In my complete sympathy to all the ladies who come to this forum confused and frustrated, I'd like to share my 40 year journey. I don't know why I am doing this, maybe I'll know better once I finish writing.
When I was a kid I was plagued by GI problems, and I was very very skinny.
My mother starved after the war so she was obsessed with food and making us eat. She'd try to shove food down our throats at every opportunity. When I hit puberty, this tactic made me gain a respectable amount of weight in little time. I went from a beanpole to 145lbs of Mediterranean curves in a short time.
When I moved out and started working, I went through 5 years of very disordered eating with no exercise. On week days, my diet looked like this: no breakfast, as little lunch as possible, come home and raid the fridge, then dinner with a pasta dish often with creamy sauces. On weekends, my diet looked like this: go down to the local coffee shop and have a nice pastry, 4 course lunch at the local sea food restaurant, pizza for dinner then out partying and drinking. I occasionally put 2 fingers down my throat but luckily it never became a habit. At that time I got down to 119lbs, the skinniest of my adult life.
I came to the US and cleaned up my act, meaning I started working out (cardio) and eating more regularly. Over 15 years I gained weight steadily until I was back up to 146lbs.
A couple of years ago I really cleaned up my diet and started lifting and lost about 10lbs. The weight loss was completely counter intuitive and rather ridiculous, so I'll describe it for you.
- I'd count calories and measure macros for 4,5, sometimes 6 weeks and lose between 0 and 0.5lbs.
- Then I'd get frustrated by the lack of progress and stop counting calories. After a couple of weeks of that I'd have lost 3lbs.
- Ok so back on the diet, feeling energized and motivated, right? Gain 2lbs in 2 weeks.
- Oh yeah? Screw this ****, I am just going to try to eat healthy and watch my portions. Go 3 months with no weight change.
- But I really want to lose more weight, so back on the diet. Gain 2lbs, lose 2lbs, weight bounces around all over the place.
- The holidays are here, so screw the diet, I am going to enjoy myself and lose weight on the new year. In January I weight myself and I lost 3lbs. Am I the only human being on the planet that loses weight over the holidays? Pretty sure I am.
- Ok so I have a trip back to Italy scheduled so back on the diet to look my best. Lose maybe 2lbs in 3 months. Go to Italy and stuff my face with pasta, ice cream, pizza, you name it, and no work out. Come back from my vacation 7lbs lighter.
So deal ladies who come here confused and frustrated, let me tell you I know EXACTLY how you feel!!! Oh don't worry I will still tell you to count your calories, measure your food, count your macros, lift heavy... and sincerely hope it will work for you. I really do! And it probably will. Me? I'll be spinning my wheels another while, maybe forever. After all I am almost 40 and don't have much time before old age and hormonal changes set in and fukk me up for good.
Anyway, I still don't know why I wrote this. Maybe I just needed to get it off my chest after my latest unsuccessful attempt at losing some fat. Maybe a little part of me secretly hopes some expert gurus will come to this thread with white horse and shiny armor to rescue me from my fat loss misery. Maybe I just like to take pity on myself once in a while. Who knows?