Ex BF says he still loves me but would rather smash randoms than be with me

[justanothagirl]

Any opinions?

My ex bf says he still loves me and he sees a future with me, but because he never had his time as a "bachelor" he feels he missed out and he wants to smash randoms now. At the same time he'll get angry when I start talking with a guy, when it's his choice not to be together exclusively (what the heck?).

I also don't want to sit around all lonely while he's out smashing girls every night. I mean while he's doing that, I feel it's only normal that I start looking for other guys and start dating again, see if I can find someone who is a bit more mature, loyal and can give me the things my ex lacks.

Obviously I cut out contact and I changed my number, since I don't want to be with a guy that can't be faithful to me an prioritizes random lays over someone he supposedly loves.

PS: When we were in a committed relationship, he didn't have anything to complain about sex-wise either, I was great and probably had a higher sex drive than he had. Obviously after we broke up I didn't want to sleep with him anymore especially since he's seeing other women and because I simply don't trust him anymore. Then he complains that I don't wanna sleep with him and about being put in the friend zone, but FWB is not my thing, I think it's trashy and I feel I deserve better than that.

[zappap]

"love".
"rather smash randoms".

It's going nowhere gurl.

[HeBrewHammah]

My ex bf says he still loves me and he sees a future with me, but because he never had his time as a "bachelor" he feels he missed out and he wants to smash randoms now. At the same time he'll get angry when I start talking with a guy, when it's his choice not to be together exclusively (what the heck?).

I also don't want to sit around all lonely while he's out smashing girls every night. I mean while he's doing that, I feel it's only normal that I start looking for other guys and start dating again, see if I can find someone who is a bit more mature, loyal and can give me the things my ex lacks.

Obviously I cut out contact and I changed my number, since I don't want to be with a guy that can't be faithful to me an prioritizes random lays over someone he supposedly loves.

PS: When we were in a committed relationship, he didn't have anything to complain about sex-wise either, I was great and probably had a higher sex drive than he had. Obviously after we broke up I didn't want to sleep with him anymore especially since he's seeing other women.

OP,

Move on. It's not fair for him to do his thing while you chill in and feel bad. You're just as entitled as he is. That's immature on his part to even consider it okay for him, but not for you. He is ESSENTIALLY using you as a backup, a pillow he can come back too if he realizes what he's going after sucks. Don't let it happen OP. DON'T.

You again deserve whatever it is you feel you need. No one can tell you otherwise. I definitely think you are correct though, fuk this dude. Find someone who is up to par with your standards and don't settle for any fukn less either.

Let him learn his lesson. The world doesn't revolve around him and what he wants....teach him that the hard way OP....

[jayt8]

do you really think hes out smashing girls every night?

[justanothagirl]

OP,

Move on. It's not fair for him to do his thing while you chill in and feel bad. You're just as entitled as he is. That's immature on his part to even consider it okay for him, but not for you. He is ESSENTIALLY using you as a backup, a pillow he can come back too if he realizes what he's going after sucks. Don't let it happen OP. DON'T.

You again deserve whatever it is you feel you need. No one can tell you otherwise. I definitely think you are correct though, fuk this dude. Find someone who is up to par with your standards and don't settle for any fukn less either.

Let him learn his lesson. The world doesn't revolve around him and what he wants....teach him that the hard way OP....

Thank you, I appreciate it.

Get out now OP. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

True, I agree.

do you really think hes out smashing girls every night?

He's got a lot of FWB. They're not very attractive looking (6/10 at most) but all incredibly slutty/trashy looking too.

[Haterade~]

Only read title sorry, but that is NOT love, lol @ him. That's like abusing the "serious" tag on here, but... Well... Much more serious.

If I were you, I wouldn't even think about associating with a dumfuk who says things like that. Especially at age 24.

[FU3L]

He's putting you on the back burner while he pursues other options. If nothing pans out, he wants to know you'll still be there for him.

[justanothagirl]

Only read title sorry, but that is NOT love, lol @ him. That's like abusing the "serious" tag on here, but... Well... Much more serious.

If I were you, I wouldn't even think about associating with a dumfuk who says things like that. Especially at age 24.

Thank you. BTW repping all the serious responses in this thread on recharge.

[ThePoz]

do you really think hes out smashing girls every night?

If I were OP's ex I would be saving that for the weekend and instead playing Call of Duty every night.

[copiusGains]

This is alot of guys problem,myself included. My looks developed about 2yrs ago,prior to that i got little female attentio besides friends. Most girls had alredy been with more than one guy(sexually) b418. At that point i didnt want a gf but felt i needed oneto get laid,but after didnt want to be with anymore.


Answer this,have u been with more guys than ur bf has girls?

[justanothagirl]

This is alot of guys problem,myself included. My looks developed about 2yrs ago,prior to that i got little female attentio besides friends. Most girls had alredy been with more than one guy(sexually) b418. At that point i didnt want a gf but felt i needed oneto get laid,but after didnt want to be with anymore.


Answer this,have u been with more guys than ur bf has girls?

No I've been with 3 guys in total, and I have no idea how many girls he's been with but I'm guessing it's a lot. I'm pretty sure he's got a sex addiction, he's not mentally healthy I think.

[DeBaie]

cliffs?
Lets be honest, the fact that you are his ex is one flag, the other is that your post refers to him smashing and other women.
Get out of there with ease. You're only doing yourself a favour - and you know it.

[justanothagirl]

cliffs?
Lets be honest, the fact that you are his ex is one flag, the other is that your post refers to him smashing and other women.
Get out of there with ease. You're only doing yourself a favour - and you know it.

Cliffs:
-ex bf says he still loves me and sees a future with me
-never had his "bachelor" time and wants to smash other girls every night and expects me to sit around and wait for him until he's ready to settle down

[Tiffany Wantsmore]

Yep, cutting him off and getting on with your life is exactly what you need to do. If he wants to do his thing fair enough but its not fair to expect you to wait around while he gets it out of his system.

[justanothagirl]

Yep, cutting him off and getting on with your life is exactly what you need to do. If he wants to do his thing fair enough but its not fair to expect you to wait around while he gets it out of his system.

Thank you.

[ThePoz]

Cliffs:
-ex bf says he still loves me and sees a future with me
-never had his "bachelor" time and wants to smash other girls every night and expects me to sit around and wait for him until he's ready to settle down

He doesn't see a future with you. I hope you don't believe

He's putting you on the back burner while he pursues other options. If nothing pans out, he wants to know you'll still be there for him.

^^^

[copiusGains]

No I've been with 3 guys in total, and I have no idea how many girls he's been with but I'm guessing it's a lot. I'm pretty sure he's got a sex addiction, he's not mentally healthy I think.

He couldnt have been with alot if he says he never got to be a bachelor. I remeber the first time my friend and i got laid we didnt say we were virgins to our gf's bcuz thet assumed we had experience bcuz we both were both aestetic facial wise and body wise(im shorter tho). Ps. Its best to just leve this one alone and move on.

[justanothagirl]

He couldnt have been with alot if he says he never got to be a bachelor. I remeber the first time my friend and i got laid we didnt say we were virgins to our gf's bcuz thet assumed we had experience bcuz we both were both aestetic facial wise and body wise(im shorter tho). Ps. Its best to just leve this one alone and move on.

Trust me he's been with a lot. In his mind he hasn't had his time as a bachelor, but that's because to him being a bachelor is smashing girls for a few years straight and getting into the hundreds (if he isn't already, I don't even know anymore...). Everyone has got their own definition of it.

[HeBrewHammah]

This is alot of guys problem,myself included. My looks developed about 2yrs ago,prior to that i got little female attentio besides friends. Most girls had alredy been with more than one guy(sexually) b418. At that point i didnt want a gf but felt i needed oneto get laid,but after didnt want to be with anymore.

It's about self control. You can draw excuses up day in and day out....and this goes for anyone...but what it really comes down to is the person themselves. If you or anybody wanted to remain faithful/loyal to a partner you would. I don't blame genetics, past gf's or the nature of a species like a lot of people toss around on here...I blame the person. You're accountable for what you do with someone as well as without. Right?

A relationship takes work. Known Fact. People let it slide though after time. But really, it's the couple's responsibility to find new ways to share their love/happiness or whatever else and keep the fire lit. If one side slacks and loses that interest ultimately it ends in a failure. (cheating, lies or whatever else)


I'm not saying anything bad here CG, But I've never been one to harp on my looks though. I know I'm not hideous, but I'm a humble person. Fortunately, I am fully in control of myself and my actions. Not many people here are. When I screw up, I look for what "I" did wrong...not how I can defer blame on someone else. nomsaying? My mind works for me and that's the most powerful thing anyone has. Lol, not many people understand that concept though.

But, I'm also a rare breed of a guy apparently.

[copiusGains]

Trust me he's been with a lot. In his mind he hasn't had his time as a bachelor, but that's because to him being a bachelor is smashing girls for a few years straight and getting into the hundreds. Everyone has got their own definition of it.

Lol. I guess he is an addict. Im curious tho. Whydo women always get serious with guys with high numbers? Most girls THINK my number is high bcuz of how look and act but its NOT. Is it true then that womeb actually like players?

[justanothagirl]

Lol. I guess he is an addict. Im curious tho. Whydo women always get serious with guys with high numbers? Most girls THINK my number is high bcuz of how look and act but its NOT. Is it true then that womeb actually like players?

Yeah I really think he has a sex addiction problem as well.

I got serious with him before he got sex addicted (I think?) or at least I didn't know. I remember the conversation we had on our first date I told him I'm not into ONS he's like 'Yeah me neither that's gross".

[copiusGains]

Idk u sure. I say hes lying and wants to get it out if his "system"but u kno him better than I. U just hav to cut your losses. Sorry tho,goodluck in ur future relationdhips,hopefully youll get married then.

[huggybearza]

Everything he said was a cop out. all i read was BLaah blah blaaah.... just leave it, aint worth the time to think about it. If you are thinking about him you only giving in... So dont!

[justanothagirl]

Thank you guys^.

[Mr Beer]

Any opinions?

My ex bf says he still loves me and he sees a future with me, but because he never had his time as a "bachelor" he feels he missed out and he wants to smash randoms now. At the same time he'll get angry when I start talking with a guy

I didn't need to read any further. If you turned this story around and made you a guy and your BF it a jealous non-exclusive GF, every single poster would call you a beta ******* and advice would vary by poster but would be a) cut all contact now and forever b) use for sex and dump when someone better turned up c) she can't be a lying hypocritical whore if she's dead, just sayin' and d) grudge fukk and dump.

Draw your own conclusions. But you are fukking retarded if you think he actually loves you and see a future with you, except as a convenient sperm receptacle.

[WizardGlick]

Any opinions?

My ex bf says he still loves me and he sees a future with me, but because he never had his time as a "bachelor" he feels he missed out and he wants to smash randoms now. At the same time he'll get angry when I start talking with a guy, when it's his choice not to be together exclusively (what the heck?).

I also don't want to sit around all lonely while he's out smashing girls every night. I mean while he's doing that, I feel it's only normal that I start looking for other guys and start dating again, see if I can find someone who is a bit more mature, loyal and can give me the things my ex lacks.

Obviously I cut out contact and I changed my number, since I don't want to be with a guy that can't be faithful to me an prioritizes random lays over someone he supposedly loves.

PS: When we were in a committed relationship, he didn't have anything to complain about sex-wise either, I was great and probably had a higher sex drive than he had. Obviously after we broke up I didn't want to sleep with him anymore especially since he's seeing other women and because I simply don't trust him anymore. Then he complains that I don't wanna sleep with him and about being put in the friend zone, but FWB is not my thing, I think it's trashy and I feel I deserve better than that.

Then he doesn't really love you. If you want a monogamous and he doesn't he doesn't love you. He may have some kind of feelings for you but unless you both want the same thing it'll never work out.

Sorry, just find someone that wants what you want and you'll be much happier. Otherwise look forward to misery in your life.

[justanothagirl]

I didn't need to read any further. If you turned this story around and made you a guy and your BF it a jealous non-exclusive GF, every single poster would call you a beta ******* and advice would vary by poster but would be a) cut all contact now and forever b) use for sex and dump when someone better turned up c) she can't be a lying hypocritical whore if she's dead, just sayin' and d) grudge fukk and dump.

Draw your own conclusions. But you are fukking retarded if you think he actually loves you and see a future with you, except as a convenient sperm receptacle.

Lol, good point.

Then he doesn't really love you. If you want a monogamous and he doesn't he doesn't love you. He may have some kind of feelings for you but unless you both want the same thing it'll never work out.

Sorry, just find someone that wants what you want and you'll be much happier. Otherwise look forward to misery in your life.

I guess you're right, thank you.

[huggybearza]

Lol, good point.


I guess you're right, thank you.

No Guessing , just right!! ...

[sword_]

Cut contact.

[Ncueter]

Op where you from