Would you date someone who doesn't have any friends? I'm looking for male responses mostly since there's a similar thread in female misc but ladies feel free to chime in.
In this instance, let's assume they *willingly* don't have friends. IE, they used to have lots of them but were sick of the drama/felt like they were bad influences/etc and willingly kept to themselves, stopped going out a lot etc.
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10-01-2012, 10:16 PM #1Banned
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Dating someone who doesn't have friends
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10-01-2012, 10:23 PM #2F*ck Mike O'Hearn
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my ex-gf had two friends she knew from work but they weren't "close friends" if that makes sense. She was too busy working and going to college to have friends anyway and you could say I was her best friend.
and I didn't care. woulddate/10
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10-01-2012, 10:25 PM #3Registered User
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only if you rep meOriginally Posted by aristomeow
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10-01-2012, 10:52 PM #4Registered User
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The reasons you gave make him sound like someone with his head on straight.
If anything someone who surrounds themselves with bad influences is not worth dating. It just creates the opportunity for dragging you down with them.
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10-01-2012, 10:57 PM #5Huh?
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That sounds like me. Bad influences, negative vibes from those "friends" so now i just keep to myself.
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10-01-2012, 11:03 PM #6Banned
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This is more about me than anyone else..Originally Posted by niosh
I have a large social circle. Unfortunately , I'm coming to a realisation that perhaps they are not that great influence wise. Friday nights consist of "getting drunk" with little reason than to simply get drunk. They have also started discussing taking acid and I'm def not down with that.
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10-01-2012, 11:10 PM #7Registered User
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If you are asking whether guys prefer girls with with a smaller social circle then I would say yes. Smaller social circle are nice it indicates that the girl doesn't constantly have to a social butterfly/attention whore.Originally Posted by aristomeow
Just to add, can't speak for all Guys but I personally hate chicks that party, get drunk.POOR ASS BRO CREW
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10-01-2012, 11:36 PM #8Banned
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Replace "small social circle" with "no social circle" and that's more like what my situation will be if I listen to the voice of reason and keep my distance.Originally Posted by truffles
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10-01-2012, 11:38 PM #9Registered User
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Yep I would, that's my preference, as I'm the same.
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10-01-2012, 11:41 PM #10Message Board King
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I personally prefer reserved girls anyways and by that I mean a girl who only has a few friends but really good friends. I don't like the type of people that know everyone which is why I call it the 1k ******** friend rule.
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10-01-2012, 11:41 PM #11Registered User
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Yes, I would date a girl who doesn't have friends. There is a big difference between being friendly and socially dysfunctional.
It goes both ways. I would never want to date a girl who is social butterfly. Usually they are big attention whore. On the contrary, I wouldn't want to date a girl who has a personality of a rock. You know what I mean, jellybean?
I know so many girls who wouldn't date a guy if he didn't have any friends. So the guy could be super busy, or likes to do his own thing (me) and would be consider undateable to women.
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10-02-2012, 12:16 AM #12Having a lack of a social circle isn't so bad for females, but it is for males. You seem to have good head on your shoulders and I assume a lot of guys would be interested in you, despite you having a limited social circle.Originally Posted by aristomeow
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10-02-2012, 12:18 AM #13Certified Autistic
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not gonna lie if the girl had no friends it would seem weird as **** but it would not be a deal breaker
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10-02-2012, 12:22 AM #14Check My $tats
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Cliffs:
Men don't care if you don't have any friends as long as they're getting some ass
Women do care if a man doesn't have any friends as it doesn't demonstrate the natural qualities that women are raised to look for in men.Los Angeles Crew
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10-02-2012, 12:22 AM #15Huntin a bit of meat
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Yeah I wouldn't have a problem with it since u put it like that. I would rather her have a few real friends then heaps of fake friends.
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10-02-2012, 12:34 AM #16noaviphag... for now
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no problems dating a girl with little to no social circle (by choice, as opposed to zero social skill), if we got along great.
if i get along well with the girl, then my family and friends would also probably get along with her = no problems.
edit: i suppose there is also the back-of-the-mind concern that if she had a massive social circle, constantly going out, ********ing, etc, that she's attention starved, which sometimes means high maintenance.
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10-02-2012, 12:35 AM #17Registered User
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yes i would not mind, assuming she is not weird/psycho
i'd assume a decent portion of guys would not mind a reserved/loner chick as long as shes hot/good personality etc... meanwhile i think majority of chicks would have issues dating a guy with no friends because they value social status wayyyyy more
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10-02-2012, 01:51 AM #18Registered User
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Depends whether she likes alone time or actually wants friends but can't.
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10-02-2012, 02:17 AM #19Registered User
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they would need to have at least a couple. i'm afraid regular people dont just have no friends. I feel like if they literally had zero friends they would have some weird ass personality traits.
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10-02-2012, 02:59 AM #20Registered User
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It would be a massive turn-off for me. 99.99999% of times people say they're "sick of the drama", they're usually right in the center of that drama and absolutely thrive on being dramatic.
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10-02-2012, 03:04 AM #21
Having friends gives me a good vibe, I can get to know her through her friends, meet them, chill and ****.
The only thing I am worried about is a girl going clingy since she only has me."Who?"
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10-02-2012, 03:11 AM #22Registered User
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I wouldn´t.
If she doesn´t have any friends, i will become her whole world, and i don´t really like that, i have lots of friends, and i like to have my space.
Also, it can be a huge flag that she is a douche, and her friends ended up sick of her.
Also, if she is too busy with work/study/etc to have friends and time for herself, she will be too busy to hang out with me. Been there, done that, and never again.
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10-02-2012, 03:19 AM #23my shoes hurt
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So your question is whether or not we would consider you dateable based on what your social life is like? If so, then I'll give you my take. If not then disregard the rest of the postOriginally Posted by aristomeow
Scenario 1: You maintain your large social circle and keep hanging around these bad influences, maybe even partake a little bit.
Do I consider you to be dateable? When I was closer to your age, I would've said HELL YEAH! Because I was into all of the same things in my early 20's, we would've gotten along perfectly fine, had all kinds of fun together, and who knows where the relationship would've went from there?
But now I'm older, in the military, and expected to be more responsible and boring lmao. I still go out clubbing some but if you were doing it all the time I would probably have to say pass. Someone who is constantly around people drinking and doing drugs all the time can both put themselves in danger and get me in trouble - 2 things I can't afford to have happen in a relationship. It's nothing personal against these types of people, person to person I'm ok with them, but their lifestyle is simply not compatible with where I'm at right now in terms of a relationship working out.
Scenario 2: You skip out on the large social circle and become a loner by choice
Do I consider you to be dateable? When I was closer to your age, I would've said no, and if I did date you I would've either driven you bat-**** insane or pulled you back into the lifestyle that you seem to want to avoid, not what you're looking for in a bf is it?
But now that I'm a bit older, have slowed down just a tiny bit, can't afford to get in trouble cuz military standards are ****ing gay lol, and have gotten a lot of the craziness out of my system and no longer feel the need to be a crazy youth as I used to I would take no exception to dating you (or if I did take exception it wouldn't have anything to do with the lack of social circle on your part lol something else about you would have to seriously rub me the wrong way). My only concern would be you not giving me any space and not letting me have a social circle other than you but if you're not guilty of that then it's all good imo.
See how it's not black and white? Even when the exact same guy is responding to you in each scenario his answers are different based on where he's at in his life right now. With one type of guy who has one set of values and things he needs in a gf you will be a dream come true....for another guy with another set of values who is at a different point in his life and has something else he needs in a gf you might be the worst thing that's ever happened to him or vise versa lol.Last edited by Charuto222; 10-02-2012 at 03:26 AM.
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10-02-2012, 03:31 AM #24Registered User
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It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me. I myself have a couple of close friends and then a wider circle who I keep at arms length so could completely understand if situation was explained. Although if having no friends meant she suffocated me then it would be a problem.
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10-02-2012, 03:47 AM #25
First I would figure out why she has no friends. If she's busy with her career and don't care to be an attention whore I'd be all over that. I love a girl who don't have a big social circle. Then there are girls that has no friends because they screw everyone over. Those I would stay very very far away. My ex-gf only had about 2 friends and they weren't even close friends. She was busy with school and her career. Knew how to cook and was smart. One of my friend though, she's gorgeous but has no female friends because she screws them all over. She'll choose d.ick over chicks. Plus, she's bats.hit crazy.
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10-02-2012, 04:02 AM #26HERB-brew
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OP,
Just find a new crew with a more positive state of mind. I personally think it's beneficial for both parties to have their own crew of friends and ultimately a life outside of each other. But if this was the reason she was kind of inbetween sorting it out, I'd be okay with that...for now.*US Navy Vet*
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10-02-2012, 04:04 AM #27Banned
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Thanks for the responses guys. Will rep as best I can.
I'm not a clingy or jealous person- I'm independent and require a lot of 'me' time but I can see how guys would be worried by this. I'm not "awkward" either, I just unfortunately have bad luck when it comes to friends (they move away to be with long distance bf's, they literally flip out and go crazy, get too deep into the partying lifestyle) etc. I would love to have friends I could go to the gym or theatre or standup comedy with but unfortunately that isn't happening at this stage.
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10-02-2012, 04:42 AM #28Registered User
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So you have no friends who aren't terrible influences? Wow, strong friendships......Originally Posted by aristomeow
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10-02-2012, 04:43 AM #29Registered User
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Why isn't it happening at this stage?Originally Posted by aristomeow
I always keep to myself and even I meet people constantly when I'm at the gym, out bike riding, playing soccer, etc. If you want to meet a better group of potential friends, start doing team sports or talk to people you consistently see at the gym when you're there.
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10-02-2012, 04:51 AM #30Banned
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That's right.Originally Posted by US_Ranger
It's different for girls making friends randomly though. I've seen guys just strike up friendships at the gym, never have I seen it happen with girls.Originally Posted by US_Ranger
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