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  1. #1
    Stalkers gonna stalk VendettaV2b's Avatar
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    Angry NEED HELP: GF Eating 500 calories a day

    Hey Guys

    I need some input to help talk some sense in my GF. (new girlfriend I didnt allow her to go onto this diet)

    Shes 21 5ft 8 and 9 stone. She recently lost a lot of weight recently doing one of these stupid ass 500 calorie deficit diets. (not from fat from average build to slim)

    >Ive kicked and screamed and showed her numerous links to the net showing how bad these diet are.
    >She says she feels fine and shes totally happy how she looks. (Even though she had really bad stomach cramps last night)
    >She said she wants to tone up now but wont listen that she needs to eat more. (yes usual argument "Im not a bodybuilder" "I dont want to get massive")
    >She says shes not hungry and struggles to eat large amounts. I told her this is because she has destroyed her appetite the more she eats the better her appetite will become

    I can write her up a calorie diet/eating plan and everything as I have done it for people in the past. But she isnt interested in the minute. Her BMR is around 1,800 (quickly off memory) and she laughs at me when I tell her she needs to be eating this amount even with 0 activity

    The problem is a lot of people has told her she has lost too much too soon or shes looking too skiny. So now that Im on her case (never said she looked to skinny or anything) she thinks Im worrying too much about nothing (once again as she "feels fine").

    Hoping some of the ladies of this section can throw some advice her way when I show her this or even say listen to me as Im right.
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  2. #2
    Registered User sonti's Avatar
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    9 stone is about 126lbs, right? So 5'8 & 126lbs.

    It isn't unusual for someone previously overweight to go right to the other end of the spectrum and develop an eating disorder associated with severe calorie restriction/weight loss.

    Not sure if she's just thick as a brick wall or mentally ill, but I don't forsee you being able to fix this. Either let her go to a professional, put up with it, or leave.
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  3. #3
    Registered User LadyBigFood's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by VendettaV2b View Post
    Hey Guys

    I need some input to help talk some sense in my GF. (new girlfriend I didnt allow her to go onto this diet)

    Shes 21 5ft 8 and 9 stone. She recently lost a lot of weight recently doing one of these stupid ass 500 calorie deficit diets. (not from fat from average build to slim)

    >Ive kicked and screamed and showed her numerous links to the net showing how bad these diet are.
    >She says she feels fine and shes totally happy how she looks. (Even though she had really bad stomach cramps last night)
    >She said she wants to tone up now but wont listen that she needs to eat more. (yes usual argument "Im not a bodybuilder" "I dont want to get massive")
    >She says shes not hungry and struggles to eat large amounts. I told her this is because she has destroyed her appetite the more she eats the better her appetite will become

    I can write her up a calorie diet/eating plan and everything as I have done it for people in the past. But she isnt interested in the minute. Her BMR is around 1,800 (quickly off memory) and she laughs at me when I tell her she needs to be eating this amount even with 0 activity

    The problem is a lot of people has told her she has lost too much too soon or shes looking too skiny. So now that Im on her case (never said she looked to skinny or anything) she thinks Im worrying too much about nothing (once again as she "feels fine").

    Hoping some of the ladies of this section can throw some advice her way when I show her this or even say listen to me as Im right.
    I'm not a licensed mental health practitioner, but it very much sounds like your girlfriend is struggling with anorexia. The best support you can give her is encouragement to seek treatment/talk to a therapist. Eating disorders are deadly and shouldn't be taken lightly. Best of luck.
    "The myth that women shouldn't lift heavy is only perpetuated by women who fear work and men who fear women."
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  4. #4
    Stalkers gonna stalk VendettaV2b's Avatar
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    Thank you guys I think I may have caught it in the butt early enough to sway her around. Hopefully I can get in control of it to help her
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  5. #5
    Registered User tina722's Avatar
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    Like the others said, you need to be prepared for when/if you can't help her. Talk to her about seeing a therapist, it may take a few months for her to agree. Even if it doesn't actually come to that, it'll be good to get her to start thinking about it.
    Last edited by tina722; 09-05-2012 at 08:59 AM. Reason: added more
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  6. #6
    Registered User acrawlingchaos's Avatar
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    While it is possible your GF may be devloping an eating disorder, just being on a highly restricted low cal is NOT a smoking gun.

    Sometimes it's easy to stand on your soap box and tell someone else that they are wrong, but if she is happy with what she is doing and doesn't want to change, who are you to judge? There probably isn't much you can do.
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  7. #7
    Oh, yes!! lynore's Avatar
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    The more you try to get her to change, the more she will resist. Control probably will not work at all.

    Good luck.
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  8. #8
    Not tomorrow...today kjake55's Avatar
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    A couple of things jumped out at me as soon as I read your posts,

    this:
    Originally Posted by VendettaV2b View Post
    (new girlfriend I didnt allow her to go onto this diet)
    and this:
    Originally Posted by VendettaV2b View Post
    Hopefully I can get in control of it to help her
    It's not up to you to allow anything and it's not up to you to get in control of anything in HER LIFE. I agree she eats too little but from the sound of your comments you're a domineering guy disguised as a caring boyfriend. Scary stuff imo.

    If she doesn't want your help then leave it alone. If she does want your help she knows it's there for her and she'll ask. Otherwise, if you can't leave her to make her own decisions get out of the relationship. But one way or another none of this is for you to decide upon.
    You have to train your mind the same way you train your body. You must protect it against the negative and feed it with the positive. Be mindful of what you watch, what you read and who you allow to influence you. Learn to consider your thoughts emotions and actions. Trust your gut face your fears head on and never quit. AJ Roberts

    http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=143102443
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  9. #9
    Oh, yes!! lynore's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by kjake55 View Post
    A couple of things jumped out at me as soon as I read your posts,

    this:

    and this:


    It's not up to you to allow anything and it's not up to you to get in control of anything in HER LIFE. I agree she eats too little but from the sound of your comments you're a domineering guy disguised as a caring
    boyfriend. Scary stuff imo.

    If she doesn't want your help then leave it alone. If she does want your help she knows it's there for her and she'll ask. Otherwise, if you can't leave her to make her own decisions get out of the relationship. But one way
    or another none of this is for you to decide upon.

    ^^^ this X 1,000
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  10. #10
    Registered User Arodr58's Avatar
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    Good one

    Originally Posted by kjake55 View Post
    A couple of things jumped out at me as soon as I read your posts,

    this:

    and this:

    It's not up to you to allow anything and it's not up to you to get in control of anything in HER LIFE. I agree she eats too little but from the sound of your comments you're a domineering guy disguised as a caring boyfriend. Scary stuff imo.

    If she doesn't want your help then leave it alone. If she does want your help she knows it's there for her and she'll ask. Otherwise, if you can't leave her to make her own decisions get out of the relationship. But one way or another none of this is for you to decide upon.
    Agreed.
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  11. #11
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    sh*t man i don't know this is a tough one, try putting a gun to her head before she becomes really pleased with herself and things get out of control.
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