Negativity associated with female muscles

[shirun]

Oh geez I don't know, let me just guess in the dark here...


SELF ESTEEM?

A lot of guys seem unable to stand the sight of a woman who's more muscular/stronger than them. It must be an alpha male thing.

[awez1]

My family is very negative about my body even though I'm small and skinny, saying things like my boyfriend will dump me if I get "too big." My brother saw my arms once (small little tooth pick arms!) and said they were bordering on "gross."

Gotta love that brother-sister bond.

[CrystalP]

I got my first comments on my muscles today! So happy. They weren't negative either, just "Your so strong" and "God girl, I bet you have a nine pack!" Yes! Just had to share.

[MakeFitnessEasy]

I get some negativity. I am a shy person to begin with, which leads to me feeling self-consious at the gym. The area I live in in general does not seem to support muscle. My senior year in highschool, one of the yearbook pages was of the "most" male and females. I was voted "most ripped" female, but it wasn't with kind intentions. Regardless, I like what I do and seem to put on muscle extremely easily, so I'll always be bulky. My boyfriend hasn't complained and my youtube subscribers are extremely supportive.

The bottom line is, I LIKE BEING STRONG. I'm still working on dealing with the negativity, though. My confidence is slowly getting better

[kiwighostchips]

I haven't been working out for very long, but I feel lucky that my boyfriend loves the new muscle that I've been developing! Now I have to get him started lifting too :3

[happyplace]

Personally I would give precisely no ****s about negative comments because a big reason I lift is for my health. We will be the ones laughing when those who criticised us end up with huge healthcare bills.

The other main reason I lift is that it does things for my confidence which make me more beautiful that any physical element of a human body possibly could.


But actually, I've never had any negative comments about being 'too big', in fact a couple of my friends (men) are always asking me to flex my arms around other people because they think it's cool and impressive. The only negativity comes from my own self doubt when I can't get a pair of jeans that simultaneously fit my ass and my waist, and when I am resigned to wearing sleeveless dresses because my shoulders burst out of anything with straps. Perhaps it's because my area is kinda ghetto and people respect anyone who looks like they could hold their own...or maybe I just got lucky with my friends, and the disapproving ones know to keep their mouths shut since I am pretty good at expressing my opinions when challenged...

[cheerleader0720]

Well, then you would be a gorgeous woman!

I was just thinking that!

[melodyjayne]

Age: 16.

Go back to the teen misc child, adults are talking here.

well said...

[sy2502]

Most guys want to be dominant. They don't want a girl who can bench press the same amount as they can.

If some men have insecurity issues that's their problem, not mine.

[Botika]

Most guys want to be dominant. They don't want a girl who can bench press the same amount as they can.

Sounds like "most guys" are insecure then.

[FiveStarPre]

If some men have insecurity issues that's their problem, not mine.

Sounds like "most guys" are insecure then.

^ This

With most guys it is an "ego" thing..but at the end of the day if guys cant except a strong female (in every aspect) then oh well...

Me and my dudes had this convo before..everything being stated is pretty much true

[girlsagymaholic]

I love all the responses!
I WISH someone would say SOMETHING that even slightly leaned towards calling me too big haha!

I did have a girl compliment me on doing lat pulldowns at 90lbs last night... and she is stronger than me so I was very happy that she noticed my progress.
As far as my husband... we are both in the same mind set and work out every night together, all my guy friends go to the gym and think girls that lift are sexy lol.

My biggest problem is family... both my own and inlaws... thinking it's not very feminine or lady like to be getting all "muscular". My mom actually thought there was something "wrong" with me, she said I should talk to a doctor or therapist because me lifting like a boy and going to the gym every night isn't normal.
Biggest LOL of my life... I just said "Mom, if anything I am happier now than I've ever been, If any one needs to see a doctor it's everyone who's NOT in the gym regularly!" Which would include my mother of course. :P

I love my body. My husband loves my body. And honestly outside of those two things, I could care less what anyone thinks.

[sy2502]

^ This

With most guys it is an "ego" thing..but at the end of the day if guys cant except a strong female (in every aspect) then oh well...

Me and my dudes had this convo before..everything being stated is pretty much true

Also, strong insecurity does not make a man attractive in the least.

[Renee1983]

Have you ever felt self-conscious when people comment that you are 'too big' (even though you think you are damn small)? I am sometimes in conflict with others' and my own perception of beauty.

Has anyone ever felt the same way? How to overcome such feelings?

There's always going to be people who comment about a persons body no matter what. If you were fluffy or fat they would say you were too fat. If you were skinny they would say you are too skinny.

It only matters what you and your doctor think. I like muscles but I can't gain them easily. I've always been a "bean pole" and in my adult years became a skinny fat person who has battled it once...now I'm battling it again. You can see my post about being a skinny fat ectomorph if you want.

Look at it like this, in my clothes people would think my body is banging. I've always been pretty and had men think I'm sexy and women sometimes be jealous of my physique. If they only could see me in a bikini they would see how grotesque I am and little do they know I'm fabulous at picking out pants that fit a skinny fat persons fat belly so I can wear "skinny jeans" with a high waist and have no muffin top. So what people think don't matter, because even though people think that I'm fit and healthy and whatever....I know I'm not. You can turn that around any way you want, the lesson is still the same.

And the people who think all women who lift will look like a man are ignorant. Muscles are important and a sign of good health. If you don't have muscles...you will have fat. When I worked in a gym so many obese women would never touch a weight machine and I'd be like if you would just get off the treadmill and lift you will lose weight. And they would complain "why can't I lose weight". I'd say "because you aren't lifting weights" and then they would see my 96 pound ass out there doing 100 pounds on a lat pull down and then realize that women who lift don't look like a man.

Now 8 years later I'm back to square one...but bet your ass I'll be doing weights and not cardio and don't even care what someone says about it.

[Ang123]

It really comes down to a double standard. Regardless of whether someone likes or dislikes muscle women the real problem is both men and woman seem to think its ok to criticize a woman's looks. Whether its her weight, muscularity or boob size. But very little is every criticized when it comes to men's looks. Not saying it should be either. Its just people think its ok to point out what they don't like on a particular woman's body, but a man they are afraid to say a word against.

I've not had anyone come up and say my muscles were too big, probably because I am still in the losing weight stage, but I have had men approach me in the gym and tell me not to lift weights as if they were God almighty and I should obey their words. And this is a complete stranger. I talked one of my BB friends who is fairly ripped and wins local competitions into joining the gym I just switched to. Immediately these guys who haven't said a word to me I overhear criticizing her shoulders, then making fun of her breast implants and her one small tat. The guys were over in the corner all critiquing her and its like what makes them think she has to meet their approval? Personally, I think some are jealous because they don't have as developed muscle and some are grossly overweight.

[rebeckyt]

I don't get that either... how it's ok somehow to say negative things about someone who is exceptionally fit or lean but if you call out someone who is "fat"... well that is just not tolerated. I had a person comment on my blog basically to insult me and point out my "flaws" as well. This was part of my reply...

"...Now, having said that, I must wonder if you are the type of person that also goes around pointing out other people's hump noses, disproportionately large ears, buck teeth, or perhaps even their acne-proned skin. You are certainly entitled to your opinions and, by all means, feel free to comment on them. Do so, however, with the full knowledge that people are going to make assumptions about your character based on your words. I have put myself out there and I am prepared to accept the criticism that comes with that. Are you?"

^^I agree with sy2502... just because one has "opinions" doesn't mean it's acceptable or classy to share them.

I think I have a girl crush on you! So well worded and you have an amazing MUSCULAR physique which is damn SEXY! Thats what I'm aiming for. My roomate always harps on me about how my muscles are "too much" and "unfeminine" but I have never once pointed out the fact that she has put on about 30 lbs in the last year. I just say, "That's your opinion, but I personally like the way I look." Nuff said.

[rebeckyt]

[QUOTE=BalhamBeast;975856003] I just told him I wanted to be more awesome. QUOTE]

Stealing this quote. Best thing I've read all day!

[DHFX]

The "too big" thing always struck me as odd. I chalk it up to yet another one of societies proverbial hangups. I learned a long time ago to not care what others think, when you break life down to the level that we're all just individuals with formed opinions shaped mostly by our upbringing, it makes the comments and jeers easier to deal with. Not that it should happen, but when it does you know to keep moving forward to what your goal is, from just getting into shape to all out competition.

At the end of the day YOU'RE doing it and they're NOT.

Lift on, these women did...

[caitlinpee]

Honestly I've been overweight, underweight, muscular, etc. People are gonna say something no matter what size you are, so I just tell them to go eat ****. When I was overweight it was "do you really need that extra helping?" lmao. When I was underweight (like 98 lbs or so), it was "do you have an eating disorder? you really don't need to do anymore cardio. here have some more ____". I usually just attack them back somehow, in sarcastic/dry way.

[Naeem11]

I used to be 305lbs......was told I was too big (no ****)....cut to 154, was told I was too small.....bulked to 185, told I was getting fat again.....now cutting again, sitting at 178 and being asked "Why? you look fine?"......no matter your fitness goals, people that don't train or lift don't understand. Now my response is always this, no matter the question....."I know"......no matter what they say, just keep repeating it....works like a charm.

"Why are you trying to lose weight, you look fine".....I know........conversation diffused. I have yet to meet a non-competitive lifter male or female whom I thought was too big. All I see is hard work put in.

[sy2502]

It really comes down to a double standard. Regardless of whether someone likes or dislikes muscle women the real problem is both men and woman seem to think its ok to criticize a woman's looks. Whether its her weight, muscularity or boob size. But very little is every criticized when it comes to men's looks. Not saying it should be either. Its just people think its ok to point out what they don't like on a particular woman's body, but a man they are afraid to say a word against. .

So much truth in this post. I remember growing up, one day my mom told me: 'pay attention to the ads on TV and you'll see most of them are about telling women there's something wrong with them and they should change it'. I did pay attention and it was totally true. Your hair is dull, you have wrinkles, you have hairy legs, you are fat, you aren't sexy enough, you don't wear the right clothes, you need jewelry, you need new shoes, you don't have enough guys after you, you don't smell good...
Instead look at all these guys in the ads: they are ugly, out of shape, with bad hair and bad clothes, useless around their women, dumb as fukk... and they are portrayed as funny and cool to hang out with.
The double standard is pretty strong.

[discdoggie]

I must live on a different planet. 99% of the reactions I get from people are positive. Strangers ask to touch my biceps or look at my six-pack.


ONE TIME (fairly recently) some fat **** at the gym asked if I was on steroids.

I said, "No, but thanks for asking."

[danap3681]

Strangers ask to touch my biceps or look at my six-pack.

I like looking at your 6 pack too. (no homo)

[discdoggie]

I like looking at your 6 pack too. (no homo)

Thanks!

[lilramm]

I must live on a different planet. 99% of the reactions I get from people are positive. Strangers ask to touch my biceps or look at my six-pack.


ONE TIME (fairly recently) some fat **** at the gym asked if I was on steroids.

I said, "No, but thanks for asking."

i've been asked that!! best compliment I've ever received!! and its funny because I'm pretty small....

[sy2502]

i've been asked that!! best compliment I've ever received!! and its funny because I'm pretty small....

LOL same here, and I don't think I am particularly jacked.

[Ma110W]

LOL same here, and I don't think I am particularly jacked.

It's ignorance. I've been asked three times, and I'm not big OR cut. I do take it as a compliment though.

[Ang123]

Oh gawd! I got a so called friend on FB tonight, who has been hinting all summer to date, who is now insulting me for being into bodybuilding and fitness. Of course he is overweight and not doing anything about it.

[Ang123]

I must live on a different planet. 99% of the reactions I get from people are positive. Strangers ask to touch my biceps or look at my six-pack.

I haven't seen your biceps, but you do have some damn nice abs!

[rebeckyt]

So much truth in this post. I remember growing up, one day my mom told me: 'pay attention to the ads on TV and you'll see most of them are about telling women there's something wrong with them and they should change it'. I did pay attention and it was totally true. Your hair is dull, you have wrinkles, you have hairy legs, you are fat, you aren't sexy enough, you don't wear the right clothes, you need jewelry, you need new shoes, you don't have enough guys after you, you don't smell good...
Instead look at all these guys in the ads: they are ugly, out of shape, with bad hair and bad clothes, useless around their women, dumb as fukk... and they are portrayed as funny and cool to hang out with.
The double standard is pretty strong.

All of this is so true. It is in part why I do not watch television, read magazines, or care about the whole celebrity worship thing. I don't give a rats ass what other people think is beautiful. Everyones opinion is different including mine. I love my muscles. I love the look of strong women. I admire the drive and determination it takes to build a strong physique.