Depression Discussion and Support Thread [srs]

[BigTimePlayer]

I don't have a sickness - its a physical ailment. No one knows what's wrong but anytime I exert my self (whether it is as simple as doing a pushup or carrying something heavy, my whole neck freezes up and feels like its spasming up. This makes exercising near impossible, sex is difficult, doing fun stuff is difficult as well, can't carry too much stuff, etc. I can do daily stuff like walking, washing dishes, etc...but anything past that is not fun.

Oh, that sucks. I'm lucky enough I can go to the gym & do things, it's just I rarely get joy in any of it. It's just some routine basically. I hope we can both get our lives back since I'm tired of missing out on things. If I get better I'd probably start talking to girls online & actually meeting up with them to hang out & have confidence.

I still plan on taking some online courses for the fall in something though regardless of how I feel since I have to start doing something in that area. I don't want to wake up & be 40 years old & have nothing. Tired of working those **** dead end jobs where I make almost no money. I'd feel horrible if I had a girlfriend/wife & she made tons more than I did. She'd probably resent me for it eventually.

[newmemberforlif]

Oh, that sucks. I'm lucky enough I can go to the gym & do things, it's just I rarely get joy in any of it. It's just some routine basically. I hope we can both get our lives back since I'm tired of missing out on things. If I get better I'd probably start talking to girls online & actually meeting up with them to hang out & have confidence.

I still plan on taking some online courses for the fall in something though regardless of how I feel since I have to start doing something in that area. I don't want to wake up & be 40 years old & have nothing. Tired of working those **** dead end jobs where I make almost no money. I'd feel horrible if I had a girlfriend/wife & she made tons more than I did. She'd probably resent me for it eventually.

You should really try socializing and taking wit plz. It makes me feel a lot better. Also, I got these natural serotonin/dopamine pills - not antidepressants - they help a lot

[BigTimePlayer]

You should really try socializing and taking wit plz. It makes me feel a lot better. Also, I got these natural serotonin/dopamine pills - not antidepressants - they help a lot

I'm not good at talking to random people about things. And I don't really have anyone to hang out with anymore in my area since everyone I talk to lives kinda far. I mean am I supposed to just go to some bar/club by myself & start socializing? I'd feel real awkward going by myself. I suppose I could join some meetup site for things in my area possibly.

Edit: Just went on meetup.com & there's literally nothing going on in a 100 mile radius of me. Probably the closest thing would be something in NYC.

[newmemberforlif]

I'm not good at talking to random people about things. And I don't really have anyone to hang out with anymore in my area since everyone I talk to lives kinda far. I mean am I supposed to just go to some bar/club by myself & start socializing? I'd feel real awkward going by myself. I suppose I could join some meetup site for things in my area possibly.

Edit: Just went on meetup.com & there's literally nothing going on in a 100 mile radius of me. Probably the closest thing would be something in NYC.

Feel you bro. I used to be like that. But it's amazing how you feel after getting out of your comfort zone. You should try a little bit day by day. I used to be shy and very passive but now I talk with everyone at work, school, etc.

[BigTimePlayer]

Keep thinking about my upcoming appointment next week constantly. I can't get it off my mind thinking about what's going to happen. It's almost like this is going to dictate my whole future.

[The Prime Nip]

Depressed brahs, you need to read this book or get it on CD. This will change your life and the way you think. It's about the psychology of self-image... what's going on in your head, and it explains everything very easily.

http://www.amazon.com/Psycho-Cyberne...dp/0671700758/

[MsMiserable]

Having a proper down. Anxiety attacks in public places. It's never been this bad. I'm considering suicide for the first time and I wonder if I ever gonna get out of this properly. I'm considering going back home to my parents since I don't trust myself to be alone.

[BigTimePlayer]

Man, I can't stop thinking about my problems 24/7. It's destroying me so bad. And this brain fogginess empty feeling in my head is making me feel so ill. I almost break down crying everyday wondering how my life is like this. I feel like I'm at rock bottom. And if they can't find out what's wrong with me this coming Thursday I have no idea wtf I'm going to do since there's absolutely no way I can go on like this. There's things I want to do in this life that are basically put on hold due to my health problems.

[mordei]

Man, I can't stop thinking about my problems 24/7. It's destroying me so bad. And this brain fogginess empty feeling in my head is making me feel so ill. I almost break down crying everyday wondering how my life is like this. I feel like I'm at rock bottom. And if they can't find out what's wrong with me this coming Thursday I have no idea wtf I'm going to do since there's absolutely no way I can go on like this. There's things I want to do in this life that are basically put on hold due to my health problems.

Are they impossible due to your health problems or just delayed? If its a temporary setback to your goals then there is a light at the end of the tunnel just find something to occupy your mind or another goal

[BigTimePlayer]

Are they impossible due to your health problems or just delayed? If its a temporary setback to your goals then there is a light at the end of the tunnel just find something to occupy your mind or another goal

But I can't stop worrying about this problem since no one has figured out what's wrong with me yet. I have an ENT appointment on Thursday, and I'm hoping they can find out what the exact problem is. It definitely has to do with my ear, nose or throat in some way but I'm just scared that their going to find nothing & let me on my way than I'll be stuck like this still. I also have depression/anxiety issues along with this other problem so it's so hard to live like this. If I can get this one problem fixed, than that would be a huge help in getting back on the right track. But staying the way I am now I can barely do anything since I just never feel right.

And some of those things are actually getting a career job in something. Also, there's some girl I want to get in contact with again who I haven't spoken to in a long time. I actually turned her down due to my circumstances & I didn't have it in me to tell her my problems. But she was really into me even after I turned her down. And she's still single at the moment. It's just I don't have it in me to talk to her again until I get my health problems fixed, since I don't want to burden her with my problems.

[clemburger]

I'm going to be working in an inpatient facility next semester and severe depression brings a lot of people in. If you guys would be cool with it, could you maybe just tell me what types of therapy and psychologists had the best results for you. Personally, going through CBT was a life changing event and one I would suggest to just about anyone suffering from depression/anxiety/OCD.

[mordei]

But I can't stop worrying about this problem since no one has figured out what's wrong with me yet. I have an ENT appointment on Thursday, and I'm hoping they can find out what the exact problem is. It definitely has to do with my ear, nose or throat in some way but I'm just scared that their going to find nothing & let me on my way than I'll be stuck like this still. I also have depression/anxiety issues along with this other problem so it's so hard to live like this. If I can get this one problem fixed, than that would be a huge help in getting back on the right track. But staying the way I am now I can barely do anything since I just never feel right.

And some of those things are actually getting a career job in something. Also, there's some girl I want to get in contact with again who I haven't spoken to in a long time. I actually turned her down due to my circumstances & I didn't have it in me to tell her my problems. But she was really into me even after I turned her down. And she's still single at the moment. It's just I don't have it in me to talk to her again until I get my health problems fixed, since I don't want to burden her with my problems.

I'm not trying to talk down your problems, but if its a temporary situation don't give in to harmful thoughts.
Anxiety sucks, try to take it one day at a time and you'll get there

[BigTimePlayer]

I'm not trying to talk down your problems, but if its a temporary situation don't give in to harmful thoughts.
Anxiety sucks, try to take it one day at a time and you'll get there

I understand that, but dealing with a problem where I don't know the exact cause is really ****ing me up. It makes me think the worst like I'm never going to get better in any way since it's been going on for so long.

[TheInvictus1995]

Has anyone overcome self-hatred? I think its really keeping me back in life.

[BigTimePlayer]

Okay, so here's the deal. I went on OKCupid & messaged an attractive older woman never thinking it would escalate into a long convo. She really likes me, now wants to meet next week. I'm so ****ing nervous about this. And not sure what to expect. I just feel there's no way I can turn her down since she's really cool & attractive. But I don't know how she's going to react when I tell her I never been in a relationship or anything. As well as have depression/anxiety issues. But I feel I can't **** this up like I did last year with another girl. The funny thing is she's actually a social worker in medicine so I don't know if this is a sign for me or what.

[War Machine]

Okay, so here's the deal. I went on OKCupid & messaged an attractive older woman never thinking it would escalate into a long convo. She really likes me, now wants to meet next week. I'm so ****ing nervous about this. And not sure what to expect. I just feel there's no way I can turn her down since she's really cool & attractive. But I don't know how she's going to react when I tell her I never been in a relationship or anything. As well as have depression/anxiety issues. But I feel I can't **** this up like I did last year with another girl. The funny thing is she's actually a social worker in medicine so I don't know if this is a sign for me or what.

Just go dude. Relax and have fun. To me the fact she really likes you and wants to means you're done past the hard part

[BigTimePlayer]

Just go dude. Relax and have fun. To me the fact she really likes you and wants to means you're done past the hard part

I'm just scared though since I have problems. And I've never had sex/relationship before. But I don't want to screw it up with her because she's seriously amazing to chat with. And I find her extremely attractive. I'm just worried I'm going to go in one of my low moods when with her. She's also 13 years older than me.

[BigTimePlayer]

Well she stopped responding to me now, so I take it she found someone she finds more interesting than me. Go figure, the story of my ****ty life.

[scarboro]

I hope nobody takes it the wrong way but reading this thread is a bit of a relief just knowing others are having problems as well. Some definitely worse some more minor but it really puts things in perspective and helps me realize the world is still revolving and you'll wake up tomorrow and sometimes forget the worries of yesterday.

[MikeChangBrah]

anyone else feel a chit tonne better after listening to podcasts?

Radiolab, This American Life, etc. They always have uplifting feelgood stories that make your mind drift elsewhere. While it doesn't really combat depression, it sure helps lift your mind from it.

[Benihanas]

Made a thread but saw this thread, thought I'd just copy and paste:


Can't be alone here. I honestly fall into a state of depression when I get injured to the point that it keeps me from doing regular activities or certain activities.

Maybe I'm just being a pussy or maybe it's just the perfect storm of circumstances this weekend, but I'm really struggling here.

Rolled my ankle really bad this week playing basketball (I play in the mornings at 6 before going to work, usually lift in the evenings) thing was swollen up like a softball, have this really strange lateral bruise running along my foot underneath that circle joint/bone in your ankle. Iced it, raised it, compressed it, did all the typical **** I'm supposed to, got the proper advice on care for it from my gf (athletic trainer) but it still just crushes me.

I refused to go to a doctor because I've sprained ankles before and know what to do for them, didn't feel like getting an MRI/Xray and getting crutches (would make me feel even more debilitated)

Now I'm just really depressed. I just moved to this area back in April, and since then the 3 things I've found to do with my free time that I really enjoy are no longer things I'm able to do because of my ****ing ankle: play basketball, lift weights, and play disc golf.

I still go to the gym to lift upper body, but I hate looking and feeling like a btch when I gimp around the weight room and having people look at me with sympathy and just feeling like a fcking cripple (no offense to anyone who is legitimately handicapped, I cannot even imagine your struggle)

Just is really messing with me, had to spend the 4th with my mom and grandma, didn't do anything special, not even fireworks, didn't get to see the rest of my family, won't get to spend any time with my friends or gf this weekend (don't really even have any friends in MO, so yeah)


Enough complaining, but what do you guys do when you're injured to stay sane? I'm being driven absolutely nuts by the fact that everything I love doing involves activity, and I can't even go for a goddamn walk because of my ankle. Halp.

[BigTimePlayer]

Not sure what to expect at this point with this woman. She is chatting with me & definitely seems interested but she's most definitely talking to a bunch of other guys on there as well. That's her right though since we never even met or anything, but the feeling of having to compete with a bunch of others really sucks. And I don't know if I'm even well enough to be dating at this point in time, but at the same time I don't want this opportunity to pass me by since we get along really well.

[bdomihizayka]

Made a thread but saw this thread, thought I'd just copy and paste:


Can't be alone here. I honestly fall into a state of depression when I get injured to the point that it keeps me from doing regular activities or certain activities.

Maybe I'm just being a pussy or maybe it's just the perfect storm of circumstances this weekend, but I'm really struggling here.

Rolled my ankle really bad this week playing basketball (I play in the mornings at 6 before going to work, usually lift in the evenings) thing was swollen up like a softball, have this really strange lateral bruise running along my foot underneath that circle joint/bone in your ankle. Iced it, raised it, compressed it, did all the typical **** I'm supposed to, got the proper advice on care for it from my gf (athletic trainer) but it still just crushes me.

I refused to go to a doctor because I've sprained ankles before and know what to do for them, didn't feel like getting an MRI/Xray and getting crutches (would make me feel even more debilitated)

Now I'm just really depressed. I just moved to this area back in April, and since then the 3 things I've found to do with my free time that I really enjoy are no longer things I'm able to do because of my ****ing ankle: play basketball, lift weights, and play disc golf.

I still go to the gym to lift upper body, but I hate looking and feeling like a btch when I gimp around the weight room and having people look at me with sympathy and just feeling like a fcking cripple (no offense to anyone who is legitimately handicapped, I cannot even imagine your struggle)

Just is really messing with me, had to spend the 4th with my mom and grandma, didn't do anything special, not even fireworks, didn't get to see the rest of my family, won't get to spend any time with my friends or gf this weekend (don't really even have any friends in MO, so yeah)


Enough complaining, but what do you guys do when you're injured to stay sane? I'm being driven absolutely nuts by the fact that everything I love doing involves activity, and I can't even go for a goddamn walk because of my ankle. Halp.

I tore my rotator cuff 2 years ago coming off a very expensive and dedicated bicycle ride and lost all my gains and more LOL so I most certainly know the feeling. I got depressed and turned to drugs and everything spiraled out of control. But what I should have done was learn to meditate - SRS. Learn to be comfortable in your own mind.... learn to be your own best friend..... learn to be calm and content in stillness. Why not take this time to get to know yourself a bit better?? wWhy do you have to be constantly active to be happy.... it seems like you're running away from your wandering mind a bit? Just a thought....

[b3rtstare]

Thanks to whoever bumped this thread. I was searching for this thread yesterday but couldn't find it.

I don't even know where to start. I feel so worthless. I make good money, have my own apartment, have a nice car, but I am a social retard.

It all started 2 years ago when I got arrested for a DWI. 2 years and 8k later, I'm past it, but ever since that fateful day, I've been battling constant depression and feelings of worthlessness. I learned from my mistakes, but I'm a changed man forever. The person I used to be was confident, arrogant, and knew what I wanted, which was to party. I've gotten a better job making more money but I still feel worthless to the point where I have given up on relationships and stopped caring about getting laid. I've accepted the fact in such a god damn loser that no woman would ever want me.(I'm still a virgin at 25). It's like anytime a hot girl is around, I go full retard and have no idea what to say.

I've gotten to the point where I really hate life, But at the same time, it truly feels liberating not caring about women, relationships, or getting laid. I've accepted that I'm such a loser that ill probably never get married and maybe it kinda does make me happy.

[Benihanas]

I tore my rotator cuff 2 years ago coming off a very expensive and dedicated bicycle ride and lost all my gains and more LOL so I most certainly know the feeling. I got depressed and turned to drugs and everything spiraled out of control. But what I should have done was learn to meditate - SRS. Learn to be comfortable in your own mind.... learn to be your own best friend..... learn to be calm and content in stillness. Why not take this time to get to know yourself a bit better?? wWhy do you have to be constantly active to be happy.... it seems like you're running away from your wandering mind a bit? Just a thought....

idk man, I've just always been that way, even as a kid, I was always on the go. Summers were filled with nothing but wanting to play outside, run around, have fun, even when I got older I was into always doing something active. I mean I enjoy playing video games and watching shows/movies but that's more stuff for the evenings/rainy days. Same thing with reading/writing. Never been the kind of person to be like, 'man it's an awesome day outside, I can't wait to go out there and just read the sh!t out of this book!'

Instead I've always wanted to go out and DO something. Maybe I do have some subconscious issues, I've never been good at meditating, even when I've tried it, can't seem to turn my brain off. Have the same problem at night too when trying to sleep, usually always takes me forever because I just can't turn it "off".

Any insight into getting better/more into meditation?

[BigTimePlayer]

Thanks to whoever bumped this thread. I was searching for this thread yesterday but couldn't find it.

I don't even know where to start. I feel so worthless. I make good money, have my own apartment, have a nice car, but I am a social retard.

It all started 2 years ago when I got arrested for a DWI. 2 years and 8k later, I'm past it, but ever since that fateful day, I've been battling constant depression and feelings of worthlessness. I learned from my mistakes, but I'm a changed man forever. The person I used to be was confident, arrogant, and knew what I wanted, which was to party. I've gotten a better job making more money but I still feel worthless to the point where I have given up on relationships and stopped caring about getting laid. I've accepted the fact in such a god damn loser that no woman would ever want me.(I'm still a virgin at 25). It's like anytime a hot girl is around, I go full retard and have no idea what to say.

I've gotten to the point where I really hate life, But at the same time, it truly feels liberating not caring about women, relationships, or getting laid. I've accepted that I'm such a loser that ill probably never get married and maybe it kinda does make me happy.

I'm a few years older than you & still a virgin due to my problems. I've been on online dating site talking to some older woman, & she said she wants to meet up sometime next week. I'm really nervous about it since I feel like I'm in no position to be dating right now. But we get along so well in our chats, and she seems to really like me. I don't know what to do. I don't want this opportunity to go to waste, but at same time I don't want to waste her time either. Confused as **** as to what to do. If I tell her about my problems, she'll probably view me differently & go no contact.

[bdomihizayka]

idk man, I've just always been that way, even as a kid, I was always on the go. Summers were filled with nothing but wanting to play outside, run around, have fun, even when I got older I was into always doing something active. I mean I enjoy playing video games and watching shows/movies but that's more stuff for the evenings/rainy days. Same thing with reading/writing. Never been the kind of person to be like, 'man it's an awesome day outside, I can't wait to go out there and just read the sh!t out of this book!'

Instead I've always wanted to go out and DO something. Maybe I do have some subconscious issues, I've never been good at meditating, even when I've tried it, can't seem to turn my brain off. Have the same problem at night too when trying to sleep, usually always takes me forever because I just can't turn it "off".

Any insight into getting better/more into meditation?

I totally feel ya. I love being physically active myself. I learned it was because I loathed myself though, and couldn't stand sitting in my own brain/ sheit.

The best way to meditate is to sit straight, eyes open, looking at a wall. Don't try and control anything- just let everything be. Watch your thoughts and let them go without giving them attention/ manipulating them (hard to explain - just let them play out like a TV show or whatever). The point of meditation is not to have no thoughts and a clear mind, but to be completely aware in all senses of the word. This is how I was taught by an actual Buddhist monk I lived with for a few months. Just because you feel something intensely doesn't make it real. It's not important how you feel. What is important is to hold the body very still with all the senses open, especially the eyes, and just observe. Do this for at least 15 minutes a day. The insanity won't necessarily stop, but you'll see how you fuel your self deception and cover up your life.

[b3rtstare]

I'm a few years older than you & still a virgin due to my problems. I've been on online dating site talking to some older woman, & she said she wants to meet up sometime next week. I'm really nervous about it since I feel like I'm in no position to be dating right now. But we get along so well in our chats, and she seems to really like me. I don't know what to do. I don't want this opportunity to go to waste, but at same time I don't want to waste her time either. Confused as **** as to what to do. If I tell her about my problems, she'll probably view me differently & go no contact.

I feel your pain. I truly have no idea how to talk to women. I've never even had a girlfriend. It makes no sense either because I'm a recruiter and have no problem talking to strangers on the phone or even going to tradeshows and networking to create business, but when I get in a social situation where I'm hanging out, I have no idea what to do or say. Just last night, I was hanging out with friends and was pretty quiet most of the time. I'm so sick of having to hang out and do stuff, part of me is ready to settle down and get married just so I don't have to do social things anymore.

[Benihanas]

I totally feel ya. I love being physically active myself. I learned it was because I loathed myself though, and couldn't stand sitting in my own brain/ sheit.

The best way to meditate is to sit straight, eyes open, looking at a wall. Don't try and control anything- just let everything be. Watch your thoughts and let them go without giving them attention/ manipulating them (hard to explain - just let them play out like a TV show or whatever). The point of meditation is not to have no thoughts and a clear mind, but to be completely aware in all senses of the word. This is how I was taught by an actual Buddhist monk I lived with for a few months. Just because you feel something intensely doesn't make it real. It's not important how you feel. What is important is to hold the body very still with all the senses open, especially the eyes, and just observe. Do this for at least 15 minutes a day. The insanity won't necessarily stop, but you'll see how you fuel your self deception and cover up your life.

Thanks man I'll give it a shot, hopefully I can make something good come out of this time

[BigTimePlayer]

I feel your pain. I truly have no idea how to talk to women. I've never even had a girlfriend. It makes no sense either because I'm a recruiter and have no problem talking to strangers on the phone or even going to tradeshows and networking to create business, but when I get in a social situation where I'm hanging out, I have no idea what to do or say. Just last night, I was hanging out with friends and was pretty quiet most of the time. I'm so sick of having to hang out and do stuff, part of me is ready to settle down and get married just so I don't have to do social things anymore.

Yeah, I'm kinda getting physically sick thinking about it. Don't know wtf is wrong with me. Just feel I have too many problems atm to be dating anyone. Also, when I tell her I've never been with anyone or a virgin I'll be so embarrassed. As well as my depression/anxiety. Also, have some sort of other problem that doctors can't even find out what's wrong with me. Have an appointment on Thursday, hope they can figure it out. So yeah, not exactly a good thing for me.

Edit: She just asked if I ever want to hang out. And I just said yeah, sure.