The No Contact Thread

[chirashi]

Been to a professional therapist/psychologist twice now.. Made me realize how lonely i am and how much of a desperate kunt i am that i'm craving for friends.. feelsbadman

Glad you decided to go. It's all good man. Recognizing the problem is the first step. Now all you have to do is take steps to overcome it.

Sup everybody?!? See a lot of new posters, haven't been around the past couple months because I've had insane medical issues that hit me out of the blue that no doctor can figure out, but my Ex of 3 years cheated/dumped me about 9 months ago and I went to hell and back through the BU, posted all the time ITT before getting sick.

I found my happiness again through lifting, bettering myself, progressing my career, making new friends, developing a good social life from scratch again, etc. Unfortunately that all went to crap when I was too sick to even continue working. Random burning sensations in feet, bodywide muscle twitching constantly, pupils not dilating sometimes, complete exhaustion, extremities going completely numb, double vision, etc.

Well, going through that and worrying I might die certainly changed my perspective on my Ex, and took my mind off of her COMPLETELY. I've been tested for tons of serious chit that could have caused my symptoms, and everything came back perfect. Docs think it's a freak post viral illness that was kicked off by an inner ear infection, and that I should slowly recover over the next few months, fully.

In the meantime, I've gotten back to working again, still can't do any type of physical exercise without feeling like I'm going to die, so watching years of hard work and gains fade is frustrating as all hell. Aside from that my sickly ass has somehow managed to meet a new girl whilst far as fuark from being in my prime. Everything has been going amazing so far (met her a month ago), she has everything my Ex lacked, likely to be my next GF. Prior my Ex was my first relationship, and I didn't see how anyone could ever compare, but I was more wrong than I ever could have imagined.

So I went from thinking my life was over because of some girl, to working through it on my own, to thinking my life was REALLY over, literally, to now meeting a new girl who seems genuine/loyal/honest, and a million times better than my Ex was. The last year of my life has been a hell of a ride, hoping to only go up from here. The main point of this, I guess, is that your world isn't over, it's just a girl at the end of the day. There's so much more to experience and achieve in life, and things could be so much worse.

Remember that, and don't doubt for a second that you will meet someone else eventually, probably when you LEAST expect it. Don't force it, be patient, and things will turn out just fine. Can't wait to be making my god damn GAINS again in the gym though, and seeing where things go with this new girl. Frustrating to be ridiculously sick for months.

OH, and just to make things more interesting, my Ex has begun trying to reach out to me to get back together when she graduates college in a couple weeks. She dumped me to party and get plowed by frat guys her senior year after cheating on me in Europe, and now that she hasn't met anyone else and realizes she's done with school she wants to "get lunch" after she graduates. She's also reached out to my parents telling them she wants to see everyone. Never thought the day would come when I couldn't care less, but here it is!

Glad to hear you're feeling better. We have a similar time line (9 months NC, 2.5+year relationship) so it's been great to see someone else going through the exact same phases as me. I'm STILL not completely over my ex (she didn't cheat) but I'm definitely in that acceptance stage. It gets much better guys

[DatFatWhale]

Glad you decided to go. It's all good man. Recognizing the problem is the first step. Now all you have to do is take steps to overcome it.



Glad to hear you're feeling better. We have a similar time line (9 months NC, 2.5+year relationship) so it's been great to see someone else going through the exact same phases as me. I'm STILL not completely over my ex (she didn't cheat) but I'm definitely in that acceptance stage. It gets much better guys

I dont know why i'm going to therapy though. When i went today, i had nothing much to talk about cuz i wasnt feeling anything. i had to force myself to tell him stuff even though i already know most of the problems i have. He doesnt really help me or suggest any solution. Its like i have to figure it out myself by talking out loud and hes just there to repeat the question back to me or give minimal feedback. Somehow i know wat my problem is but i can't find a solution for it.. fuarrrrrrrrrrrrrk

[Trueweltall]

Whelp it's been over a year since I broke up with(Got dumped lulz) the girl I should never have dated to begin with. Ol internet search reveals she is dating the then married now divorced guy she fooled around on me with. I had that sick feeling in my stomach when it hit me but logic says what you being a bitch about it for? She is dating a divorced guy who has to pay child support(I think). Me on the other hand I am still single but I have been man-whoring it and honestly have no regrets. I have a few solid female friends that I can **** and hang out with when the need hits. I can't see myself dating anyone seriously anymore unless its an open relationship, not caring about who is ****ing who takes a lot of negative feelings out of relationships for me.

[RedIndian1]

So glad i found this thread- you guys are all awesome, thanks for your input and reasoning. Wish I'd seen it when i just broke up.
Finally woke up today and realised I don't care half as much. Maybe i do but i dont realise it anymore. I'm not even angry- **** happens, maybe it's for the best. Miss being in a relationship but definitely not gonna jump back into one. And I've never shown any resentment towards her apart from ignoring that message so if she actually wanted to contact me she will try again. If not, her loss. Got an interview for grad school,hitting the gym hard again after slacking in the relationship and somehow things are starting to look up again despite there being little change- just a different perspective I guess.

[Fon7ana]

Sup everybody?!? See a lot of new posters, haven't been around the past couple months because I've had insane medical issues that hit me out of the blue that no doctor can figure out, but my Ex of 3 years cheated/dumped me about 9 months ago and I went to hell and back through the BU, posted all the time ITT before getting sick.

I found my happiness again through lifting, bettering myself, progressing my career, making new friends, developing a good social life from scratch again, etc. Unfortunately that all went to crap when I was too sick to even continue working. Random burning sensations in feet, bodywide muscle twitching constantly, pupils not dilating sometimes, complete exhaustion, extremities going completely numb, double vision, etc.

Well, going through that and worrying I might die certainly changed my perspective on my Ex, and took my mind off of her COMPLETELY. I've been tested for tons of serious chit that could have caused my symptoms, and everything came back perfect. Docs think it's a freak post viral illness that was kicked off by an inner ear infection, and that I should slowly recover over the next few months, fully.

In the meantime, I've gotten back to working again, still can't do any type of physical exercise without feeling like I'm going to die, so watching years of hard work and gains fade is frustrating as all hell. Aside from that my sickly ass has somehow managed to meet a new girl whilst far as fuark from being in my prime. Everything has been going amazing so far (met her a month ago), she has everything my Ex lacked, likely to be my next GF. Prior my Ex was my first relationship, and I didn't see how anyone could ever compare, but I was more wrong than I ever could have imagined.

So I went from thinking my life was over because of some girl, to working through it on my own, to thinking my life was REALLY over, literally, to now meeting a new girl who seems genuine/loyal/honest, and a million times better than my Ex was. The last year of my life has been a hell of a ride, hoping to only go up from here. The main point of this, I guess, is that your world isn't over, it's just a girl at the end of the day. There's so much more to experience and achieve in life, and things could be so much worse.

Remember that, and don't doubt for a second that you will meet someone else eventually, probably when you LEAST expect it. Don't force it, be patient, and things will turn out just fine. Can't wait to be making my god damn GAINS again in the gym though, and seeing where things go with this new girl. Frustrating to be ridiculously sick for months.

OH, and just to make things more interesting, my Ex has begun trying to reach out to me to get back together when she graduates college in a couple weeks. She dumped me to party and get plowed by frat guys her senior year after cheating on me in Europe, and now that she hasn't met anyone else and realizes she's done with school she wants to "get lunch" after she graduates. She's also reached out to my parents telling them she wants to see everyone. Never thought the day would come when I couldn't care less, but here it is!

So glad i found this thread- you guys are all awesome, thanks for your input and reasoning. Wish I'd seen it when i just broke up.
Finally woke up today and realised I don't care half as much. Maybe i do but i dont realise it anymore. I'm not even angry- **** happens, maybe it's for the best. Miss being in a relationship but definitely not gonna jump back into one. And I've never shown any resentment towards her apart from ignoring that message so if she actually wanted to contact me she will try again. If not, her loss. Got an interview for grad school,hitting the gym hard again after slacking in the relationship and somehow things are starting to look up again despite there being little change- just a different perspective I guess.

[Horsepower29]

2nd day of NC... she texted me yesterday that she really wants me to keep talking to her and hanging out with her. Didn't respond... I felt so ****ing sad tonight while clubbing though. Started strong but after some quite heavy drinking, I noticed that there was no girl in there that attracted me like my ex. I really miss her.

[chirashi]

2nd day of NC... she texted me yesterday that she really wants me to keep talking to her and hanging out with her. Didn't respond... I felt so ****ing sad tonight while clubbing though. Started strong but after some quite heavy drinking, I noticed that there was no girl in there that attracted me like my ex. I really miss her.

Its normal to feel this way early on. It'll get better. Also, I would stay away from alcohol. It amplifies the bad feelings like no other. Good luck

[ClearSmoke]

Its normal to feel this way early on. It'll get better. Also, I would stay away from alcohol. It amplifies the bad feelings like no other. Good luck

maybe but is been my best friend. when im having one of thoughs ****ty days i crave deserts wines cause their sweet and candy i dunno why but i just crave sweets. i just came back from getting both. planning on disappearing tonight or 2moro. i feel better in the moment like **** after.

[admles]

Just popping in to see how everyone is doing.

Been seeing a counselor for 2 months now, and it's really made a major help.

I've learned that I didn't do anything wrong, and that all I should worry about is my happiness.

It's so good to just talk to an outsider, who listens, and gives advice and comments. I'm coming up on 4 months NC from my side, and over 3 months NC from her side.

I'm a lot happier, healthier, and keep looking forward.

Yeah, I still have bad days, when I miss her, but they are fewer and further between.

So, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel brothers, you just have to move towards it, slowly.

Hope you're all getting on

[ClearSmoke]

2nd day of NC... she texted me yesterday that she really wants me to keep talking to her and hanging out with her. Didn't respond... I felt so ****ing sad tonight while clubbing though. Started strong but after some quite heavy drinking, I noticed that there was no girl in there that attracted me like my ex. I really miss her.

trust me bro what your missing isnt the looks its the face associated with the personality is what your missing. nearly 8 months now and ive seen plenty of hot chicks but the their personality and their behavior just rubs me the wrong way.

[xenochimera]

doing so well and now not so well anymore..eh hopefully this too while pass

[skinnykant]

Just popping in to see how everyone is doing.

Been seeing a counselor for 2 months now, and it's really made a major help.

I've learned that I didn't do anything wrong, and that all I should worry about is my happiness.

It's so good to just talk to an outsider, who listens, and gives advice and comments. I'm coming up on 4 months NC from my side, and over 3 months NC from her side.

I'm a lot happier, healthier, and keep looking forward.

Yeah, I still have bad days, when I miss her, but they are fewer and further between.

So, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel brothers, you just have to move towards it, slowly.

Hope you're all getting on

Awesome man Ive seen you on here before, I think you had one of the toughest break ups, glad to hear you're feeling better

[skinnykant]

So I finished my exams this week and my brahs came to visit me/go out/get drunk. I had been feeling pretty good about things and hadnt been thinking of my ex. We went out clubbing last night. Approached a few girls, was having some fun. My friend and I approached these 2 girls, started chatting/flirting with them. When I told them where we were from one of them screamed with delight and said "oh no way my roomrate is from there, her name is skinnkants ex's name, do you know her?"

My heart just sank. . I didnt know what to say. I just mumbled oh yeah I think I know of her. The girl wouldnt shut up then, she was like "oh you must know her, she's really pretty and hot, all the guys from our college want to get with her, she can get any guy she wants"
I was just winded, I didnt want to be hearing this at all. I just made up some excuse and left. Felt chitty the whole night and Ive been thinking about my ex a lot this morning. Daim sloot seems to haunt me wherever I go.

Any advice on what I should have said/how I should have acted?

[xenochimera]

So I finished my exams this week and my brahs came to visit me/go out/get drunk. I had been feeling pretty good about things and hadnt been thinking of my ex. We went out clubbing last night. Approached a few girls, was having some fun. My friend and I approached these 2 girls, started chatting/flirting with them. When I told them where we were from one of them screamed with delight and said "oh no way my roomrate is from there, her name is skinnkants ex's name, do you know her?"

My heart just sank. . I didnt know what to say. I just mumbled oh yeah I think I know of her. The girl wouldnt shut up then, she was like "oh you must know her, she's really pretty and hot, all the guys from our college want to get with her, she can get any guy she wants"
I was just winded, I didnt want to be hearing this at all. I just made up some excuse and left. Felt chitty the whole night and Ive been thinking about my ex a lot this morning. Daim sloot seems to haunt me wherever I go.

Any advice on what I should have said/how I should have acted?

damn brah thats rough, i wouldve played it cool and tried to hook up with one of those girls but if you feel like chit after hearing that nobody can blame you for how you feel. just understand it is ok to feel like crap, i do right now, i am sure she is happy and most likely does not give a flying phuck about me but i know that this too will pass. i heard this song while watching oblivion and the lyrics stuck to me "breathe in the light and say goodbye", and that's what we need to do, just let go of these fading memories from another life.

[Zigoz]

Hows everyone doing? It's been 4 months now of NC? I think.. Around there? Last I heard she was now in a relationship with this guy. Don't really care much anymore.

Real talk though. Having her break my heart had to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. (100% serious) I actually hope everyone in their life gets their heart ripped out of them, as it makes you such a stronger person. I'm looking forward towards my next one (Kinda)

[rich06]

Yo everyone! I love this thread
No contact starts Naaaaaaaaaaow. And it hurts like a bitch. I felt like I was mean to my girl and ended it. But truth is she had me by the balls and wasn't bothered about me, made me a shell of who I am and treated me like dirt. So I had to do it to regain some self-respect.
BRB live alone with too much time to think
Am I gonna make it?

[skinnykant]

damn brah thats rough, i wouldve played it cool and tried to hook up with one of those girls but if you feel like chit after hearing that nobody can blame you for how you feel. just understand it is ok to feel like crap, i do right now, i am sure she is happy and most likely does not give a flying phuck about me but i know that this too will pass. i heard this song while watching oblivion and the lyrics stuck to me "breathe in the light and say goodbye", and that's what we need to do, just let go of these fading memories from another life.

Thanks brah, yeah I found it hard to make a move after hearing that. Just threw me off.

[ClearSmoke]

Yo everyone! I love this thread
No contact starts Naaaaaaaaaaow. And it hurts like a bitch. I felt like I was mean to my girl and ended it. But truth is she had me by the balls and wasn't bothered about me, made me a shell of who I am and treated me like dirt. So I had to do it to regain some self-respect.
BRB live alone with too much time to think
Am I gonna make it?

no homo but some of you guys are ****in hot abs chest body fat around 9-12% how a girl leaves you guys is so ****ed. isnt that what they dream about they wished their man looked like. another thing why do ppl always seem to downgrade 90% of the time a specially if they cheat or hurt their loved 1? i never understood why leave something great for temporary bliss just to be hurt later or bored.

[Xaviesta11]

After 4 month NC my ex liked my pictures on Instagram, misc, I am tempted to follow back....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

[xenochimera]

After 4 month NC my ex liked my pictures on Instagram, misc, I am tempted to follow back....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

negative ghost rider, do not engage

[xenochimera]

Just popping in to see how everyone is doing.

Been seeing a counselor for 2 months now, and it's really made a major help.

I've learned that I didn't do anything wrong, and that all I should worry about is my happiness.

It's so good to just talk to an outsider, who listens, and gives advice and comments. I'm coming up on 4 months NC from my side, and over 3 months NC from her side.

I'm a lot happier, healthier, and keep looking forward.

Yeah, I still have bad days, when I miss her, but they are fewer and further between.

So, there IS a light at the end of the tunnel brothers, you just have to move towards it, slowly.

Hope you're all getting on

glad to see you are doing well! its been such a roller coaster for me lately, i think i should just go somewhere unfamiliar to refresh my mind and what not.

[walshyn93]

Been no contact since December(kinda)*. Broke up with gf around this time last year but started smashing in the summer and then again in December. Bad idea because I started getting feelings again and started wanting to get back together but didn't push it because I could sense that she didn't want to because she had just started college and, well, you know the rest. Got insanely jealous when I found out she had been with someone else months after we broke up and those feelings weren't healthy and didn't want to get back into a relationship and be jealous all the time.

*Broke the no contact before I knew what no contact was about a month after we last saw each other with a text to which she responded but when I found out she wasn't in town I didn't text her back to smash.

Been no contact since and have been helping a friend get through a breakup lately which brings up all these feeling again I need to get rid of. Still feel lonely from time to time and not getting laid at all because I live at home. I know getting laid with someone else won't make a difference at all because it didn't the last time we broke up. Getting a job didn't help last time either. Have made incredible muscle gains and that kind of helps, but not really. Don't know when, if ever, I'm going to be able to see her and not feel anything. Falling in love with someone else seems like the only way to really put her in the past, but at the same time I shouldn't be in a relationship right now because I'm finding it so hard to trust girls in general. Especially given my relationshipbrahs have plenty of drama with girls being untrustworthy.


EDIT: anyone have any advice for me other than keep up the no contact? The thing is, eventually I'll see her in a nightclub or something, so when that happens I need to be over her or else the last few month of progress will be pretty much undone.

[Xaviesta11]

negative ghost rider, do not engage

Thanks man, I did not follow back.

[CmC520]

My birthday is tomorrow.. Awaiting the arrival of the ex text...

[bertishere]

Thanks man, I did not follow back.

good.

i gotta confess, get it off my chest.

- ex broke up with me end of jan
- poured my heart out like a beta that i was at the time
- was NC until april.. my friend sat with her on the train and told me (they didn't talk). brought back memories and i texted her saying "you just sat beside my best friend on the train"
- talked for a bit bout life, told her what was going on with my family and myself (she genuinely cared and so she asked)
- went back into NC mode and ignored her last message.
- had surgery, she texted me day of "good luck, hope it goes well"
- i ignored
- next day, "how are you feeling?"
- i ignored
- 5 days later.. "so you're gonna ignore me?"

- I SHOULD HAVE ****ING IGNORED BUT I'M A DUMBASS. i said "are you serious?" (because i was getting annoyed) and we had a little chat which did not end well at all.

back on NO FCKN CONTACT. it just sucks because she was my best friend before our relationship and losing a friend + someone you love is fckin hard. but i can honestly say with 100% certainty that i am over her. even though she pops into my head on a daily basis, i don't even give a fck and dont get sad over it like i did a few months ago.

been going out a lot, seeing new girls and life is okay. would be better if i could walk and do activities.

[ODbrah]

I've posted here before but let me give you guys some cliff updates

-Broke up in January
-Went NC for 4 months
-Texted like 2-3 weeks ago that hoe that i got into grad school full ride on a scholarship
-she didnt respond, i dont care

Basically letting her subconscious know that any guy after me is a downgrade lulz

regardless ex was full of daddy issues etc

lol she cheated on me with some kid in high school from her work.

Now i'm single, with a good future and facial aesthetics coming out for the first time in years (finally doing a cut after college lol)

[rich06]

no homo but some of you guys are ****in hot abs chest body fat around 9-12% how a girl leaves you guys is so ****ed. isnt that what they dream about they wished their man looked like. another thing why do ppl always seem to downgrade 90% of the time a specially if they cheat or hurt their loved 1? i never understood why leave something great for temporary bliss just to be hurt later or bored.

Thanks ClearSmoke. I feel like I've lost my best friend and am gonna be foreveralone. She is a co-worker/teammate so gonna be strange. But she turned me into some ******* that is more emotionally invested x1million. She gots that princess mentality. Need to tell myself it was the right thing to do and I will slowly become myself again.

[Forgotten18]

Been weakening the past few days. God damn dreams and memories and things holding me down. Getting close to breaking no contact, it's been 2 months. Suggestions to stay strong?

[admles]

Awesome man Ive seen you on here before, I think you had one of the toughest break ups, glad to hear you're feeling better

glad to see you are doing well! its been such a roller coaster for me lately, i think i should just go somewhere unfamiliar to refresh my mind and what not.

Thanks guys

Been weakening the past few days. God damn dreams and memories and things holding me down. Getting close to breaking no contact, it's been 2 months. Suggestions to stay strong?

Don't do it bro, DON'T!

You won't get better if you contact her again, trust me, it just resets your progress! Get out there and do something, play a game, ANYTHING, but DO NOT CONTACT HER! Two months is good, really good!

[xenochimera]

I've posted here before but let me give you guys some cliff updates

-Broke up in January
-Went NC for 4 months
-Texted like 2-3 weeks ago that hoe that i got into grad school full ride on a scholarship
-she didnt respond, i dont care

Basically letting her subconscious know that any guy after me is a downgrade lulz

regardless ex was full of daddy issues etc

lol she cheated on me with some kid in high school from her work.

Now i'm single, with a good future and facial aesthetics coming out for the first time in years (finally doing a cut after college lol)

that is pretty funny brah, i too got into grad school, and it wont cost me a cent in tuition. its weird, the chick i fell for was pretty ambitious, talked about graduate education and careers n chit while we dated, now she just works some hourly type position that wont utilize an ounce of what she learned, probably same for new SO too lol