it's higher than you think
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Results 91 to 102 of 102
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09-23-2012, 08:37 PM #91Babyslayer Protege
- Join Date: Jul 2011
- Age: 33
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*Jungle Fever Crew*
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09-23-2012, 08:47 PM #92Registered User
- Join Date: Feb 2007
- Age: 40
- Posts: 13,455
- Rep Power: 17682
Chill out.
-Mr. Freeze, Batman and Robin
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09-23-2012, 08:50 PM #93Registered User
- Join Date: Jun 2008
- Age: 36
- Posts: 4,731
- Rep Power: 1232
Lol, repped. Good advice too.Originally Posted by JokaJJayy
** KNEE DRAGGERS UNITE **
***Georgia Crew***
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09-23-2012, 08:53 PM #94
Are people really that stupid that they don't know where the hole is before they slip it in? Fuark. How many porn vids do you watch, you'd think you'd atleast learn something.
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09-23-2012, 08:54 PM #95Banned
- Join Date: Jun 2010
- Location: United States
- Posts: 3,157
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OP Beta as fuсk, did you jerk off before hand? If you get nervous try not to jerk off that day it will be easier getting it hard, when nervous it's difficult as fuсk. Ask for a bj, or eat her out if nothing works. **** happens bro, you'll do better next time, don't too much worry about it
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09-23-2012, 08:54 PM #96Registered User
- Join Date: Dec 2011
- Location: Alberta, Canada
- Posts: 14,847
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Even after having sex 1000s of times I still need to guide that bad boy in and often go in the wrong hole nawm sayinOriginally Posted by DryEntry
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09-23-2012, 08:56 PM #97Registered User
- Join Date: Mar 2011
- Posts: 2,286
- Rep Power: 3704
If this is a legit story, you make me sick OP. You bring shame to all men across the world and your beta genes do not deserve to be passed down to any more poor souls.
*American Politics & History Crew*
*INTJ Crew*
"There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"
- Robert Kennedy
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09-23-2012, 08:57 PM #981 Mile 2 Mile 3 Mile FOUR
- Join Date: Aug 2012
- Location: Denver, Colorado, United States
- Age: 32
- Posts: 9,836
- Rep Power: 103914
....okay hahahahahahahahahaOriginally Posted by Zplasch
6'5 220
i can bench press 135 pounds on a good day
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09-23-2012, 08:59 PM #99Registered User
- Join Date: Dec 2011
- Location: Alberta, Canada
- Posts: 14,847
- Rep Power: 21485
Originally Posted by HamstringKing
Well to make a long and embarrassing short and less embarrassing, I f*cked up. I went over to her house alone (we've only been alone maybe 2-3 times together for an extended period of time). I was shy and nervous, so I used the excuse "I'm tired" so I wouldn't look like a bitch. Once we started getting dirty I totally p*ssied out. The farthest I got tonight was playing with her tits. I was acting awkward as sh*t all night, couldn't make eye contact, breathing heavyish, sweaty, had a crackly voice like a nerd. Everything just went wrong
Now I'm going to just bury myself in my computer screen for the next few days until I can get over myself. I texted her and said there is something wrong in my family so she doesn't think I'm a total bitch even though I am...
ahahahhahahahaha!!!!!! thanks for the laugh OP
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09-23-2012, 08:59 PM #100Registered Sex Offender
- Join Date: Oct 2009
- Location: Ukraine
- Age: 34
- Posts: 6,076
- Rep Power: 9452
Hahaha wow, this topic reminds me of my sexual development and that funny period between adolescence and adulthood... I was a bit disappointed in Spore. Not for the very good reasons that a lot of the gaming community was disappointed, but for very real, personal reasons.
When I first saw the demos, the videos on YouTube, I was extremely excited. You see, Spore would seem at the time to fulfill an ongoing fantasy of mine: to make a walking army of subservient, blubbering vaginas.
I was one of the smartest kids in high school. It was a small town, but I thought I was going to be something special. I wanted to change the world. I thought I might be a biochemical engineer or geneticist. I'd work on the cure for genetic diseases. I might even help solve the world's food problems. Hell, I didn't know.
I never did well with the ladies. Not that I was all that unattractive - I was just very shy when it came to casual interaction. Besides, I was too busy with my side hobbies to have time for a girlfriend.
But teenage hormones being what they are, I still had sexual fantasies. And mine turned from elaborate female cock worshiping to quick release. Convenience. Like having a girl tied up somewhere that I'd just **** when I needed to get off. Or maybe a neighbor whose husband couldn't get it up any more.
But girls need to eat. Women talk to their husbands. Either situation was messy. I began having dreams of living in a house surrounded by disembodied vaginas. I'd just pick one up and **** it. It'd go about running into the walls, dripping all over the carpet. I'd go about my business. Next day, new vagina.
But then the nightmares started. I dreamed of my vaginal companions getting sick. Puking all over the floor. Mucus dripping everywhere. Pubic lice infesting their tufts of hair. Blood shooting out of them 12 times a year.
No, this wouldn't do at all.
So, when Spore came out, I wanted to create a virtual army of vaginas. I tried for days to create the perfect virtual embodiment of my fantasy. Disappointed was an understatement. A piece of me died the day I played Spore. I had so much invested in this fantasy. In reality, I had a **** job. I hadn't amounted to much. But I still had my goddamned fantasy. And Spore ruined it.
I bought a Fleshlight. Stewed in depression for years. Masturbating to the nastiest girls I could find online. And every time I'd clean my manjuice out of that rubber monstrosity, I realized dreams are pointless. You try. You might even succeed. But, in the end, you're probably just going to be left with a handful of your own gooey mess and a feeling that you never accomplished anything.1 angry c*nt
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09-24-2012, 08:46 AM #101
So I guess she doesn't want to see me anymore...
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09-24-2012, 08:52 AM #102Banned
- Join Date: Dec 2006
- Age: 33
- Posts: 20,641
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just get a hooker dude.Originally Posted by HamstringKing
semi-srs
Now I'm going to just bury myself in my computer screen for the next few days until I can get over myself. I texted her and said there is something wrong in my family so she doesn't think I'm a total bitch even though I am...
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