RANT: Proudly sponsored by Aqua Beowulf. Pure sparkling rant water.

[VoxExMachina]

Note to Ranters: Never buy a Kobo E-reader. I bought one for my wife for mother's day, and the thing is a piece of shiit. Fuuckin thing always freezes, and now it's frozen and can't be reset. I want to smash this thing into tiny pieces and mail each piece individually back to Kobo.

Life is harder when you do stupid things.

[adamdavidson47]

You have a budget of 200 dollars and didn't consider a Kindle or Nexus?

You deserve to be duped into owning a poopy device.

We can't buy those here in Canada.

Perhaps you should have spent the 2oo on an anger management class.

U mad?

I should've spent it on a hooker. At least I'd have gotten laid out of that deal.

Life is harder when you do stupid things.

Thank-you, Tony Robbins.

[kvk1]

we can't buy those here in canada.

Sorry aboot that.

[VoxExMachina]

You can't get a Kindle in Canada?

What kind of country are you running up there?

[Hishiad]

That's a terrible idea.

Well....he could engage in an enthralling debate on post modern beer offerings and their impact on insurance sales in the late 20th century, but you're a ****face.

[adamdavidson47]

You can't get a Kindle in Canada?

What kind of country are you running up there?

Not yet. We also can't get direct TV (we used to pirate it here, but it can't be hacked anymore apparently). The CRTC sucks.

[Miketoc]

I should've spent it on a hooker. At least I'd have gotten laid out of that deal..

200 bucks isn't going to get you laid by any decent hooker. A hooker that would lay you for 200 bucks is of the same quality of your kobo e-reader, and if you chop her up into pieces and send her back to K street, you may end up in jail.

I'd rethink your shopping habits.

[VoxExMachina]

Not yet. We also can't get direct TV (we used to pirate it here, but it can't be hacked anymore apparently). The CRTC sucks.

Drive across border, buy Kindle, end of problem.

Better yet, load up your stuff and move to Beverly...Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars, kindles.

[kvk1]

200 bucks isn't going to get you laid by any decent hooker. A hooker that would lay you for 200 bucks is of the same quality of your kobo e-reader, and if you chop her up into pieces and send her back to K street, you may end up in jail.

I'd rethink your shopping habits.

Sounds like somebody's been taking Zumba classes.

[Hishiad]

Drive across border, buy Kindle, end of problem.

Better yet, load up your stuff and move to Beverly...Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars, kindles.

You assume he has access to moving vehicles...I mean no Kindles or Direct TV, stone ages fa shure.

[adamdavidson47]

200 bucks isn't going to get you laid by any decent hooker. A hooker that would lay you for 200 bucks is of the same quality of your kobo e-reader, and if you chop her up into pieces and send her back to K street, you may end up in jail.

I'd rethink your shopping habits.

Any port in a storm, or so they say.

Drive across border, buy Kindle, end of problem.

Better yet, load up your stuff and move to Beverly...Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars, kindles.

I'm not allowed to cross the border because I left an upper decker at a restaurant in Detroit once.

Sounds like somebody's been taking Zumba classes.

lulz

[Ctrainer]

So getting my yearly mammagram and while talking with the woman doing the exam we discover that she knows my sister, my dad and one of my pt clients. Her daughter also goes to school with my son. This is not an odd thing since the testing center is about 10 mins. from my house. The odd part came when she stopped mid-exam to ask me how my BIL was doing since his cancer and motorcycle accident and by mid-exam, I mean actually holding my boob while talking to me.

This is something that I want to never be repeated.

Ever.

[chazzy1864]

Would've rather had her whisper sweet nothings in your ear while she held your boob?

[Hishiad]

So getting my yearly mammagram and while talking with the woman doing the exam we discover that she knows my sister, my dad and one of my pt clients. Her daughter also goes to school with my son. This is not an odd thing since the testing center is about 10 mins. from my house. The odd part came when she stopped mid-exam to ask me how my BIL was doing since his cancer and motorcycle accident and by mid-exam, I mean actually holding my boob while talking to me.

This is something that I want to never be repeated.

Ever.

I wouldn't say a word mid boob hold, just sayin.

[kvk1]

At least nobody has to shove a finger up your ass once a year after you hit 40.

[Ctrainer]

Would've rather had her whisper sweet nothings in your ear while she held your boob?

no..I was thinking more like, "let's hold that thought till the exam i s over".

I wouldn't say a word mid boob hold, just sayin.

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

[chazzy1864]

I wouldn't say a word mid boob hold, just sayin.

God knows I would.

[ThickAsABrick]

I wouldn't say a word mid boob hold, just sayin.

You and David Adamson prefer holding each others' in complete silence.

[kvk1]

I thought they had machines for boobograms?

I didn't know they had to be manually fondled.

Man. Am I getting the wrong degree.

[chazzy1864]

At least nobody has to shove a finger up your ass once a year after you hit 40.

Some people pay good money for that.


I guess that also includes all males over 40. Meh.

no..I was thinking more like, "let's hold that thought till the exam i s over".

Let me guess, you wished the lights would've remained off as well, eh? Prude.

[Ctrainer]

At least nobody has to shove a finger up your ass once a year after you hit 40.

Don't get me started on having things shoved in you!

Ever been to the gyno???

[Ctrainer]

I thought they had machines for boobograms?

I didn't know they had to be manually fondled.

Man. Am I getting the wrong degree.

They do. It is this metal machine that clamps down and smashes your boob. But the examiner has to place your boob in the machine.

[kvk1]

Don't get me started on having things shoved in you!

Ever been to the gyno???

Oh yeah.

Forgot about that.

Yeah, you win (well, lose.)

[Miketoc]

I thought they had machines for boobograms?

I didn't know they had to be manually fondled.

Man. Am I getting the wrong degree.

The percentage of women you'd be examining who are attractive is small. Not worth it.

[Tyrbolift]

Note to Ranters: Never buy a Kobo E-reader. [B]I bought one for my wife for mother's day[/], and the thing is a piece of shiit. Fuuckin thing always freezes, and now it's frozen and can't be reset. I want to smash this thing into tiny pieces and mail each piece individually back to Kobo.

God I'm so pissed. I shelled out like 200 bucks for this fuuckin thing too, and I can't find the receipt.

Anyone ever wonder how women got men to buy them a gift for Mother's Day? She's not your mother.

Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, mother's days. What's next?

[kvk1]

They do. It is this metal machine that clamps down and smashes your boob. But the examiner has to place your boob in the machine.

Yeah, that's a social faux pas. She should've chatted you up following the boob placement on the machine.

[Final_Rep]

I thought the dip 'n sniff was going away because there are now more reliable methods?

[ThickAsABrick]

Anyone ever wonder how women got men to buy them a gift for Mother's Day? She's not your mother.

Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, mother's days. What's next?

People with kids probably understand better than those without.

[kvk1]

The percentage of women you'd be examining who are attractive is small. Not worth it.

I have seen many ugly faces.

I have yet to see an ugly boob.

I wager things are in my favor.

[Tyrbolift]

They do. It is this metal machine that clamps down and smashes your boob. But the examiner has to place your boob in the machine.

mammogram day!