The No Contact Thread

[FattyMcTubbs]

Im going to take my time, problem is my ex works for the same company as I so we are going to run into each other. Im going to keep it civil and not start any chit. Still sucks though cause she broke up with me over text, very cowardly thing to do IMO. She should have done it to my face, she owed me that after all these years.

There's something she's not telling you.
Cowardly, yeah, but she's been planning this for a while and doing it in person might've stopped her from going through with it.

[turbodiesel_kai]

There's something she's not telling you.
Cowardly, yeah, but she's been planning this for a while and doing it in person might've stopped her from going through with it.

there's always something they're not telling... eventually they might come out with it months later if you still have any communication at that point. as much as they stress "communication" it's pretty rare that they will actually tell you what their main issues are when y ou still have a chance to fix them.
As in, who ends a relationship becuse "i don't feel the same way anymore". OK great.. .but why don't y ou feel the same way? what were you holding in for the past several months that made you feel that way?

[Swoldierz]

New boyfriend confirmed....and you are meeting her why..?

Well thats what this other chick told me and showed me some pics but didnt say when they were from.
So went and saw her she gets in the car gives me a hug like WTF
Hit her up why you wanting to see me when you dating another guy
said she was single, her and the guy aint dating
The meet up was so she could give me some closure to what she did to me, she told me to ask her whatever i wanted to MIND GOES BLANK FML!! But i guess it was good to have her explain that she has personal issues.

NOT SURE IF SRS tho. But i guess its better than nothing

[nightmare69]

I feel you on that one bro. I got it over ******** IM because "she could express herself better". Ironically enough she also works at my job, but I highly doubt when she comes home for the summer that she'll actually come back.

I don't know if she is going to stay, I got her the job out here and she has only been working here for a month. This new guy runs his family's company and he is gone out of state alot, makes good money but this is the reason his first wife left cause she was lonely. I know once he is gone she will contact me and I know I should tell her to fuk off if she shows up at my door but part of me wants to use her for sex and then kick her out. Hard to turn a girl down who wants to smash.

I know I shouldn't but this ******* stole her away from me then calls me on her phone after she sent the break up text and told me not to call or text her anymore. I told him "it didn't bother you to call, text, and meetup with her when she was my g/f so why should I do what you want" I hung up after saying that. Really rustled my jimmies.

ugh that's the worst... see my posts about working with my ex. fukking sucks even though we are civil and friendly still. She also vaguely ended it via text after a year and a half.. never really came out and said it, just thought I should "pick up what she was trying to say".

I don't think she was even going to tell me. We had plans to go to a family BBQ later that afternoon and I text her asking if she was still going. She text me back *me staying home* I asked her why and she responded *me with adam* after that he called on her phone and she sent a bunch of text saying she has feelings for him and for me to give them a chance. I never responded.

There's something she's not telling you.
Cowardly, yeah, but she's been planning this for a while and doing it in person might've stopped her from going through with it.

I know this has been going on for awhile. Its for the best though cause its alot easier to walk out of a relationship than a marriage, Im so glad I never knocked her up and have to deal with child support.

[AppsBrah]

Dat feel when you talk for 3 months daily (as friends) to a chick online and suddenly 5 days before the meetup she ignores you completely.

Women have no respect man, whether it's as gf/bf or as friends, fukking losing all emotions I have left. I'm starting to get how some guys can just use women for sex and not feel even a little bad about it.



Also, dat feel when you know your ex will contact you sooner or later cause she's an immature mindplaying bitch.

[Dizzie38]

Dat feel when you talk for 3 months daily (as friends) to a chick online and suddenly 5 days before the meetup she ignores you completely.

Women have no respect man, whether it's as gf/bf or as friends, fukking losing all emotions I have left. I'm starting to get how some guys can just use women for sex and not feel even a little bad about it.



Also, dat feel when you know your ex will contact you sooner or later cause she's an immature mindplaying bitch.

Stay strong brother.

[FattyMcTubbs]

there's always something they're not telling... eventually they might come out with it months later if you still have any communication at that point. as much as they stress "communication" it's pretty rare that they will actually tell you what their main issues are when y ou still have a chance to fix them.
As in, who ends a relationship becuse "i don't feel the same way anymore". OK great.. .but why don't y ou feel the same way? what were you holding in for the past several months that made you feel that way?

Yeah. I was very clear about the issues I had when we were together. I just found out about the stuff that bothered her, within the past 2 weeks.
In the end, the way she's been since the break up makes me realize this is not someone I want to be associated with in any way. The most emotionally fukked and inconsiderate person I've come across.

[admles]

there's always something they're not telling... eventually they might come out with it months later if you still have any communication at that point. as much as they stress "communication" it's pretty rare that they will actually tell you what their main issues are when y ou still have a chance to fix them.
As in, who ends a relationship becuse "i don't feel the same way anymore". OK great.. .but why don't y ou feel the same way? what were you holding in for the past several months that made you feel that way?

That's what mine did, she said "it doesn't feel the same anymore".

It's always a thing with her, even her friends told me - she never deals with her problems, she just tries to ignore them, and lets them go on and on, and then just moves on to something else instead of fixing the problem.

[nightmare69]

Is it wrong to keep a ex around just for a booty call, even if she has a new b/f? I know its wrong but this ******* stole her from me and I've always been a bit vindictive. No way would I take her back but its hard to turn down a free smash.

[ClearSmoke]

It's possible because ending a relationship is rarely spontaneous. The person doing the ending has had plenty of time to grieve before they tell you it is done. They get distant, change their routine. They stop doing things with you that used to your bonding experience...

In other words, she got over you before she even told you.

This is so true when we broke up she said she’s been thinking about it for 4 months LIKE WTF. I was sad yes but pissed that she didn’t tell me. She said she just woke up one day and felt different as though she didn’t love me and didn’t want it to be true so she thought it was in her head and would get better. She has gone through a lot in those 4 months with work school dad being sick but I supported her no matter what. What makes me feel disgusted though is that we continued to make love and say I love you and it was all lies. At least if she said what was wrong and we could fix it id be happy with the break up not this mystery on where we went wrong and have no answer still all she could say I dunno why, wow.

[chirashi]

Is it wrong to keep a ex around just for a booty call, even if she has a new b/f? I know its wrong but this ******* stole her from me and I've always been a bit vindictive. No way would I take her back but its hard to turn down a free smash.

You're just asking for trouble. Why not un-complicate things. Go for a single girl that you have no history with. He may have stole her from you but its bad karma to mess with other peoples' relationships. That, and you probably have feelings for the girl.

[AppsBrah]

This is so true when we broke up she said she’s been thinking about it for 4 months LIKE WTF. I was sad yes but pissed that she didn’t tell me. She said she just woke up one day and felt different as though she didn’t love me and didn’t want it to be true so she thought it was in her head and would get better. She has gone through a lot in those 4 months with work school dad being sick but I supported her no matter what. What makes me feel disgusted though is that we continued to make love and say I love you and it was all lies. At least if she said what was wrong and we could fix it id be happy with the break up not this mystery on where we went wrong and have no answer still all she could say I dunno why, wow.

Not saying she did the right thing, but don't underestimate her point of view. She already had alot of stress so you relationship was probably one of the few good/stable things in her life.

When one person in the relationship says he/she has doubts or is not sure about loving the other etc, it always brings stress. If I already had alot of stuff going in on and I felt this way I probably would have waited too, just to be sure it wasn't temporary. Everyone has these doubts once in a while in a relationship, better to make sure it's for real than awaring your partner every x months/years.

But I do agree that you need to say it before you really end it, so the other person is able to work on the issue(s) if he/she wants to.

[atarisboy86]

Hi everyone, I've been reading this thread (only on page 21) but wanted to post and say thank you to all of you for your stories and advice. It has made NC easier.

Cliffs:
On and off with girl for 2 years

There was shady behavior on her part from the beginning

She always breaks it off and I'd take her back after she was done having her fun

Emailed me last Thursday requesting I not call her and she is now with someone "she is planning a future with" after we had an in person argument because I stupidly met up to "try and be friends" (her idea)

I wake up to a text sent at 3 am saying "Are you up I know we aren't talking, but I need someone." DELETE

This is day 6 for me and I will not break. I've equated talking to her is the same as not going to the gym and eating unhealthy. It will NOT happen.

[admles]

This is so true when we broke up she said she’s been thinking about it for 4 months LIKE WTF. I was sad yes but pissed that she didn’t tell me. She said she just woke up one day and felt different as though she didn’t love me and didn’t want it to be true so she thought it was in her head and would get better. She has gone through a lot in those 4 months with work school dad being sick but I supported her no matter what. What makes me feel disgusted though is that we continued to make love and say I love you and it was all lies. At least if she said what was wrong and we could fix it id be happy with the break up not this mystery on where we went wrong and have no answer still all she could say I dunno why, wow.

When I went to visit my ex, and she was going to break up with me, we still made love - twice - on the first day. After finding out how she was feeling, I also felt disgusted. Here I had been, finally in the arms of my beloved after months part, expressing my love, and she as only doing it because she she hadn't thought of a way to bring it up yet. :/

[DatFatWhale]

So life's back to normal before i met her.. Forever alone doing shiit by myself and no one to hang out with. Feels lonely as fuark man
I guess i'm not as introverted as i thought i am cuz i enjoyed going out with her and her friends. Even though i'm cool with her friends, they dont ask me to go out with them because its her friends and usually she's there when they go out. Bored outta my mind and she's constantly on my mind. I'll get over her soon they say.. its been almost 6 weeks and i'm still going through storm of feels. My 1st relationship was a year and i didnt even have this much feels.. while this one was only 3 months.. Fuarrrrrrrrk

[Saragde]

Long story short.. ex after a month or so contacted me to ask some random stuff about bank.. tried to initiate conversation,but sadly the guy he left is gone by now. Guys c'mon what's the point of showing low which is non-sense for your loved one? Let them bleed now..

[FootballRR]

What's up brahs! It's been awhile since I've posted in here. It's been nearly 4 months since me and my fiancé broke up. Everything has been going fine up until the last 2 weeks. She's been constantly on my mid and I've even been having dreams about her every night. It's rather depressing. Idk why all if a sudden I've been thinking of her lately. I do kiss her though and I loved her very much. She just wasn't the same girl I fell in love with anymore.

It literally brings me to tears at night every time I think of her and how special she was to me. I not only lost a great lover, I lost my best friend. I've been so anti social the last 4 months it's ridiculous. All I do is work, lift, and sleep. Idk how to beat these bad feels I've been feeling over the last 2 weeks. Fuk brahs, it's rough. It really is. Staying strong on no contact though. Hopefully it will pass.

[Tony_S]

What's up brahs! It's been awhile since I've posted in here. It's been nearly 4 months since me and my fiancé broke up. Everything has been going fine up until the last 2 weeks. She's been constantly on my mid and I've even been having dreams about her every night. It's rather depressing. Idk why all if a sudden I've been thinking of her lately. I do kiss her though and I loved her very much. She just wasn't the same girl I fell in love with anymore.

It literally brings me to tears at night every time I think of her and how special she was to me. I not only lost a great lover, I lost my best friend. I've been so anti social the last 4 months it's ridiculous. All I do is work, lift, and sleep. Idk how to beat these bad feels I've been feeling over the last 2 weeks. Fuk brahs, it's rough. It really is. Staying strong on no contact though. Hopefully it will pass.

4 months? and now you're breaking down? don't take steps backwards. she's gone. people change and she changed into someone else. the old person u loved is gone. you're 21. stop holding on to something that's not there and enjoy your life and freedom.

[FootballRR]

4 months? and now you're breaking down? don't take steps backwards. she's gone. people change and she changed into someone else. the old person u loved is gone. you're 21. stop holding on to something that's not there and enjoy your life and freedom.

Yeah man, I don't understand why I'm breaking down now. I mean, I've had my days before where is think of her, but after a day or so I'd be fine. But all of a sudden the depression has been terrible the last 2 weeks. She's constantly on my mind. I try an go lift to not think about her, and boom! Right after I'm done lifting, them bad feels show back up. Hopefully it's just a little slip up. Thank god I'm leaving for the Airforce in November. That should help me move forward with my life. I'm not saying I'm not moving forward now, but this Gould definitely help me really move on from this. It's true when they say you never love someone as much as your first true love...

Love is one hell of a drug.

[chirashi]

Yeah man, I don't understand why I'm breaking down now. I mean, I've had my days before where is think of her, but after a day or so I'd be fine. But all of a sudden the depression has been terrible the last 2 weeks. She's constantly on my mind. I try an go lift to not think about her, and boom! Right after I'm done lifting, them bad feels show back up. Hopefully it's just a little slip up. Thank god I'm leaving for the Airforce in November. That should help me move forward with my life. I'm not saying I'm not moving forward now, but this Gould definitely help me really move on from this. It's true when they say you never love someone as much as your first true love...

Love is one hell of a drug.

Know these feels. It's definitely a roller coaster. You can go a few weeks/months without thinking about her then you see something that triggers the memories in your head and it starts all over. With time, the down days start getting rarer and eventually they disappear all together. 8 months NC here, have my down days every now and then but no where near as bad as the first few months.

[BabyDaddy91]

Brahs, I really need someone to talk to, someone PM me, it's more serious than most of this thread

[nightmare69]

Ex and I met up so mainly I could get some closer after 6yrs. This girl was also my HS sweetheart btw, we met when we were 15yrs old and broke up after HS and ran into each other 4yrs later, up till Saturday been dating ever since, long history. Anyways I feel alot better even though she looked like hell and cried a few times. I let her know that there is no way in hell we could get back together and she understood. We talk for about 20mins and then I went off to the gym. She said she was getting bored with me cause I never took her out anymore. I still took her out just not near as much, Im pushing 30 and trying to save for a house so I stopped going out every weekend and blowing my paycheck.

I didn't like 1 of her friends and this was a factor also. This thing was a huge slut who has 2 kids by 2 different guys, no job, no car, lives with her dad, and is on welfare. She also had her kids taken away by CPS and just got them back last month. I did not like nor trust this whore cause she would use my ex as her free taxi cab to go meet her guy friends.

NC would not work for us cause we work for the same company and we run into each other daily. Also even though she ripped my heart out I will always have feeling for her cause she was my first in alot of things(g/f, kiss, sex, love) ect. Im too old for games and I feel that acting like she don't exist to me anymore is immature. Would I take her back if she asked? No, that ship has sailed and we had too many problems for me to ever consider getting back with her.

I hate the idea of having to start over but I got too. I would rather chew nails then have to start dating again but I would like a family before Im 40.

[admles]

Yeah man, I don't understand why I'm breaking down now. I mean, I've had my days before where is think of her, but after a day or so I'd be fine. But all of a sudden the depression has been terrible the last 2 weeks. She's constantly on my mind. I try an go lift to not think about her, and boom! Right after I'm done lifting, them bad feels show back up. Hopefully it's just a little slip up. Thank god I'm leaving for the Airforce in November. That should help me move forward with my life. I'm not saying I'm not moving forward now, but this Gould definitely help me really move on from this. It's true when they say you never love someone as much as your first true love...

Love is one hell of a drug.

Probably because you didn't really accept it until now. I was able to keep fairly strong for a bit, until I accepted she had already moved on.

Everything you're feeling is perfectly normal, she'll be on your mind constantly.

Other times you'll be doing fine, then BOOM! out of nowhere, it hits you and you break down.

Just keep up the NC, keep busy, and take baby steps forward.

All the best man.

[UAGreg]

Hey guys - hope everyone is doing well.

Hard to believe that it's been 6 months since this thread was started.

I've been no contact with my ex for almost three months now. I won't lie, I still think about her pretty much everyday, but it doesn't bother me like it used to, if that makes sense. It's mostly wondering what she's doing, and how everything is going for her. When we broke up, I felt it was best to delete all social media, but I'm thinking about adding her on ******** again.

Good idea, bad idea?

[admles]

Hey guys - hope everyone is doing well.

Hard to believe that it's been 6 months since this thread was started.

I've been no contact with my ex for almost three months now. I won't lie, I still think about her pretty much everyday, but it doesn't bother me like it used to, if that makes sense. It's mostly wondering what she's doing, and how everything is going for her. When we broke up, I felt it was best to delete all social media, but I'm thinking about adding her on ******** again.

Good idea, bad idea?

Bad idea, IMHO.

You'll be tempted to look at her profile, and that will just set you back. Stick with the NC.

You're not her friend anymore, don't so don't add her on FB.

[Shak3401]

Ok heres my story and if people give their opinion i will rep.

So me and my gf of about 8 months had a mutual breakup around january because we were constantly fighting. I think the constant fighting was because she got a second job and was working around 70 hours a week and was always tired or moody. Anyways i did no contact even when she would txt me here and there well last week after about 4-5 months of absolutly no contact she added me on ******** again. I accepted and we started talking. Well we decided to catch up and yeah well we had sex a few times this week. We have been txting and hanging out with no fighting and it seems like things just went back to how they used to when we first started dating. So i guess heres my question. Have any of you ever gotten back with an ex and it actually worked out? The other day i just remember her laying down next to me sleeping and im thinking wtf am i doing.I want to be with her again and i know she feels the same way i just don't know if it is a good idea or not. Maybe it could work out this time? Or maybe we will have the same results? Idk brahs i am confused.

[UAGreg]

Ok heres my story and if people give their opinion i will rep.

So me and my gf of about 8 months had a mutual breakup around january because we were constantly fighting. I think the constant fighting was because she got a second job and was working around 70 hours a week and was always tired or moody. Anyways i did no contact even when she would txt me here and there well last week after about 4-5 months of absolutly no contact she added me on ******** again. I accepted and we started talking. Well we decided to catch up and yeah well we had sex a few times this week. We have been txting and hanging out with no fighting and it seems like things just went back to how they used to when we first started dating. So i guess heres my question. Have any of you ever gotten back with an ex and it actually worked out? The other day i just remember her laying down next to me sleeping and im thinking wtf am i doing.I want to be with her again and i know she feels the same way i just don't know if it is a good idea or not. Maybe it could work out this time? Or maybe we will have the same results? Idk brahs i am confused.

Is she still working 70 hours a week?

[admles]

Ok heres my story and if people give their opinion i will rep.

So me and my gf of about 8 months had a mutual breakup around january because we were constantly fighting. I think the constant fighting was because she got a second job and was working around 70 hours a week and was always tired or moody. Anyways i did no contact even when she would txt me here and there well last week after about 4-5 months of absolutly no contact she added me on ******** again. I accepted and we started talking. Well we decided to catch up and yeah well we had sex a few times this week. We have been txting and hanging out with no fighting and it seems like things just went back to how they used to when we first started dating. So i guess heres my question. Have any of you ever gotten back with an ex and it actually worked out? The other day i just remember her laying down next to me sleeping and im thinking wtf am i doing.I want to be with her again and i know she feels the same way i just don't know if it is a good idea or not. Maybe it could work out this time? Or maybe we will have the same results? Idk brahs i am confused.

If it's going to work, you'll need to talk about the issues that broke you up in the first place, and why they were issues.

Else, you're just setting yourself up to repeat the same cycle.

Good luck.

[FootballRR]

Probably because you didn't really accept it until now. I was able to keep fairly strong for a bit, until I accepted she had already moved on.

Everything you're feeling is perfectly normal, she'll be on your mind constantly.

Other times you'll be doing fine, then BOOM! out of nowhere, it hits you and you break down.

Just keep up the NC, keep busy, and take baby steps forward.

All the best man.

Thanks man! You hit it spot on. I don't think I ever really accepted it. It kind of feels like my life in general has been in a state of limbo. I mean, you get sinuses to someone being there for 2 years and all of a sudden they're not there anymore is a drastic change.

You're right Brah! I'll be perfectly gone, then all of a sudden I'll be overwhelmed with emotion cause something triggers a memory of us or something along those lines. It sucks dude. I'll always love her and she'll always have a special place in my heart, but at this time in our lives, we're not meant for each other. I just wish I could forget about everything and be happy again. Wishful thinking. Haha.

[admles]

Thanks man! You hit it spot on. I don't think I ever really accepted it. It kind of feels like my life in general has been in a state of limbo. I mean, you get sinuses to someone being there for 2 years and all of a sudden they're not there anymore is a drastic change.

You're right Brah! I'll be perfectly gone, then all of a sudden I'll be overwhelmed with emotion cause something triggers a memory of us or something along those lines. It sucks dude. I'll always love her and she'll always have a special place in my heart, but at this time in our lives, we're not meant for each other. I just wish I could forget about everything and be happy again. Wishful thinking. Haha.

The story of man is the story of a string of breakups. We all think our situation is differente, but in truth, women are the same the world over, and do the things.

There will be times when you question what you did wrong, what's wrong with you, and why she doesn't love you.

Some days you'll be at the top of Everest, others you'll be down in the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Eventually, you'll have more highs, the lows won't be as low.

Day by day, little by little, you will get better. However, it is an active process - you can't sit around and hope you'll get better, you have to work at it.

For me, it's martial arts and lifting that gets me through - find your rock, and keep at it.

And whatever you do, don't make the mistake I did of going to food for comfort.

Yes, I wish I could just forget about my ex-too, but she was too important an even in my life to allow it, so I've just accepted it and kept going forward.