Every journey begins with a single step.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 47: Saturday, Dec.15, 2012

WEIGHT: 145lbs

DIET-
Calories:1055
Protein:136g

Getting my ****t back together.

WORKOUT-
Push workout.


So yeah, haven't updated this for a few days. Made posts for yesterday and Thursday, for the sake of consistency and my OCD. But yeah I guess last weekend wasn't enough, even though I started this week pretty strong I lost sight of my goals/motivation these last couple days. No excuses, I just wanted the food more than I wanted my goals. Lost track of priorities and was unable to restrain myself. So yeah, willpower and motivation need improvement. Really pissed at myself because I'm so far from where I need to be and I don't even know if I can get there by my goal of February now, yet I'm still dickking around and spinning my wheels. I'm where I was at the end of like week 4, and it's nearly week 8. Instead of making progress I'm undoing the progress I've already made. I don't want to look how I do now a year from now, or even 6 months from now, but at this rate that's what's going to happen. Nothing scares me more than that - not making progress. If I'm not improving myself, or even worsening myself, then I'm wasting my time. My time is limited (wanna be improved by my goal time of Juneish), and therefore extremely valuable and I cannot afford to be squandering it like I have my entire life.

Trying not to get too upset about it, because it's done and the only thing I can do about it is look forward from here and move on. I've made this mistake before so I should've learned already, but evidently I didn't. No drastic fasting or anything, but I'll probably drop my calories for the rest of December.


This is a full time commitment, and that's something that should be kept in mind at all times. This isn't something that's only done when motivated or when in the absence of good food or when you feel like working out; this is a LIFESTYLE. You either do or you don't; there is no half-assing it, no inbetween. It's important to remember your macros, caloric deficit, and to lift, but it is infinitely more important to remember that your goals are priority #1 and that you want them more than ANYTHING else. If you forget WHY you're doing it then the means by which you do it are meaningless.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 48: Sunday, Dec.16, 2012

WEIGHT: ~143.5lbs

DIET-
Calories:1250
Protein:121g

Good.

WORKOUT-
Rest.


Feels awesome to be back on track. My weight is almost back down and I'm moving forward once again. Can't believe I ever gave in at all, I guess I just started to remember how real this is and how important to me it is. Motivation is way up, but I know how that can spike so I'll be careful. Motivated or not I'm sticking to it and pushing through to my goals.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 49: Monday, Dec.17, 2012

WEIGHT: ~145lbs

DIET-
Calories:~1400
Protein:130g

Found awesome new foods for cutting. Orange chicken meal things for 310cal and like 17g of protein<3. Also no one awared me that diet Pepsi is 0 calories.... Wtf??! I always thought it was just reduced sugar/caffine/cals but it's actually 0... brbbuyingbfffriendshipbraceletfor24packofdietpepsi .

WORKOUT-
Moderate lifting.

Feeling good. Love how I look after pumped. Noticing some muscle imbalances even lol. Right delt is larger than left, and left tricep (long head mostly) is significantly larger than right. Weird cause my right pectoral seems to be stronger than my left. Too much fapping lol? Can't wait to be bulking and actually gaining muscle. I am very excite. Reallllly just wanna get lean first though.


So yeah, things are looking up. Going to be challenged by the battery of holiday foods, but I'm going to be sure to stay accountable and in a deficit. 18th birthday is coming up soon too, 10 days actually. Funny considering the only thing I want is something that can't be bought lol; fat pls leeveeeeeee. Might actually upload progress pics this week FINALLY, considering this is the first week in a few where I actually made progress.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 50: Tuesday, Dec.18, 2012

WEIGHT: ~143lbs

DIET-
Calories:~1400
Protein:134g

Good day, need to buy more food.

WORKOUT-
Lifted things and then put the back down.

Good day.


So I'm down to 143ish even in the afternoon, which kinda shocked me. Maybe I measured/read something wrong but that seems low. Hoping to be like 141-142 by the end of the week. Feeling much better about how I look, I think it's mostly a placebo effect though. When I'm applying myself and eating well I think I look better than when I'm bingeing like I did last week, even though I'm the same weight. Strong psychological effects. Also I had to double check when I typed it, day 50. wot. Hard to believe it's been 50 DAYS already. A bit disappointed with my progress for this mark, but I'm just going to push forward. Got a long ways to go.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 50: Wednesday, Dec.19, 2012

WEIGHT: 143.5lbs

DIET-
Calories:~1400
Protein:~110g

Meh, didn't track very well because of the foods I ate. Doubt I went over 1400 though.

WORKOUT-
Legs.

Meh.


Alright day. New goal: Be in 130's (at least 139.75lbs) by January. Probably not very realistic but that's what I'm shooting for. Gotta work hard every day and not binge for the holidays. I can do it.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 52: Thursday, Dec.20, 2012

WEIGHT: 141.5lbs

DIET-
Calories:1350
Protein:135g

Still have to eat dinner, but after that those'll be my totals if I don't fuark up.

WORKOUT-
Rest.

zzzzzz.


Saw 141.5 on the scale this morning. Not tooooooo baddddd. Really want that 139.5, and it looks possible now maybe. Gotta work hard though. ****ty mood pretty much all day except the morning, been kinda moody lately lol. Swinging all over the place. Was pretty pissed off earlier about something, made for some great motivation. Too bad today's a rest day though. Fit in a couple mini red velvet cupcakes which made today a bit better. Love macros lol.

Also I can't remember if I mentioned this but I'm starting to see a bit of my serratus, like in the mornings if I flex at my leanest. Always thought it was a cool looking muscle, that and traps lol. Everyone's about the biceps and chest, but I think traps and serratus look sick. So yeah, it's neat to see that for the first time in my life. Maybe I post a pic this Sunday of them so you can all be mirin lololololol?

[b3nign]

Awesome job

[ImAVelociraptor]

Awesome job

Thanks a lot man, appreciate it. Lately hasn't been so awesome but I'm trying lol. Getting there slowly but surely.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 53: Friday, Dec.21, 2012

WEIGHT: 144.5lbs

DIET-
Calories:~1500
Protein:140g

Not entirely sure my exact cals today, need to buy more food that's easier to track. I actually only ended up eating about 900cal yesterday so even if I'm far off with my estimate I'm still down 600cal from yesterday.

WORKOUT-
Lifted.

Mehmehmeh.



So I'm at 144.5-145 after eating all my cals today, not too bad. Really hoping for ~141lbs on Sunday morning. That'll make 139 possible by January which is what I'm shooting for. Haven't been below 140 since like.... 8th grade? Also a bit conflicted about where to go with the new year. I'm still fat as fuq and REALLLLLLLLY want to be lean. Though I doubt I have enough lbm to look better than emaciated at 10-12%. I'm going to at least cut this week and next week, which should take me right up to dec.30-jan.1ish so like the end of the month. From Jan 1 I have 5 months to transform myself, because goal time is June. Yes it's somewhat superficial to want to be lean for summer, but I haven't had my shirt off in public since as long as I can remember. It'd be nice for the self confidence. I'm in bodybuilding for life, and will undoubtly continue to better myself for years to come. But I wanna look better for this summer. So yeah, I know I need some lbm (a lot actually), but at this point I'm thinking of extending the cut for a bit. I'll reevaluate from Jan.1 though and see what's up. Will probs make a post in the pictures section or losing fat section for opinions. I have 5 months; I need to figure out the best way to spend that time to achieve what I'm going for.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 54: Saturday, Dec.22, 2012

WEIGHT: 142lbs

DIET-
Calories:~1500
Protein:140g

Gotta nail the diet down better, getting sloppy for no reason. Just need to think more, drink more water, and avoid getting hungry and eating things I shouldn't.

WORKOUT-
Lifted.

Meh.


So yeah I think I'm going to be cutting longer than I planned. Need to get down to a reasonable bf% and I don't really have time to bulk before summer. Don't know exactly what I'm going to do, will have to figure that out. I thought this week was pretty good but I was like 142lbs this morning... Not feeling so hot about tomorrows progress pics. A bit anxious.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 55: Sunday, Dec.23, 2012

WEIGHT: 139.75lbs

DIET-
Calories:~1500
Protein:80g

Did kind of a refeed day, aka we had pizza and I wanted it. Celebration for being under 140, even though I'm probably not anymore lol.

WORKOUT-
Lift.

Lift.


So here are my pics for week 8. First progress I've made for pretty much all of December. I think it must be a fluke or something because I'm somehow at 139.75, which is like what I'd be expecting to be at next Sunday. Not really sure, I'll probs be at like 143 by the end of today. Still though the scale doesn't lie, pretty happy with that. Pics also came out better than expected.








139.75lbs. Mirin my scale??

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 56: Monday, Dec.24, 2012

WEIGHT: 140lbs

DIET-
Calories: Don't want to know...
Protein:~100

Should've prepared for today, ate pretty hard.

WORKOUT-
No lifts.

Resssssssssssssssssst.


Ate kind of a lot today, no idea how much. Doubt it was too extreme, but I ate like it was Christmas eve. Will weight myself tomorrow morning too evaluate the damages. As long as I'm down to ~138-139 by Sunday it's all good.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 57: Tuesday, Dec.25, 2012

WEIGHT: 10000lbs
DIET-
Calories: Don't want to know...
Protein:~100

FUQ

WORKOUT-
No lifts.

Resssssssssssssssssst agaaaaiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn.


FUQ. Been procrastinating making this post all day, too much shame. Didn't anticipate a second family party. Woke up fuller than I have been in awhile, continued to eat like I wasn't cutting and not a single ****k was given until now. Was really good psychologically I guess, that feel of I can eat whatever the hell I want whenever I want. Definitely miss that about the fat person life and it was nice to have that freedom back for a day (or 2....). Plus the new year is going to be HELL with the lack of holidays and such, gotta do my eating now. Also not feeling as rushed to cut since I don't have time for a massive bulk anyway, got all the time to cut. So yeah no too bad. 2 month progress is coming up the 29th though and unless I go HARD I'm going to look like ****, probably look worse than I did at the end of month 1. Wasting my time and it blows, especially since I only realize it now. Just gotta keep my mind straight and not eat in the moment. Need to think before anything goes in my mouth. Might do a bit a fasting, at least tomorrow since I won't want to eat lol. Thursday morning weight should be relatively accurate, expecting around 143-145ish. Eating like **** and a lot of it makes me feel so bad psychologically, somewhat physically, and I noticed that after awhile I'm just eating to eat - not even enjoying the food. That's what's nice about cutting is it really makes you appreciate when you get to eat and what you get to eat. Still in this, ****tty month considering 3 weeks of it were binging but whatever. If I'm below 135 by Feburary I'm happy, that's my goal.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 58: Wednesday, Dec.26, 2012

WEIGHT: 100001lbs
DIET-
Calories: Don't want to know...
Protein:~100

FUQ

WORKOUT-
No lifts.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 59: Thursday, Dec.27, 2012

WEIGHT: 9001lbs
DIET-
Calories: Birthday
Protein: Birthday

Birthday

WORKOUT-
Birthday

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 60: Friday, Dec.28, 2012

WEIGHT: 147lbs
DIET-
Calories: Unknown, probably around 1500
Protein: lolwut

Getting back into it.

WORKOUT-
Moderate lifting.

Massive pump due to not lifting for awhile. Craze is kinda... bad? I don't know I guess I succumbed to the hype. Pump is decent, but energy/focus aren't amazing. Liked C4 better. Taste SUCKS. C4 way better. Plus it dehydrates me so hard, more than C4. I have to take 2 scoops for noticeable effects too. It makes it hard for me to sleep and I sometimes can't catch my breath, especially when lifting. Gotta cough a few times to be able to get a full breath again. Maybe I just don't respond well, but I definitely prefer C4 at this point.



So yeah I kinda went diet break mode for this week. Thought I could handle the holidays, whatevs. Getting back into it, starting a new year is good motivation and a good place to get back on the wagon. Feeling good despite this being a chittttty month. IT'S ALL BEHIND ME NOW, BACK ON THE HORSE TOMORROW AND NOT STOPPING. I'll have no excuses to binge in the future so I figure getting it out for the holidays is alright for me. Seriously considered starting a bulk for the next few months since I have this massive surplus to start with, but I decided I'm gonna finish out this cut strong and not stop until I'm satisfied with my bf%. Sucks but it appears to be the best course of action for me.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Day 61: Saturday, Dec.29, 2012

WEIGHT: 144lbs
DIET-
Calories: Unknown, probably around 1500
Protein: Unkowng

Slowly coming back from my holiday collapse. Deflating a bit each day, doubt I'll be lean enough for pics tomorrow. December: Month of Spinning Wheels.

WORKOUT-
Moderate lifting.

Mehmeh.



So yeah I think I did alright today. Going to start cleaning up my diet. New year, new progress. Disappointed with my 2 month progress, but it is what it is. Moving on.

[RugbyColt]

keep going bro dont let the bad days get to you you have done sick so far! p.s. how are you managing 800-1000 calories i feel hungry on 1500

[ImAVelociraptor]

keep going bro dont let the bad days get to you you have done sick so far! p.s. how are you managing 800-1000 calories i feel hungry on 1500

Thanks man, I'm trying lol. Had another kinda bad night last night but I'm still only 144ish which isn't too bad. And I'd have to attribute that to my diet, which is pretty much intermittent fasting. Basically I go as long as I can without eating, which isn't too bad because I don't really get hungry until like 3:00-5:00PM (probably because I'm usually in school until then). I try not to eat before lifting so my pwo will have the strongest effect, then I lift for an hour or so. By the time I'm done it's usually like 6ish and I'm never hungry after lifting. That means I'm usually eating all my calories at like 8:00PM, and no matter how hungry I am I can't eat more than like 1000 calories at once.

Sometimes I'll eat like 500 calories or so if I'm hungry during the day, and I recently discovered diet soda has 0 calories, which is amazing lol. I basically just drank water and soda until like 10PM yesterday as to minimize the damage I would do eating.

[ImAVelociraptor]

Alrighty so it's Jan.1. Not 140lbs, probably about 143 after I lose the water weight I'm holding. New year though and I got an awesome head start, 5 months until summer. I'm going to end this log here and make a new one. Not really necessary but once again my OCD requires that I do so. Going to make a fresh slate and forget about my stalling in December.