub'...uhh, baby steps here. Just don't give me numbers...I will spreadsheet the heck out of them.
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11-12-2012, 09:52 AM #13
I was also thinking of how my eating habits have changed in general, but how little difference that seems to have made. For example, I used to drink a lot of alcohol, aided also by the fact I can hold it extremely well (I have been known to drink grown men under the table in drinking contests). In Sicily I would eat ice cream, sorbet (granita), pastries and baked goods by the ton. Here in the US I had a love affair with shoestring potato chips (so addictive) and trail mix (slightly healthier but still calorie loaded). For a while I was very much into fruity cocktails, specifically mai tai and margaritas, which are calorie bombs. I don't know how I didn't turn 200lbs. I have totally cleaned up my act, especially in relation to sweets, fried foods, and alcohol, and yet just like they didn't make me obese when I was having them all the time, cutting them way down didn't make me lose a great deal of weight either.
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11-21-2012, 03:38 AM #14
I know what you mean when it comes to eating tons of stuff and not putting on weight poportionately. I have found my body has some kind of automatic shut off when it comes to weight gain. Even after a couple years of practically no exercise, eating EVERYTHING in sight and most of it crap, I hit 142 lbs and wouldn't budge from there (lucky I know). I also have sticking points like 138 lbs if I do moderate exercise and eat "ok", 132 lbs if my diet improves and still exercise, and 125 at it's ultimate lowest. The weird thing is, now that I've been training for almost two years, those sticking points haven't changed much. On maintenance calories I'm 131 lbs, on bulk I've been sitting at 139 lbs now no matter how hard I'm trying to make that go up, and when I cut for competition, I went back down to 125 lbs even though I had WAY more muscle.
I've always wondered if anyone else had the same type of "happy places" in regards to their weight.Being weak is a choice. So is being strong.
CBBF IFBB Pro Qualifier-August 9, 2014
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11-21-2012, 04:41 AM #15
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11-21-2012, 07:19 AM #16
I just usually go by how my clothes fit and the mirror. I don't own a scale and I'm happier for it!!!!
Sy, there are a few books I have read that helped me a lot. Intuitive Eating (amazon.com) and Eating Awareneess Training (EBay). I felt a lot less stressed about food after reading them. You may find them interesting
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11-21-2012, 11:10 AM #17
Ahaha, lol so glad to be of help!!!
Seriously though when I think of the amount of crap I used to scarf down, I can't believe I didn't turn 300lbs. Especially the shoestring potato fries, I'd eat them by the bucket, and then have a full dinner. And pie!!! I used to buy pies all the time and have 1 or 2 big slices after dinner. Apple, strawberry rhubarb, egg custard, peach...
Maybe I am like rebeckyt and my body tends to find some balance point so that I don't gain a lot but I also don't lose a lot. Meh, my plan to have a 6-pack by my 40th birthday is riding away into the sunset...Follow my 2018 competition prep here:
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11-21-2012, 11:39 AM #18
NEAT (non-exercise associated thermogenesis) tends to correlate with energy intake with certain people.
dunno about you, but when i eat maintenance or over, i'm a lot more fidgety and spontaneous. i want do do things, clean the house and such <- all that burns more calories. you eat more . . . but you burn more for it, too.
contrast that to dieting when the grand 'MEH' kicks in. decrease in spontaneous activity due to lowered energy intake easily digs a dent into your output."The human race is still largely a group of monkeys with slightly better grooming habits. Give them a microscope and and they'll examine their own ****, give them a telescope and they'll go looking for tits."
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11-21-2012, 02:08 PM #19
Nothing in this world makes me want to clean the house. I'd rather drop by the dentist for a random root canal than clean the house. I'd rather stand in line at Costco the evening before Thanksgiving than clean the house. Probably the only way to make me clean the house would be if the alternative was to be in a room full of crying kids. And even then, there's always noise canceling headphones...
contrast that to dieting when the grand 'MEH' kicks in. decrease in spontaneous activity due to lowered energy intake easily digs a dent into your output.Follow my 2018 competition prep here:
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11-21-2012, 02:34 PM #20
extra nervous energy maybe
i do refeeds and can certainly vouch for increased NEAT. talk more, laugh more, run around like a lunatic.
on dieting days i'm def a lot more lethargic, but i make sure to keep moving later in the day to compensate if i've had a nap for example.
my most memorable experience with NEAT increase though was a few years back. i had partaken in a fat gain study so i reckoned i'd eat six cupcakes for dinner cue in 15 minutes and i HAD to get out of the house and walk at a frisk pace for roughly an hour. VROOM. i just couldn't sit still and do nothing."The human race is still largely a group of monkeys with slightly better grooming habits. Give them a microscope and and they'll examine their own ****, give them a telescope and they'll go looking for tits."
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11-21-2012, 02:48 PM #21
Up until last week I had been about 142-145lbs for MONTHS and MONTHS and MONTHS! I was then 138lbs after a whoosh and now I'm back at 140-142 (145 after dinner tonight lbs. What gives? Despite tracking or intuitive eating. I just can't get the scale to move much either way? The only way the scale moves is if I live off cookies, chips/crips and cake with a bit of fruit and protein. WTF???
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11-23-2012, 02:34 PM #22
If you find out, let me know...
It's interesting because when others come to the forum saying they are frustrated by lack of progress, the usual answer is to tell them they ought to do X, Y, and Z, and when they are perplexed, we tell them they aren't special, it works for everybody and it will work for them. I certainly don't think my body works outside of the laws of physics or anything, but sometimes I do feel there's some variable in the equation that I can't put my finger on.Follow my 2018 competition prep here:
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11-24-2012, 01:33 AM #23
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12-06-2012, 11:20 AM #24
So just to confirm I am not from this planet, I am happy to communicate that I have lost significant weight over the week of Thanksgiving. Yep, you heard me right! Not only I got my 6-pack back, but I now see a part of my quads I have never seen before. In fact I was looking at my leg in the mirror and got a bit worried: what's that weird bulge in my upper thigh? Turns out that where your "teardrop" and your "outer sweep" meet high in the thigh, there's another muscle there!
So yeah, there you go, anyone who wants to tell me I am not "a special snowflake" can certainly let me know how I could have lost weight over Thanksgiving, because I stuffed my face and drunk wine every single night. I did workout almost every day, and since I had time, I added 30 mins of cardio to every weight session I did, but still, 30 mins of cardio don't really burn much in terms of calories. So yeah, this is the update. I am more confused then ever.Follow my 2018 competition prep here:
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12-06-2012, 12:16 PM #25
it'd really be great if you could provide long-term tracking data and trends you know . . . otherwise it's all random
what type cardio do you do BTW? i find it odd - not you specifically - when people say 'cardio' like it's a single monolithic entity that does a single monolithic thing: not burn fat and be completely useless
how much calories 'cardio' burns per unit depends on intensity, length and what you do (walking vs swimming vs running vs rowing and so on), as well as your fitness levels, bodyweight and such.
anyway, if you add 30 mins of say fast walking 6 x week and each sesh burns 200cals extra, that times six is 1,200 for a week, so yeah, it starts to count toward the totals. plus it helps you shed bloat and water weight, too."The human race is still largely a group of monkeys with slightly better grooming habits. Give them a microscope and and they'll examine their own ****, give them a telescope and they'll go looking for tits."
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12-06-2012, 12:21 PM #26
Yes very good point, I don't really have consistent long term tracking data.
what type cardio do you do BTW? i find it odd - not you specifically - when people say 'cardio' like it's a single monolithic entity that does a single monolithic thing: not burn fat and be completely uselessFollow my 2018 competition prep here:
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12-06-2012, 12:53 PM #27I do the stationary bike on a "random hills" program where the highest level is very challenging and can't be sustained for more than a 2-3 minutes. The goal is to keep the same rpms regardless of the level. I usually do cardio only once a week for 60 minutes.
so you tripled the amount of work you do with a minimum 1,000 calorie extra dent into your weekly schedule. so why wouldn't it be 'helpful' provided you don't compensate by eating more (a grave error for a lot of people)? it all counts. plus it *can* help in reducing bloat/water weight. it's simple really. you moved more and burned more calories. lol.
i'm not saying it's ALL due to the extra cardio (another error people make, believing cardio will on its own burn all their bodyfatz) but it certainly contributes.
another factor and another pulled-out-of-my-ass idea is that if you eat more palatable and calorie-dense foods, you may well end up eating less overall, because you're sated both psychologically and physically. people's responses to their bodies' cues vary humungously.
if you consume 1,500 cals of lubberly dishes in one meal, say, your brain is likely to tell you you're full, as opposed to substaining on several smaller meals of yuck food that leave you unsatisfied and craving . . . and giving into those cravings and eating more than you *think*.
a corollary to that is that accurate calorie tracking is a pipe dream for most, if not everyone. it's downright impossible. i fancy myself as an accurate tracker when i need to be (i measure two slivers of onion @ 5 cals) yet i know that on average my daily total totals are at least 150-200 calories above than what i log into fitday. all those small bits - sips of milk, extra calorie-free fibrous veggies and such. a lot of little things are no longer a little thing.
but i'm rambling. strong coffee this morning.Last edited by Miranda; 12-06-2012 at 07:48 PM.
"The human race is still largely a group of monkeys with slightly better grooming habits. Give them a microscope and and they'll examine their own ****, give them a telescope and they'll go looking for tits."
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12-06-2012, 01:09 PM #28
Love your rambling Miranda as it makes sense also possible the lower cortisol levels because you didn't give a damn? Our bodies are funny and sometimes I have gotten my best results after throwing my hands up in the air and say "who gives a f^ck" for a bit them coming back on track.
"That's not sweat that's your fat cells crying" anonymous
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=147406883
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12-06-2012, 01:29 PM #29
chronic high cortisol is a bad thing for several reasons, one of which is water retention.
another fukup is the menstrual cycle. let's add 2-5lbs or whatever water you retain 1-2 weeks before your period to the mad randomness of eating more calories than you think, burning less calories than you think and the extra water you retain for going psycho about it all, spread freely across any month of the year. yay.Last edited by Miranda; 12-06-2012 at 04:28 PM.
"The human race is still largely a group of monkeys with slightly better grooming habits. Give them a microscope and and they'll examine their own ****, give them a telescope and they'll go looking for tits."
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12-06-2012, 01:42 PM #30
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