Thoughts on dominant/submissive relationships (BDSM) lifestlye..?

[1968camarors]

Just curious as to the females perspective on this or if anyone has tried or is currently in a D/s relationship. For those who don't know d/s relationships are where usually the male takes on the role of the dominant and in many cases(but not all the time) makes rules for his submissive significant other to follow, anywhere from make a home cooked meal atleast 3 times a week to having to ask permission to do certain things. In proper D/s relationships the rules are discussed between each other and are agreed upon on what's expected from each other and doms should always have the best interest for the sub in mind.

Thoughts?Opinions?Questions?

[cyanotikat]

Did it when I was single (as the dominant). No probs with the lifestyle. Have you been reading 50 shades or something? Lol

[1968camarors]

No I have not and can't say that's a factor. So you were in a relationship when you were single? I must be missunderstanding....

[cyanotikat]

No I have not and can't say that's a factor. So you were in a relationship when you were single? I must be missunderstanding....

Many "relationships." I saw them more as... play toys(?) for lack of a better way to put it, not an equal.

[1968camarors]

Many "relationships." I saw them more as... play toys(?) for lack of a better way to put it, not an equal.

I got ya... why never try a real relationship as a Dom?

[chemicalromance]

I got ya... why never try a real relationship as a Dom?

Because the man is always the dominant one, and when he is, the woman is comfortable in her submissive role. The key here is to note that I said "the man" not "the male."

[Botika]

I think if people should do what ever they want provided no one gets hurt and it's consensual. Personally I'm too much of a "Type A" to play a submissive role in a relationship. I also wouldn't like a submissive guy. Relationships that are equal work for me!

[aristomeow]

I think if people should do what ever they want provided no one gets hurt and it's consensual. Personally I'm too much of a "Type A" to play a submissive role in a relationship. I also wouldn't like a submissive guy. Relationships that are equal work for me!

This.

Also, your thread title is a bit misleading. Are you talking about relationships or just the bedroom aspect?

I like the push-and-shove that comes with being a dominant woman in a relationship with a dominant man. Although I come off as submissive, super-feminised role in public it has never been the real status of my relationships.

[PunkyCindy]

Personally I think these types of relationships can be fulfilling, wonderful, and very loving; however, they can also be abusive and unhealthy. It all depends on the people involved and above all else communication and mutual respect. Every relationship is different and the rules of each relationship depend on the people involved and where their comfort levels are and what they want from the relationship. I think it takes special people to be involved in a 24/7 d's relationship and it's not something to enter into lightly for either party. Whether you're 24/7 in the lifestyle or whether you experiment with different people or within your relationship, communication and respect are most important and if that's not present in the relationship and limits aren't respected it can be a terrible situation.

[Ma110W]

Whatever floats your boat. Is it for me? Hell no.

[fitnesspink]

ive been in this type of relationship where slowly over a couple of months ground rules were put down as to where I could go and who I could go out with. i'm pretty easy going so i agreed and went along with it but ultimately i realized im an adult and i shouldnt need to ask permission from another person to do anything, especially considering i would never do anything inappropriate whether it was a rule or not. i think as long as two people can treat eachother with respect there should be no need to have rules.

[EliteBrah]

Ive noticed that women typically take a submissive role with me. They just assume that position. Right now im thinking back to one female in particular who would enjoy/expect me to dictate everything.
While in general I consider myself to be dominant I don't like to be controlling (i think they are two seperate things). I hate people telling me what to do and I want the same for others.

[chemicalromance]

Ive noticed that women typically take a submissive role with me. They just assume that position. Right now im thinking back to one female in particular who would enjoy/expect me to dictate everything.
While in general I consider myself to be dominant I don't like to be controlling (i think they are two seperate things). I hate people telling me what to do and I want the same for others.

If you hate telling people what to do, you are not as dominant as you think, and I don't see why women would be submissive to you. Women like being told what to do, in the right context, by someone who is a real alpha. Also, there is no such thing as "people" in this context, there are men and women, two very different sexes.

[UnaChispita]

Ive noticed that women typically take a submissive role with me. They just assume that position. Right now im thinking back to one female in particular who would enjoy/expect me to dictate everything.
While in general I consider myself to be dominant I don't like to be controlling (i think they are two seperate things). I hate people telling me what to do and I want the same for others.

I understand what you're saying, but OP is talking about a specific lifestyle.

If you hate telling people what to do, you are not as dominant as you think, and I don't see why women would be submissive to you. Women like being told what to do, in the right context, by someone who is a real alpha. Also, there is no such thing as "people" in this context, there are men and women, two very different sexes.

*Sigh*
You again.

I am not generally this blunt with people, but I just need to tell you that I think you're full of crapola.

Have a nice day.

[aristomeow]

If you hate telling people what to do, you are not as dominant as you think, and I don't see why women would be submissive to you. Women like being told what to do, in the right context, by someone who is a real alpha. Also, there is no such thing as "people" in this context, there are men and women, two very different sexes.

*genders.

I'd like to just point out that this happens in homosexual and genderqueer relationships too.

But carry on.

[EliteBrah]

If you hate telling people what to do, you are not as dominant as you think, and I don't see why women would be submissive to you. Women like being told what to do, in the right context, by someone who is a real alpha. Also, there is no such thing as "people" in this context, there are men and women, two very different sexes.

Your idea of what constitutes power is both funny and inaccurate
Leading while taking into consideration the interests of others is very different from straight out controlling someone

[UnaChispita]

*genders.

Yep. Do you know the difference ChemicalRomance?

I'd like to just point out that this happens in homosexual and genderqueer relationships too.

But carry on.

Good point.

[Igmann]

There will always be an element of dominance and submission; there is no such thing as total "power equality" in a relationship.

I am old fashioned in this sense. In my belief, it is the role of the man to be a leader, he should be an inspiration to his woman, he should be the initiator and so forth. I don't think that most women are satisfied playing a dominant role. Many women play a dominant role but this isn't voluntary. They are just surrounded by weak men who put them into this position.

If you hate telling people what to do, you are not as dominant as you think, and I don't see why women would be submissive to you. Women like being told what to do, in the right context, by someone who is a real alpha. Also, there is no such thing as "people" in this context, there are men and women, two very different sexes.

You use the word "alpha" therefore you have no credibility.

Men and women are fundamentally the same. Their ways of expressing themselves are different but the differences end there.

This.

Also, your thread title is a bit misleading. Are you talking about relationships or just the bedroom aspect?

I like the push-and-shove that comes with being a dominant woman in a relationship with a dominant man. Although I come off as submissive, super-feminised role in public it has never been the real status of my relationships.

The way that the relationship is handled will carry over into the bedroom.

You come off submissive and super feminised in public because you yearn to feel that elsewhere in your relationship. You want to be dominated but again, there are few men out there who are truly comfortable and confident with playing a dominant role. They tip toe around the woman, so as to not offend her. When deep down she wants a man who will bend her over, pull her hair back, pin her down and do all of those other things that men and women should do on their free time. This is just based on my experience.

[chemicalromance]

*genders.

I'd like to just point out that this happens in homosexual and genderqueer relationships too.

But carry on.

Gender is incorrect. The correct term is, and has always been, sex. The term makes people uneasy so it was gradually dropped in favor of an incorrect but more acceptable term. This coincides, not surprisingly, with the rise of hordes of betas who are ashamed of the appendage between their legs and seek to erase differences between the sexes. It's called a perversion of nature. But I digress. As far as BDSM, I think some light BDSM may be a natural extension of a dominant/submissive healthy relationship. Pain and needles and other extreme stuff does not interest me.

[Igmann]

Dominance is not just physically expressed. A person has to feel that you are mentally dominant, that you make their legs feel weak when you look into their eyes...they have to feel it long before you physically express it. If they don't feel that you are dominant, they will not respond too well with your expression, so to speak.

[aristomeow]

Gender is incorrect. The correct term is, and has always been, sex. The term makes people uneasy so it was gradually dropped in favor of an incorrect but more acceptable term. This coincides, not surprisingly, with the rise of hordes of betas who are ashamed of the appendage between their legs and seek to erase differences between the sexes. It's called a perversion of nature. But I digress. As far as BDSM, I think some light BDSM may be a natural extension of a dominant/submissive healthy relationship. Pain and needles and other extreme stuff does not interest me.

"Masculinity" and its' characteristics- emotional aloofness, aggression, confidence, high sex drive- is a social convention and so is "femininity"- passiveness, a certain degree of emotional instability, nurturing.

You only need look at different cultures and their expectations of women to note that these have only been tied to sex because of socialization, and not because they are innately 'male' or 'female' traits. The animal world would show you the same thing.

[UnaChispita]

Gender is incorrect. The correct term is, and has always been, sex. The term makes people uneasy so it was gradually dropped in favor of an incorrect but more acceptable term. This coincides, not surprisingly, with the rise of hordes of betas who are ashamed of the appendage between their legs and seek to erase differences between the sexes. It's called a perversion of nature. .

No. You are incorrect. "Gender" refers to socially constructed roles. "Sex" refers to biological differences between men and women. Defining "gender" differently from "sex" does not erase the "differences between the sexes."

[chemicalromance]

"Masculinity" and its' characteristics- emotional aloofness, aggression, confidence, high sex drive- is a social convention and so is "femininity"- passiveness, a certain degree of emotional instability, nurturing.

You only need look at different cultures and their expectations of women to note that these have only been tied to sex because of socialization, and not because they are innately 'male' or 'female' traits. The animal world would show you the same thing.

The proper term is still sex, hence the existence of the expression "the fair sex." You don't say "the fair gender."

No. You are incorrect. "Gender" refers to socially constructed roles. "Sex" refers to biological differences between men and women. Defining "gender" differently from "sex" does not erase the "differences between the sexes."

I only know about this trivial subject because I came across an article a while back about the change and its causes and implications. You are free to disagree.

[cowboybiker]

This thread needs to be closed just for the mere fact that chemicalbromance is in it.

[UnaChispita]

The proper term is still sex, hence the existence of the expression "the fair sex." You don't say "the fair gender."

No. You are still wrong. And still full of crap.
(Your example does not prove your point, btw).

I only know about this trivial subject because I came across an article a while back about the change and its causes and implications. You are free to disagree.

Doesn't seem trivial to you. If it was "trivial" you wouldn't have bothered to comment in the first place.

Question CR: Do women scare you?

This thread needs to be closed just for the mere fact that chemicalbromance is in it.

[aristomeow]

The proper term is still sex, hence the existence of the expression "the fair sex." You don't say "the fair gender."

I only know about this trivial subject because I came across an article a while back about the change and its causes and implications. You are free to disagree.

Being the "fair sex" is not biology.

[Lioness27]

There will always be an element of dominance and submission; there is no such thing as total "power equality" in a relationship.

I am old fashioned in this sense. In my belief, it is the role of the man to be a leader, he should be an inspiration to his woman, he should be the initiator and so forth. I don't think that most women are satisfied playing a dominant role. Many women play a dominant role but this isn't voluntary. They are just surrounded by weak men who put them into this position.

I like it when the man is dominant and the leader. I was raised in a very old fashioned household and my Dad was very dominant and that's how I learned that I liked the man being dominant. I can come off as being dominant on certain occasions, however, I enjoy being the submissive one.

[1968camarors]

I see this thread digressed quite a bit.... but thanks for the input. I would like people who've experienced a relationship like this to chime in a bit more if they're out there.

Edit- and by relationship I mean outside the bedroom normal every day life as D/s

[chemicalromance]

Being the "fair sex" is not biology.

Yet the word sex is still used, just like in biology? You know why? Because it's the proper term. Una, why would women scare me? Weird question. I love women.

[UnaChispita]

Yet the word sex is still used, just like in biology? You know why? Because it's the proper term. Una, why would women scare me? Weird question. I love women.

CR I would love to explore this delusion you have, but OP has asked us to stay on topic.